#entry 20

Looker

FFxivWrite 2021 Prompt #20: Petrichor The season had provided an unusually hot, dry few moons for the Black Shroud. The oppressive heat of summer had finally somewhat abated for a brief reprieve of rain. The fleeting showers had quickly ceased, giving way immediately to more sunshine. X’unmei strolled through the field of weeds and wildflowers, paying no mind to the raindrops still clinging to the plants, moisture falling off to coat her boots and legs, soaking into her the hem of her skirt as her fingertips brushed over the damp plants she strolled past. The sunlight glistened off the droplets of water coating everything, and all was silent save for the chirps of birds and insects. The world was quiet and bright, the scent of earth and green filling the humid air. She always liked the world most when it rained. @which-can-eternal-lie​

Day 52, didn’t write down yesterday because I snuck over to Jessie’s apartment. Don’t know how I snuck in, with the stairs up there bending under my weight. And oh man was she surprised by me popping inside. She’s about as high as my hips now, which she’s pretty jealous of, since they’re like 2 feet across. She got mad because she dropped her phone and I didn’t let her pick it up. Pinned her to the ground with a foot and took a big chunk of ham out of her fridge and ate it. That really hit the spot. I said goodbye and snuck out. Someone almost saw me, but they just heard me crashing down the stairs. I broke a few of the steps on my way out. That hurt.

Upon the table, an apple pie. To the right, a man with a knife To his left, the charming fiancée. With surgical precision he cuts the pie, dividing it. A slice for her, a slice for him. But wait, there is another. More apple pie to give. The knife is taken and has a new will to guide it. The pie is cut down the middle like the one before it. Two slices of pie. One given to a Carbuncle. The other, to a Wolf. No more pie. @darkamaya

I miss the chubby stubborn girl I used to be. She was young but she was braver than I am now. She was stronger and nothing could bother her- or she didn’t let them anyways. Even her own problems were afraid of her. Yeah she had issues. And learnt to mold herself into a better person. Into someone who is happier and carefree. But I think she let go too much of herself. And now there’s me. Me who forgot how it was to fight back all that was thrown at her. Forgot how to tackle and throw out all that she felt. Remembering only to cry and feel helpless. Of course even she had times where she felt like giving up but she was fiercer and bolder than I am now. I kind of wish I had that old part of me back. So all the discomfort and struggles that I am going through now- she could crush under her foot. So everything would seem smaller. So all my problems would feel like dust on my shoulders that I could brush away and continue my day with brighter thoughts. So now I’m trying to bring that old girl back. The girl I felt ashamed of because of the way she used to be. I shouldn’t have thrown her out completely. She was a part of me that I needed. I’m welcoming her back now. I’m going to let her face my problems and tell them that they are nothing and I can live my life exactly how I want without them holding me down. And that’s that. 01/20/2018