#established 00q

1. luck might play a part by bluelongan                

"This is rigged. It definitely is."

James and Q take on a claw machine.

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00q being soft just melts my heart

2. cooking lessons by bluelongan             

give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; give this man a fish and you witness utter dismay.

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ahjfkj i love domestic 00q

3. then that's what we will have to do by blindbatalex (@blindbatalex)

After a gruelling few days at work Q is looking forward to crashing at his best friend's place and cuddling with her to sleep.  The only problem?  For some reason when he rings the doorbell it is Bond who answers the door.

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1. The Redemption of the Blond by versions91

As told by the Duke.

(Or: After Bond came back, Q’s cats meddle to enable Bond’s reconciliation with Q.)

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never knew i needed cats talking in shakespearan english

2. The Laws of Road and Reason by samanthahirr (@samanthahirr)

Q takes unorthodox—and sexy—steps to improve Bond's driving before his secret-agent boyfriend totals another MI6 vehicle.

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i CACKLED

3. one last line by blindbatalex (@blindbatalex)      

There was a real smile on Q’s face now, however small.  He touched James’ head, fingers so light James only felt the ghost of their touch.  Only he would be kind enough, or easy to bully enough (and weren’t the two one and the same, really?) to look after a feral cat and consider the bloody animal letting himself get pet two weeks later a gift.

In which James has been turned into a cat and takes it upon himself to comfort a forlorn Q, however begrudgingly.

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okay first of all, your writing is so good and i am so flattered that you are looking at this very very messy blog

1. million dollar question by skylights (@frijae)

Q doesn’t bend for anything and Q certainly doesn’t break for anyone, especially when it comes to stubborn double-ohs intent on making Q’s life hell, so when Q wakes up on a Saturday morning to 12 new texts from Bond and the incessant ringing of his flat’s doorbell, Q makes sure to bring a gun to answer the door.

“Delivery for one…Quabik Quadree?”Q feels the weight of the Glock 19 in the pocket of his dressing gown and sincerely wonders whether to shoot the delivery man or himself.

(or, that fic where everyone wants to know Q’s name and stupid things happen in the process)

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ok i wont lie you might have already read this fic, but it is still too good not to rec.

2. [podfic] Q-Branch Does Not Operate a Phone Sex Line by mothlights

An audio recording of laughtershock's Q-Branch Does Not Operate a Phone Sex Line  Streaming, MP3 & M4B. [00:9:04]

He's four days into a mission in Bangladesh and running from multiple armed men through the streets of Dhaka when Q asks, "What are you wearing?"

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unfortunately the original has been deleted, so i could only find the podfic link for you, but the fic itself is so good, and the audio just brings it to another level.

3. Advances by Tokyo_the_Glaive (@tokyotheglaive)

Of the many, many questions Q had never expected to ask anyone, the one that had just passed his lips was perhaps amongst the most unexpected of them all.

“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

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1. questions & quarrels by Mlle_Heloise

When Madeleine returns with Bond to the Pevsner Hotel to find room 12 empty, she starts to see a different side of him. She isn’t sure at first what she has walked into, but after a series of questions and quarrels, Madeleine starts to see everything for what it is.

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ok but madeleine actually being a good character in fics is so refreshing?? and her using her psychiatrist knowledge to get them back together is mwah

2. By Manner, By Measure by ThrillingDetectiveTales

“Oberhauser is still alive,” Q explained, tapping at the keys. “The ring proves it. And it seems they were all part of one organization. Le Chiffre, Quantum, Sciarra, and your friend Mr. Silva.”

Bond’s mouth quirked. “My friend?”

“He certainly isn’t mine,” Q replied. “There was trace DNA from all of them on the ring. And do you know who links them all?” He looked up before Bond could reply and met the other man’s gaze over his shoulder, mouth curling just a little as he prodded, “Go on, give us a guess.”

“Him,” Bond rumbled ominously, voice low and black. Near to Q as he was it would only take a shift of weight from one foot to the other to bring their mouths together.

Madeleine felt herself flush faintly at the realization, but didn’t look away. How very interesting.

~~~

madeleine third wheeling 00q is such a vibe ngl

3. Second Rate by SailorChibi (@tsuki-chibi)

When the door opens again, three more people spill into the room. For her benefit, James identifies them as Moneypenny, Tanner and Q. Her attention is arrested by him, this quartermaster, this boy. She watches the way Q watches James and, for the first time, actually goes past understanding and gets it.

Then Bond laughs at something M says and cockily adds, "He can do it. Our Q has a lot of talent." And his eyes kind of get a little more of that sparkle, and it takes everything she has not to start crying on the spot. Every fragmented thought of what life might have been like from now on goes up in smoke.

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1. Just Dropped In by nipsu

Two years after going dark, Alec Trevelyan returns to London. After discovering his home has been sold, there might only be one other place he could go to lick his wounds. When he arrives, he realises just how much can change in two years. Was that a cat on his old friend's liquor cabinet?

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this one addresses the alex bond friendship quite nicely and there’s a smidgeon of a hint of 00q00 if that’s your thing, but otherwise you can read it as just 00q too

2. The Devil of Upper Winkleton by christinefromsherwood (@christinefromsherwood)

Upper Winkleton was a quiet village. Quaint, even, with orderly hedges framing meticulously landscaped front gardens, and a large village green in the center next to a post office that also served as a grocer's shop and a small cafe.

Indeed, Upper Winkleton was a very lovely village; a veritable garden of Eden in an ever changing and hastening world. However, just like that biblical garden, Upper Winkleton had its dark corner, complete with its own devil.

A house whose front door children didn’t dare approach to ask to get their ball back when it flew over the fence. A garden which was not only not mowed regularly, but overgrown with nettles and thistles and wildflowers, where even grown-ups didn't dare ring the bell and complain about the hornet nests steadily growing under the eves.

"So, what do you think is really up with Old Man Bond?” asked Tom. Only he had just rammed a fistful of peanuts into his mouth so it sounded more like “Uhuh hu hu hmmm hmm huh hmm hrrung?”

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i am screaming with how cute this is ahhh retired but still bamf 00q 

3. A Confession of a Deck by scarytheory (@scarytheory)

James Bond would be lost without me.

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1. you know my name (or you don't) by scarytheory (@scarytheory)

Bond is bantering with Q over the earpiece. The topic is, as usual, the mystery of Q's name.

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ahhhh the ending!!! it’s so cute!!

2. Analogue by endofthyme

James Bond wants to know his Quartermaster's name. So, he asks a second time, in a roundabout spy way.

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ahfaklfh q’s name!1!1!!

3. by any other name by thestalwartheart (@thestalwartheart)

“My name is Pussy Galore.”

Q doesn’t process his honest-to-god spit take until he sees the tea all over his soaked desk.

---

Five times in which James Bond encounters women with absurd names, and one where he finds out a perfectly ordinary one.

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there are some fics on this post and i put a couple more down below

1. you know my name (or you don't) by scarytheory

Bond is bantering with Q over the earpiece. The topic is, as usual, the mystery of Q's name.

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ahhh this one is so cute. i adore the accidental love confession.

2. the queen of spades by magneticwave

Technically Q's name and personal details are classified and beyond the purview of field agents, but he's worked for Q branch for ten years and had gone by his actual name for eight of them. His identity is as much of a "secret" as his ineptitude at filing financial reports.

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ok yes bond may have known q's name in this fic before he gave it, but it's the romance in the moment where he asks for it and q gives it and the trust and the love and ahhhhhh that gets me all the time. ergo, this fic is here.

3. That Which We Call A Rose by CBlue (@corancoranthemagicalman)

James folded his hands over his lap, bowing his head as he gathered his words. “Well, Tanner,” he eased his expression to appear less like the notorious double-oh agent and more like an inquiring mind. Inquisitive was just as dangerous, but only 007’s questions ever seemed to lead to explosions and a body count. “I was wondering if you would help me acquire some information regarding our Quartermaster.”

“Q?” Tanner furrowed his brow. “What in God’s name do you want to stick your nose into, Bond?” He wiped at his face, features already turning red before the conversation revealed its true nature. “That man could have his entire file redacted before you found out his name.”

Grimacing, James forced a chuckle to keep up appearances. “Well, as it so happens, his name is exactly what I’m looking for, Tanner.”

or

5 Times James Bond Asked For Q's Name And 1 Time He Knew It

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1. The Blue-Eyed Baboon: The Daily Mail Exclusive by christinefromsherwood (@christinefromsherwood)

AN EXCLUSIVE LEAK OF A SCALDING HOT NEW NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY

Neighbour Atkinson reveals the Baboon’s shocking secret.

Neighbour Bird showed his anguish in detailing a ghastly encounter with the Baboon.

Neighbour Curry admitted to insomnia due to stress related to the Baboon.

Watch more on A Monkey Business: The Truth About the Blue-Eyed Baboon, A Netflix Documentary! Airs on April 10th, 2020

And James Bond thought him ending up on the news when he blew up that Embassy was bad! Now his name is everywhere and they even made a Netflix documentary about him.

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this is like next level crack and the formatting is just mwah

2. International Man of Mystery by VerdigrisSoup (@verdigrissoup)

“You know there’s a Wikipedia page on you?” “You’re lying.” “It’s an awful security risk, I take the pages down but new ones pop up every week. I guess that’s what happens when you insist on telling people your full name during every bloody mission.” “Are they saying good things about me at least?” “I tell you about your Wikipedia page and the first thing you do is stroke your ego.”

Or the one where one lazy morning Q tells Bond about how he's become a conspiracy theory.

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this is the fic that's almost tailor made to your ask. it's not necessarily outsider pov, but it does feature the conspiracy theory thing. also, this author's fics are always just the cutest.

3. The Devil of Upper Winkleton by christinefromsherwood (@christinefromsherwood)

Upper Winkleton was a quiet village. Quaint, even, with orderly hedges framing meticulously landscaped front gardens, and a large village green in the center next to a post office that also served as a grocer's shop and a small cafe.

Indeed, Upper Winkleton was a very lovely village; a veritable garden of Eden in an ever changing and hastening world. However, just like that biblical garden, Upper Winkleton had its dark corner, complete with its own devil.

A house whose front door children didn’t dare approach to ask to get their ball back when it flew over the fence. A garden which was not only not mowed regularly, but overgrown with nettles and thistles and wildflowers, where even grown-ups didn't dare ring the bell and complain about the hornet nests steadily growing under the eves.

"So, what do you think is really up with Old Man Bond?” asked Tom. Only he had just rammed a fistful of peanuts into his mouth so it sounded more like “Uhuh hu hu hmmm hmm huh hmm hrrung?”

~~~