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Weird

Uncomfortable

I really dislike posts like these. Childhood is its own form of oppression. "Child appropriate" activities are just as much a type of oppression as enforced femininity. And many girls who lean into imitating adult women are doing it to escape childhood.

You want a 11 year old girl to play with toys. But do you want her educating herself about oppression? Do you want to listen to her about the intersection of oppressed gender and oppressed age? Do you want her to vent her frustrations by making art with distressing "mature" topics? Do you want her in your favorite bookstore, in your favorite cafe, on your favorite band's concert, as a fellow visitor and passerby?

anon, hold my hand and listen to my words. how I personally feel about it isn't going to change whether or not people do it.

if we're using the concept of drinking cream as an example, I'd like to first point out that how it may affect someone's health is relative to the amount of frequency/capacity at which they're doing it, as well as what their other daily habits, limits, and specific needs are. would chugging cream every day generally be more risky than chugging cream once a month? for most people, yes. would a person who drinks cream every day on top of eating balanced and nutritious meals and also engages in regular exercise be putting themselves at more risk than someone who drinks cream once a month but has a sensitivity to dairy? not necessarily.

would I recommend it? no. do I have a say in what other people do with their bodies? also no. some people are going to behave in risky behavior whether we like it or not. there are folks out there who are dead set on engaging in bloodplay because it's their kink. telling people that it is wrong to do bloodplay isn't going to stop bloodplayers from finding each other and engaging in their kinks, it's just going to shame them into being secretive about it (which is more dangerous), when instead, they could be learning how to do it with the least risk possible: where is the safest place to open the skin, how to sterilize the tool, use disinfectant, and treat the wound properly, etc. this is called harm reduction. in kink, it's called RACK (risk-aware consensual kink).

most people who are drinking cream aren't sitting around and going, "hmm, I suddenly have a passive urge to drink cream, but I have no clue whether or not that would be a good idea for me." they aren't looking for a second opinion that could sway them one way or another. generally, people who take these risks know that it wouldn't be a good idea unless it felt important to them, have (HOPEFULLY) already weighed the risks from a grounded headspace, and made their mind up about how they want to engage in their kink.

if you're concerned about a friend's behavior, you can always start a respectful conversation. here are some ways you can check in: have they given this decision a lot of thought? is this something that feels within their control? are they distressed by the behavior or its effects in any way? if so, ask what you can do to support them.

because I'm outspoken about feedism on this blog, I often get asks from people who are toying with the idea of engaging in the kink, asking me whether they should start gaining, or how they should go about it. I never answer these questions. I am not a healthcare professional. I cannot tell you what the healthiest thing to do for your body is, but it's probably not feedism. I also do not live inside your head. I can't decide when something that may be physically risky could benefit your life and overall happiness - extreme rock climbers put their bodies in danger every single day because it's their life's passion. if you're really struggling with this, you would likely benefit from reaching out to a sex therapist and working through your concerns before making a decision. I will say that, in my opinion, the most important aspect of harm reduction when it comes to kinks centered around food/exercise/body modification is to regularly check in with your medical team, and if you're able to, a nutritionist. I know that it's not easy, but being transparent with your healthcare providers about your lifestyle will be the biggest thing to help you manage and reduce your risks. it's uncomfortable, it might be met with judgement, but that's something that I would hope any gainer thoroughly considers before deciding to commit to a major lifestyle change.

it is the responsibility of you, the individual adult, to educate yourself on the risks and take some time to seriously consider whether or not it's worth it to you. I can help you explore your options to the best of my ability (though be aware that I am not a professional), but only you can give yourself permission to choose what happens next. I've been thinking more about what I want to do with this blog, and I've discovered that my biggest goal is to present information without judgement or expectation.

on the off chance that you weren't asking my opinion about what people should or shouldn't do and were asking me about my own sexual preferences, well, I'll answer that under the cut.