I think the trick to liking Episode 5 ("Hyde and Woe Seek") of the new season is to be really fucking high
Like really high.
Because they treated it all like a fucking comedy when it's supposed to be darker...but yanno it's kinda hot when Enid and Wednesday squabble like that, so I get the Wenclair thing
Traces of Meanid lie beneath cocky Enid. You go, girl
but THEN you have the retarded Hyde confrontation scene where yanno,
Bianca coulda just used her fucking siren song to subdue Tyler
oh but that would be far too goddamn much like the Nightshades Tyler confrontation of Season 1
when Bianca used her fucking siren song to subdue Tyler
nooo
Wednesday said, "Hey, you know what, besties. How about instead of Bianca subduing this dangerous Hyde motherfucker (who almost ripped mine and Enid's heads off) with her siren song, let's try something entirely different and much weaker for the challenge? Kent wielding a sword against that ten foot ape-man with the Charlie Kirk teeth? Dude won't make sushi out of his weak little girly ass, no siree have faith in my stealthy 4' 11" stature that will yell out its name (sorry, that was after) step as cautiously as agnes does around fester, these clogs give me two inches"
ETA: but it all ends up being okay anyway because instead of Tyler popping onto Enid's body and gutting her like he did Rowan, he moved like he was treading tar
Jesus Christ, talk about terrible decisions. I bet that's why Enid's so pissy. Her idiot girlfriend is too much of an arrogant fuckface
No but for real. Why in fuck is this shit with Tyler even happening unless she liked him enough to keep him under her thumb? Just like Marilyn...✨GASPS✨ WYLER IS JUST GATESMONSTER IN A LOWER KEY
You see this is already written into the fabric of Afterburn 8.1...I fully believe that this would be an abusive relationship nonetheless (but not from Tyler's POV like that 4B idiot on TikTok yammers on about); Wednesday is the one who would be keeping him enslaved to her, and that makes her just like Laurel Gates. Kinda gross
But yanno if anyone can write gross, it's Millar and me. The only difference is that I realize when I'm doing it LOL
OH OH AND I KEEP FORGETTING TO MENTION THAT I HATE THE FUCKING FOAM JIM HENSON MUPPET LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS FEED ME SEYMOUR CARNIVOROUS PLANTS IN THE DAMN GREENHOUSE HOW FUCKING DARE THEY INSULT OUR INTELLIGENCE WITH THOSE FUCKING OVEN MITT MOTHERFUCKERS DID YOU THRIFT THESE
I remembered nothing from this fucking part but by the time it got to the next episode where fucking Gomez becomes a total hypocrite about telling lies when we all damn well knew he knew it was Isaac from the second his weak ass son yapped about him, bro you wanna talk about lies, your damn daughter keeps uncovering your murderous lies every season LOL
I hate this show LOL
no it's just some terrible goulash of ideas like someone said hey, let's have a bunch of Wednesday fan fic writers write these episodes — no, scenes — and barely tie it together with a consistent tone with consistent actions from episode to episode, particularly goddamn creeper Wednesday who wants both her freak Transformers up in her vagoo like a greedy 403
and they all said yeah yeah, cool...that makes total sense to do
OH and I just remembered something...in the hot Wenclair confrontation where Enid's fur is on fire, she says point blank do you think I'm so helpless or something and to Wednesday's silence she was all, "Your silence is deafening," and then she wanted to run off to be with her pack so really wait
she's the Ron Weasley of the two
now everything makes sense
but I didn't ship...what was their ship name? I don't even remember if they had a ship name like Drarry did.
Back on track: since Enid already knew that's what Wednesday thought of her, then she shouldn't be so surprised when she reads it in her novel. Plus I think it was still overexaggerated and caricaturish, like Anthony Michael Hall's cadet leader dude, over the top for Enified Wednesday not to even consider hiding her habits
but you know maybe she was just incapable of it because she had that skewed perception of what Wednesday was like...those who can really mesh with another person know their quirks and at least bother to try when they're trying to hide it
but I'm getting ahead of myself because that's Episode 6 and this fuckass episode here is 5
ETA: I forgot this time but I've said it before, I love our little culturally appropriating Arlene and I don't remember if she got away from Isaac but she should have because her brains weren't worth it, she needs to show up every season
