Neurodivergant

Oh friend, oh goodness gracious. I am so sorry you are feeling upset. My sympathies to you truly.  I think a lot of undiagnosed girls feel this way. A lot of neurodivergent girls if they are lucky enough to be diagnosed with anything get diagnosed with ADHD before they find out about autism. 

I am especially sympathetic because I got talked to about ADHD years before anyone ever told me about autism. 

Parents obviously play a blockade for minors especially if they aren’t open to those sort of topics. If it is important to you however I would surely recommend pursuing it in adulthood. It might be more difficult but I think it would be good for you. 

I didn’t find out until I was basically an adult, and I was so damn upset, so you cry all you want hun. But, the brightside is, you don’t have to think about what you missed out, you can focus on all the things you can get right from this moment forward! 

If you know about your struggles you can help make accomadations for them, you can talk to people about things you struggle with even if you don’t call it autism! 

I feel you have a right be upset, 100% , but I just hope you don’t feel like it’s hopeless because there is hope. It may feel crappy right now but I think you’ll be happy you found the connection someday. 

You can talk to me anytime, my asks are open! Or, my message box! Please do not feel that you can’t. 

Hi friend, 

Wow that sounds like a tough situation. I am glad you guys are managing to work some things out though! I hope your parents can work together when it really matters; when it’s you. I am sorry this has been so stressful for you. I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world. <3

Also side note, I always heard September kids got exception when it cam to school admission but I’ve never actually met someone who did! Very neat, sorry if that seems weird. It’s just the alligator down the toilet story of school! :) 

(2/2 Fox) Very small inconveniences cause me to 'meltdown' if I can say that and I become non-verbal. I worry about pursuing a diagnosis bc my bf is autistic and I'm not sure how he would feel. I don't want to 'steal' his thing, even though he doesn't talk about it much, and i dont want to undermine him by saying I think I might be on the spectrum? If you happen to know anything about getting help in the UK id be happy to hear it. Thank you 😊

Hello friend, 

Me too first of all :)    Next,

I understand your concerns about your boyfriend, when people around us have issues it can often times feel like to say “I have this issue too” seems like stealing it or not taking their problems seriously enough. 

I would like to assure you that it is not. If you discover something about yourself later then I’m sure those who love you would support you. Maybe seeing your boyfriend made you realize this about yourself. I think there is a stronger likelyhood that he would be happy for you than the likelyhood he would not.  Either way, don’t be afraid to seek answers because of how others may respond. :)

Second, I know its hard to tell me much in 500 characters or less, but I would just like to point out that the information you prioritized seems more emotionally related. Although autistic’s can have difficulties with executive functions such as impulsivity and emotional control that is just a fraction of the experience. 

Behaviors seen with impulse control issues such as drinking, eating, and shopping are more commonly described in other conditions. As well as stronger emotional receptivity to “very small inconveniences.” 

Of course, I can’t tell much from a message. But I would be more then willing to talk to you some more about your symptoms to help you personally and or ready yourself for an assessment. You can message me personally or if not spam me some anons. I don’t mind.

I am not from the UK myself, but from what I understand from my favorite UK blogs, because of your healthcare systems design, you will first have to talk to your GP and tell them you would like an assessment for autism and the reasons why. After that they should be able to refer you to someone who can properly test you. I hear in the UK the wait time is pretty steep so I highly recommend doing that as soon as you decided to get assessed. 

Hello friend,

I know it can be daunting to ask someone what they want and I find a lot of them aren’t always understanding of “not getting it”. 

My first bit of advice is to ask what he wants done. Instead of saying “I can’t do things if you don’t request them” which, you’re right, will likely be be misconstrued, try asking him to help create a schedule or list of things he wants done every week. 

Most NT’s are adamant that “good folk” ask to do things uninitiated. Of course, our ND brain doesn’t think that way so it makes us seem “rude/uncaring.” So if option 1 doesn’t work for you then option 2 is:  to make it apart of your daily routine, say after you get home from school (as an example) ask him, “Hey dad is there anything I can do around the house for you?”

He will more than likely be appreciative in your interest in helping around the house and showing care, and you can have some direction. 

Lastly, if none of the above are options then my last suggestion is; if your dad refuses to tell you what he wants done specifically then you should draft your own schedule.

Create a chore schedule for the week. listing things you can do but don’t already do. There are tons of online resources detailing possible chores needed to be done around houses. Whether it’s exactly what he wants who knows, but most folk would appreciate the effort to contribute. 

Hi Friend, 

Alertness can in fact be related to autism. If you feel that a big part of why you become alert is the multiple sensory inputs such as loud noises, lots of lights, moving objects such as cars and people than I would say a lot of us get this experience. 

However, if you feel at all like leaving your house or being in public areas etc. is causing your anxiety or distress and not really for the reasons discussed above I would say that is a very common anxiety thing, with multiple different causes.

If your main focus when going outside is the people around you and keeping an eye on them I would ask if you have social anxiety (as the most common cause of this response.) 

Another, admittedly less likely scenario, if you have had any traumatic issues “hyper-vigilance” is a common trait that can occur, although more specifically relating to the cause of distress but it can manifest differently. 

If it doesn’t bother you I would say it’s fine, some people just find it more stressful to be outside of a controlled area where you can be yourself, but if it causes you distress I would evaluate why it happens.

Hello friends! I am very excited about how well I feel my blog has been doing and am very proud. My notes have hit new peaks in the thousands and I never dreamed that I would finally be doing what I have wanted to do for years.

I don’t know who really checks my blog or if I have any frequent people but, I talked about the things I wanted to do with this blog during the summer that I haven’t delivered on. I Feel disappointed that I haven’t been delivering my original content like promised and I wanted to talk about some personal things that have been effecting me recently that aren’t really blog theme related.

First, although neurodiversity related issues such as adhd and autism are the theme of this blog my issues don’t end there. One of the issues I have struggled with very hard is anxiety; I have multiple anxiety disorders that impact me a lot.

I want to do well with my blog and make an impact. I want to not only make you laugh but help everyone understand these issues and maybe themselves a little bit better. But, writing a blog can be a bit daunting. What you say are things you can’t take back and are a reflection of your blog and even you that can carry on.

When my anxiety spikes, this blog can be stressful for me because I don’t want to screw up and say something wrong. I don’t want to give the wrong advice, or offend someone, produce ignorant facts or any number of other things. Sometimes this makes me tentative to post new material. Not only this but trying to keep up the quality control I try to have.

Secondly, something that I don’t think gets talked about in the neurodiversity community enough is how hard it can be for some of us to produce written content at all. By the time I post content I have rewritten it anywhere from 3-12 times over.

From the inability to summarize information or differentiate irrelevant information from critical details to spelling and grammar mistakes it takes a lot of tries to produce good content. Half of the time mistakes aren’t the kind Word can catch, such as skipped words or conjoining words etc.

This means that I have to continuously re-read over and over and even have others check my details for me to make sure what I am saying is accurate and coherent. Even then I often find simple errors in my writing after I post them.

Third, recently there has been a very serious concern in my family that has had us all stressed. I don’t get along with my family the greatest to begin with, but I also wanted to be there during what could adequately be called a family crisis. I don’t want to go into detail, but it has been a very stressful couple months, but thankfully everything is okay for now with regards to that.

Lastly, I have had my own stressful adventure with physical health concerns. I have a number of strange issues which have gone unaddressed for a long time and last month it felt like they all sort of boiled over at once. I have been in the E.R. (nothing serious don’t worry.) and trying to get different doctors appointments so I can finally get some answers and hopefully be far less stressed out about it.

All and all, this have impacted my content on Tumblr. which is by far the biggest sadness for me at current time. I just wanted to let you all know that I have no intention of leaving Tumblr. Or taking a leave from my blog at current time. It may be a bit sporadic for a period, but I have a whole file of posts I am wanting to make but need help editing into “final edit” quality and so they can be posted.

This blog is meaningful to me. It may be small right now, but it is important to me and I have ambitions that I intend to carry out at some point soon. I hope anyone reading this is understanding and will continue to support this blog. I look forward to my return into full swing.

2/2 my parents do but I don’t want to ask specifically because my dad is already upset that I haven’t done things. But I know he’ll laugh or tease if I tell him I don’t know *how* to do the things. And it’s stressing me out because I keep missing deadlines that I don’t know I have because it’s only me working on things and if there’s too much my brain deletes things and I have no access to records. I don’t know what to do and it’s making me really stressed and I just want it to be done emi

Oh my god friend I am so sorry I didn’t realize this was you who messaged me otherwise I wouldn’t have put if off!!!

I am sorry you are in this position. college is a really big change and it’s a lot to handle, let alone without support from those around you. 

I know you have been struggling with possibly being neurodivergant and so your family doesn’t likely know so you can’t ask for help that way.

I don’t know what your family situation is, or how your family might react, but if you are struggling with this I really think you should ask for help. I understand the difficulties with family members who don’t understand your problems and might laugh, but if they are at least somewhat reasonable it might be worth it.

In my experience most families help with college, but if yours aren’t then maybe you need to talk to them head on and lay it out on the table? say, hey! I’m really overwhelmed and I don’t know what I’m doing, i could really use a dad/mom/guardian right now to help me! 

I find that when confronted by the totality of a child’s struggle parents find more compassion. He may not be understanding if you just say, “I don’t know” but if you tell him about how you’re feeling and struggling a lot with this he might come around. 

If that isn’t an option a different close family member such as an aunt, grandparent, or older cousin? If not that try reaching out to your college about your difficulty with all the paperwork I know a lot of colleges or even local community center and job centers have support staff to help with all of the confusing crazy. 

As for the medical records, you’re an adult now you can call and request them. 

I am so sorry you are stressed out friend, i really am. But hopefully once you get through this rough patch you will be able to enjoy college and regain a sense of stability. I really am wishing you lots of luck and warm feelings, know that i am thinking about you!