Top Posts Tagged with #did experiences

not enough ppl talk abt how scary it actually is to be a system little fully taking the wheel & realizing there’s no grown ups 2 take care of u bc now we take care of ourself :,c

or how scary it is to feel so tiny in a body this size, with grown up things like tattoos & piercings

yes, most times i love regression & the comfort it brings

other times, tho, it’s important 2 know tht being scared, being confused/not recognizing things as u think they should be, is okay, & i rly wish stuff like this was talked bout more in our community 💖

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can i talk about fusion for a second? can i talk about how beautiful it is?

i’m the product of two people (parts, alters, whatever you want to call them). these two people loved each other so much, knew each other so well, that they chose to join their energy into one.

they could almost feel the dissociative walls coming down. instead of just knowing each other’s stories, they were starting to actually remember them. they became so important to one another that they decided they never want to be apart, that they always want to work in tandem.

and now here i am. i’m both of them and yet i’m someone else. it’s hard to explain but this is the best metaphor i can think of: if you mix together red sand and blue sand, it’ll look purple, but each grain is still red or blue. does that make the sand purple, or red and blue? the answer is, both are right.

i feel more whole now. i’m more sure of myself. i solidly know myself & who i am, because the two who created me knew each other that well. i love myself. i love that i am built by the active choice of love & unity.

i know it’s not for everyone. it’s not even for everyone in my own system. but it’s been the best thing ever for me/who i used to be.

#x jenny #fusion #alter fusion #sysblr #actually did #did system #did community #dissociative identity disorder #did experiences #flux shares #flux speaks #idk i just feel… *more* than i used to be #my sysmates are tired of hearing me talk about it but idc #drafts #(she’s written like 7 of these & i’m finally posting one - nate)#cdd community

A lot of our parts have been fusing together over the past few weeks- which is good and healthy, and what we expected to happen once we were discharged from EMDR- but unfortunately, my cat is annoyed with the process. A new fusion opens the door and pats her on the head and says good morning and she just gives us the most annoyed look ever

It’s almost as if she’s saying ‘why?? I liked that one how he was!! Why’d you change him?!’ Clearly she’s too old for this shit 😂

#dissociative identity disorder #alter fusion #did experiences #sysblr

i’m on my “i hate being a system” shit a lot, but realistically i wouldn’t have made it this far otherwise. the self-hatred runs deep, and i have no desire to take care of myself, but i gotta because it ain’t just me in here. this is their life too. i gotta do it for them, because they deserve better even if i don’t. i think that’s the only version of self-love i’ll ever know, and i am grateful for that, in a way.

#did stuff #system stuff #did experiences #did system #cdd community #thinking out loud #flux shares #x emery #sysblr #(not touching syscourse with a 10 ft pole rn)#no dni #system journal

So one of my biggest triggers for dissociation is hunger but as I continue on my healing journey I dissociate a lot less than I used to. Which means I do just find myself in situations where I’m hungry and can’t fix that, so I have to learn to be uncomfortable. And it’s such a learning curve with training my tolerance but I think I’m slowly getting there (it just helps if there aren’t also other factors that could overstimulate me. Like the sun in my eyes. Right now. Argh!)

#I’m my dad’s ride home from his appt so I’m just. sitting here. uncomfortable. consoling myself with the thought of getting a snack later #personal thoughts #did experiences #dissociation #dissociative disorder #sysblr

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You think you guys have it rough try being an alter that thinks tea tastes weird in a British Chinese system, tea is half our identity

#/silly #personal thoughts #did experiences

Academic type alters are GREAT for academic things and writing the essays needed in certain applications but they are NOT good at knowing how to put a bra on. It’s almost midday and I’ve only just realised I’m wearing an inside out bra because (I think) an academic alter got dressed this morning

#gods dammit Izzy #I’m like 80% sure this is your fault #personal thoughts #did experiences

When I wake up in the mornings I will very often just click play on my Bluetooth headphones without knowing what’s queued up. It’s like a weird game of roulette but it also tells me which of my parts was last using my headphones. Jazz music? Ethan. Science podcast? Francis. True crime? Violet. Pop music? Lark. Glee cast recordings…? Actually I’m not sure about that one…

#did experiences #sysblr

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