An analysis of the first 3 pages of Waterboy's comic 'Splash'
Hi I think about Waterboy a Normal amount.
So the first page is a dream sequence of Waterboy if he didn't have his powers. He's paler, his hair is a bit lighter and much fluffier.
Scenes like this make me so sad for him, cause he can't do something as basic as grab toilet paper. This opens the door for speculation, my favorite passtime. So we know his powers are a disability right? If not outright then definitely a metaphor. He's constantly wet as seen at the start of episode 2, can't write on paper as seen at the start of episode 3, if you recruit him for the Z Team he can cause members to slip if they're sent with him, thus injuring them. He's called a wet freak, no one wants to touch (and when they do they're surprised at the wetness) or interact with him. These are canon things we see, so how does constantly being wet affect his quality of life? A lot.
Can't write on paper, can't use a pen effectively. He had these powers when he was a kid as seen with the line "My mom would just leave a strongly worded note, but they'd get wet before they'd get to school" and "I used to play the trumpet, but the spit valve was an issue", does this mean he could never take tests or do worksheets like the other kids? In one of his voicelines to Sonar he says he took a semester of chiropterology in college, so not only did he go to college, he had to take the SATs, so how did he do these things? Did he adapt? Apparently not cause he didn't think to do so when leaving a note for Robert. Can he not afford accommodations for himself? Does he not know any other way? What did his family do? His parents? Grandma?
If he's constantly wet, how can he handle money? His phone? How is his skin? If he had these powers since childhood (presumed with the 'mom leaving a note' line) was he bullied? Ostracized?
His dream, a good dream from how he's laughing and overjoyed, is something we, able-bodied (FROM HIS POV) people don't even think about. What else does he struggle with? Later in the comic we see him struggle to keep his balance on the bus, and water in the Dispatch universe is as slippery as fryer oil on a floor (I know this from experience. Trust me.), how often has he made others slip? In episode 4 when he says his clothes (the wetsuit, as he gestures) is waterproof, when did he get that? How? Is it his cool superhero uniform or is it for others's safety? We don't see him leave puddles when he has it on, only when he's walking to his grandmother's room. Speaking of.
(We also on page 1 see him with a bajillion cats. I have counted the cats, but I do not take this page as "canon" to cat count, since it's a dream. Therefore it's inaccurate to the reality in which Dispatch is in. Also I find it sad that in his dream, he's sitting with a cat on his lap and with his hands on said cat, something we later see in the comic that cats do not enjoy with him. Also that's the same cat that sits on Granny's lap)
More under the cut this is long enough already lmao
This is what his bedroom looks like! Bedrooms are personal sanctuaries so let's see what we have here;
First off, his pillow? Soaked. And his bed? No sheets. It could be he doesn't know how to do them/tries but fails, but the far more likely answer is it's waaayyy fucking easier to just not have them, with his wetness. Bro can't sleep on a soft bed. Has he ever slept on a regular bed? When he's sleeping in other homes or in hotels, does he sleep in a bathtub to avoid getting everything wet? Waterproof blankets exist, has he tried them? Can he not afford them? Do they not work for him? Also, that blanket there isn't covering all of him. This could be a funny haha by the artist but can he not get a new blanket that covers his feet? Does he overheat in his sleep?
Also, his alarm clock and nightstand, something very vulnerable to water damage, covered in plastic. Does he do this with his phone, put it in a plastic bag? Does he do this with other electronics he has? Does he even have any other electronics?
Moving onto the posters behind him we see, from left to right, a hero that looks like Phenomaman, Abbath (a band formed in 2015 and still doing tours and music. I listened to some of their music and yep this is heavy metal alright lol. But it does say to me that his taste for Metal, a genre spanning 50+ years, is modern. Maybe he would like Ozzy and Lemmy?? If you like metal you gotta love Ozzy and Lemmy bro. Would he like Devin Townsend? Hallucivore? Dragonforce? System of a Down? Slipknot? Morgued? I'm fanboying now sowwy UwU Also funny thing when I researched if you look up Abbath on Spotify Waterboy shows up lmao), something I can't make out but I think is another metal poster? A hero that looks like Blonde Blazer, another metal poster, and another hero that looks like Phenomaman. These heroes that "look like" BB and Phen probably are them, but who knows maybe there's a Fantastiguy and a Brunette Blaster out there lmao. Either way given he directly states multiple times he's a big fan of Phen and BB, this tracks, he would have posters of them. But! posters are paper, how did he get them up there? We see tape, did he use gloves? Did he hold it really carefully? Are they wrapped in plastic and we can't see it? Are they all crooked because his ass can't interior design? His room strikes me as one he's had since childhood, given the antiquated alarm clock, posters, and bed that's too small for him. Does this mean the house is one he's had since childhood?
The plants! If he can vomit water at will, and given seeds are like, under 3 bucks, this is probably the only hobby he can partake in with his lack of funds and constantly caring for 15+ cats and his grandma. This could be another artist thing, but we also see no cats in his room, and cats are notorious for knocking shit off shelves. We don't see any flowers here, only ferns and small shrubs. That middle shelf could have a bonsai tree but those take a bajillion years to grow. From research on reddit and forums I think a bonsai of this size would be somewhere between five or ten years old. If it IS a bonsai. We also see numerous different kinds of plants, so it doesn't seem he sticks with just one. He's got a collection! I wonder how much sunlight they get in that corner, is it enough?
Panel 2 Page 2. He's leaving puddles, could be his normal could be him thinking about the day and the job interview coming up. I'm erring on the side of his normal. There's a couple cats looking at him and they don't seem enthused, I assume because they don't wanna be wet and know being in his way means getting wet. But the big thing I take from here is the plastic on the floor. Herman sweetie I love you but that isn't going to be enough. We can literally see water damage or mold growing on the walls here. There's no way he doesn't see it. Yet again, accommodations do exist- wood floors (is his house wood floored? Or is it all carpet?) with thick varnish, putting waterproof blankets over the floor, but I don't think he can afford it or has thought of that. Maybe he did what he thought was the cost effective, or quickest solution at the time, but this short term solution is a terrible long term solution. Also the water damage. I imagine he tried fixing it but given his failure as a janitor (beginning of episode 4 with Phenomaman on the tv, him washing windows late at night if you choose to date Blazer in 4, him vomiting water on Robert's pc at the end of episode 2) and the fact the water never stops he probably failed or made it worse.
Grandma! her room is very stereotypical grandma, she herself is very stereotypical grandma. We can see most of the cats seem to convene where she goes, as we see in the last panel on this page. They must like her! My theory is these cats are foster failures (for those who don't know, it's when you foster a cat but then decide to adopt the cat instead, meaning you failed to foster the cat for the shelter to take so someone else can adopt the cat) so they probably associate grandma with food and love and Herm with Being Wet. On her desk and walls is a bunch of photos, one of the cats beside the door, and one of Herman above her... why does she have two dressers what the fuck. Is that a drawer for knick knacks? Anyway. There's also a calendar and some plants, not nearly as flourishing as Herm's. Is she caring for those herself? Are they not getting enough sunlight? Are they fake because of the cats? Also noticing she has not one but presumably three pictures of Herman on her dresser. Three is a lot. Are they all different pictures of Herm through his life? Common grandma thing to do. Also also from the art for the calendar being a cat, we can tell she likes cats lmao.
Also Herm, sweetie pie, your knees, your back, your posture sweetie.
The rest of the page suggests a lot for me. Why is Waterboy helping her with the toilet? We see her use a wheelchair later in the comic and she is using a mobility chair for the stairs, said stairs are also covered in plastic. Btw. How is Waterboy supposed to help her if he can't grab toilet paper?
Something that stands out to me also is that grandma is expressionless throughout the whole page. No 'good morning Herman!' or 'thank you Herman!", just a blank state behind empty eyes. No buckling herself in the chair, no using the toilet by herself. Waterboy does not strike me as a control freak at all, is she not able to do these things? She had the strength to sit up earlier. Why does she need help here?
There is also more water damage on the walls behind Waterboy and behind the toilet, this house has not been properly maintained long enough that it has become damaged. How come Herman hasn't gotten around to it? I think he's tried but again as shown in canon he isn't good at handiness, so he either failed or made it worse. And the house continues to decay.
Also that fat orange cat is named Garfield for sure lmao
A brief pause- Cat count!
Back to analyzing-
First panel of page 3, something also that suggests a lot. Granny is in a wheelchair, Waterboy is in his gloves and suit (When did he get changed? Did he cook that meal, or did Granny?), they're in the kitchen and we see nothing atypical for a kitchen. What strikes me here is Grandma is cleaning up his water spills, water spills that will never stop given Herman's powers. Shouldn't she know this? Is she trying to clean them up before they soak into the unprotected wood?
The big thing though is Waterboy has her weekly pills and is helping her with them, she isn't doing them herself. She also has some mess on her face that Herm is cleaning up. Shouldn't she know there's a mess on her face? Is she distracted by the water? Does she not have the mobility? Waterboy isn't feeding her, so I can presume she does have said mobility. Waterboy also has ignored his breakfast in order to help her.
Middle of page 3, we see the entire house is basically drenched in both Waterboy's water and plastic. The couch has it and the floor is plastic wrapped- which I imagine is not good for wheelchair mobility (She had the strength to sit herself up, but does she have the strength to push herself and her chair? Did Herman have to push her?). Waterboy feels confident handling the remote, maybe due to having gloves on now? There's also a photo of him and his grandma behind them, and some damage by the stairs.
The cat that meows for Herman's attention. Did they know? Are they a new addition to the family? If we assume all of these cats have been there since forever, then why did Herman pet this one? Wouldn't he know cats hate being wet and therefore none of these cats want to be pet by him? Maybe this cat is just stupid, as cats sometimes are. Or maybe this cat is new to the family and didn't know about Herman's wetness and learned the hard way.
Another thing I note is that that TV is hella old. That's a CRT, that's a chunky boy, that's a Mr. Ant Tenna. No flat screen as most people have nowadays? Can they not afford one? Does Granny not want to throw this one away? Does Granny (or Herm) not see a point in getting a new TV?
These are the final panels I'll be looking at and just. Herman kneeling down to kiss his grandma on the head. He loves so much! He cares so much! He cares about the people and things he loves so much, if he didn't he would've not done it.
But what hurts me is just, Grandma is yet again staring, off into space, vacant. She has the entire comic. It could be the artist wanting to give her thick glasses to fulfill that stereotypical grandma look, but the entire comic?
I think Grandma likely has Dementia, along with her mobility issues. She needs help on the toilet, she needs help eating, she needs help cleaning, she needs help taking her pills, and she has little reaction besides a smile when Herman leaves for the day, she doesn't look at him. After the forehead kiss she looks at the TV; is she looking at him? Maybe. But if she is why is her head not turned to face him?
This means that Herman has to help her with many many things, help her navigate day to day life, 24/7 care. Given his lines about his mother and going to college, it strongly suggests that she (and maybe Herm's dad? If he was in the picture) cared for her. Why are Herm's parents not in the picture? If not, why is Herm not in theirs? Were they kind or cruel? How do they feel about his powers? Does Grandma recognize his powers, as seen at the start of page 3? She doesn't have much of a reaction to anything, and needs help with tasks like going to the bathroom and taking pills. These are simple cognitive tasks for an able-bodied person that she needs help with- and there's nothing wrong with that! There is nothing wrong with anything about this that we know of, nothing wrong with needing help. This is just what I am interpreting from this comic. AdHoc could come out and give Grandma a fleshed out character and I could be wrong. But from what I read in between these lines I see that Grandma is reliant on her grandson for aid, and for cat care.
Another question is does Herm say no? Is he able to in an emotional sense? When Grandma foster fails a 5th, 6th, 10th, 15th cat, was he able to say no to her? Did she even remember him saying no if he did? Does she remember the names and faces of all these cats? I'm not sure.
I can also see that given he takes the bus (no car), and the house is damaged, any money he does get is spent on Granny and the cats. Come to think of it, is Granny financially stable, if she isn't mentally stable?
Why does Herman care for his grandmother, a decaying home, and over a dozen cats while being disabled? Why did he look for a job at SDN?
There's just so much about his character I find from these first 3 pages, so fucking much. I love analyzing him to the micro details, why he does things, why he puts so much of himself out there for others when he has been hurt before. There's so much love in him.
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Nothing is infinite. Nobody can live forever. Entropy, decay, rot, will always prevail.
Obviously, a vampire in vampires smp can die from many things. Starvation, (theoretically) being out in the sun too long, fire, a stake. But what happens if someone avoids all those things and tries to do the impossible task of living forever?
A vampire doesn’t age in the traditional sense. It could be that time simply slows down for them, that their body ages only a second per year. (and we’ll ignore Louis’s canonical lore of being turned when he was 8 years old because what. Huh.??? why is he not forever a child?) It could be that time just stops. That they are now the way they had been, forever. And this is what is implied in the series (with the fact Scott’s hair stayed dyed his entire vampirehood, never washed out or grown out - which implies washing doesn’t really clean and hair never really grows). But how can you be physically stuck in time, but mentally continuing to live? Sure, supernatural reasons. Nothing really makes sense about vampires, and especially not the ones depicted in vampires smp.
But something can’t stay still forever. Even a mountain moves, little by little, each year. How can a person cope with eternity of being entirely physically unchanged?
Something has to give.
I think it’d be like computer files corrupting. Files are meant to be unchanging time capsules, videos and images are meant to stay forever, and yet they rot over time. If the hardware or software the file is supported by changes, or the file is unsuccessfully copied/moved somewhere, pieces of the file start to get lost.
I think this might happen to vampires in the form of them losing their memories, or having weird glitch moments where they blink out of reality, or parts of them rearrange randomly for a split second. Kind of like the spiderverse glitching mixed with dementia. I feel like it’s fitting that vampires slowly start forgetting - at first it makes sense, they’ve lived so long, but then, because they start getting more and more corrupted with age, they start forgetting things that happened a day ago, or the beginning of their sentence. Vampire dementia. They still live forever, but are they really living, after a certain point, if all they can remember is small flickers of themselves?
A person with dementia dies when they forget how to breathe. Vampires don’t need to breathe, but they can starve. Technically, they are still immortal - someone can still feed them. But every piece of themselves has been lost to time.
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Author's note: So, this is based on the wonderful, wicked Idea that @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @kit-williams were talking about how Biochemical Rejuvenation treatments are used by certain ranks of the Imperium.
Tagged: @whorety-k :) I had to have some sweetness for Smyith before his life goes... to Nurgle.
Part One
Warning: Illness, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, late-stage breast cancer, early-stage dementia, Comatose, car accident, PCOS, parkinson's disease, please let me know if there is more, I need to tag and add to the warnings! Keep yourself safe.
It's not been unlocked by Ancient Terra and how the Loyalists and Chaos Marines usually aren't trying to give too much technology and medical knowledge that isn't already made/discovered by the ancient humans upon Holy Terra. But... sometimes, the bonds between Astartes and Human pull the Astartes to doing things that are... ill-advised.
This post isn't really going to be story, but it will help me, and anyone who reads understand who's-who, of the Main Character Astartes who read this AU. This is more of a "set up" not-chapter.
Seven is the favored number of Nurgle, and very important in Nurgilite Cultist stuff. So, Seven Astartes with humans suffering that will be going to a Death Guard for help. To keep their human safer, happier, 'healthier', and with them.
Loyalist Space Marines:
Su'cona he is a Salamander from post-heresy, after the second death of his Lord Father, Primarch Vulkan. His human has Chronic pain.
Zadakael is a Blood Angel who fought in the same battle that slew his Primarch Sanguinius and is one of the first to have fallen to the Black Rage and survived, somehow, and landed on Ancient Terra. His bonded has Parkinson's disease.
Symith is a Space Wolf who is from after the Heresy and during the time when his Primarch Leman Russ just got lost in the Warp, and they realized that he isn't returning. His Bonded was in a bad car accident and is now in a coma.
Renegade Space Marines:
**UPDATE**
Karlsor- due to character growth and having a Claw will NOT be going to Hura when his Baseline Bonded gets super sick- he will be going to Anrir instead. BUUT there could be some tension where he is almost stupid enough to go to Hura then *Prophecy of DOOM* and he goes. Nope. FUCK THAT SHIT* and heads to Anrir instead.
Karlsor is a Night Lord from after the Heresy, and after the death of his Primarch, and the scattering of the Night Lords. His human has PCOS.
Alpharius nicknamed Chief by his human, true name Zariel, his bonded human has late-stage breast cancer.
Chaos Space Marines:
Zaarius is an Emperor's child from after the Heresy and is a Slaneshi space marine. His human has chronic fatigue.
Zeth is a Black Legionnaire from after the Heresy. His human has early stage dementia.
Hura is a Death Guard Chaos Marine and is the one that is providing the cures for what ails their humans. For a Price, of course.
Day 19(secret) for villainous? Either Dr Flug or Dementia finds out Black hat is ticklish and he makes sure they keep it a secret;)
I’m not as comfortable writing black hat since we don’t see as much of him in the show, so I might tweak this a little. I just feel more confident writing Dimentia & Flug, but I can try! I’ll see where the wind takes me while writing!
