#oblivious!q

1. come a lily, come a lilac by pdameron (@slverjohn)

“Most people just pick whatever flower they think is prettiest. It doesn’t require a lot of input from me.”

The man walks up to Q, leaning against the counter between them. “Well then, what can I do to get your input?” (In which Q runs a flower shop, and his newest regular is almost definitely a spy.)

~~~

i squealed so hard reading this fic. 10/10 would recommend

2. On the Care and Maintenance of Quartermasters by Tokyo_the_Glaive (@tokyotheglaive)

Q gets sick just as Bond’s about to be shipped to Islamabad. Bond just wants Q to get better (and possibly fall for him).

(Or, the one where Bond decides that the perfect moment to woo Q is when he’s home sick.)

~~~

caring!bond owns my heart fkhlahfdslh

3. Third Valentine’s the Charm by Castillon02 (@castillon02)

The first time, Bond was in Rio from 3 to 16 February, and between him and 003 in Kiev, Q didn’t even think about Valentine’s Day until he was browsing the half-priced chocolate at his local Waitrose.

~~~

okay first of all, your writing is so good and i am so flattered that you are looking at this very very messy blog

1. million dollar question by skylights (@frijae)

Q doesn’t bend for anything and Q certainly doesn’t break for anyone, especially when it comes to stubborn double-ohs intent on making Q’s life hell, so when Q wakes up on a Saturday morning to 12 new texts from Bond and the incessant ringing of his flat’s doorbell, Q makes sure to bring a gun to answer the door.

“Delivery for one…Quabik Quadree?”Q feels the weight of the Glock 19 in the pocket of his dressing gown and sincerely wonders whether to shoot the delivery man or himself.

(or, that fic where everyone wants to know Q’s name and stupid things happen in the process)

~~~

ok i wont lie you might have already read this fic, but it is still too good not to rec.

2. [podfic] Q-Branch Does Not Operate a Phone Sex Line by mothlights

An audio recording of laughtershock's Q-Branch Does Not Operate a Phone Sex Line  Streaming, MP3 & M4B. [00:9:04]

He's four days into a mission in Bangladesh and running from multiple armed men through the streets of Dhaka when Q asks, "What are you wearing?"

~~~

unfortunately the original has been deleted, so i could only find the podfic link for you, but the fic itself is so good, and the audio just brings it to another level.

3. Advances by Tokyo_the_Glaive (@tokyotheglaive)

Of the many, many questions Q had never expected to ask anyone, the one that had just passed his lips was perhaps amongst the most unexpected of them all.

“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

~~~

1. the queen of spades by magneticwave

Technically Q's name and personal details are classified and beyond the purview of field agents, but he's worked for Q branch for ten years and had gone by his actual name for eight of them. His identity is as much of a "secret" as his ineptitude at filing financial reports.

~~~

there is no family reacting to his work in this one, but the sibling dynamics with his sisters are just so well written.

2. Chirps, or the Feline Foes of James W. Bond by midrashic (@midrashic)

James Bond is fluent in English, Spanish, French, German, Portuguese, Arabic, Mandarin Chinese, Japanese, BSL, and, just for fun, Esperanto. He never thought he’d be adding “Cat” to that list.

~~~

i adore q’s mother in this fic. ++ james dealing with feral cats is always funny.

3. Good Names are Forever by Alexis_Tenshi (@tentacletenshi)

James Bond was a code name. He'd been using it long enough that he'd begun to think of himself by the name. But he wasn't particularly attached to it. So when Q demanded to not use the name outside of work, as a condition of them dating, he agreed easily.

Just why Q had issued that requirement sparked his curiosity. But it would take time, and plenty of stubbornness, to find the answer. It would also reveal other surprising revelations regarding the Quartermaster's history.

~~~

1. By Manner, By Measure by ThrillingDetectiveTales

“Oberhauser is still alive,” Q explained, tapping at the keys. “The ring proves it. And it seems they were all part of one organization. Le Chiffre, Quantum, Sciarra, and your friend Mr. Silva.”

Bond’s mouth quirked. “My friend?”

“He certainly isn’t mine,” Q replied. “There was trace DNA from all of them on the ring. And do you know who links them all?” He looked up before Bond could reply and met the other man’s gaze over his shoulder, mouth curling just a little as he prodded, “Go on, give us a guess.”

“Him,” Bond rumbled ominously, voice low and black. Near to Q as he was it would only take a shift of weight from one foot to the other to bring their mouths together.

Madeleine felt herself flush faintly at the realization, but didn’t look away. How very interesting.

~~~

dfshfjdsh i adore looking at their relationship through madeleine’s psych lady pov.

2. The Blue-Eyed Baboon: The Daily Mail Exclusive by christinefromsherwood (@christinefromsherwood)

AN EXCLUSIVE LEAK OF A SCALDING HOT NEW NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY

Neighbour Atkinson reveals the Baboon’s shocking secret.

Neighbour Bird showed his anguish in detailing a ghastly encounter with the Baboon.

Neighbour Curry admitted to insomnia due to stress related to the Baboon.

Watch more on A Monkey Business: The Truth About the Blue-Eyed Baboon, A Netflix Documentary! Airs on April 10th, 2020

                                          –––––––––––––––––––

And James Bond thought him ending up on the news when he blew up that Embassy was bad! Now his name is everywhere and they even made a Netflix documentary about him.

~~~

the neighbours are hilarious and the format it was written in is so clever.

3. Mistletoe by dhampir72 (@dhampir72)

She sits down at her chair, coffee in one hand, folded paper in the other. She is just taking a sip when she opens the paper...and promptly spits her coffee back into the cup.

The paper reads:

James Bond

That can’t be right. It’s impossible. It has to be.

Right?

[For the Secret Santa assignment: "the POV of Q-Branch minion who was the unlucky one to be paired with Bond"]

~~~

1. safe place to land by jaeminz

Q is quite possibly the strangest person Bond's ever met. He's brilliant, reckless, and somehow oblivious to the fact that Bond has been trying (and failing) to ask him out for months.

Or: a college au where Bond hasn't quite mastered his flirting skills yet, Q is always busy, and they smile at each other constantly.

~~~

bond is so soft and so sweet on q in this fic. i adore reading his pining.

2. Nothing Like You and I by Celyan (@melynen)

Wherein Bond takes Q out for lunch on what may or may not be a date.

~~~

bond is such a sweetheart in this and q is charmingly oblivious.

3. Crumbling Is Not An Instant's Act by VerdigrisSoup (@verdigrissoup)

Much to Q's dismay, Medical needs him to start biking to work every day. Much to James Bond's dismay, after being injured during a mission he's temporarily pulled off active duty. When Q's bike gets stolen, Bond takes it as the perfect opportunity to have his own little off-work mission: find the thieves. Not to mention, there's the added bonus of having a little more time around Q.

~~~

1. Lose Your Clothes and Show Your Scars by alby_mangroves, vix_spes (@vix-spes)

In hindsight, Bond knew that he'd made some bad decisions, but it was all his Quartermaster's fault for being so fascinating.

~~~

bond being driven to distraction and carelessness because of q is such a mood.

2. The Very Secret MI6 Massage Parlour by cucumber_of_doom (@cucumber-of-doom)

Q has no time for 007, who has taken to hanging around his branch and being generally annoying, when he has to investigate what is hopefully not a sex-cult surrounding agent 006. It has nothing to do with him having a crush on Bond or the fact that he is bad at acting on his feelings. Really.

~~~

dhfdlkjdfh heartbroken!bond and misunderstandings is such a cute combination.

3. Ob(li)vious by Celyan (@melynen)

Bond brings Q souvenirs from his missions. Q wonders why.

AKA Five times when Q is oblivious, and one time when he gets it.

~~~

1. How Q Hacked Online Dating by JayPendragon

“How does that lead to…?” Eve waves her hand at the mess behind Q’s back. Q feels his expression morph into a sly grin. “I have a new plan. I’m going to stay on these dating platforms, but I’m going to treat them as databases. Rather than waiting for an algorithm to set me up, I'm going to try reverse-engineering this entire system.”

In which Q works in the private sector, still winds up friends with Eve, and applies science to his love life. Obviously, Eve gets involved.

~~~

dfhjkdshkj eve is such a great matchmaker and i love her scheming in this fic.

2. Thoughts Best Left For Darkness by VerdigrisSoup (@verdigrissoup)

James Bond can't sleep anymore, and he doesn't want to. Sleeping means thinking, and thinking means remembering, and remembering is far too painful. Bond's insomnia is beginning to impact MI6, and Moneypenny takes things into her own hands.

~~~

ahhhhh moneypenny the true boss of mi6? yes.

3. No One Thrills Me (Like You Do) by RayShippouUchiha (@rayshippouuchiha)

“Nonsense,” Moneypenny waved a dismissive hand in his direction, “I’ve already got it arranged. Friday, one o’clock. I’ve put it into your schedule and, hopefully, it’ll be a nice, casual lunch date with the possibility of dinner later. I’ll send a car around because I won’t have you late or lost on the Tube.  Again.”

Q thought of protesting, reminded himself of just who he was talking to, and quickly deflated.

“Fine,” he finally grumbled. “But when it ends in disaster I’m free for the rest of the weekend. No meddling allowed for at least a week.”

“Deal.” Moneypenny thankfully agreed.

~~~

today, i present you the master of pining!bond and oblivious!q fics: @tokyotheglaive

1. Portrait of a Young Man by Tokyo_the_Glaive

Medium, Graphite Artist, Unknown

Q's first impression of 007: a prick with a pretty face and an appreciation for art. Q never expected to become entangled with the agent, but when an explosion, a date, and a missing agent brought 007 to Q time again and time again, he began to rethink their relationship. Unbeknownst to him, 007 had already set his eyes on Q, and nothing--not even the mysterious Blofeld--could stop him from keeping Q safe.

(Or, the one where Bond sketches Q at every available opportunity because he's rapidly falling in love, Q's just trying to get by, and no one's looking where they ought to be.)

~~~

the level of pining and misunderstandings in this fic is off the charts.

2. On the Care and Maintenance of Quartermasters by Tokyo_the_Glaive

Q gets sick just as Bond's about to be shipped to Islamabad. Bond just wants Q to get better (and possibly fall for him).

(Or, the one where Bond decides that the perfect moment to woo Q is when he's home sick.)

~~~

a much cuter and fluffier fic to heal your heart :) with healthy servings of pining!bond and whipped!bond and qute!q

3. Advances by Tokyo_the_Glaive

Of the many, many questions Q had never expected to ask anyone, the one that had just passed his lips was perhaps amongst the most unexpected of them all.

“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

~~~

semi-crack but i love it anyways. q is so oblivious even when bond is shoving huge signs of interest in his face

4. Spilled Drinks and Broken Hearts by Tokyo_the_Glaive

In the fallout of the Silva Incident, both Q and Bond bear scars. With no time to mourn or recover, they must carry on as best as they can. Bond and Q must learn to trust and rely on each other if they hope to make it through.

~~~