#drv1

pain.

that was all you felt anymore.

not the dull ache of hunger from another missed meal in fear of getting targeted if you stepped out, not the heightened anxiety of monokuma’s new motive announcements echoing through the halls, not even the cold bite of the tiled floor beneath your knees. just pain—endless, clawing through every vein like the despair that had finally won.

the trial was over. in the end, you managed to survive along the rest of your classmates. but at what cost? sakura was gone.

being in the courtroom was torture. you could barely hold onto reality as the others argued nonstop over who had murdered her and why? she didn’t do anything wrong. she was a protector who defended those who needed it most. she protected you from the suffocating despair that threatened to poison your mind and flood into your senses. she was your safe place. an anchor you could always rely on as she never failed to provide light in this hell of a miserable place. all the way until her last breath.

and now that warmth is gone. because sakura poisoned herself.

saw death as her only escape after being blackmailed for the mastermind’s will. as a way to repent for having obeyed so long and betrayed every one of you. she was slowly getting dragged deeper underwater in an never-ending ocean, chained to a role she never asked for but was forced to have. until that chain clinked and she ended up drowning instead of breaking free.

the burn in your throat remains harsh from how desperate you screamed her name upon seeing her still body in that room. and that smile. hell, that smile will stay engraved in your mind forever. even as she was dying, sakura died with a smile that said, “now you all won’t have to suffer more because of me.”

you begged the others to do something—anything—as your knees were close to buckling and leave you on the verge of simply collapsing to the floor and let the coldness consume you entirely. but the gavel fell, the execution screen stayed dark because there was no execution needed. at least, not of an actual person. to worsen the situation, alter ego was crushed to bits. a clear mockery done by monokuma, now that the only possible chances of escape were gone in an instant.

even so, sakura had done the execution herself.

and now the dormitory corridors felt like a graveyard. her room was untouched, training gear still folded neatly on the bed like she might walk back in any second. the protein shakes she loved so dearly remained still on a small table nearby. you couldn’t breathe in there. couldn’t breathe anywhere.

so you sat on the cold floor of the empty bathhouse corridor—somewhere no one ever came anymore—back against the wall, knees drawn up. the fluorescent lights buzzed overhead like dying insects. your hands trembled as they rose to wrap around your neck.

“i can’t do this without you, sakura…” the words scraped out hoarsely, broken. your voice didn’t even sound like yours anymore.

your fingers slowly lifted to press against your own throat—light at first, testing. the skin was warm in life, pulse still beating under the touch. you despised it.

“please…why did you have to go?”

another inch of pressure. just a little more. your vision began to blur at the edges and despite so, thumbs dug in under your jaw, fingertips sliding to the sides where her strong hands used to guide yours during the training sessions she offered to give you as comfort. coughing forced its way up, but you pushed through it, hating yourself for the instinctive gasp that followed. why were you still scared? why did your body keep fighting when your mind had already decided? sakura hadn’t hesitated. she’d written her note, drank the poison, and left the rest of you to live with the choice she made to protect everyone.

tears burned tracks down your cheeks as you squeezed harder. the world narrowed to the roar in your ears, the frantic thud of your own heart fighting back. air thinned. your lungs jerked, demanding oxygen you refused to give.

“why did you leave me here alone?” you barely managed to choke out, tears streaming hotter now. your grip tightened until black spots danced across your sight, body trashing weakly against your own hands. the rope you brought earlier was right there—to loop it, stand on a chair, make it quick like she did. make the pain stop. make the emptiness stop. and finally, reunite with her in death.

you were so close. the floor tilted nonstop, animal instinct screaming as lightheadedness was about to take over. one more second and—

“y/n!”

frantic footsteps burst through the door stumbling—slammed down the corridor. a blur of a black blazer and messy brown hair dropped to his knees in front of you. hands grabbed your wrists, yanking them away from your throat with surprising strength for someone so soft-spoken.

makoto.

his face swam into view, eyes wide with raw panic. his breath came in short gasps, blood running cold at the sight. no. he couldn’t handle seeing another lifeless body. he didn’t want to, especially not yours. “y/n—what—what are you doing?!” his voice broke on your name, shaky the way it got during trials when he was trying not to cry. his fingers trembled against your skin as he pried your hands down, pinning them gently but firmly to your sides. “stop—please, just stop!”

you tried to twist away, but he was stronger than he looked when panic fueled him, fingers wedged between yours and your throat, forcing them apart inch by agonizing inch. the sudden rush of relief burned you like fire, coughing violently the second the pressure released, oxygen rushing back in painful gulps. tears wouldn’t stop. the place kept spinning. sakura’s face flashed behind your eyes—her proud smile after you finally landed a solid kick, the way she’d ruffled your hair and called you “little warrior” even though you shook in fear. it was too painful. every memory shared together was like a knife dragging deeper across your heart.

you collapsed forward, forehead hitting his shoulder as open sobs tore out of you. “i can’t—makoto, i can’t—she’s fucking gone, makoto. i never got to say goodbye!”

he didn’t let you pull back. arms wrapped around you instantly, one hand cradling the back of your head, the other pressing between your shoulder blades like he could hold all the broken pieces together by sheer will. and if he could, he’d take all your pain in a heartbeat.

his whole body trembled against yours. “i thought—i heard you from the hall and i thought—” his voice cracked badly, raw and terrified in a way you’d never heard from the boy who always found a way to keep hope alive. “don’t. please don’t. not you too...i...i can’t lose you.”

you tried to shove him away, refusing to give in that easily. it wouldn’t bring her back. she never will. “she’s gone. she’s really gone. she left me...she left all of us—and i can’t keep pretending like there’s any point—”

“i know. i know it hurts.” makoto’s grip tightened. you felt his tears soaking into your hair. “i saw her too. i stood there and couldn’t save her either.” his voice dropped to a whisper, shaky but refusing to break completely as he tried to give the comfort you needed right now. “but she didn’t leave us to follow her, y/n. she left us to keep going. she chose death so the rest of us could have a chance at life. if you do this…despair wins. monokuma wins. sakura’s sacrifice means nothing if we all just…give up.”

it takes you back to all the times you spent together with her.

the gym, weeks ago. sakura spotting you on the pull-up bar, standing behind to catch you in case your arms gave out from exertion. “you’re stronger than you think,” she said at the time, encouraging with that proud soft smile. “even if the world tries to break you, you keep standing. that’s what friends do.” you laughed then, sweat dripping, calling her a softie under all that muscle. she just ruffled your hair and told you to do ten more.

another memory; late night in the kitchen, only the two of you after a new motive announcement. she shared her protein bar with you while waiting for the tea to steep. “if despair ever wins…promise me you won’t let it take you in that moment. fight. for me.” you promised. you’d promised without hesitation because you were sure the both of you would make it out alive. taken her word for granted having no idea in the slightest of her own problems crawling around in her mind.

and now you have broken it in your desperate attempt of seeing her again.

you sobbed harder, fists bunching in his blazer. “it hurts too much. every second without her—it’s like the world ended and i’m the only one still trapped in the rubble.”

“i know.” makoto repeated gently, pulling back just enough to cup your face, thumbs brushing tears away even as his own kept rolling down his cheeks. his eyes—those stupidly hopeful hazel eyes—were red-rimmed and shattered. “i feel it too. every night i lie awake wondering if tomorrow someone else will be gone. if it’ll be you. or kyoko. or even me.” a broken sound escaped him. “but then i remember what she stood for. strength. loyalty. protecting the people she loved even when it cost her everything. she believed in us. in hope. even here.”

he pressed his forehead to yours, voice barely audible. “so please...i’m begging you. stay, y/n. for her. for the version of you she saw—the one who trained until their hands bled because they refused to be weak...” then, amidst his tears and discolored face due to panic he added a quiet, almost shy, “...for me.”

the tiled floor was freezing against your back as he gently lowered you both down, never once letting go. you lay there, limp, still broken, his body curled around yours like a shield. makoto’s arm moved until it rested across your waist, the other cradling your head against his chest. his heartbeat hammered under your ear—fast, terrified but starting to steady as he held you tight.

there you lay, on that cold floor with makoto by your side, his arms wrapped around you as though his heartbeat alone could remind yours how to keep going. the rope still lay forgotten a few feet away, the black spots in your vision slowly faded. grief didn’t vanish—it sat heavy in your chest like a stone—but for the first time since the trial, it felt… survivable.

barely.

“i’m scared,” you admitted into his shirt.

“i’m scared too,” he answered in returned honesty. “but we’re still here. and as long as we are…there’s still a chance. she gave us that.”

breathing in his scent, sakura’s voice echoed in your mind one last time, softer now. “get up, little warrior. even when the world wants you on your knees.”

makoto’s hand stroked through your hair as gentle as he could. “we’ll get through today. then tomorrow, and the day after, too. for her.”

you didn’t answer, not yet. but your fingers curled weakly into his hoodie instead of reaching to harm yourself again.