#dyspraxia problems

cw a little all caps at the end

Being dyspraxic affects all my motor skills (any movement I make) and my motor planning (my ability to plan a movement out) both are below average for my age. It also impacts my spatial awareness and sensory processing. Meaning that all of my senses are sensitive, and I have low spatial awareness.

This manifests as executive dysfunction, slowness in my movement, fumbling objects I'm holding or trying to pick up. There's also the fact that I will just flat out forget how to do seemingly simple actions, like making a coffee or knocking on a door. It becomes something I have to manually talk myself through, e.g knocking on a door becomes: "okay, close hand, pull it back SLIGHTLY, knock on the door, OK well not that hard lol, stop knocking, put your hand down, I SAID PUT YOUR HAND DOWN ALREADY"

Everyday I need to concentrate on where my body is, how my hands are moving, how small or big a movement needs to be, etc. It's exhausting. I think the word to sum up dyspraxia is: Concentration.

And all these symptoms get harder to deal with if I'm stressed, there's a short time limit, and if I'm tired.

But I think being dyspraxic increases my empathy for those that are also slow learners, or when people fumble objects/struggle to unlock a door with keys, any number of "simple" actions I'm able to understand that NO it isn't as easy as it looks.

I'm relieved to get a diagnosis and finally have a name and terms for what I struggle with. I can find a community of people that understand what it's like to put a lot of effort into everyday actions.