#relationshit

My genuine reaction:

tw: ed life sucks and this is the only thing taking the edge off

Somehow I still see through deep in your eyes.

So it should be no surprise the way you act

As fickle as flies, as a matter of fact.

I see you here I hear you there

you are in everything everywhere.

But I do not smile I only tire

The way things were who you were it's been a while.

It's not happiness that I miss

or the softness from your kiss

These arent the things Id choose if I had a wish.

No it's something else all these things untrue

If it's time I have I always choose you.

But this is not something I can choose to have

You've chosen a life that drives you mad.

You drag me through it on a thin piece of yarn

You spun it from me I gladly gave you my arm.

I thought you use it to keep yourself warm

But now it's you I have to mourn.

You are not here you are not there

You are not tangible so I grab at the air.

This life can be unfair but it's you who brings us there

This life could be happy but it's you who are unfair.

We cannot blame the universe it did what it can

It's always been you who always chose another man.

You were scared I would do it so you struck first

You always knew what to say what really hurts.

I cannot give you what you will not let me

It's you for my heart who is the real enemy.

Too scared to stand here in front of me

Too scared to say too scared to be.

You become no one and nothing twords me.

You give no effort like your heart is empty

I would say soul but that's easy to see.

You lost yourself in searching for me

But you never came where I told you I'd be.

You did not look for me in me

You only searched in others you see.

One day you'll realize

there is no prize.

There is no game there is no fun

And what you've done cannot be undone.

No longer blame me for these things, I see

I'm not the only one it's clear to me.

I know you're not blind unlucky or dumb

Did you just chose dumb things like short-term fun.

You thought avoiding what was really true

Would somehow help you get past and through.

You knew the answers and showed the rest

You gave it to me and I passed with glee.

For the test was not to see if I was the best

For in it you hoped I would fail miserably.

Then you would have justification to run and flee.

To give you a reason to hate me

But I already knew the universe meant it to be.

Showed up every second throwing you at me

But in those moments you cease to be.

You had no intention no matter how it came to be

To do the opposite and do it excitedly.

I tell you now, I don't know how many there will be

These chances the universe gives opportunity.

You destroyed so many like a fire burning endlessly

You may have desire but you try and burn it in the fire.

This no longer rhymes as the end comes its time

In the future you will come across me

But do not look me in the face

don't come anywhere near me not even with space.

You had your chance you had your time

Will always cherish you but no longer after this time.

You do not try and I see the chances me and the universe give

As you throw them away stomp on them and act like we never did.

But my heart was in there and my brain All of Me.

And you stomped and you kicked for the last time

I've seen enough the signs so Grand.

And if not here if now you do not come to me

I've run out of ways to try

You've made me no longer know why

Like a bad dream maybe I should forget.

But I grow tired and weary yet

I still do not see you in front of me.

This pointless dream you will never let it be

The dream comes to close as my eyes do too

In my arms you will not be

I will not hold you while you get a kiss from me.

Your forehead stays cold as I grow old

And from what I've been told your heart is icy cold.

I do not know what's left of you

But in the end when we finally die old

The stories of you and how we met will never be told.

You are not something I will speak of

Because you are no longer something I smile because of.

You're only this thing that follows and darkens me

And in my hurt you stay with me.

But in my heart I want no hurt.

I need room for happiness to grow you see

Love will blossom it pours out of me

But you do not drink love and you do not care

I'll give it to someone else they'll have my hot air.

These poems I wrote for you are unfair

For in the words there is beauty there

But in you there's only despair.

Your words have no weight they're only hot air.