#doyle arc

Call #1

Derek threw a rubber ball into the air, catching it. "So how are things over there?"

On the other end of the line, Hotch barely hesitated. "Hot. Any new cases recently?"

"Yeah, we had a serial in Manassas. 3 victims. Found the unsub, shut it down, saved the fourth victim," he recapped, saving the actual details of the case. These calls weren't long enough for that. "I've got Y/N scanning to see what we're doing next."

There was a pause. No profiler wouldn't have noticed. Then— "How is she?"

They both heard the way he asked, like he didn't want to. Like he knew he shouldn't, but couldn't help himself. 

Morgan sighed. "She's fine," he said. Knowing Hotch wouldn't be satisfied with that, he added, "She's working." He left out the part where you drank in Hotch's office the day you found out he left, or how your concealer didn't cover the sleepless nights anymore.

"Working," Hotch repeated, sounding like he was testing the word, trying to figure out what it meant. He cleared his throat. "Right. Would you get her on the line next time? I'd like to speak to her."

Morgan agreed, "Yeah, I'll tell her." He didn't say that he didn't think you'd want to be there, and he didn't say why.

They both knew why.

"Update me on the next case."

"Will do."

Call #2

Derek started setting up the phone to call Hotch when you walked into his office.

"Hey, Morgan, I think I have a case for us," you said, glancing down at your tablet. You were settling into this new role seamlessly, fulfilling multiple responsibilities simultaneously without taking credit. Derek made a mental note to talk to you about that.

He looked up at you, knowing the case would have to wait. "I'll look at it in a sec." Remembering Hotch's request to him, he held the phone out to you. "I'm about to have Hotch on a secure line. You can brief him on the case, too, if you want?"

He saw the second your face dropped and knew automatically what your answer would be. He'd already brought it up to you before, and Hotch had asked to speak to you two phone calls ago, but your answer would still be no.

"No, that's alright. I'll e-mail you the file."

You were turning around before your name could even finish exiting his mouth, leaving him to sigh. 

He didn't blame you for not wanting to call. He just didn't know how to explain that to his boss. He wasn't sure if you knew how to explain it, either.

He began to dial the number, anyway. Hotch answered on the third ring. 

"Hotchner."

"Hey, man. We're about to take a case." He opened his tablet, finding your e-mail instantly. "Kentucky."

"Okay. Has Strauss spoken to you at all?"

Morgan's face contorted in displeasure, knowing he'd have to say your name. "No. Barely. Y/N's been handling all administrative communications."

Yet another pause from Hotch, even though he normally had rapid-fire questions. Derek used that opportunity to skate around the potential questions about why you weren't there. "The rest of the team is fine. Reid's bouncing back, I think. Garcia's picking up new hobbies like they're stuffed animals. Rossi's... Rossi."

"And Seaver?"

Derek almost forgot about her. "She transferred over to Domestic Trafficking. Swann requested her." He shrugged. "It's tough with a team of 4, but we're making ends meet." 

Derek didn't mean for that to be a jab, but the way Hotch inhaled slightly told him it came off that way, anyway.

Hotch didn't mention it. "Okay. Call me if anything happens."

Derek nodded like Hotch could see him, already getting up to head to the briefing. "I will."

Call #3

"JJ's back with the team. She's training to be a profiler," Derek said. "It's the only way the brass allowed her back. We argued we needed someone with previous profiling experience, and JJ had just the right amount."

Both Morgan and Hotch knew that when he said 'we,' he meant you. But Hotch didn't question that. "Okay, that sounds fine. It's good for the team."

"It is. I'm surprised the State let it happen." Another thing Morgan left out was that, even if it was good for the team, he wasn't sure it was good for you. But he was getting good at leaving those details out. He felt less bad each time.

But Hotch knew better. "How's Y/N taking it?" he asked.

Derek closed his eyes. Of course, he'd know. He wondered why Hotch would leave if he knew you so well, but many of his questions didn't have answers these days.

"She's... adjusting," he responded. "It's a pretty big jump. But she's doing most of the communications work. JJ only helps here and there."

"Does she need the help?" He was still asking about you.

Derek didn't have to think about his answer. "No. She's a natural for this kind of stuff. It's like she's been doing it her whole life." 

He wondered how often you had to clean up messes or spin stories to get so good at it. He figured Hotch would have better insight.

You worked for Hotch when he was still a prosecutor. He knew you. He knew what leaving would do to you after so many changes had already happened within the team.

But he did it, anyway.

In that regard, Morgan could understand why you refused to take part in these phone calls. He understood why you were sitting in your office at that very moment, knowing this call was taking place, yet you still kept your distance.

His cellphone chimed with a message, making him look down at it. It was listed with your contact.

Case.

The call had to be cut short. "Hey, we just got a case. I have to go."

Hotch said the same thing he said every time. "Okay. Update me with what happens."

"Got it."

Call #4

Derek tapped the telephone against the desk rhythmically. He didn't want to make this call. But he knew he had to.

He brought the phone to his ear, clicking the numbers the way he always did. Three rings.

"Hotchner."

"It's Morgan," he greeted. "We finished up that case in Charleston."

"And? How'd it go?"

Derek hesitated. "Y/N ended up taking the unsub down."

He could hear Hotch's face twist through the phone. "Y/N?"

Morgan wet his lips and then he started explaining himself. "Unsub was Carter Wilson. We profiled he'd be irritable, insecure. We had him at his house, but he had the victim there. Our best bet was to send a woman in, and JJ was at his workplace. Y/N insisted—it was our only option."

He told himself that you insisted, that it was their only option, but he knew it was his call. It was his call that got you— "Was she hurt?" Hotch questioned. Not if Vanessa Peters was alive. Not if the unsub was alive. 

You.

Derek didn't sugarcoat anything. "Yes. The unsub cut her while she was taking him down. She ended up shooting him with her second gun."

Morgan knew exactly where you got the inspiration to keep a gun on your ankle. So did Hotch.

Hotch sighed. "She shouldn't be in harm's way," he said. It sounded like he was reprimanding you and Morgan as much as he was reprimanding himself.

"I know," Derek admitted. There was no other way to put it. But these were the risks of being in the BAU. The risk of being in the field meant you could get hurt. The risk of being given sidearms was that you'd eventually use them. But it was better than the risk of you not having a gun at all.

"Is she okay?"

Derek's lips twitched upward. This was the first time he felt like he didn't have to lie about your mental state. "Yeah. She was all smiles after."

Pause. Then, Hotch echoed, "That sounds like her." It was you.

It was all you.

Morgan and Hotch ended up being on the phone longer that night, even though not many words were said.

Call #5

"How's the team doing?" Hotch started.

Derek blew a breath through his lips. "Good. They're settling into a rhythm now." Rhythm. He tried not to think of how you danced with him in his office, how you kissed him as the beat dropped. He tried not to think of ride or die, or this is real for me.

It felt wrong, like betrayal. He knew there wasn't really anything to betray, nothing with a label, but there was something. Something neither you nor Hotch named. And so he felt guilty.

But he knew that, if Hotch found out in that moment, he couldn't apologize. He wouldn't. Not after finally finding out what it was like to kiss you. Not when Hotch had the chance and left.

So, really, he felt guilty for not feeling guilty enough.

"That's good," Hotch replied, not making any moves to extend it beyond that.

Morgan knew it was only a matter of seconds before he asked about you. It was never if—always when. So he spared Hotch the trouble and said, "L/N's been doing really good handling the press and local police." Using your last name was a form of distance; he could still feel your name on his lips from that morning. 

Hotch didn't need to know that. 

Slowly, Morgan told him, "I'm thinking of offering her the gig full time."

He was met with silence on the other end. He knew what he was proposing. He wanted to give you a position where you could be fully recognized for what you did. But doing so would also give you a position independent of Hotch.

Hotch had been doing this job with you for so long that Derek didn't know if he'd be able to do it without you. 

That's why he didn't think Hotch would even entertain the idea, let alone say yes. But when his voice sounded, softer than Morgan had ever heard it, he was proven wrong.

"I think that's a great idea."

Call #6

"Morgan, I didn't authorize this."

Derek fought the urge to sigh, jumping to defend himself and the cause he was arguing for. "I know you didn't, Hotch, but listen to me. I think Doyle may have found Declan, too."

Hotch responded just the way Morgan expected him to. "Alright, I'm coming back."

"You want me to wait?" he questioned.

"Morgan, it could be a trap. You make sure you have eyes on Doyle."

"And if it is him?"

"Then you take the shot."

"Okay." Derek hung up the phone thereafter, planning to go tell the rest of the team all the while thinking about what this meant. He was going to go find Doyle. And Hotch was coming back.

He didn't know what that meant for you—for the both of you.

You and Derek had been living in this pause, under the assumption that things would resume. It was the pause before Hotch would ask about you over the phone. The pause before JJ declared Emily was dead. The pause before you told him to kiss you again.

Now, Hotch was coming back, and that changed things.

The pause was over.

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