#emirates

Background & Rules (Baseball in Apothecary Diaries)

In this slightly different alternate universe, travelers from a western country brought baseball to Li sometime before the events of the first volume. Linese citizens saw these foreigners playing a game with a bat and a ball, and they were oddly intrigued. The game unexpectedly caught on among commoners in Li's western towns and villages. It didn't reach the capital and become integrated into the country's culture until one day, the current Emperor (during his first year, about five years before Vol. 1) saw a demonstration and thought, "This looks fun."

It all snowballed from there. In the five years before the series' first volume, government officials, palace servants, and guards played the game in their free time. Playing fields were set up across the capital, including the rear palace. As noble families and named clans caught on, the Chu clan (known for hosting the Meeting of the Named) began adopting ball games as part of their social events.

About three years before the first volume, a special annual Spring festival began that included ceremonial ball games with military officers, soldiers, and civil officials all playing against each other. The Emperor and his high consorts would be present for the opening ceremony and all games. Even beyond the Spring festival, ceremonial ball games became a part of various other special events.

At this stage, the Emperor and high consorts have not done ceremonial first pitches yet, but the idea of first pitches have already taken root with military officials and a few eager mid-ranking consorts all volunteering to start a game off with a pitch.

The first time a high consort took the ceremonial first pitch was at the garden party in Volume 2, which (in this universe) featured a ceremonial ball game. After the military official initially set up to do it was injured, Pure Consort Ah-Duo offered to take the mound and impressed everyone with a blazing strike (as you'll see later). Immediately afterward, Precious Consort Gyokuyou told her head lady-in-waiting Hongniang (to her dismay) that she wanted to try that too someday, and even Wise Consort Lihua entertained the idea, starting a tradition of high consorts also gearing up to do first pitches.

The new Pure Consort Loulan and the Virtuous Consort Lishu each got to do one sometime afterward. Later, at an event meant to celebrate Gyokuyou becoming Empress (shortly after the fall of the Shi clan), the Emperor got to throw his first ever ceremonial first pitch. And finally, the Moon Prince took the mound at last after he returned from his first trip to the Western capital.

Setup Notes

This post will cover these historic first pitches, ordered from worst to best. Real-life celebrity references are included so you can see what their throw would look like, using GIFs for your convenience. I'm not saying their pitches will look exactly like the reference celeb, but they should provide a good idea of the overall motion, technique, attitude, and in some cases, the narrative circumstances surrounding the throw. These reference celebs were matched to the characters for their pitches, not for the celebs themselves. The only things that matter are the pitch, the pitch's story, and any context that's directly relevant to understanding it.

Also, when I say "worst to best," I'm not evaluating them solely on speed and whether or not it's a strike, but also cleanliness and how exciting the narrative context surrounding each pitch is (narrative is actually a really important factor in determining how each pitch goes, as you are going to discover). For this post, I'm using a more relaxed definition of a strike since these are ceremonial first pitches. Horizontally, a normal strike zone is centered over home plate, but for this post, the pitch only needs to pass between the white lines marking the batter's boxes, as shown below:

One more thing I should mention is that someone's technique is far more important than their strength in achieving a good first pitch. All of these characters could realistically attempt training on their technique, even if their athletic abilities haven't been proven. Baseline athletic abilities and feats certainly do help with these predictions, but they're not everything. None of these pitches—not even the Top 3—are professional baseball fast (i.e. >90 mph) because most ceremonial pitches never reach that speed, but the best of these are still fast and highly respectable.

Enough talk, let's play ball.

7. Lishu - Carly Rae Jepsen (2013)

Is it a strike? - No Does she have fun? - No

Yeah, I think the awfulness of this pitch speaks for itself. Look, I love my girls Lishu and Carly Rae Jepsen, I really do, but let's be honest: Lishu's gonna pull a Carly Rae Jepsen.

Lishu's time as a consort is unfortunately rife with embarrassment, looking pathetic, and feeling out of place. Narratively speaking, Lishu throwing the worst first pitch attempted by anybody in Li fits her character depressingly well. She doesn't want to do it, but it's become a tradition after all the other consorts have done it. Her ladies-in-waiting (other than Kanan) think this would be a great way to embarrass her again without having blood on their hands, so they subtly pressure her and she reluctantly agrees.

It's not like she doesn't try! She practices her technique with Kanan (the only person willing and able to help her), and she's halfway decent. But when she steps up to the mound surrounded by a crowd, the nerves will get to her. She's going to be surprised by the mound's downward slope, and she's gonna pitch that ball like she's trying (and still failing) to hit a mole in the ground. Kanan will look away in shame, her other ladies-in-waiting will try to suppress their laughs, and the audience will give hesitant sympathy applause. Everyone's going to pity the Virtuous Consort more than they already did. Due to the historical era Lishu's in, she won't get to playfully shake it off like our girl Carly (who did have some fun).

Major LN Spoilers Ahead for Lishu's Arc

Look, if it's any consolation, if she threw a pitch sometime in the LN16 period (after she became a nun and built some muscle with her farm work at Red Plum Village), I genuinely believe she'd have the discipline and spirit to hone her technique and pull a solid strike like Sister Mary Sobieck here:

Seriously, Sister Mary was blessed by the Lord that day, and Lishu will be, too! Some of the nuns she befriended could even be there to cheer her on. Unfortunately, though, by the time she's capable of a throw like that, she'll no longer be a high consort and would have little reason to do a ceremonial first pitch. However, if she really wants to, she can try proving herself by asking to do a first pitch at a ceremonial event. The Emperor sees her as a daughter, so he'd let her, although not without making sure she really has what it takes. Both His Majesty and Basen don't want to see Lishu humiliating herself again.

Even if she doesn't do that, though, what we've seen of her from LN10-16 proves that she's already built up the mental strength to overcome her former embarrassments. In this alternate universe, the Carly Rae-tier first pitch will be nothing but a distant memory for her as she embraces her new family in the Ma clan.

P.S. I love my girl Carly's music too much not to end this without mentioning she's got a new album out in September 2026 (called 'Day and Night') and the lead single ("On Wires") slaps!!! Forget her terrible first pitch and listen to that instead!!! Thanks.

6. Lihua - Barack Obama (2010)

Is it a strike? - No Does she have fun? - Sorta

Barack Obama's first pitch in 2010 wasn't terrible, but it wasn't a strike, either. It sailed a little too high, and sadly, I can see Lihua doing something similar.

Gyokuyou, who was the first to pitch after Ah-Duo, saw the ceremonial first pitch as a fun, exciting thing, and she was more relaxed about it (as you'll see in the next writeup). Lihua would see it in a similar way at first, but as she practices, the need to "succeed" will get into her head. Her pitch takes place sometime before Lishu's, so she hasn't witnessed the tragedy of a massive fumble yet, but following Gyokuyou's solid pitch, she'll want to pull off a similar feat. Not for vanity or ego reasons, of course, but out of respect for the sport and the previous consorts' throws.

Lihua doesn't want to burden her ladies-in-waiting with such a frivolous thing, so she'll hone her technique the best she can with a male coach. Said male coach has to be a eunuch, and supposed eunuchs Gaoshun and Jinshi are busy, so she finds someone who does a decent enough job but not the greatest given the people who work the rear palace (you've seen the quack doctor, for instance).

When it comes to the day of the pitch, she'll overthink it. She'll consciously run through every step of the motions she practiced, and her body won't move naturally. It'll be a little stiff, she'll release it a touch late, and she'll pull an Obama, going too high, too far out, and even moving a little slower than she wanted. Not a strike, I'm afraid, but the catcher still got it at least.

If it's any consolation, baseball is still pretty young in Li. Obama received a mix of cheers and boos, but he had the weight of A. almost two centuries of baseball history, B. being President, and C. being a White Sox fan. But a pitch like that isn't too bad in such an early era of baseball like the one we're imagining here; even Ah-Duo's heater was more of an anomaly in the grand scheme of things. There'll be cheers and a more relaxed atmosphere, and Lihua will lighten up and have some fun as she watches the following game.

In the end, Lihua will take it all gracefully, Gyokuyou will not gloat at all, and nobody's gonna boo Lihua or consider it a Lishu-level embarrassment. A few people who don't like Lihua might murmur it was underwhelming, but it will be a minority. It'll be a forgotten part of her history as a high consort, in roughly the same way Obama's pitch wasn't a noteworthy part of his time as president.

5. Gyokuyou - Emirates Flight Attendant (2016)

Is it a strike? - No (but it's solid) Does she have fun? - Yes

The Emirates flight attendant's pitch was "juuust a bit outside" of the relaxed zone, meaning it wasn't technically a strike. However, it was still genuinely a solid, high-velocity pitch with great form and technique, and most people would call it a strike by ceremonial pitch standards. The audience cheered, internet commenters universally praised the pitch, and her fellow cabin crew were all celebrating and having fun with her, as seen in the GIF above. Given the lighthearted attitude of the Jade Pavilion, a very similar thing will happen to Gyokuyou.

As established earlier, Gyokuyou (who isn't yet Empress) was inspired to try this out when she saw Ah-Duo's phenomenal pitch, making her the second high consort to try it out. Hongniang was reluctant to have her master do something that could risk public embarrassment, but Gyokuyou insisted. Gyokuyou takes this first pitch thing seriously, but not so seriously that it ever messes with her head. She has a lot of fun doing practice sessions with Hongniang and her ladies-in-waiting to the very end. Yinghua, Ailan, and Guiyuan certainly enjoy it, too! Maomao wanders over to watch a couple sessions. She wonders what the point is, but she doesn't mind seeing them have fun. They force her to learn about the game and care a little bit.

When the day comes, Gyokuyou won't try to imitate Ah-Duo's heater. She'll be relaxed and see it all as a fun game, and she'll deliver a simple, strong, fast pitch that impresses the crowd. Yinghua, Ailan, and Guiyuan will go wild and cheer. Maomao will silently observe that it wasn't technically a strike, but she'll learn it doesn't really matter, especially because it still looked awesome. She'll simply nod and clap.

Hongniang, the only person who was actually nervous, will go "phew" in enormous relief as her girls celebrate around her.

P.S. I replayed the flight attendant's first pitch video so much just to decide whether it was a strike, and I ultimately ruled "no." It's definitely not a strike by normal home plate standards, and by this post's more relaxed boundaries it looks just outside. The problem is I couldn't find a better camera angle, so I had to be the umpire and use my own judgment. That said, the point of this section isn't whether or not the reference pitch was technically a strike. The girls had fun regardless and people thought it was cool (me included), and even if it was a strike, it'd still be #5 with this section's spirit mostly preserved.

4. Jinshi - Bill Clinton (1996)

Is it a strike? - Yes (Solid) Does he have fun? - No

Though he reportedly didn't realize it at the time, in 1993, Bill Clinton was actually the first president to successfully pitch all the way from the mound (the full ~60 feet) instead of the grass in front of it (many succeeded before, but they didn't do it from the mound). He ended up repeating the same feat in 1994 and 1996. This one from '96 was a bit high, but still a solid pitch. According to Clinton, he practiced for a week in the White House backyard for this one to make sure he didn't bounce the ball. Jinshi will have a similar story, although he won't be the first to do it from the mound now.

He didn't want to do it from the mound. He didn't want to do it at all, really, but his supposed older brother (His Majesty) did it before, so he had to eventually do it himself after he got used to being in the limelight (he didn't do it after the Shi clan fell because people agreed he needed a break after being scarred). He knew a lot of other ceremonial first pitchers did it standing in front of the mound, but that would be no excuse considering he's so high profile and His Majesty did it from the mound. Some of his most eager fans tried to start a rumor that he was going to be the first to do it even further back from the mound, but his entourage thankfully managed to shut that down.

Like his usual narrative acts (thinking of the Go match against Lakan from LN8), he ends up practicing with a Clinton-level dedication. He'll be able to hire a fantastic (albeit harsh) coach like the Go coach from LN8, but for baseball pitching instead. When Maomao meets with Jinshi for various narrative reasons, she'll find out about this and once again wonder what the big deal is, nostalgically reminiscing on her days with Gyokuyou and her first pitch practice sessions in the Jade Pavilion.

On the day of the pitch, Jinshi will be ready. He'll be nervous, but his coach will have done a better job with instilling discipline than Lihua's rear palace coach. The Moon Prince's adoring fans will cheer from the stands, but he won't be fazed. He'll throw a Clinton-level pitch with just a little more force than expected, going almost a bit too high, but it'll land cleanly into the catcher's mitt, resulting in a solid strike and the raucous cheers of his entire fanbase.

Jinshi will smile for the crowd, but deep inside he's thinking, "Thank goodness that's over."

3. Loulan - Sarah Silverman (2013)

Is it a strike? - Yes (Excellent) Does she have fun? - Yes (Secretly)

Sarah Silverman threw a magnificent high-velocity pitch here, a bit of an edge case here but I rule it's right on the inside border of the relaxed strike zone. Loulan will do it from the mound (unlike Silverman) and it will be just a little cleaner while still looking like this. It might be surprising to give Loulan a pitch this good, but think about it narratively.

Even before the Shi clan falls, some people don't trust this new high consort who forced Ah-Duo out of her position without any actual merit (Basen certainly didn't like her for that reason). They're suspicious of her, Shishou, and the Shi clan in general. Others don't like the outrageous way she dresses or how strange and mysterious she is, and she seems to be terribly aloof and uncaring. She isn't public enemy #1 yet, but she's already set up to be the villain before she willingly takes that title herself.

Narratively, Loulan throwing a Silverman-level heater while remaining as stoic as ever (instead of breaking and showing chinks in her armor) will mildly annoy her detractors and raise intrigue for people who are indifferent to her. To her detractors, even an undeniably good ceremonial first pitch feels like yet another reason to resent the enigmatic new Pure Consort. Silverman also had a fun, cocky attitude after her throw. Loulan won't visibly react the same way, remaining as stoic as ever... but her worst haters will project a similar cockiness onto her casual reaction.

As for her capacity to hone good technique and not overthink it like previous consorts, I think this is realistic of her. The only "athletic" feat we've really seen of her is karate chopping that one Shi clan adult who tried running out of the room, but I can imagine her A. getting decent exercise from all her bug hunting shenanigans (as Shisui), B. being forced by the abusive Shenmei to exercise to stay healthy and fit as a child so she can be the pretty doll she wants her to be, and C. quietly working on her technique before the throw. She won't make one of her lookalike ladies-in-waiting do it for her, because very secretly, she's actually viewing the occasion with the same exact kind of spirited, fun lightness as Gyokuyou, too. And when she fires her amazing pitch, her inner Shisui really will feel as happy as Sarah Silverman did in 2013. But nobody will ever know.

Her highly successful throw will become recontextualized once she's gone and becomes Li's big villain the people write plays about. When the Emperor does his first ever ceremonial first pitch shortly following the fall of the Shi clan, the need to do it better than Loulan will partially inform his story, as you'll see later.

2. Ah-Duo - Matthew McConaughey (2011)

2009 - White Shirt / 2011 - Red Shirt

Is it a strike? - Yes (Excellent) Does she have fun? - Yes

Matthew McConaughey has actually delivered two powerful fastballs, one in 2009 and another in 2011. 2009's was a clean, unambiguous strike and the one that Ah-Duo's resembles the most. After the 2009 pitch, though, McConaughey reacted with a "Hell yeah!" type fist pump. By contrast, in 2011 he pretty much went "Damn right I threw another heater. Time to shake the catcher's hand!" I can imagine Ah-Duo, despite it being her first ever ceremonial pitch and being the first high consort to do one at all, delivering a 2009 McConaughey-tier bullet yet reacting as coolly as 2011 McConaughey.

Remember in the scenario I set up, she wasn't even gearing up to do a ceremonial first pitch at the garden party, she just volunteered after the original pitcher got injured the day of the event. But it wasn't exactly her first time pitching. When baseball was rising up in Li in the years before Volume 1, Ah-Duo took to the cool new sport like Baryou took to books, finding it to be a fun, vigorous, disciplined activity. Thanks to her favor with the Emperor, she was able to convince him to set aside part of the rear palace grounds as baseball fields for servants, ladies-in-waiting, and even consorts to enjoy in their free time. She enjoyed throwing pitches and playing ball with any ladies she could from time to time. In the process, she managed to hone an excellent pitching technique way before Vol. 2's garden party was even in the planning phase.

If this happened in the anime, this historic event would be the first big baseball-related scene we'd see and a sick character-establishing moment for Ah-Duo. She'll step up to the mound looking as cool as ever. Dramatic music will play, time will slow down as she winds up, and then... BAM!

Our girl throws the heater that lights a fire in Gyokuyou's soul.

1. The Emperor - George W. Bush (2001)

Is it a strike? - Yes (Perfect) Does he have fun? - No

George W. Bush's ceremonial first pitch from October 2001 is widely considered a perfect strike and the "most memorable and most important first pitch thrown by a president." This was the leader of the United States showing up at a baseball game just a month after 9/11. Tensions were high, Bush had to wear a bulletproof vest, and the Yankees' shortstop Derek Jeter even warned him, "Don't bounce it, they'll boo you." Even with this immense pressure, Bush pitched an absolutely perfect, high-velocity strike right down the middle. You honestly couldn't have asked for a better pitch in such a context.

The Emperor will do his first ever ceremonial pitch at a fun event meant to celebrate Gyokuyou becoming Empress, but it's also shortly after the fall of the Shi clan. Now obviously, that's vastly different from what Bush went through, to say the least. But in this era, the fall of a major clan is a big black mark on a country like Li, and superstition reigned among the populace. As the narrator said in LN5 about the possibility of a locust plague:

"People would claim that the plague was a sign that the Emperor was not ruling the country properly. They’re just bugs, you might think, but such plagues had spelled the end of more than one nation in history. And for this to come the very year after the Emperor had destroyed the Shi clan—what would the people make of that? Ridiculous superstition, Maomao thought—but in the minds of many, the connection couldn’t be dismissed so easily. And the Emperor and his relatives had to rule the credulous as well as the skeptical."

If you were like Maomao, you would agree the result of his first pitch doesn't mean anything at all, and it wouldn't, in the grand scheme of things.

But remember, we're in anime/light novel land, where everything's dramatic and background characters can be fickle. Everyone saw the former high consort Loulan's undeniably strong heater. The most popular play about the evil Shi clan princess even included her fastball moment for some stupid reason, so people definitely remember. If the Emperor screws up and fails to get as good a strike as Loulan, there will be some folks murmuring, "Oh, that's an ill omen. The Shi clan witch clearly got into his head." Any rumors that Heaven may have withdrawn its favor might (stupidly) increase on the basis of a bad pitch. The Emperor can't afford to pull a Carly Rae Jepsen here.

So he takes it seriously. He gets the same person who'll end up coaching Jinshi later on, and he trains until he can pitch reliable fastballs. Being the Emperor, he's already got a good baseline of fitness, given his need to stay healthy to perform his duties both in the court and the rear palace. He just needs to refine his technique, and he'll do fine. Much like future Jinshi, he forgets to have fun in the process, but that shouldn't matter. He's the Emperor, after all.

Narratively speaking, the Emperor's pitch needs to be special and melodramatic. Now watch this scene: It's a light, cloudy day. The Emperor steps up to the mound with a bigger audience than ever in the crowd. His wife, Empress Gyokuyou, watches with a smile. The catcher, the trustworthy Gaoshun, steels himself, ready to catch His Majesty's magnificent throw. Everyone in the crowd falls silent, watching with bated breath.

Suddenly, right before he starts winding up, the clouds part and a bright ray of Sun lands squarely on the Emperor. It's a miracle! The heavens are watching His Majesty right now! He can't possibly fail!

The Emperor doesn't even react. He simply takes a breath, winds up, and makes his pitch. And there it goes: Fast, clean, and right down the middle. It's a perfect strike! Everyone in the crowd cheers! The announcers are crying! You can hear some people in the crowd proclaiming that His Majesty's strike was blessed by the hands of gods!

Quietly, Maomao mutters to herself, "He just practiced a lot."

Closing Thoughts

If you've read my previous Apothecary Diaries Baseball work, you'll know that a few years after his solid ceremonial first pitch, Jinshi will eventually go on to join The Ideal Apothecary Diaries Baseball Team (the Mighty Ducks) as the charming first baseman and second in line in the batting order! If you enjoyed this, I recommend checking out the baseball team I drafted up there if you haven't already (I also wrote other roles like umpires, announcers, medical staff, and the mascot).

This post, in addition to being another fun, thoroughly ridiculous extension to the Apothecary Diaries Baseball Team series, was also meant to be a prequel that illuminates more of the history of baseball entering Linese culture in my imagined alternate universe. I initially thought of the first pitches without that much context, but as a writer, I quickly realized I just had to make each one a miniature story of its own, and it was incredibly fun. Thank you to my friend pinkparentheses (on AO3) for beta reading this!

I hope you enjoyed reading, and I hope all my fellow Americans can enjoy this 4th of July!