#electrolocaust

Summary: Sammy and Ben are ringing in the New Year, however things come to a head when Deputy Troy wants to bring Ben’s late Christmas present.

Characters:

Sammy Stevens

Ben Arnold

Doyle Bevins

Troy Krieghauser

Mayor Grisham

HFB III

Mr. Thompson

Pete Meyers

“Shotgun Sammy” Caller

Dusty Reynolds

Plot Tags:

Doyle’s Portal

Bemily

Co-Best Buds

Best Small Town

Transmorgrifier

Electrolocaust

General Abilene

Mayor: Ladies and gentlemen, I promise you that while it is a terrible inconvenience that our modern electronics are out, this is not the end of the world. It could be a refreshing change of pace! Instead of reading on your tablet go down to the King Falls library and check out the real thing! And instead of texting your BFF go enjoy some pancake puppies at Rose’s and have a face-to-face chat.This isn’t as bad as it seems and it could be a blessing in disguise. [intro] Sammy: Good morning guys and dolls, you’re listening to King Falls AM Ben: That’s 660 on the radio dial. Sammy: and this is day 13 of what has been dubbed the King Falls electrolocaust. Ben: This has easily been the hardest two weeks of my professional career. Sammy: It has been tough, but Ben and I want to thank you and everyone out there listening for the continuing support of the show. Ben: We got another doozy of a show for you tonight King Falls. During our two we’ll be interviewing Maria Chandler, manager of the King Falls Apple store, and speaking about the effects that shut down this (?) business. Sammy: MMYAs well as fielding your calls and talking about whatever’s clever this evening. Ben: I miss computers, Sammy. I miss the schedule, our automated systems, my alarm clock. I’ve went through three the legal pads in two weeks! Sammy: I know, buddy. Ben: I would literally watch channel 13 if given the chance. Sammy: Wow. That’s saying a lot. Ben: I need my life back. Sammy: King Falls, how are you taking the modern electronic shut down of 2015? Are you refreshed? Reliving the mid-90s? Or are you falling apart like our dear Ben Arnold? Ben: I’d listen to boy bands to have a working smartphone. I’d wear, puka shell necklaces and sell my pod collection if you give me five minutes with my email. Sammy: Look on the bright side, Ben. You’re spending all your free time down the library, and I haven’t called you out on it, Ben: That’s calling me out on it. Sammy: Well, and you know it’s nice hearing the birds tweeting instead of @ king falls a.m., I’m not saying I don’t miss it but I’m enjoying this a little bit. Ben: It’s tearing up my heart when I’m with you

Sammy: The references are not gonna bring back your goods. Ben: Dammit Sammy, let’s just take a call from our jury-rigged phone system. Sammy: You’re live with Sammy and Ben. Cynthia: Yeah, I wanna talk about the outages. Sammy: Cynthia Higgenbaum ladies and gents. How are you doing during this electronic crisis? Cynthia: I feel the warm embrace of the chastity belt that’s been placed on society. I’m relieved, de-stressed, marvelous. Ben: Whoa, that’s, that’s a heck of a change. Cynthia: What are you trying to say, Ben? Sammy: It’s just usually- you’ve been a little.. pessimistic in the past. Cynthia: Oh, I still have problems; I’m full up with issues. But right now, I don’t have to worry about what websites my husband is pursuing, what brain-dead TV my kids are watching, I’m at peace. It’s just me and my harlequin novels. Plus with Jesus back in all- Ben: 50 shades of Cynthia Cynthia: Don’t be filthy Ben Arnold! I know your mother! Sammy: I’m sorry Cynthia, did you just say that Jesus is back? Cynthia: Have you guys not heard the news? Ben Is she talking about Jesus Jesus? Cynthia: There’s only one. Sammy: Well, I think Mexico would disagree but please tell us why you think Jesus is- Cynthia: I don’t think Sammy I know! Earlier this evening, he was spotted glowing and speaking in tongues at Jack In The Box. Ben: The one off Main Street or Red Oak Avenue? Cynthia: Ew, nobody does to Red Oak. Sammy: Jack In The Box Jesus. Cynthia: Oh, hell no! I will not participate in that blasphemy. You’re gonna get smited- Sammy: Oh, I mean, I wasn’t- I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to- Cynthia: Tell it to Satan, In hell, Sammy! [hangs up] Ben: Woah, this is big. Sammy: If you or someone you know has had a sighting of Jack In The Box Jesus please give us a call. 424-279-3858 Ben: You’re on King Falls AM. Troy: Now I know what you’re thinking: how could the second coming of God’s only son happen and ol’ Troy here didn’t clue you in. Ben: Not what I was thinking. Sammy: What do you know Troy? Troy: Well I got a suspicious persons call out at ol’ Jack in the Box around 9, So I hit the lights and cruised over to see what the fuss was about. And lo and behold, back by the dumpster with a mess of people looking on, there he was. Sammy: Now are you really telling us that you saw, or, you believe you saw the son of God and the King of Kings banging outside the Jack In The Box? Troy: Well, he was a man, somebody’s son no doubt. Bearded, good looking, if you are into that sort of thing. He had a robe on- Ben: We can solve this right now. Was he white or was he black? Troy: He was more of a greenish color. Like a glow really. Sammy: The man had an aura around him. Troy: It was shinier than the damn Fukushima foxhound fellas. Like I felt a need to put on the old aviators, but I didn’t want to be cliché. Sammy: Alright, Troy. So, work with us here you’re in the back of the Jack In The Box, there’s a uh, Jesus type guy. Troy: Just-a-ramblin’ on. Ben: Speaking in tongues? Troy: Speaking in something. The last time I heard gibberish like that was comin’ from the back of my Chevy with Shell Snider’s daughter. Sammy: So what happened next? Troy: Well a group of lucky-loos had descended as I said and since it was only me, there was no perimeter set up yet. So I started ta approach this glowing Christ and somebody, Roy Higgens if you gotta know, hollered out ‘it’s Jesus!’ and the whole parking lot just went bonkers! Ben: Well, did you speak to the guy? Troy: Damn skippy. I told Roy that this was official police biz, And he shouldn’t be squawking around like a little baby. Ben: No, Jack in the box Jesus. Troy: Oh, well no. I turned around and he was gone. Split right off into the woods I suspect. Sammy: Did you follow him? Troy: Sammy, so you’re telling me that you’d follow a 6 foot tall and glowing perp into the woods? Sammy: Point taken. Ben: So any other sightings? Troy: Well, not as of yet. But there were so many people they could have had a revival in that parkin’ lot. So I’m guessin’ that’s how word spread so quickly. And without internet too? That’s pretty damn impressive. Sammy: Is there an APB out or anything? Troy: For what, dilly-dallying around with a jumbo jack? He wasn’t doin nothin bad, just acting a fool, Lord forgive me, where he shouldn’t have been. Ben: And glowing. Troy: That’s right. Sammy: Well, please let us know if get any more info on this Troy, we’d appreciate it. Troy: You bet, I’ll be sure to keep you boys in the listen and the public informed. But if you should happen to stumble upon Jesus, do not approach, bother or pester. Just call up ol’ deputy Troy. [hangs up] Ben: ..or your local church. Sammy: Deputy Troy ladies and gents. Now we’re just going to take a quick break and hear from one of our new sponsors: Carl’s Candy. Ben: Yeah I don- I don’t think we should play this Sammy: What? Ads pay the bills remember? Ben: Folks, as a work around with all the tech issues, I went out and recorded a few spots of some of our sponsors, new and old. Emphasis on old after this one. Sammy: Ok so the audio is bad. Ben: You could say that. Sammy: This company’s paid up, they’re scheduled in one of your many notebooks let’s do this. We’ll be right back folks. [ad] Carl: Do you know why they call it a blow pop? I sure do. And if you come on down to Creepy Carl’s Candy, I’ll fill ya up! I mean in, it’ll be our little secret. A sweet tooth is a terrible thing to waste, come find a new sugar daddy to butter your fingers at Creepy Carl’s! Come in and grab a sack of Carl’s Boston baked beans while you’re at it. Oops, one fell in my pocket. Free if you can find it. Every child’s welcome at Creepy Carl’s, big mouths, small mouths, white mouths and brown mouths. We’re equal opportunity! And just because they shut down the ol’ brick and mortar doesn’t mean you can’t buy it from my van. Be sure to ask your parent’s permission first, kids. Creepy Carl’s Candy, where the suckers don’t suck themselves. [Police sirens] Troy: Carl, turn off your ignition. You are too close to the school zone. Carl: I gotta go, catch ya later

??: The mic! [End] Sammy: Never again. Ben: I tried to tell you. Sammy: I know. Let’s never speak about this. Ben: I need a shower. Sammy: Moving forward, we were just talking about a sighting that happened a few hours ago around the 9 o’clock hour just off main street. It seems quite a few people believe that we may be experiencing a religious phenomenon. Perhaps the second coming of– Ben: Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years! Sammy: Right, let’s go to the phone lines. Ben: That was good though right? Sammy: It was good. Good evening, you are live on King Falls AM. Reverend: Ask and you shall receive. King Falls-uh. It is the good Reverend Xavier “Right with God-uh” Hawthorne. Ben: Reverend Hawthorne? Are you back in town? Reverend: The one and only, and we are turnin’ the wagons around as we speak. And we’re heading back to my flock. How’re y’all feelin’ tonight, King Falls? I said How are you, feelin’! Sammy: We’re feeling alright. REVEREND HAWTHORN   Praise God-uh! Hallelujah! Now a little birdie, just chirp’n on my shoulder, told me there was a sighting. A vision. Dare I say it, eyeballs were laid on our Lord and Saviour at a burger joint in our fair city. Sammy: Yeah, about 9 o’clock here. Reverend: Could it be-uh, that our 5 week revival worked. Could it be-uh that our prayers have been brought forth the lamb of God-uh. Can I get an amen! Ben: Reverend Hawthorne w- Reverend: Amen! This miracle-uh, this sight from our God-uh, perched on a mountain of sanctity, says that he is ready to lead-uh, his most highly favored congregation back to the promised land. Have me some organ Deacon Reggie [organ music begins playing in the background] Sammy: Do you think Reggie has to wheel that thing around just in case? Ben: This is getting good. Reverend: Play it dirty brother. We are going home-uh. Take us back to Calvary, take us BACK-uh! Samuel, Benjamin may I ask you gentlemen if you have a relationship-uh with the Author of the eternal salvation; are you saved? Sammy: I’m- Reverend: The let me tell y’all, because if you aren’t-uh, I’m coming back to town, one weekend only, the Xavier “Right with God-uh” Hawthorne Experience will be wheelin’ back into King Falls Fairgrounds this very night-uh. We are hoping to get one-on-one with the Risen Christ and start preparing for Kingdom Come. But just like old Xavier, you gotta come on down-uh so we can get you turnt up with God-uh. [hangs up] Sammy: Xavier? Hello? Ben: He’s, gone. Sammy. Sammy: Well, you heard it here first folks Xavier Hawthorn’s Travelling Roadshow is coming back to town. Will Jack In The Box Jesus make his stage debut? Ben: Jesus. Sammy: Literally. Ben: Do you think we can get an interview? Would it be Mr. Christ? Or- Sammy: Something tells me that there is something more to the story than what we’ve heard so far, Ben. Ben: I get that, but this is King Falls, Sammy. Sammy: What a perfect place to make a return, a rinky-dink town with no internet. Ben: Line -dammit, there’s only one line. Uh, you’re on with Sammy and Ben. Archie: Good evenin’ fellas! Sammy: Is thi- Archie: It’s Archie Simmons! Ben: Hey Archie, how’s Princess Von Barktooth? Archie: Well, I do have news concerning the princess, and I just want to possibly recant some info from our previous call a few weeks back. Sammy: About the werewolves? Archie: Correct. Sammy: Wow, I mean you sounded pretty convinced that you saw a werewolf. Archie: And now I’m saying that maybe I was misinformed. Sammy: I think you should probably tell Troy and the Sheriff’s Office, Archie. Archie: You silly sally, Troy’s already on his way over now Ben: Why the change of heart Archie? Archie: Well, new information has come to light boys, I mean with the Divine One making his triumphant, let’s be honest, dramatic return to King Falls.

Sammy: You’re talking about the glowing man at the Jack In The Box? Archie: Let’s be real here, it’s the J-Man, of course a heavenly carpenter would pick King Falls. So many projects to keep busy with. Sammy: Uh-huh. Archie: Plus with the princess and this new information, we have to believe this. Ben: You keep saying that, what’s going on with the princess Archie? Archie: She’s in a delicate condition. Sammy: Oh, well of course. I mean she’s been through a lot. Archie: No Sammy, I mean that she is with child. Children. Puppies? There’s a bun in the $2400 oven boys! Sammy: Wait, she’s pregnant? From the werewolf attack? Archie: Well, that’s the thing, while I believed in my heart of hearts that the hillbilly beast from the trailer park had gotten to the princess, I think.. Ben: What, what do you think Archie? Archie: I mean it was dark, I know it was a full moon but I was scared and recently awakened, sleep in my eyes etc. and so on. Sammy: You don’t think it was the werewolves. Archie: I’m thinking with this new evidence and the fact that I saw a long-haired bearded man in the biblical act, yeah I think there’s a chance it could have been [whispering] the man upstairs. Ben: Upstairs from whom? Archie: Mankind! Come on Ben get with the preacher. Sammy: He’s saying that because there’s been a holy sighting tonight, which we should all be a little bit doubtful of, then maybe it wasn’t the werewolves, but the Alpha and the Omega. Ben: No! NO WA- That’s too much, Archie. You saw the werewolf. He looked you in the eye and howled at the moon. Archie: I don’t know what kind of weird things Jesus is into. Ben: No way. This is ludicrous. Archie: You just wait and see Ben. Princess may have lost her Westminster dream, all part of God’s plan. Ben: We’ve got to go Archie [laughs] you’re crossing a line that we cannot cross at King Falls AM. Archie: Judge not, lest ye be judged boys. Kardashians 3:16 or a Psalm or something. I think Troy’s coming around the bend anyways boys, laters! [Hangs up] Sammy: You know when I walk in the door every night I say to myself, ‘Nothing’s going to surprise me tonight’ And more times than not, I am just dead wrong. Ben: Let’s give the phone a rest for a moment, Sammy the record player is just begging to be used.

Summary: Sammy and Ben get a quick update on the little ones off Route 72 and learn live on-air that not everyone had a great evening the night of the Valentine’s Day Dance.

Characters:

Sammy Stevens

Troy Krieghauser

Ben Arnold

Pete Meyers

HFB III

Ernie Salsados

Greg Frickard

Emily Potter

Plot Tags:

Werewolves

Transmorgrifier

Electrolocaust

Rich McGuff

Summary: An alleged sighting of the Lord and Savior at a down town fast food restaurant has the residents of King Falls ready for deliverance, meanwhile Sammy and Ben try to navigate the flood waters of this revelation.

Characters:

Mayor Grisham

Sammy Stevens

Ben Arnold

Cynthia Higginbaum

Troy Krieghauser

Creepy Carl

Reverend Xavier “Get Right With God” Hawthorne

Archie Simmons

Plot Tags:

Electrolocaust

Jack in the Box Jesus

Archie’s Pomchi Palace

Summary: Sammy and Ben have planned a tribute to King Falls AM’s resident jazz legend Chet Sebastian, however an impromtu, and selective power failure, takes out most of the stations broadcast tools, leaving the boys to fend for themselves.

Characters:

Sammy Stevens

Ben Arnold

“Shotgun Sammy” caller

Doyle Bevins

Pete Meyers

Emily Potter

Plot Tags:

Electrolocaust

Grease

HFB 3

[KFAM music]

Sam: Good evening King Falls, you’re listening to 660 on the radio dial, and I’ve gotta tell you, we’ve got a  heck of a show this evening. We’re paying tribute to King Falls musical legend and Ben's old boss, jazz meistro Chet Sebastian. We’ll be discussing 40 years of-*static, sound of things powering down*

B: What the hell?

S: What’d I touch?

B: I don’t think it was you.

S: Sorry ladies and gents, it seems we’re having a slight technical difficulty here. Um, yeah, hey my computer’s down Ben.

B: Mine too. Sammy, I dunno if they can even hear us. We might be out out.

S: Well okay then, uh, we’re live and we’re winging it folks.

B: Au contraire my friend. You should know I’ve got a backup plan, and a backup for the backup plan.

S: Uh huh.

B: Let me just pull out the trusty smartphone aaaaand…

S: And?

B: It’s off.

S: Well, good thing you’ve got a backup for this.

B: It’s...an expression. We’re flying blind, Sammy. Check your phone.

S: It is off, uh, lemme guess, the ghost, sorry, apparition,-

B: Thank you.

S: Of Marconi just visited the station just decided to start yanking wires.

B: Maybe Merv forgot to pay the electric bill.

S: The lights, the mics, it’s not electricity, this is selective. But, y’know, thanks for being so cheap and old, Merv. It may have spared 660 from the wrath of skynet.

B: Yeah, the board’s lit up, and so are the phones, I don’t get it.

S: King Falls, have you gotten whacked by this random and seemingly mischievous power outage? You’ve heard our story, let’s hear uh, wait can they hear us?

B: Good call.

S: I don’t understand why some of this stuff is working, and some of it is out. What’re we doing, Ben?

*quiet buzzing in the background*

S: Now’s not the time to go rogue.

B: Radio’s are working, Sammy. We’re live

S: Well, you’re hearing our story right now King Falls, let's hear yours. If you’ve got a phone that’s working, give us a call or tweet us @kingfallsam.

B: Can’t check the twitter.

S: Dammit. *sigh* Let's take a call, Ben.

B: But, the schedule?

S: Dude, what schedule? The one locked in the computer that’s zoinked out, or the one that’s locked in our iphone that won’t power up?

B: Damn your logic. Line 1!

S: You’re live on the air with Sammy and Ben, hope you’re well on this weird ass evening.

?: Hey Shotgun!

S: Hey man. What’s your name again?

?: Not important, I just wanted to check in with my favorite AM radio host, and tell you you’re coming in loud and clear on my end. Loud and clear! Heheh. Am I on the air?

B: You’re live, sir.

S: So how’re things in your neck of the woods? Any technology issues, things not powering up and on for you?

?: Not a problem in the world, Shotgun. Heheh.

B: Is he going to keep calling you-

?: Shotguuuuuuuuuuun Sammyyyyyyy.

S: *Sigh*. Was there anything in particular you needed?

?: That’s it. Love the show. Shotgun Sammyyyyyy!

*hangup noise*

B: What did you do in your past life, Sammy?

S: You don’t even wanna know.

B: *sigh* Line seven, good evening you’re on King Falls AM.

Doyle: Hey Ben, hey Sammy, you dudes doing okay up there?

S: All things considered we’re doing well, and who’re we speaking with?

D: *stoned sounding laughter* Oh, this is Doyle. Doyle Bevins, out in Hollybrook Estates.

B: Hey Doyle, you having any issues with your computers, smartphone, what have you?

D: Oh yeah, about five minutes ago all my toys just shut off. TV, ‘puter, phone, sounded like a transformer just shut down.

S: Oh! So you had a transformer blow up by you? Could that have caused that way up here, Ben?

B: I-

D: Oh no, no, nothing like that. Like it was Bumblebee powering down, like uh kachuhuh, kachuhuhuh.

B: Oh. Right. Regardless, Hollybrook is a good five miles outside of town, I dunno if that would have hit us.

S: Doyle, thanks for calling in and letting us know what’s going on with you.

D: Oh, sure thing bro, but that’s not why I called.

B: Oh, uh, okay?

S: What’s on your mind tonight, Doyle?

D: Well, before all this new age funky junk started, I was having some really crazy stuff going on here in the apartment.

S: Crazy stuff, what kind of stuff?

D: Supernatural stuff.

B: I got nothing, I’ve never heard of anything going on in hollybrook.

D: *stoned laughter* It is insane, Ben. It’s like I'm living in some sort of cybertronian spacecraft.

S: Cybertronian? I'm not familiar, Ben?

B: It’s a transformers reference. It’s not real.

D: Hey. It’s real, Ben.

S: Can you give us an example?

B: Without referencing a Mike Bay movie.

D: Sure thing bro. So, I got this toaster, right?

B: Mmhm.

D: Sometimes, late at night, BOOM! It’ll pop up the scariest damn thing you ever laid eyes on.

S: So it makes the noise like when the bread is done?

D: Ghost toast boys. It pops, but ain't nothing there.

B: Doyle. *long pause* We’re gonna take another call.

D: Ohoho, not good enough for you Ben? Not spooky kooky enough, huh? I’ll do you one better.

B: You’d have to.

D: Sometimes, late at night, my fridge start making this scary humming noise, like hummmmmumumumum-

S: Doyle.

D: Humumum.

S: Doyle.

D: Hummumumum *clears throat, coughs*. Ahem. You get it.

S: Doyle. Are only experiencing this phenomena with your appliances?

D: Can, can I finish Sammy? Is that, is that cool? Can I finish?

S: I'm sorry, of course.

D: Alright. So like I said, it’s just a herming, so I sneak in the kitchen, all vatican assassin like, and I fling open the door, acrackachow! Ain't nothing happening boys. Mayo and mustard just looking to me like they wanna hop on a sandwich.

S: Alright, Doyle. We’re gonna take another call. Please be careful out there, with the appliances and such.

D: Hey, do you all want me to make you a video and send it? *scoff* Duh, maye the electronics are zapped so I can’t prove it, man? It’s a big old vicious circle, bros.

*hang up noise*

B: Dear god.

S: Take care, Doyle. Line 9 you’re on with Sammy and Ben.

?: Long time listener here. Second time caller.

*hangup noise*

S: Nope, not tonight. I don’t want that. Lets go ahead and take line-

B: *drawn out throat clearing noise*

S: Yes, Ben?

B: *sigh*, Uhhh, we, we uh, we need to play an ad, Sammy.

S: Play an ad? You know the computers are off, right?

B: Mmhm.

S: Don’t look at me like that. Don’t even think it.

B: God. *singing* When you’re hungry and you know it come to Rose’s.

S: No.

B: *still singing* If you’re starving and it’s showing come to Rose’s.

S: Ben, please.

B: *still singing* We’ve waffles and cranapples-

S: Ben!

B: I’m just trying to make sure the clients get their money’s worth.

S: I understand that, but you know there’s no better way to do that then talking about just how delicious Rose’s Diner can be. Personally, I'm one for the country breakfast. What do you get down there at Rose’s?

B: Uhm, well it’s a fact that you just can’t beat Rose’s fresh donuts.

S: And from what Troy’s told us, they make a mean bagel as well.

B: I’ve been going to Rose’s all my life. Never had a bad meal there, not one.

S: Y’know I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stopped by for a great meal and good conversation. So if you’re in the neighborhood, just passing through, or wanna feel at home away from home, stop by Rose’s Diner. Right off the interstate.

B: Exit 44.

S: There you go.

B: You’re good, and I'm hungry. Man I could go for the signature pancake puppies.

S: Whatever stops that singing.

B: Okay, please, I’ll, uh, I’ll have you know, Mr. Sheffield cast me as the lead in King Falls high school’s rendition of Grease

S: Alright Zuko, let’s take some calls. Good evening, you’re on with-

*static, feedback*

B: Tim!

S: Can you hear us, Tim?

*feedback fading*

Pete: Sorry, sorry, let me turn my radio down.

S: False alarm.

B: What do you want, Pete?

P: This isn’t Pete, my name is...Escobar. And I want to tell you that this is the absolute worst broadcast in the history of radio. You two oughta be ashamed.

S: We’re just trying to make the best of a bad situation, Pete.

P: Escobar.

B: I thought you weren’t ever listening to King Falls AM again, Pete?

P: I'm not listening...I'm assuming.

S: Well, you know what they say when you assume something, right Pete?

P: Esss-cooo-bariiita.

B: Don’t you have some mowing or clipping up to do up at Beauregard’s manor?

P: Racist! You know dang well no one goes up there after sundown. Ese.

B: So you admit your employer is a vampire. Hmm. Interesting.

P: I didn’t say, I didn’t, I didn’t say that. I just don’t wanna whack a weed that ain’t a weed. Ben, start living right. All that scary stuffs frying your brain.

S: Pete. Escobar. Do you have a reason for call-

P: Alright, pushy. Alright, you know what, I swear I ain't listening to you ever again, you browbeating ruffians. Nunca, nunca I tell you.

*hang up noise*

S: It’s gonna be a long night.

*sound of equipment powering down*

B: Look at the phone lines, we dropped all the calls. Line one? Hello? *silence* You’re on with King Falls? Nothing. We can’t fill four hours like this, Sammy.

S: I’ve got an idea. Give me your keys, Ben.

*sound of Sammy getting up*

B: This can’t be good.

S: Be right back.

B: Sammy. *moment of silence, followed by a door opening and closing* *singing* Stranded, at the drive in, branded a fool. *in normal voice* Yeah, I still got it. Okay folks, just, uh, lemme just check to see if our regular phones are working. Make a little call out. What’s this, a rotary phone? *dialing* Yeesh. *still dialing* *ringing*

Emily: Hello?

B: Hey Emily, it’s Ben. I hope I didn’t wake you?

E: Not at all, I'm listening. What’s going on with the show? And the electronics?

B: I know, right? I just wanna make sure you are, oh, uh, hey, we’re live by the way.

E: As live as can be, right?

B: Right. But yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay with all the weirdness happening tonight.

E: I'm fine. Thanks for thinking of me. Good thing I’ve got a landline, I guess.

B: If you didn’t, I would have had to come over to check.

E: Oh really? That’s an interesting thought.

B: Um. Yeah. Y’know. To make sure that you’re safe and sound. Like a gentleman.

E: Oh, of course.

B: Oh, uh, so, the other reason I called, um, in all your studies or research, do you ever recall any kind of electronic or, or, electromagnetic pulses here in the Falls?

E: Not to my knowledge. Obviously I’ll dig more into this later today at the library, but it’s new I think. Lucky us.

B: Lucky us.

*door opening and closing*

S: Alright, what’d I miss?

E: Hi Sammy!

S: Hi Emily. Hope you’re doing alright tonight.

B: Hey, I’ll call you later, okay?

E: Sounds like a plan.

B: Night! *hang up noise* Don’t look at me like that, Sammy.

S: I didn’t say a word. Crazy power outages and electrical malfunctions. Do you call your mom first? Your brother? Nope. you call your local librarian, Emily Potter.

B: So?

S: So it’s cute.

B: Whatever. What’re you up to over there?

S: Well, this is a record player borrowed from Mr. Chet Sebastian's office. This is not how we planned the evening, but, thank you Chet.

B: And?

S: Well, I figure since our fancy new high and mighty tech is out, that we’ll just have to bring back some old trusty reliable stuff to pass the time.

B: It’s a little telling that most of our broadcast equipment hasn’t gotten shut down.

S: Merv, take a note. Upgrade our WKRP radio shack so we can take a night off when everything goes belly up, huh?

B: Lemme mic that thing up.

S: Alright ladies and gents, you’re listening to King Falls AM, that’s 660 on the radio dial, with me as always my cohost Ben Arnold and this, this is a little Chet Sebastian jazz to help you through this weird ass night. Thanks for being a legend, sir.