#eveningthoughts

✨ Time to unwind! ✨ Time to relax and let the day fade away. 💆‍♀️ How was your day? 😊

#blacklover #black #nity #alwaysblack #neverchange #blackwork #blacklove #blackwedensday #eveningthoughts #blacksky #willbesameforever #lazy_book_bug https://www.instagram.com/p/CBilCdjFyUz/?igshid=9dxijqo1320o

as I sit in my dark room. I close the my white curtains. the light escapes. leaving only the soft glow of the grey evening sky. my mind is full of pointless thoughts on top of other pointless thoughts I haven't forgotten. the past lingers in parts of my mind that are the loneliest. because the past can only ever be lonely. you've been there before. you've already felt that way. so you know what to expect every time you go back. and I tend to always go back. - sm.j

Elsa is not “lesbian Jesus” nor is she required to have a significant other or sexual preference at all. She is an outstanding representation of a grace/ace individual who shows that people identifying this way are not selfish or withholding of love but actually quite compassionate and caring. She is her own hero and powerful in her own right and doesn’t need to conform to society’s obsession with pairing off their populous.

I feel sad.

I want to be born again in this world. Carrying the same brain, same thinking and same heart. So that I can avoid loving you again. So that no one will know me like today. And So that I can be myself again, be broken, be judged, learn and be born again.

I woke up and decided to confront some of the lies and hidden truths I harbored. It wasn’t easy, because there were so many things to confess. I had to stop being afraid of losing people. I realized when I try to hold on to people I overcompensate with lies and politeness. I never wanted to ruffle feathers. I hated when I felt ignored or insignificant. So I would lie. Fabricate things to be more understandable, significant, and loved. It was my coping mechanism. There has been this destructive need to be valued. I needed to be valued. It wasn’t until I realized you can’t be valued if it’s not authentic. I got to this point in my life where my personal truth was better than any lie I could have told. My truth finally gave me the love and embrace I’ve always wanted...shit craved for. I am still learning how to live in my truth fearlessly. To my amazing friends who encourage and embrace me for who I am and not what I want them to see I thank you. You give me courage to live my best and most authentic life. I’ve been blessed to have experiences that have humbled me. I have a couple of things I’m still working on like my isolation issues, binge eating, and finding a proper creative space. I still need to learn how to block out some of the voices in my head, but one voice I can never block out is the voice that keeps telling me to be better by doing better. I am grateful for the opportunities God provides for me to learn and encourage myself. I am nowhere near perfect in fact i’m flawed AF, but I’m still worthy of love and I’m excited to pursue my happiness and self love. I can’t say this has been easy, but it has been rewarding. I’m grateful. It’s SKNDEEP and I’m OUT!