#dispatch alice

Roadtrip with the girlies

Or that one time where Robert brought his kids to work and Chad nearly had a heart attack.

The chaos began innocently.

You set the toddlers down in their play pen for just a moment because Robert wanted to "show" you something, in reality he just needed you alone. It will take one second he said.

One second.

And suddenly—

Five soft, fluffy, wiggly baby bunnies were hopping across the SDN floor having escaped the play pen.

Not toddlers.

Not children.

Literal. Tiny. Bunny. Babies.

Ears flopping.

Tails poofing.

Little paws tapping the floor at Mach 3.

Chad (Flambae) looked over, saw one bunny hop directly under a desk chair’s wheel, and SCREAMED.

“NO ONE MOVE!”

Everyone in SDN froze on instinct.

Chad threw his arms wide like he was stopping traffic on a freeway.

“If you move even an INCH you’ll CRUSH THEM!” he shouted, voice cracking with real terror.

Malevola gasped.“Oh my GOD—LOOK AT THE TINY ONE WITH THE LOPSIDED EAR.”

Punch Up froze mid-step, arms up like he was being arrested. "I can’t move! I’ll step on a wee one!”

Sonar clung to the ceiling rafters. "TELL THEM NOT TO COME NEAR MY FEET—MY FEET ARE A HAZARD!”

Alice flapped her hands uselessly. "What do we DO?!”

“WE WAIT FOR THE PARENTS,” Chad said dramatically he then twirled around to point at Courtney.“NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS. NOT EVEN BLINKING.”

“We can blink, Chad,” Courtney snapped.

“NO BLINKING!” Chad barked. “THEIR LIVES DEPEND ON IT!”

Herman. "I already broke the rule.”

Robert entered the hallway and froze like someone hit the pause button, the coffee in his hand falling to the ground.

His five bunny kids were bouncing all over:

• One hopped in a circle.

• One gnawed on a shoe.

• One stood on its hind legs, staring up at him proudly.

• One rolled over like a fuzzy potato.

• One was hopping dangerously close to Flambae’s foot.

Robert’s face went white.

“Oh hell—”He dropped to his knees.“Kids—kids—come here—come to Daddy—COME HERE—no no not that way—DON’T GO UNDER THE JANITOR CART—!”

You hurried in behind him.

The moment the toddlers saw you, all five bunnies squeaked loudly and stampeded toward you.

A wave of soft, squeaky, fluffy doom.

Robert dove aside.

Flambae screamed.

Courtney climbed onto a desk.

The bunnies hopped onto you in a perfect fluffy pile, little noses twitching, tiny ears flopping against your chest as they wiggled and snuggled.

Your long ears curled affectionately around them.You beamed.“Hi, babies.”You looked at the team.“They really like hopping. Sorry.”

And Chad...well Chad had a Meltdown, the man fell to his knees, going through an emotional crisis“You can’t just—just—LET THEM RUN AROUND!” he cried.“THEY’RE THE SIZE OF—OF—CANDY BARS!”

Courtney wheezed. "Did you just compare their kids to Snickers?”

“THEY COULD BE STEPPED ON LIKE SNACKS!”

Punch Up nodded solemnly. "Aye, they are smol. Very smol.”

Chase walked in, saw the bunny pile on you, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“…Robert,” he said slowly, “you need to start wearing protection...or pull out or something man."

“CHASE...SHUT...UP.”

⸻

Robert carefully gathered the bunnies into his arms, as a tired father would.They squirmed, kicked, squeaked, and tried to hop away again.

He held them in a big fluffy armful, face dead and tired.

“How do we keep having this problem?” he muttered.

You kissed his cheek.He blushed behind his apathetic scowl.

Blonde Blazer clasped her hands. "They are… ADORABLE.”

Courtney hummed tilting her head. "They look like living stuffed animals.”

Sonar, still clinging to the rafters. "I do not want them near me. They fearlessly approach danger. They are tiny chaos imps.”

Robert sighed deeply, a deep resigned sigh.“Yeah,” he said, “they get that from their mother.”

You smiled sweetly.

Your fluffy tail wagged.

Chad pointed at you, then held you like one would do to a little sibling.“DO NOT BLAME HER! SHE’S PERFECT!”

That is until he gets hit with some fuckers powers that lower inhibition and makes you really giddy and loopy and hes just all smiles and affection with the team.

Robert: You guys did wonderful out there, no casualties and you took down that weirdo so well today.

Sonar: Who the hell are you and what did you do with Robert.

Robert: oh just take the compliment batty, bat boy, Harvard bat-chelor. Hehe

Prism: Sonar what the fuck did you give him?? Are you high?? Wait did you get hit by that fucker’s weird friendship power?

Robert: oh I think so. You’re so observant Alice, and smart, to have caught that Im so proud of you.

Prism, about to cry for some reason: BITCH THE FUCK—

Invisigal: oh my god this is hilarious. Robert you gotta stop you’re gonna short circuit everyone!

Robert: oh Visi, sweetie, Courtney you did a great job going behind that guy and tripping him!

Invisigal, suddenly flushed: sweetie?

Flambae, pushing her to the side: hey, hey do me next asshole

Robert: oh hmm. Flammy, flam, Flambae…

Flambae: yes, yes, tell me how great I am—

Flambae uses his power to help soothe Robert's scar pain

His name is not fucking Chad.

Prism will take pics or videos during spicy fun times

Waterboy is self lubricating and has no gag reflex.

Punch Up and Coupé are a team. Always.

Phenomaman is Beef's dogsitter

Golem has a kaiju baby to take care of now

Sonar was mind controlled during episode 7 and 8

my fellow prism/waterboy enjoyers where are you at? 👀✨

if there’s one ship dynamic I love it’s ‘the coolest most amazing most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen’ & ‘the loser (affecrionate) that makes her laugh’

Siren-boy.

Close ups under da cut