#egolatra

Hombre ególatra, narcisista, de sentimientos vanos y egoístas; lograste tu objetivo, la enamoraste y obtuviste de ella lo que querías y hoy la desechas como pañuelo sucio, como cigarro extinguido, como hoja seca de otoño.

Solo fue una más para tu colección, otra más que apuntas a tu lista de conquistas y que hoy estorba porque no ofrece ya nada bueno o genere sorpresa alguna, emoción como la que te hacia sentir al principio.

Hoy la tiras, la pisas y vas por la siguiente.

En cambio ella, ella si que se enamoro de ti como una tonta.

Me llaman y me llamarán de mil maneras. Pero Soy como soy y no pretendo ser una versión de nadie ni una marioneta guiada por hilos ajenos; tengo voz, corazón y sé lo que merezco en esta vida para ser feliz.

Pensé mucho en postear esta nota, que ya tiene algo de tiempo que la escribí pero en su momento había decidido dejarla en el olvido, por la paz. 

Desde que comenzaba a adentrarme en este mundo de la ilustración y en cierta medida del arte, escuchaba comentarios por todos lados acerca de los egos enormes que pupulan entre todos y cada uno de los ámbitos artísticos. Y ciertamente me he encontrado con varios casos así, pero vaya, nunca me he llegado a enojar, ni frustrar, ni odiar... por escuchar comentarios ególatras. Incluso siempre busco lo atractivo e interesante de cada argumento y lo utilizo, cuando es posible, a mi favor. De mi probablemente han hablado y, como dice el dicho, “que hablen bien o mal, pero que hablen” (¡hablen de mi por favor, necesito atención!). Y siempre había creído que la gente más grande y profesional, la que comenzó desde cero, auténtica y en verdad trabajadora es la que menos se molesta ni le importan hacer comentarios de ese tipo. Pero veo que siempre puede haber alguna excepción, puesto que supongo no todos tenemos esa misma esencia. 

Quizá les parezca a algunos este post repetitivo, necio, “ardido” o que busco llamar de alguna manera la atención. Tengo mis razones para haberme decidido a postearlo finalmente, y espero que el inglés no sea impedimento para comprender mis motivos... Disculpen si lo escribo en este idioma, pero tenía que ser así por el objetivo y naturaleza del mismo post.

I never really do this kind of things; I consider one shouldn’t make “enemies” unnecessarily, and I think I shouldn’t give my opinion more than what is strictly necessarily. But I think in certain circumstances I take the risk to harm my soul if I don’t express what I think and would damage my integrity. So I’ll say what I have to say carefully, I think hiding is a bad idea.

I got an email from a popular illustrator a while ago, where she basically claimed I was “stealing her style”. Her name is Yuko Shimizu, a Japanese illustrator based in NY. It certainly surprised me when I read it, and knowing about her popularity, well, it certainly made me feel insecure about myself and made me have my doubts about my work. So I was thinking about this situation over and over, remembrating all those things and situations that were forging and enhancing the way my work look like, what made me came up with my style and also my REAL influences. I also asked the opinion to a couple of Art Directors (who also knew her work) from NY and, honestly, they didn’t agree with her. So, I kindly replied to her email in the most proper, respectful and nice way I could and gave my opinion to her, which, of course, differed to what she wrote (if you’d like to read that post, click HERE).

I’ve already posted a few of the original great masters who used that simple but precise and elegant stroking (like Shunbaisai Hokuei), where I took a bit from it to use in my own style.

Ya había posteado algunos de los grandes maestros originales quienes utilizaban ese simple pero preciso y elegante trazo (como Shunbaisai Hokuei), de donde tomé un poco de ello para usarlo en mi estilo.

Some occidental classical painters from different art movements such as Impressionism, Fauvism, Art Noveau, etc. took that king of stroking and colouring technique for their own painting styles “La Modiste”, from Alexandre Charpentier.

También varios pintores occidentales clásicos de varias corrientes como el Impresionismo, Fauvismo, Art Noveau... retomaron este tipo de trazo y coloreado para sus pinturas. “La Modiste”, de Alexandre Charpentier.

I sent the email. I didn’t know what to expect... if there was something to expect. I started to check my social network and, just after I sent the email, I found a post on her Facebook fan page where she was talking about this “creepy” guy (me) who copies her work in every detail he could, and even the videos he uploads are made exactly “in the same” way she does (yeah, in the same way most of illustrators do, with a mobile). Then, just after that, I realized she blocked me from all her social media. Yes, really. I found this reaction a bit strange for her... age. But most important, I really thought it was very inappropriate to talk about me with all of her followers like that.

I hoped she eventually would reply my email at least, which I think was the most reasonable and respectful thing to do instead of saying those crappy things about me in the internet. I waited, and waited for weeks, but the email never showed up. By that moment I didn’t want just to know what she thought about my email. What concerned me the most was what she was posting about me, the fact to post it without telling her thoughts directly to me, and that she may continue doing it (I wouldn’t be able to know because she blocked me). As I never received a response, I decided to write another email to her, this time regarding this issue, which I think I had all the right to ask for. Again, everything with all due respect and in the best proper way in my limited English knowledge (Spanish is my mother language). Then, I finally had a response from her. If it can be called a “response”. It was an angry and bitter email where she told me she didn’t reply because my email was “counter-accusatory, dismissive, shunning, and condescending“... And just because there was one guy who didn’t agree with her, which apparently was a “punch” to her ego. It looks like she took all the negative adjectives she could find in a dictionary and throw them to my face. Well, just in case you read this one day Yuko, I think most of them certainly describes your attitude instead.

I think there are quite a few artists out there that has a more similar style as hers (...or maybe the other way around?) . I wonder if she complains with them the same way she did it with me.. Pienso que hay varios artistas que tienen un estilo más similar al de ella (¿o al revés?). Me pregunto si ella se queja de ellos de la misma manera que lo hace conmigo..

I also found it quite insulting and totally out of place from her to tell me I couldn’t have written an email in the way I did, and, above that, my English shouldn’t be that fluent, so probably somebody else have written it for me. Well, at least I was making an effort to make it understandable for her, right? Instead, when I invited her to read my past post in my blog, where I copy-pasted her entire email HERE about my first concerns, my real references and influences of my stroking style through facts, quoting great artists (which I am sure are also some of her influences), hoping she could understand and try to keep this in the best terms as possible, she just said she wouldn’t waste her time reading it. Is that fair? Then, after this other email of hers, I decided to ignore it and let it go once and for all. It obviously seemed she was just fatuous, vacuous, angry and trying to defame me in a bad way. So I thought this will take us nowhere. That was a while ago. Nevertheless, this situation has been somehow at the back of my mind all this time...

The reason why I’m posting this came after a friend of mine sent a screenshot of a post where she tells her followers somebody else made a similar illustration as one she previously made. 

This could be true, and that happens all the time with illustrators, but her work is indeed very similar to one from an illustrator colleague, “el Moreno”, who made it before hers. I know there are many works that look similar as somebody else’s work, and most of us have used other works as reference, but it’s a complete different, dishonest and kinda hypocritical thing to be openly claiming “I’m using her style” after looking at her illustration compared with my colleague’s one. So this encouraged me to openly write my thoughts through this way, my social media, just as she did when talked about me.

I hope this post could reach her and hopefully she finally could have some time to read it. Written in English with no “extra help” Yuko.

One last thing: in case you’re reading this, I don’t know if you claim to everyone you feel has a similar style as yours, which I still don’t understand why it bothers you so much instead of looking at it as a compliment, or if you only did this to me. Yuko, you shouldn’t be angry or jealous about somebody else’s work. I don’t think it’s necessary to be like that. Your work is very good too, and surely I have many things in my style that are different from yours and viceversa, which makes us different and unique. And that’s absolutely a great thing! Please stop telling people that “I’m stealing your style”. As I said, your work is great, but I’m not even a big fan of your work. I think you’re  underestimating my skills. And no, I won’t stop posting my work (and videos) on my social media, by the way.

I think the best way to finish my post is quoting the same phrase she wrote in her email: “If I get a reply from you, it’s great. If I don’t, then that’s that. No sweat. But I hope you think about what I wrote”. So, that’s my answer.

Si, a veces también escribo con seriedad, cuando es necesario. Animemos el momento con esta rola de Corine y sigamos chambeando, que hay que pagar estos malditos vicios y excesos.

Y rompimos porque ella era la protagonista y nadie podía hacerle sombra...