#line 7

[KFAM music]

Sam: Good evening King Falls, you’re listening to 660 on the radio dial, and I’ve gotta tell you, we’ve got a  heck of a show this evening. We’re paying tribute to King Falls musical legend and Ben's old boss, jazz meistro Chet Sebastian. We’ll be discussing 40 years of-*static, sound of things powering down*

B: What the hell?

S: What’d I touch?

B: I don’t think it was you.

S: Sorry ladies and gents, it seems we’re having a slight technical difficulty here. Um, yeah, hey my computer’s down Ben.

B: Mine too. Sammy, I dunno if they can even hear us. We might be out out.

S: Well okay then, uh, we’re live and we’re winging it folks.

B: Au contraire my friend. You should know I’ve got a backup plan, and a backup for the backup plan.

S: Uh huh.

B: Let me just pull out the trusty smartphone aaaaand…

S: And?

B: It’s off.

S: Well, good thing you’ve got a backup for this.

B: It’s...an expression. We’re flying blind, Sammy. Check your phone.

S: It is off, uh, lemme guess, the ghost, sorry, apparition,-

B: Thank you.

S: Of Marconi just visited the station just decided to start yanking wires.

B: Maybe Merv forgot to pay the electric bill.

S: The lights, the mics, it’s not electricity, this is selective. But, y’know, thanks for being so cheap and old, Merv. It may have spared 660 from the wrath of skynet.

B: Yeah, the board’s lit up, and so are the phones, I don’t get it.

S: King Falls, have you gotten whacked by this random and seemingly mischievous power outage? You’ve heard our story, let’s hear uh, wait can they hear us?

B: Good call.

S: I don’t understand why some of this stuff is working, and some of it is out. What’re we doing, Ben?

*quiet buzzing in the background*

S: Now’s not the time to go rogue.

B: Radio’s are working, Sammy. We’re live

S: Well, you’re hearing our story right now King Falls, let's hear yours. If you’ve got a phone that’s working, give us a call or tweet us @kingfallsam.

B: Can’t check the twitter.

S: Dammit. *sigh* Let's take a call, Ben.

B: But, the schedule?

S: Dude, what schedule? The one locked in the computer that’s zoinked out, or the one that’s locked in our iphone that won’t power up?

B: Damn your logic. Line 1!

S: You’re live on the air with Sammy and Ben, hope you’re well on this weird ass evening.

?: Hey Shotgun!

S: Hey man. What’s your name again?

?: Not important, I just wanted to check in with my favorite AM radio host, and tell you you’re coming in loud and clear on my end. Loud and clear! Heheh. Am I on the air?

B: You’re live, sir.

S: So how’re things in your neck of the woods? Any technology issues, things not powering up and on for you?

?: Not a problem in the world, Shotgun. Heheh.

B: Is he going to keep calling you-

?: Shotguuuuuuuuuuun Sammyyyyyyy.

S: *Sigh*. Was there anything in particular you needed?

?: That’s it. Love the show. Shotgun Sammyyyyyy!

*hangup noise*

B: What did you do in your past life, Sammy?

S: You don’t even wanna know.

B: *sigh* Line seven, good evening you’re on King Falls AM.

Doyle: Hey Ben, hey Sammy, you dudes doing okay up there?

S: All things considered we’re doing well, and who’re we speaking with?

D: *stoned sounding laughter* Oh, this is Doyle. Doyle Bevins, out in Hollybrook Estates.

B: Hey Doyle, you having any issues with your computers, smartphone, what have you?

D: Oh yeah, about five minutes ago all my toys just shut off. TV, ‘puter, phone, sounded like a transformer just shut down.

S: Oh! So you had a transformer blow up by you? Could that have caused that way up here, Ben?

B: I-

D: Oh no, no, nothing like that. Like it was Bumblebee powering down, like uh kachuhuh, kachuhuhuh.

B: Oh. Right. Regardless, Hollybrook is a good five miles outside of town, I dunno if that would have hit us.

S: Doyle, thanks for calling in and letting us know what’s going on with you.

D: Oh, sure thing bro, but that’s not why I called.

B: Oh, uh, okay?

S: What’s on your mind tonight, Doyle?

D: Well, before all this new age funky junk started, I was having some really crazy stuff going on here in the apartment.

S: Crazy stuff, what kind of stuff?

D: Supernatural stuff.

B: I got nothing, I’ve never heard of anything going on in hollybrook.

D: *stoned laughter* It is insane, Ben. It’s like I'm living in some sort of cybertronian spacecraft.

S: Cybertronian? I'm not familiar, Ben?

B: It’s a transformers reference. It’s not real.

D: Hey. It’s real, Ben.

S: Can you give us an example?

B: Without referencing a Mike Bay movie.

D: Sure thing bro. So, I got this toaster, right?

B: Mmhm.

D: Sometimes, late at night, BOOM! It’ll pop up the scariest damn thing you ever laid eyes on.

S: So it makes the noise like when the bread is done?

D: Ghost toast boys. It pops, but ain't nothing there.

B: Doyle. *long pause* We’re gonna take another call.

D: Ohoho, not good enough for you Ben? Not spooky kooky enough, huh? I’ll do you one better.

B: You’d have to.

D: Sometimes, late at night, my fridge start making this scary humming noise, like hummmmmumumumum-

S: Doyle.

D: Humumum.

S: Doyle.

D: Hummumumum *clears throat, coughs*. Ahem. You get it.

S: Doyle. Are only experiencing this phenomena with your appliances?

D: Can, can I finish Sammy? Is that, is that cool? Can I finish?

S: I'm sorry, of course.

D: Alright. So like I said, it’s just a herming, so I sneak in the kitchen, all vatican assassin like, and I fling open the door, acrackachow! Ain't nothing happening boys. Mayo and mustard just looking to me like they wanna hop on a sandwich.

S: Alright, Doyle. We’re gonna take another call. Please be careful out there, with the appliances and such.

D: Hey, do you all want me to make you a video and send it? *scoff* Duh, maye the electronics are zapped so I can’t prove it, man? It’s a big old vicious circle, bros.

*hang up noise*

B: Dear god.

S: Take care, Doyle. Line 9 you’re on with Sammy and Ben.

?: Long time listener here. Second time caller.

*hangup noise*

S: Nope, not tonight. I don’t want that. Lets go ahead and take line-

B: *drawn out throat clearing noise*

S: Yes, Ben?

B: *sigh*, Uhhh, we, we uh, we need to play an ad, Sammy.

S: Play an ad? You know the computers are off, right?

B: Mmhm.

S: Don’t look at me like that. Don’t even think it.

B: God. *singing* When you’re hungry and you know it come to Rose’s.

S: No.

B: *still singing* If you’re starving and it’s showing come to Rose’s.

S: Ben, please.

B: *still singing* We’ve waffles and cranapples-

S: Ben!

B: I’m just trying to make sure the clients get their money’s worth.

S: I understand that, but you know there’s no better way to do that then talking about just how delicious Rose’s Diner can be. Personally, I'm one for the country breakfast. What do you get down there at Rose’s?

B: Uhm, well it’s a fact that you just can’t beat Rose’s fresh donuts.

S: And from what Troy’s told us, they make a mean bagel as well.

B: I’ve been going to Rose’s all my life. Never had a bad meal there, not one.

S: Y’know I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stopped by for a great meal and good conversation. So if you’re in the neighborhood, just passing through, or wanna feel at home away from home, stop by Rose’s Diner. Right off the interstate.

B: Exit 44.

S: There you go.

B: You’re good, and I'm hungry. Man I could go for the signature pancake puppies.

S: Whatever stops that singing.

B: Okay, please, I’ll, uh, I’ll have you know, Mr. Sheffield cast me as the lead in King Falls high school’s rendition of Grease

S: Alright Zuko, let’s take some calls. Good evening, you’re on with-

*static, feedback*

B: Tim!

S: Can you hear us, Tim?

*feedback fading*

Pete: Sorry, sorry, let me turn my radio down.

S: False alarm.

B: What do you want, Pete?

P: This isn’t Pete, my name is...Escobar. And I want to tell you that this is the absolute worst broadcast in the history of radio. You two oughta be ashamed.

S: We’re just trying to make the best of a bad situation, Pete.

P: Escobar.

B: I thought you weren’t ever listening to King Falls AM again, Pete?

P: I'm not listening...I'm assuming.

S: Well, you know what they say when you assume something, right Pete?

P: Esss-cooo-bariiita.

B: Don’t you have some mowing or clipping up to do up at Beauregard’s manor?

P: Racist! You know dang well no one goes up there after sundown. Ese.

B: So you admit your employer is a vampire. Hmm. Interesting.

P: I didn’t say, I didn’t, I didn’t say that. I just don’t wanna whack a weed that ain’t a weed. Ben, start living right. All that scary stuffs frying your brain.

S: Pete. Escobar. Do you have a reason for call-

P: Alright, pushy. Alright, you know what, I swear I ain't listening to you ever again, you browbeating ruffians. Nunca, nunca I tell you.

*hang up noise*

S: It’s gonna be a long night.

*sound of equipment powering down*

B: Look at the phone lines, we dropped all the calls. Line one? Hello? *silence* You’re on with King Falls? Nothing. We can’t fill four hours like this, Sammy.

S: I’ve got an idea. Give me your keys, Ben.

*sound of Sammy getting up*

B: This can’t be good.

S: Be right back.

B: Sammy. *moment of silence, followed by a door opening and closing* *singing* Stranded, at the drive in, branded a fool. *in normal voice* Yeah, I still got it. Okay folks, just, uh, lemme just check to see if our regular phones are working. Make a little call out. What’s this, a rotary phone? *dialing* Yeesh. *still dialing* *ringing*

Emily: Hello?

B: Hey Emily, it’s Ben. I hope I didn’t wake you?

E: Not at all, I'm listening. What’s going on with the show? And the electronics?

B: I know, right? I just wanna make sure you are, oh, uh, hey, we’re live by the way.

E: As live as can be, right?

B: Right. But yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay with all the weirdness happening tonight.

E: I'm fine. Thanks for thinking of me. Good thing I’ve got a landline, I guess.

B: If you didn’t, I would have had to come over to check.

E: Oh really? That’s an interesting thought.

B: Um. Yeah. Y’know. To make sure that you’re safe and sound. Like a gentleman.

E: Oh, of course.

B: Oh, uh, so, the other reason I called, um, in all your studies or research, do you ever recall any kind of electronic or, or, electromagnetic pulses here in the Falls?

E: Not to my knowledge. Obviously I’ll dig more into this later today at the library, but it’s new I think. Lucky us.

B: Lucky us.

*door opening and closing*

S: Alright, what’d I miss?

E: Hi Sammy!

S: Hi Emily. Hope you’re doing alright tonight.

B: Hey, I’ll call you later, okay?

E: Sounds like a plan.

B: Night! *hang up noise* Don’t look at me like that, Sammy.

S: I didn’t say a word. Crazy power outages and electrical malfunctions. Do you call your mom first? Your brother? Nope. you call your local librarian, Emily Potter.

B: So?

S: So it’s cute.

B: Whatever. What’re you up to over there?

S: Well, this is a record player borrowed from Mr. Chet Sebastian's office. This is not how we planned the evening, but, thank you Chet.

B: And?

S: Well, I figure since our fancy new high and mighty tech is out, that we’ll just have to bring back some old trusty reliable stuff to pass the time.

B: It’s a little telling that most of our broadcast equipment hasn’t gotten shut down.

S: Merv, take a note. Upgrade our WKRP radio shack so we can take a night off when everything goes belly up, huh?

B: Lemme mic that thing up.

S: Alright ladies and gents, you’re listening to King Falls AM, that’s 660 on the radio dial, with me as always my cohost Ben Arnold and this, this is a little Chet Sebastian jazz to help you through this weird ass night. Thanks for being a legend, sir.