Eric The Red

R.I.P Hayden Panettiere 😭😭😭

Who voiced Kairi in Kingdom Hearts 1,2 and Birth by Sleep and Xion in Dream Drop Distance.

-Kairi Kingdom Hearts 2

I know I reposted a lot about Hayden Panettiere especially when she played a big part in my childhood game which was Kingdom Hearts and one of my two favorite movies Ice Princess and Bring it on. But I mostly remember her as Kairi. When I opened TikTok at first I couldn’t believe the news I thought it was fake because a lot of people like too play sick jokes like this then I turned on the actual news and my heart sank. I remember turning on my game system after school and running home just to play Kingdom Hearts to see Kairi scenes and then falling asleep to Kairi’s theme song at night because that video game brought me the most comfort when I was growing up and knowing my favorite actor played my favorite character growing up brought me more comfort. Then when ice Princess came on Disney channel in the wintertime I curled up watching it under my heating blanket and hot chocolate watching it smiling because of Hayden’s role in the movie is why I got into ice skating. Then when I was a teenager I watched Bring It on because of her and wanted to be a cheerleader and went out for that dream when I was in high school. Because of Hayden I also learned that it was okay to be imperfect because no one is perfect we all have are flaws.

Hayden I hope you are ice skating and cheerleading up there in those sky’s girl and may your heart be your guiding key for all of us up there fellow key-blade wielder you will be missed dearly.

Rest in peace Angel.

You are trapped in the early stages of the grieving process.

I’m sorry, but I just keep seeing shit like this and I can’t stand it because it is completely detached from the reality that is staring us right in the fucking face. It’s people setting themselves up for more disappointment and heartache when they really don’t have to.

In your anger, you are vacillating back and forth between denial and bargaining.

The denial is either denying that Kairi’s character and role in KH3 was as bad as it was (no, it was that bad), denying that it’s any worse than what other characters suffered (no, it’s worse), or denying that Tetsuya Nomura could possibly be that much of a misogynistic hack, that he had better plans for Kairi but something or other forced his hand, whether that be a change in engine, meddling from executives, a short timeframe, or bitterness over being taken off of Versus XIII (no, he’s just that much of a misogynistic hack.) The bargaining is thinking that this is going to fixed up in DLC or in a future game, that maybe Nomura has a plan for Kairi and that she’s going to be the hero who goes to find Sora next time around (tying in with denial, some say that maybe that’s the reason Kairi was treated the way she was: as set-up for her leading role in the next game! Because screw all the set-up she had for KH3, right?)

You must move on to depression, because only then can you reach acceptance.

Here is the cold, hard truth: it’s not going to get better for Kairi. Tetsuya Nomura (and Masaru Oka) do. not. care. about. her.  They don’t want to write for her and develop her, they don’t find her interesting nor valuable beyond a love interest / damsel in distress / convenient plot device. If they had any interest in doing the kind of things you want them to do with her, then they would have done so in KH3, because not only was that active build-up for it, but KH3 is a mainline game and not some random-ass spin-off that only hardcore KH fans will ever play. And yet they didn’t. Keep in mind that Riku was a playable character in the second released KH game, while the Seasalt Trio and Wayfinder Trio were all fully playable in their debuts. Kairi doesn’t even get more than a minute as a party member in what is the series’ 9th game. There has been more than enough time to do something with Kairi, regardless of whatever excuse you may throw out. But Nomura and Oka simply don’t want to do anything with her.

It hurts to say this, but not saying it isn’t going to make it not true: the Kairi haters won. Nomura’s thoughts and feelings were far more in line with their’s than he was with us Kairi fans (keep in mind that this is the man who sincerely empathized with Xehanort from Day 1, he’s clearly a fucked-up individual.) So he pandered to them first by benching and nigh-erasing Kairi from the series altogether following KH2, and then by proving every negative trait they’ve lobbed at her over the years (useless, weak, no personality or development, forced hetero love interest, doesn’t care about Riku, etc.) right in his portrayal of her in KH3.

So, what to do now? Rally together and demand better treatment of her in the future, hoping that it will change things? NO. I’m sorry, but there seems to be some misunderstanding here. When I type #KairiDeservedBetter, I am not advocating for trying to ensure that she receives better. I am literally just saying that she deserved better, she didn’t get it, and that’s the end of the matter. There’s nothing to be done about it now. See, here’s the thing: there already was a campaign to get Kairi better treatment, that lasted the many YEARS it took for KH3 to be developed. There was a lot of positive buzz over the implications of 3D’s secret ending as well. All of this did jack-shit in the end, because Nomura didn’t care. Nomura is all-powerful when it comes to the series and isn’t going to cave to what certain fans demand of him over the internet (if he did, he wouldn’t still be making his story so damn incomprehensible and convoluted). He knows that people are gonna buy the games and thus give him more money anyway regardless of how Kairi is treated, and so there’s no real incentive for him to change a damn thing about the way he operates. And no matter what, the Kairi haters will always be more vocal, so the impression created that she’s best kept offscreen will continue to endure.

Sometimes, the only thing to be done is to know when to quit.

I am not giving any more of my time or money to any future installments of the KH series, or to anything with Tetsuya Nomura’s’ name on it. I think that I came to the acceptance stage of the grieving process much faster than most because my emotional ties to the KH series were already damn-near entirely severed before KH3 came out, I actually was fully anticipating such letdowns would transpire and that I’d end up on this exact path that I’ve chosen: the path of leaving the series behind for better things. I will always cherish the good stuff of the KH installments that I own, and I will always love Kairi in her KH-KH2 prime, which includes fanworks that base her in that prime. But I’m not going to fool myself into thinking that there’s still hope when there isn’t. I will continue on my way and, as a better-treated heroine said:

And I implore you to do the same.

Even now, after Hayden Panettiere’s tragic death, I still see this. The denial. The bargaining. The shock and confusion - yes, really - that Kairi is not being featured in any of KH4’s press, as if her going off to train with Aqua wasn’t an obvious way of keeping her out of KH4.

What is it going to take for these people to see the huge font writing on the wall?

Tetsuya Nomura does. not. care. about. Kairi. He does not want to write for Kairi. He does not consider her one of the main characters. As far as he is concerned, the three main characters are Sora, Riku and Mickey, with Donald and Goofy as sidekicks. Ask yourself this: who did we spend most of KH3 with? Sora, Donald and Goofy. Who did we cut back most regularly too, even with playable segments? Riku and Mickey. Who are all on the main piece of artwork for KH3 - and not the cover art; I mean the main art that is used in marketing?

Who were spotlighted, including playable segments, in the latest KH4 trailer?

Who was invited on stage to read the end scene of KH2, which Kairi was instrumental in? Just Haley Joel Osment and David Gallagher. And when the host said “we’ve got Sora, we’ve got Riku, who are we missing?”, guess who was brought out? Someone in a MICKEY suit.

I don’t know how much more has to be said and done before the truth sinks in. The Kingdom Hearts series is done with Kairi. She was unpopular due to the huge yaoi fanbase, and so that’s the fanbase the series is gonna cater to, as most blatantly evidenced by the decision to send Riku to go save Sora in Quadratum and leave Kairi behind again. What’s more, the Kingdom Hearts series is a boys’ club. Even putting Kairi aside, Tetsuya Nomura does not treat his female characters well, and that’s been evidenced once more by Strelitzia cowering and needing to be protected by Sigurd even though Strelitzia was also a Keyblade wielder. Under his pen, they are flat characters, expositional plot devices, and damsels-in-distress to motivate the men who truly matter. And that’s not going to change. Nomura is who he is.

Appearance: Oh dear. For Samuel Sterns aka The Leader, they actually had a perfectly good, comic-accurate look going for him during principal photography, but then in reshoots they changed it for no good reason and it looks so much worse: just being a generic green guy with a large brain for a head...more alien than human! And for Thaddeus Ross' Red Hulk form, trying to capture Harrison Ford's facial likeness was a huge mistake. It just looks silly.

GRADE = 2

Performance: Because William Hurt tragically passed away before filming can begin, the role of Thaddeus Ross had to be recast with Harrison Ford. And while Ford does a fine job with the material he's given, he is simply nothing remotely like Hurt and I cannot bring myself to believe that this is the same character. The difference is too stark. Thankfully, Tim Blake Nelson reprises Sterns, and he does much better at conveying someone both supremely smart and supremely vengeful, with a seething bitter quality behind his eyes and words.

GRADE = 3.5

Motivation: I genuinely do not give a fuck what Ross' motivations are, especially when the attempt at making him sympathetic fall flat when the character has been nothing of the sort in prior films and even here commits indefensible actions. Besides, at the end he's Red Hulk and it just boils down to rage. Sterns' motivations are more solid, being a victim of Ross and understandably wanting revenge for it so he's the one who should be sympathetic, but he ends up doing the much-maligned Marvel Villain thing where he takes his actions too far to sympathize with, even when in this case it doesn't make that much sense given that he should be smart enough to pull of his revenge without the collateral damage he causes.

GRADE: 2.5

Villainy: Both are very standard for the types of characters they are, but that's perfectly serviceable for the film they're in. My biggest complaints are that Red Hulk is used without fighting the Hulk, which is supposed to be the whole point behind the character, and that the Leader never calls himself that, even when he had an obvious opportunity to at one point!

GRADE: 3

Resolution: Like I said, Red Hulk fights Captain America instead of the Hulk, and Cap resolves it in the most generic and schmaltzy way possible, by talking him down through bringing up his daughter and how he wants to change for her. Then Ross turns back human and despite being President of the United States he is arrested due to his crimes being exposed and revealing himself as a hideous monster (HAHAHAHAHA, only in the MCU!), while Sterns is also arrested and has a dumb "Doomsday is coming" mid-credits scene.

GRADE: 1

Varian. While writing Godot's hard-boiled, coffee term-laden dialogue and Akane Taira's mood swings whilst she attempts to maintain her affability and composure are enjoyable too, something about writing for Varian is especially fun. This is him in his "between Season 1 and Season 3" phase where he's doubled down on the bad boy image since he believes he's an unforgivable villain now, but he's still just such a silly dork and with a nature that inherently looks to help rather than harm that it will regularly come through in his interactions with customers. I find giving him the Potionista role was an inspired choice given the alchemic formulas and mixtures he makes in-show, and when playing Disney Villains Cursed Cafe and selecting what to say to customers, I could just image Varian in these situations.

Dr. Eggman. This is mainstream SEGA games Eggman, the first variant of Dr. Robotnik I have here but not the last, and given the character, how could writing him not be fun? I enjoy how bombastic and full of himself he is, and I love how I had his side story kicked off because he wants to combine magic potions with his technological creations, but refuses to just acquire the potions that could help him destroy Sonic because his ego demands he be the one to fully create whatever brings the hedgehog down, no help from others required, so he seeks to master potion-making for himself instead via an insanely underhanded scheme that only he could come up with.

King Andrias. This is pretty straightforward - I just enjoy writing lines that I think Andrias would say and imagining how Keith David would deliver those lines. His character voice is really easy to get down.

No Heart. Because he's just pure cheesy, proudly evil cartoon villainy, and with him I get to mix some of the self-seriousness of his original 80's incarnation with some of the more comedic attitude of the Unlock The Magic incarnation, while also applying the concept I had for a character reinvention of him (producing his own show.)

Heinz Doofenshmirtz. For a similar reason as Andrias, except in his case it's a lot trickier. I always need to be thorough with what I write for him and think to myself "Can I hear Dan Povenmire's Doof voice saying this? Would he phrase this line this way?", as Doof's voice is so essential to making his dialogue work and making his jokes land.

Doctor Octopus. Something about looking for the big words he would use and constructing his sentences in the exact way he would say them has been real fun for me. He's just such a smug, uptight, patronizing asshole under his courteous veneer and I just love that.

Lila Rossi. She's best known for lying to good guy characters, but when hanging with fellow villains it's always murkier - when is she lying, when is she being honest, when is she bending the truth or being half truthful, and what does she stand to gain from any of it? These questions should always be on your mind when you read any of her dialogue and interactions with other villains. It's also fun to write for a variant of Lila Rossi who really is just Lila Rossi, with the whole Chrysalis thing being something she retools for her lies.

Homura Akemi. Because she's Homura Akemi, the edgy dork who plays at being both uber cool and the evilest of evils that ever evilled but is really neither of those things and is just kind of deeply troubled and pitiful when you get down to it. I am not immune to her charm.

Black Lady. She was around for a very short time in both manga and anime, so any opportunity to have more of her and flesh her out more is a gift in my eyes. I've so far gotten to write her childish nihilism, resentment, and misanthropic apathy along with the more easygoing and playful attitude she shows externally, but we've yet to see her get really mad and showcase just what a dark and malicious brat she can be. She's also one of the villains that I plan to give some character development as we look into the facets of her personality that are still very much her mother's daughter who yearns for love.

Maximillian Pegasus. 'Cause he's so quirky, sassy and flamboyant. I eagerly look forward to writing more for him in the future.

Terra-Xehanort's Heartless and Nobody. For both of them, I get to write some quasi-intellectual and existential pontificating as well as some actually creepy bits of malignant, predatory-feeling evilness that raises concern about what their angles might be. Me likes it!

Prince Lotor and Murmur. My crossover crack Brotp that I get to write and display in a unique context. I love the personalities and underhanded natures of both characters, and it's just going to be so much fun to see how they'll play off each other since their general attitudes seem a bit mismatched. There's also a pretty big in-joke behind what I'm doing with them here, but that becomes clear later.

Erik Killmonger. Can't really pinpoint a particular reason why I like writing for him. Probably just the idea that he can be real chill and converse with you like a normal dude, but then so causally drop in something that reveals how much of a normal dude he truly isn't.

Henry Whatsit. Because he's got this creepy yet also quite humorously awkward "evil neurodivergent" energy to him, and while he's friendly and polite most of the time, his instincts are predatorial all of the time.

Satou Matsuzaka. Completing the trio of "chill and friendly seemingly normal person who is anything but normal". She's always going to be a fun one to come back to!

Cedric the Sorcerer. There's just something about Cedric attempting to acquire more power and superiority as a sorcerer by striving to be something that's just fundamentally not within his nature to be that's only gotten more enjoyable to write with each appearence he's made.

"Big" Jack Horner. He's such a simple, gives-no-fucks evil asshole of a character that I wasn't sure how up to writing him I was going to be, but coming up with his lines and imagining him saying them has proven to be quite enjoyable. (In his most recent appearance, I just loved writing "And in return for you willing to hear me out and be so helpful, I’ll pay half price" - acting like him getting to keep more of his money than the price tag of the item explicitly calls for is a courtesy to the Cafe rather than a shamelessly stingy business violation that only benefits him.)

Pete. Because he's really damn easy to write for. His general attitude and the sort of lines he'd say in Jim Cummings' voice acting is deeply ingrained into my subconscious.

Bill Cipher. He's always been a fun one, but I'm feeling like the more I use him, the easier to get down his voice becomes. He's just the most classless jerk with the most twisted sense of humor.

Dr. Robotnik. I've always loved the Archie Comics version of the character, so writing him is as much a treat as writing mainline SEGA Eggman.

King Sombra. I like getting to flesh out his personality so that there's a little bit of his Season 9 vainglorious pomposity but also the more low-key, meticulous, sinister nature and strategic intellect there too.

Lex Luthor. Because he's Lex Luthor, who's just a naturally compelling villain to write for.

Syndrome. I've only done him twice, but getting to write for a petty ass geeky dudebro fanboy supervillain is already pretty fun!

Misa Amane and Kiyomi Takada. They're mature yet immature, both fairly bright yet total idiots, and they've got the most in denial case of toxic yuri going on that is going to be a blast to keep writing.

Melody Rhythm. I suppose I should be thankful to LINUJ's crappy omake featuring the twins, as it was the kick in the pants I needed to bring them onto the blog! I've enjoyed writing for both girls at the stage they're at now, but in the longer term I plan on telling the Otonokoji Twins story I've always wanted to tell, complete with some tweaks to LINUJ's framework necessary for these variants of them.

Erika Furudo. You know why. Just the sheer amount of times I used her after introducing her should make it all too clear how much fun I have with this character. I love her smug rat gremlin ass so much, I love her and Dlanor as a duo, and I love writing the way in which she interacts with other villains. We've definitely not seen the last of her!

Mr. Magik. OK, this one's going to require I go into a lot more detail.

Kizuna Tomori and Ayame Hatano. I was so pumped to bring these two in for the glorious toxic yuri dynamic with Akane and they've been just as fun to write as I hoped they'd be. Kizuna's peppy, bitchy, high strung diva personality and Akane's more chill and low-key personality are totally different but equally enjoyable when playing off Akane or each other, and I like how being in the City of Villains, around so many scoundrels far worse than them or Akane, gets them in a more "water under the bridge" mentality regarding the DRA Killing Game and they can now just enjoy being bad bitches together.

Captain Hook. Simple concept - a variant of Once Upon A Time's Killian Jones who not only never moved past his vengeful pirate ways even as he's aged but who turned against Peter Pan much sooner and threw himself completely into the role of "Captain Hook". This sort of "role consuming him" angle makes it easy to work in the Hook-as-playwright stuff from the Cursed Cafe game and apply it to him, and his vendetta against Gold gave him some story importance too. A somewhat darker yet also significantly sillier Killian without the redemption arc is always a fun thing to muse about and explore.

Omni-Man. The City of Villains has many supervillains, so it would be interesting to see one who holds the reputation of a superhero, and since Omni-Man is cooler and more interesting than Homelander, he got that role! It's always great to involve him in things, to hear JK Simmons' voice in my head, and to speculate about what agenda he might have for doing anything but is only biding his time.

The Digimon Emperor. Evil Ken is just such a fun villain in general. Writing him in the way that the old Adventure 02 dub would write him, complete with imagining how Derek Stephen Prince would say the lines, is a real treat, and is bringing Wormmon along for their master-servant dynamic even though Wormmon is never counted as a "villain". Wonder if things will start to improve between them?

The Joker (Variant 2). I enjoyed writing the first Joker variant, but it wasn't always easy. Writing for this Joker variant is not only easier, it is addictively enjoyable. Heath Ledger's wry, self-amused, quirky, contemptuous and chaotic clownery as this character is easily imaginable for what I write down in his voice, and sometimes even the subtle danger and malice in his madness can be detected, keeping you on edge about what he might say or do even though he's not gone through with anything yet. He's one I'll always love coming back around to.

Satoko Houjo. Because it's Satoko, the silly of all time! In particular her basis is the character in the Gou-Meguri manga set, who's a very well written and entertaining villain. We can definitely expect more out of her, as Watanagashi Festival day isn't the only special day she's into...

King Dedede. Villainous jerkass King Dedede from the Kirby anime, voiced by Ted Lewis in that southern drawl. Need I say more?

The Nameless One. Or "No Name" as he's called around the Cafe. Based on his look and what he's said about himself, we all know who he's meant to be - a certain iconic deformed dark wizard with an affinity for serpents and a fear of death from a certain famous YA literature series that blew up into a franchise currently being run into the ground by a certain deranged, immature, hypocritical bigot of an author? The blog's not monetized, but for precautionary measures and to not give any free advertising for that franchise, I had this variant of that guy turned into a snake, unable to use his human form, his spells, or his real or adopted name, and his shtick is that he wants it all back but never really comes close to getting it (he's rooming with Plankton in the City of Villains for a reason!). So yeah, I'll always love abusing him.

Terra. Tara Markov, one of my favorite DC Universe characters, and a variant of the 2003 series incarnation of her, one of the best ones? It's a no brainer that I was going to like doing stuff with her!

Iroha Nijiue. Iroha my precious pathetic wet meow meow dumbass girlfailure of all time! I promise to treat you as nicely as possible except when I have to write unavoidable jokes at your expense.

General Lunaris. I don't think he'll be visiting too often - I just brought him in for one special day, but having him react to Eggman "pissing on the moon" made it well worth it to bring him in!

Powah Broker. Kaori Miyazono my beloved from Your Lie In April my beloathed. As she's an arc villain, she's once again going to require a little bit more detail.