#bamf!q

You know, on a first glance, it is so very easy to dismiss Q as someone fragile.

He has clinical depression. We see him sad and despondent so very often. We know he tried to kill himself before.  He doesn’t strike you as a fighter. He doesn’t seem like a leader. He isn’t the most powerful. He isn’t the smartest. He doesn’t appear to be the most resourceful. 

And yet.

Three times.

There have been three people who he loves wholeheartedly, who had been turned against him. 

Niffin Alice. Who he didn’t let go of, who he refused to let be banished. Who tormented him. 

Shadeless Julia. Who used him. Who was ready to sacrifice him to Reynard without a second thought.

Monster Eliot. Weeks of trauma, physical and psychological. 

“A monster with his face and his hands.”

Three times.

Three people he truly loved.

And he kept going, kept fighting, kept believing in them. Through all the doubts and fear and pain and tears and heartache. Despite the hopelessness, and the broken brain, and being so god damn fucking tired. 

He did this three times.

-

I have so much time for bamf!Q, I can’t even... hope you enjoy!!! Jen.

-

“Bond, I make guns for a living, of course I can take the shot!”

“But…”

Q was lying on his stomach with a freehand rifle; nowhere near enough room to set up a stand, and also nowhere near enough room to fit Bond in any way or form. As such, Q was the one taking the shot and Bond would not shut up about it.

“Bond, I am a better shot than you,” he said irritably. “You know I am. Shh. Target.”

Bond opened his mouth.

Q took the shot.

“Target hit, kill confirmed, let’s get out of here,” Q said comfortably, leaving Bond to gape.

-

“... okay so I have at least three hostiles in pursuit,” Q said over the earpiece, sounding remarkably cheerful about it. “I’ll have to handle them, hang on.”

“Q, you can’t take on three armed…”

Bond listened to the sounds over the earpiece: a series of bizarrely rhythmical, perfectly executed hits, punctuated with the familiar sounds of people being very effectively beaten up.

“Dispatched. Sorry Bond, you were saying?”

Bond had no words.

-

“Stay down.”

“Why?!”

Q shot him a look of absolute, naked fury, and brandished a pen.

“And what are you planning to do with that?!” Bond hissed, as Q examined it carefully. “Stab them in the neck?!” Q’s eyebrow raised, and in his most patronising voice: “No. If I’m using a pen, it goes through the hollow behind the collarbone in a downward, inward-facing motion, hopefully hitting the heart but if nothing else puncturing the lung with almost unavoidable resulting pneumothorax .”

Bond blinked.

Q clicked the pen three times, grinned, and lobbed it.

The wall collapsed.

“We’d better start running,” Q pointed out helpfully, and led the way.

-

Q lay on Bond’s lap with his laptop in hand, yawning.

“I saw that,” Bond pointed out lightly. “Q, put the laptop down a second.”

There was something in his voice that made Q do as asked; he craned a head around, tilting so he could - admittedly wonkily - see Bond’s face. “… yes?”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

A tilted smile. “Underestimating you,” he said honestly, finger stroking down along the side of his face. “I never mean to, you know.”

an extra long post because i have been on a bamf!q binge

1. the guardian of progress by thestalwartheart (@thestalwartheart)

Bond runs his hand over the lock of the gun case. “It’s the best thing they’ve done in decades, making you Quartermaster of this place.”

-----

A re-imagining of SPECTRE in which Q comes up against the perils of Smart Blood and the workplace politics of being the youngest Quartermaster in history.

~~~

honestly q being a fantastic quartermaster is just mwah. the way he takes on responsibility and looks out for his agents and doesn’t crumble no matter what just makes me feel so much respect and admiration i cannot

2. We're the Smoke Where There's Fire by Only_1_Truth

Q's world gets turned upside-down when MI6 decides that they want to recruit him. As a uniquely powerful magic-user, Q can usually handle himself very well, but will he stand a chance when it's just him against multiple highly-trained MI6 agents tasked to bring him in?

All Q knows is that this is going to end in flames - and that's before another stranger gets thrown into the equation.

~~~

i have no idea how i managed to go this long without reccing this author’s bamf!q fics but ngl each and every au they have features bamf!00q and i am here for it ++ superpowers??? yes???

3. Noster nostri by Only_1_Truth

What if Q didn’t run away - what if he was disowned? What if Q had time to learn glyphs - and applied them to something else? What if instead of becoming a hooker, Q became a Summoner?

(Set in the same AU as Part 1 of this series, "The Magic of Christmas," this story follows the same world-logic - but can be read as a stand-alone.)

~~~

q being a bamf magic man is such a guilty pleasure of mine + demon!bond is chef’s kiss

4. Sleep When We're Dead by Only_1_Truth

Bond has been kidnapped and tortured before, but this is the first time he's been with Q, and they've both taken the fall when a mission went wrong. Caught with no hope of rescue in sight, Bond realizes how terrifying it can be when villains go for the weakest link... and that weakest link isn't you.

~~~

q withstanding torture like a tough cookie is such a yes and bond beating ppl up for hurting q is also such a yes

5. Blue-Eyed Monster by Only_1_Truth

Yes, this version of 007 was a terrifyingly smart agent, and M wondered long and often whether it had been a good idea to promote him to the position. Usually, the title was the dangerous part - being 007 meant deadliness - but this time, M feared that a certain man with ice-blue eyes and scruffy blonde hair had dragged in more danger to the title than it had previously possessed

Enter MI6's new Quartermaster: an unassuming, bespectacled genius with no mind for subterfuge but plenty of genius behind a dry smile. Curious 00-agents and young boffins don't always mix in predictable ways...

~~~

q holding his own against bond!1!1!1!!1!

6. this madness of miracles (escaping the burning wait) by Rosslyn

“Oh shut up,” Q snaps, irate. “Don’t doubt me. I can think of forty-seven ways to fix this, just off the top of my head. Get off the island.”

~~~

oh mercy, i implore by sleeponrooftops (@sleeponrooftops)

Q wonders, briefly, how James could possibly think this is an appropriate time to profess his undying love—or whatever the hell it is he’s attempting to do; though, frankly, the skeleton suit did make him blink a bit stupidly at his laptop—but then something explodes to his left, and Q heaves a long-suffering sigh and snaps at him for ruining everything good in the world. James laughs and carries on wielding his Walther like it isn’t the 7500th replacement that Q has thrown at him.

~~~

this is part of a three part series which all slaps really hard and it's such a must read

2. An Amazement of Love by notoneforreality

Bond is captured, and R watches Q get him out.

Some things start to make sense.

~~~

it's an outsider pov watching q handle bond's extraction with a bit of soulmate au sprinkled in and overall just a cute and short fic

3. Quriosity by dr_girlfriend (@drgrlfriend)

COMPLETE! Bond finds himself increasingly curious about his enigmatic Quartermaster.

Excerpt:

"Your prior hotel is no longer secure, I will direct you to a new location. Your luggage has already been transferred. A field agent and medic from the Diréction Générale de la Sécurité d'État will be waiting at the side entrance. I have cleared them both personally." In contrast to his crisp dry English, Q's pronunciation of the French words was fluid and flawless, the throaty tone of the fricatives sending a surprising jolt of awareness straight to Bond's cock — all the more remarkable given his degree of blood loss.

"You're wasted on Q-branch, you have the voice for a phone-sex call-in line." The words slipped out of Bond's mouth without forethought, although he had plenty of time to think in the sudden pause that came afterward and stretched on for endless moments. Bond hadn't realized until now how Q was always there, with an immediate reply. In all their banter Q had never before been at a loss for words. Ever.

~~~

Harry Potter and the Fucking Audacity by Anyawen, AtoTheBean

An offended hacker dishes up Karmic justice to an outspoken transphobe on Twitter. MI6 and the rest of the world react. ::popcorn::

~~~

this fic slaps and i laughed really hard at points

2. some guys just can't hold their arsenic by pdameron (@slverjohn)

“Motherfucking - goddamn - fucking shit!”

“Good lord, Q,” Bond says from behind him with no small amount of amusement. “One would think you’d never been in a quarantine before.”

~~~

this fic is the best blend of everything - humor, light angst, emotional complexity *chef's kiss*

3. The Highland Holiday Set-Up by samanthahirr (@samanthahirr)

Bond and Q have been making moony eyes at one another all year but are apparently too stubborn to do anything about it. On Christmas Eve, the staff of MI6 conspire to dispatch the pair on a fake mission to a romantic Highland lodge. If the magic of the holiday resort isn't enough to bring the two lovebirds together, MI6's schemes and machinations will see the job done. It's for their own good.

~~~

ahhh thank you for your kind words !!! here they are ~~

1. The One Who Made Him Stay by JayPendragon

Twenty-one days after the Double-oh programme is reinstated, James Bond returns to MI6 with his Aston Martin and without Dr Swann. This is only the beginning of Q's problems.

A Spectre Fix-It. COMPLETE.

~~~

this is basically 60k of bamf!q and do we like it? yes.

2. oh mercy, i implore by sleeponrooftops (@sleeponrooftops)

Q wonders, briefly, how James could possibly think this is an appropriate time to profess his undying love—or whatever the hell it is he’s attempting to do; though, frankly, the skeleton suit did make him blink a bit stupidly at his laptop—but then something explodes to his left, and Q heaves a long-suffering sigh and snaps at him for ruining everything good in the world. James laughs and carries on wielding his Walther like it isn’t the 7500th replacement that Q has thrown at him.

~~~

and i cannot stress enough how good this series is. there are two other fics after this and they are both just so good. there is no such thing as a saggy middle for this author.

3. Lay It Down by dhampir72 (@dhampir72)

Bond and Q agreed: their relationship was nothing more than physical. Until it suddenly isn't.

(Or alternatively: The one in which Q gets sick, Bond takes care of him, and the truth comes out.)

2/10/2014: Now available in French courtesy of the wonderful Belle Pimprenelle!

~~~

i will probably never shut up about this fic or this author because honestly their characterisation of bond is just so on point. that scene where he's just freaking out is just *chef's kiss*

Bonus: Very Much Wanted by ShadyQuiet

James and Q have been mated for over a year, they've stopped trying to avoid pregnancy, and now the Quartermaster finds himself expecting... James is overprotective, Q is in over his head, and both are just a little bit over the moon. Of course, they don't train SIS agents in pregnant omega care, or child care for that matter... Or meeting your mate's more than slightly unhinged family. Neither do they train Quartermaster's in juggling pregnancy symptoms with work, protective lovers, and growing your own life form.

~~~

1. We Are Made In The Eyes Of Those Who Love Us by deadicateddeath 

Gareth Mallory, M the fourteenth (or M XIV, if one was feeling theatrical), did not seem nearly surprised enough that Bond was in his presence, and looked rather cross that his punctuality issues had not been resolved. A strange opinion to hold for someone who was very, very, very dead this time.

~~~

i know what the blurb says, but trust me, there is a very good happy ending in this one. in the tag’s wise words “gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day”.

2. Trust is a Form of Love by Alexis_Tenshi (@tentacletenshi)

How did Madeleine Swann hide a child from MI6’s watchful eyes for five years?

She didn’t have one.

Then James Bond returned, and Swann found herself in need of a tool to motivate him to trust her again. What better way than giving him a daughter?

~~~

i adore the premise of this one, and i was absolutely hooked on it.

3. this madness of miracles (escaping the burning wait) by Rosslyn 

“Oh shut up,” Q snaps, irate. “Don’t doubt me. I can think of forty-seven ways to fix this, just off the top of my head. Get off the island.”

~~~