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you can’t separate transmisogyny from racism. the radical feminism movement is so overwhelmingly white because their idea of what a woman is is so thoroughly steeped in white supremacy.
i think most people accept the idea of "you don't control who you're attracted to" in terms of being gay but imo it can go further. like if you're not attracted to men, but you happen to find a transmasc person attractive, i dont think thats inherently transphobic if you acknoweldge that your attraction is incongruent with their identity. you dont need to run yourself in circles creating qualifiers for your sexuality when we live in a world of infinite gender identites. it's not like you have an inbuilt radar that tells you whether that hot stranger at the bar is a woman or not. man who kissed a twink that turned out to be a butch lesbian that thought he was a butch lesbian. etc.
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do think when people say "we know marriage is a social construct, but it's a legal way to be able to take care of someone else and vice versa" as if those of us making a point about marriage (i would say, a lot of us being aromantic people especially) don't know this fact, are missing a bit of the point about why this is stressed and potentially not giving enough grace to (again especially aromantic) people who say this.
when it's framed as a "so just get married for legality reasons" and im like. you mean like how gay people married/marry people of the opposite gender for legality reasons? and that's considered to be a symptom of a problem, not the solution? you want people to "just" get married against their will because it's the only solution this system has available?
if people cannot or will not get married for whatever reason -- not just for being aromantic, but, say, due to inefficient disability support measures within marriage, because of having had bad experiences with marriage in the past, because of being polyamorous, because some element of marriage is ineffective, unwanted, limited, discriminatory, or hell, because you can't find somebody to marry or nobody wants to marry you, or maybe because you just plain don't want to without there being a distinct Reason -- then it's a problem that this is the only framework in place for people to be afforded certain legal and social protections.
i am glad for others that more people can get married, but it's a flawed institution with gaping holes that isn't for everyone and builds social structures that leave so many people behind and unsupported. this is abundantly obvious in the way that we saw why people pushed for the need for equal marriage in the first place.
that's what's said when making a point that it's a social construct. and also what's meant (partially) when pushing against the idea that "love" as concept isn't at the core of queer (amongst others hinted at in this post) activism, because it's about building better structures. if the only people we care about are those we "love" within a family unit, or those who successfully manage to pretend that unit without actually really wanting it, and if not being in that unit for whatever reason means that care isn't going to be/is no longer afforded, then are we really doing any better than heteronormativity?
more people need to read up on "amatonormativity" from the original source (this is a summary from the same person written in 2012 and so doesn't include aromantic, but it's all in there) before they start pushing marriage as the ultimate goal of queer liberation, or indeed any liberation.
there seems to be just a huge niche of people online that really need/would greatly benefit from the framework of plurality but are afraid to claim it. which i understand because me too i doubt it for myself a lot. but i think there are a lot of us who don't really meet the criteria for DID or OSDD yet would still benefit from viewing ourselves as actually multiple selves. and perhaps a substantial number of us will later find out they meet the criteria for a diagnosis about it but i think we need to be less caught up on "do i meet this criteria" and instead focus on "what will be helpful to me". which may include resources for people with DID/OSDD, or may not.
i keep seeing ppl being like "just get an id, what's the big deal?" about the potential voter registration restrictions, and let me tell you a story i am actively dealing with
i work with unhoused people fleeing domestic violence, and i have a client rn whose driver's license expired in 2024, and she needs a new id to apply for apartments. ok, cool. problem is, she lost all her documents due to the domestic violence
so we call the dmv. dmv needs a birth certificate. like i said, she lost her birth certificate. she needs a new one. her birth certificate is from out of state
we look up how to get a new birth certificate. the birth certificate needs an id to order it. cool cool cool
ok then what about secondary options? well, she needs two secondary sources of identification to order a replacement birth certificate, and she only has one, because for everything else she needs an id. fishing license? need an id. fucking park pass? id. she could have her 18+ child use their birth certificate to vouch for her, except her abuser won't let her talk to her children, so that's a no go
ultimately we land on social security card. this is where we're at in the process rn. ofc she doesn't have her ss card, so we need to order that. social security also requires an id to request a new card, but they'll take a health insurance card with a picture attached (god fucking bless them). she has medicaid but doesn't have a physical copy of the card, so we have to figure out how to get that. then once we do that we have to upload it to the social security website, and if that doesn't work, we have to, god forbid, call the social security office (takes literal hours) and then make an appointment. she doesn't have transportation or cell service, so we would have to figure out a way to coordinate me getting her to the appointment in order to present the document
then we wait 10+ days for the replacement, that has to be mailed to me bc she is unhoused and doesn't have an address
then we need to submit her request for a new birth certificate, which we have to figure out how to pay for, bc it is not free. they're at least a month behind on requests, btw, so we are probably looking at may at the earliest for that to arrive
then we need to take the birth certificate to the dmv
dmv also requires two pieces of mail not from a po box. she doesn't have an address, she is unhoused. she can use the homeless shelter in town, but we will need to mail her stuff there and have her receive it first, and also then the homeless shelter address will now be on her new id, which landlords will recognize and may discriminate against her for
during all of this she is sleeping in a garage. it was negative one degrees this morning. also, forgot to mention, she is terminally ill. some days i legitimately don't know if she lived through the night. every day is a toss up
the absolute soonest she will have an id is probably late may. forget voter registration--most rentals won't let her apply without it. she won't be offered section 8 housing without it. she can't apply for ssdi without it. she is blocked at literally every corner without it, and the absolute soonest she can get it is late may. the dmv literally has her old card on file, and she knows the number by heart, but it doesn't matter. it doesn't count if it's expired, as if she's somehow become someone new
and that's all with the help of someone whose job it is to do this shit. imagine if she didn't have a caseworker. she has a ten year old donated iphone that only works on wifi, she can't even do her own research bc she doesn't have internet half the time. how the hell is she supposed to get anything done on her own?
so yeah, fuck you if you think requiring an id isn't voter discrimination. "just get an id" is privileged af thinking and it infuriates me every time i hear it. lawmakers know exactly what they're doing with that restriction, and it's absolute bullshit
"Unhoused people can use their local homeless shelter as an address" infuriates me because:
Not every community even has a homeless shelter (the county where I work does not).
Not every homeless shelter accepts all unhoused people accepts all unhoused people-- for example, most shelters are gender-specific and do not accept any trans or nonbinary people.
The main shelter in the town where I live REQUIRES AN ID. If you don't have an ID, you can't go there and use their address to apply for an ID, now can you?
That same shelter also doesn't allow certain disabled people -- I don't mean they aren't accessible (although they're also not that), I mean as a matter of policy, they explicitly bar people with certain disability diagnoses from going there. "That's illegal!" Yes, it is. What disabled person who can't afford housing can afford a lawyer to take them to court over it?
Even if they can write down the shelter address as their address, how will they actually get mail, including getting their ID, birth certificate, etc. in the mail? Best case scenario, the shelter will hold it for them for long enough for them to get a ride and go there and pick it up.
Every step of this process -- applying for a birth certificate, ID card, social security card, everything-- has a fee attached. That fee could be the difference between the person eating or not.
And that's if they're applying in person and paying cash. If they're applying online, they need a bank account or a credit card or a usurious "financial service" card.
All this presumes they have access to a computer, can use it proficiently, can read and write English proficiently, can specifically read and write English legalese proficiently....
you have to remember jow special it is that when a black cat loves the sunbeams so much , its fur will get more colours because ghe sun loves it back . you cant let yourself forget
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She was an American in a fanfic written by someone British; I was a Brit in a fanfic written by someone American. She came to me and said "will you help me with my maths? I need to get a good grade to stay on the American football team"; I told her "I'll bloody well help you parse math".
had a dream that I was arguing with someone who insisted that kissing could be platonic but ONLY within a very specific mathematical range of angles and percentages of lip contact. like a level of granularity you'd need a protractor to figure out. this wasn't about personal comfort, it was a universal law. and I was getting really mad and eventually yelled "TONGUE can be platonic!!" and now I understand how ancient philosophers felt when they had revelations of truth revealed to them in a dream
one thing abt me is that I can't recognize veneers and I can't tell when someone's hair is a wig and I can't clock fake accents even when they're done pretty badly and I'm also bad with faces. all that to say I would be insanely vulnerable to hijinks/capers
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a lot of people think being female and/or a woman gives you an inherent understanding of feminism and naturally a good feminist but there is no innate female knowledge, there is only learning from your lived experience, and just as importantly, learning feminist history and reading feminist theory. your gender or assigned sex do not grant you mystical female knowledge. you are a scholar of feminist theory and history, or you aren't. something something ursula le guin.
oh and also, if you aren't reading any feminist theory written before 2019, you aren't reading enough feminist theory. Simone de Beauvoir, Angela Davis, Shulamith Firestone, Kate Bornstein, Kimberlé Crenshaw, bell hooks, Engels (not specifically feminist but extremely relevant), Audrey Lorde, Alexandra Kollontai, Silvia Federici
More recently Sophie Lewis, Judith Butler, Julia Serano, Mikki Kendall, Kristen Ghodsee, Juno Mac and Molly Smith, Emi Koyama
It's even worth reading some of the "bad feminists" to see how their influence shaped modern feminism and discourse around feminism today. Dworkin's influence on modern feminism was largely bad and pushed the movement politically right, but you can't fully appreciate that and understand the context unless you actually read some of her work.
If you're not doing this, you will be misled and harmed, as bell hooks often said, by women who are aligned with patriarchy and seek to uphold patriarchy at your expense.
Friedrich Engels, The Origin of The Family Private Property And The State
Kate Bornstein, Gender Outlaws
Sophie Lewis, Enemy Feminisms
Juno Mac and Molly Smith, Revolting Prostitutes
and not in the images, but I'm now including:
Jack Halberstam, Female Masculinity
Mary Wollstonecraft, A Vindication of the Rights of Woman (this is kind of the OG feminist text)
None of these texts of authors are perfect, which is why it's important to read a LOT of feminist theory, because people all propose different things and it's important to absorb a whole hell of a lot of it, because when people say "that's just feminism 101" they never seem to have any idea what the hell they're talking about. similar to people who say "that's just basic biology"
Transphobia is being signed into law in the UK. Let's fight it together.
I am begging the UK trans community and its allies to attend the rescheduled Mass Lobby at Parliament, now on Wed Sept 9th, 1pm-5pm, organised by Trans Solidarity Alliance.
The law around trans equality is fundamentally broken. Government inaction is hanging trans people and organisations out to dry - with a con
The new EHRC Code of Practice pushes trans people out of toilets, hospital wards, and community spaces. It normalises gender policing based on appearance and stereotypes. It became statutory guidance in the UK on August 5th, 2026.
Trans people are now legally their assigned gender at birth and must join gendered spaces accordingly, but if they are perceived as their lived gender, they can also be ejected from those spaces. The guidance says: either break the law, or don’t pass too well.
A mass lobby is where you invite your MP to discuss your concerns with you in-person. Our demands have changed. Ask your MP to:
Write to Ministers and Prime Minister Andy Burnham to say they are profoundly concerned by the rolling back of trans rights, and that they believe that it is time for Parliament to legislate to protect equality for trans people.
Ask parliamentary questions focused on protecting trans people’s rights and defending trans people’s abilities to live safe and dignified lives.
Speak up both inside and outside Parliament in defence of trans people’s rights.
Meet regularly with trans constituents to understand their lived realities.
Your MP does not have to be an ally, they do not have to respond to your email for you to show up and greencard them (details below the cut.) What matters is that as many people as possible show up.
I cannot stress this enough: Showing up in person matters. It is much more effective than petitions, emails, and letters.
We have already had some wins because we took action. The 2026 EHRC guidance has already rolled back its most harmful elements because of mass campaigning by individuals like us, and groups like The Good Law Project. This summer, 166 MPs signed the Early Day Motion 240 to reject the EHRC Code of Practice, because of our campaigning. That is 1 in 4 MPs.
It is a horrible, stressful time, and I am so sorry if you're trans and live in the UK. But I was at last year's mass lobby and the line for greencarding alone stretched around the back gates. It was a record breaking mass lobby and made us impossible to ignore. Let's do even better this time. Details under the cut:
Worried about what to say?
Bring your personal worries about transphobia being signed into law, and trans friends being excluded from public spaces. You are a living person who deserves dignity. Remind your MP of that. On the day, you'll get guidance and brochures from Trans Solidarity Alliance that outlines our demands. This is mine from last year.
Here is an online briefing for lobbyists (10 mins read for essential info, 20 mins for details)
Money issues?
Trans Solidarity Alliance provides a travel bursary that you can sign up for via the link.
Got a refusal or no response from your MP?
Come anyway! You can request a same-day appointment with your MP through a process called greencarding. They will come and see you if they’re already in Parliament. Even if they don’t, they’re made acutely aware of your cause because you showed up in person. This is my greencard from last year.
Here is the EHRC Code of Practice in full. It's a tough read, but some highlights are:
Organisations can’t provide trans-inclusive, single-sex services, or they risk being sued for discrimination. e.g. domestic violence support for women including trans women, men’s rugby group including trans men (12.68).
Trans people will have nowhere safe to pee. If you’re a trans man, businesses can't allow you to pee in the men's, and you can also be ejected from women’s bathrooms if you’re perceived as a man. Vice versa for trans women. EHRC suggests a ‘third space’ bathroom, which is discriminatory and unworkable for most businesses. (13.130-133)
Sports organisations must exclude trans people from single-sex competitions (13.73). A women’s only sports competition must exclude trans women because of their biological advantage or face potential lawsuits (13.74), but a trans man who has undergone testosterone treatment can also be excluded based on fairness rules (13.81).
Trans women are stripped of the legal definition of ‘lesbian’, and therefore no longer have legal protections if they’re discriminated against on the basis of sexual orientation. (2.50, 2.92).
Here is the Good Law Project's better explanation of the EHRC Code.
Sign up for the mass lobby and email your MP here, or click the main link above.
If you are not in the UK but want to support the case, please donate to The Good Law Project.
Save the date and book off work!! I will see you there :))
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