#dickoffmisa

FINALLY SHE'S DONEEE!!!! i present to you the michael misa harem primer, my magnum opus that i've been working on for *check's notes* two weeks (｡･∀･)ﾉ

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probably!!! i had a super hard time writing from ty's perspective but i'm gonna try writing a dickoffmisa fic from sam's perspective one of these days. imagine the tension!!! untapped potential!

sam is sooo horny, and he needs to fuck misa sooo bad, and classically, he kinda gives into misa's whims because that's lowkey his princess and as much as he's an obnoxious dickhead to a lot of people, he actually scores super good on that princes treatment vs bare minimum quiz. like, he's already a "cringe but free" type of guy, hamming it up and being a good partner (even if misa's official status is just bro) is just part of the bit. he asks misa if he wants a pony for his birthday, and would actually get him one if he'd answered yes in earnest.

this one thing's kinda like, almost too weird, because toff is like, old and gross and shit, but not quite weird enough to cancel out how down bad sam is. that doesn't mean he doesn't suffer through it though. he's basically gotta keep his eyes on how misa's eyes get big and wide when e thrusts into him, or the obscene sounds he makes when sam hits his prostate (the bro spot, he calls it) just right. he has rules too, for what's allowed. like, ty can use misa's mouth but can't fuck him. ty can't call him cute names because that's too serious, and when sam does it, calls him baby or calls him a good boy, that's like, a joke. (he be lying to himself) sam's allowed to slap misa around a little, which he doesn't even really gaf about it aside from how much misa's into it, but if ty lays a finger on him, sam would break it.

explicit, 3.6k words, complete sam/misa, sam/misa/toff

tags: threesome, age gap, getting caught, bad decisions, light dom/sub dynamics, free use

Tyler's trying to be Billet Dad of the Year.

like toff has this whole moral dilemma thing with them and it’s even worse when he gets into the samisa of it all because before he would be able to send willmack on their merry way but this time, misa is literally everywhere and i’m genuinely really tired to keep this train of thought going but i personally just found it funny if toff goes through this twice and has to put himself in the corner because once (even if it wasn’t really once with willmack) was indulgent, twice is just greedy as hell

also this slipping from sam’s hands rapidly because misa harbors a small crush on toff is hilarious too me

wow ok i have many thoughts about this. pretty sure @castratecapuchin and i have both posted about it but i’m always excited to get thoughtful anons cos i haven’t been rpfin on this blog for long

will and mack showed up on ty’s doorstep before the season even started, bonded pair, and he realizes pretty quickly that he's into both of them (but especially mack.) he’s a only a man, after all, and they’re always coming around in their little shorts (2 inch inseam for what?), laying on his couch and shit. cat tells him it’s cool, if they’re into it then there’s no problem (living out her fujo fantasy), but tyler really does value his role as a soft place for the baby sharks to land, so he mostly jerks off thinking about them, then feels bad, and lets them walk all over him as penance (and possibly for nefarious reasons)

will (known whore and sex demon) pitches the idea of corrupting their wholesome rookie/vet dynamic to mack, who’s mostly down because of his weird attachment style. when the two of them come on to tyler, he's half flustered and half thinking this is some weird prank, but mack bats his lashes like twice (urged on by will kicking him in the shin i think) and then he’s like “okayyy fineee” as if he’s making a huge sacrifice

will is the one who's primarily into ty, so at first the two of them make out a little (gross if you ask me) while mack stares off in the distance, and then will kinda goads him into getting involved, like “macklin, cmon, wouldn't it be sooo hot if we sucked him off together?” it goes like that for awhile, and tyler feels pretty morally okay about how he can indulge them and then send them home with the knowledge that they’re still primarily obsessed with one another. mack gets bored easily though, and immediately starts pouting, which ruins the vibe, so will decides they probably need to entertain him (will fucks him from behind, tyler fucks his mouth)

this is all fine and good, except they both make fun of ty all the time, call him an old pervert and shit, so he kinda weans off it. tries to put the old barriers back up, and it mostly works out. then mis moves in and oh fuck. he’s around like all the time, same little shorts and big expressive eyes as mack, but it’s WORSE because mack was usually clowning on him. michael misa is the most earnest little mouse that tyler’s ever seen and he’s foaming at the fucking mouth

toff is literally wondering if he should kill himself, because for obvious reasons, this feels so much more wrong. he knows mis and sam are fucking under his roof, and jumbo had warned him, so he shouldn’t really gaf BUT HE DOES to the tune of jerking off in the guest bathroom ‘cos it shares a wall with misa’s bedroom. he does that for probably a while before he walks in on them that saturday, just sits on the toilet (lid down and dick out) and thinks about how this really must be a sign that there’s something wrong with him because he’s legitimately trying to decipher the muffled difference between mis yelling at his video games and mis and sam doing something he’s trying all too hard to picture

and it’s kinda all downhill from there because tyler knows he’s down bad for misa, practically everyone is, but it’s a whole different beast when he looks down and mis meets his gaze and his eyes are big and wet and earnest and he’s taking tyler's cock all the way to the hilt, and his brain turns to mush. and right yeah, sam had made all those rules, but it’s not his house….

oh this is so funny. sam’s feelings on dickoffmisa are complicated to say the least but the fact remains that toff is an old man loser and therefore not real competition. misa going wait he looks good here is NOT a part of the plan. sam is pulling out these decades old photos from cat’s instagram to make fun of toff and his bedhead curls and inability to smile normally in a photo, yet somehow misa is being entranced??? unbelievable.

misa full on says, in front of some select teammates and god, well ty’s kinda hot. sam regrets ever uncovering these photos but it’s not even his fault because when graffer asks when he was younger? misa’s response is sure but now too. sam didn’t even get a good reaction from toff, what is wrong with everyone? he vaguely understands that misa may be kind of into older people but sam thought that was more nick lardis, two years older and his brother’s friend kind of thing, not ancient crusty tyler toffoli.

i actually don’t think sam is ever really encouraging dickoffmisa in an intentional way. has he accidentally sent nudes of misa to toff in a debatable if accident way, sure, what’s a guy to do for fun? but sam doesn’t actually want toff to get involved, he doesn’t want toff to fuck misa, or call him baby, or grab his ass or anything of the sort. he may look from afar. yet sam will tolerate it because misa thinks it’s hot and sam is embarrassingly into him in a bro he has to care for and cherishes and sometimes gets to have sex with way.

in my fucked up little dickoffmisa thoughts (heavily inspired by @cloudypost), the entire time that the three of them are hooking up sam has never been more anxious. he takes this shit seriously, and needs to make sure that misa is safe and having fun. he doesn’t care if toff is getting his rocks off or not, or even if he is himself, this is about misa. sam is so paranoid that something is going to go wrong and toff is going to be more of a creep and take advantage and sam isn’t going to be there to stop it or fix it or anything. he’s losing sleep over it all and yet, it’s still hot to have misa so blissed out, so happy…

sam certainly isn’t saying anything to misa about it because 1) he doesn’t want to seem lame, 2) he doesn’t want to accidentally instigate solo misatoff hooking up which would be the end of the world, 3) they’re just bros, sam doesn’t actually have any say over misa’s life despite misa’s constant pliability. sam doesn’t want to take advantage of that, ever, so he’s kind of fucked himself here. all that they say about having ethical dilemmas over your not quite boyfriend. sam understands that he could pretty much say anything to misa and misa would listen which is very very heavy (more on this later).

i agree with what you said, i think the general consensus is sam kinda hates it but will do anything for misas enjoyment

im curious how cat fits into everything cuz ive always found the idea that she just is fujoshing tf out and lowkey doesnt care like knows toff is occasionally hooking up with samisa but toff doesnt really talk about it with her she just knows everything. ik people try and generally leave her out of any rpf smut (or so ive noticed) but she seems so cuck chair to me, just for the fun of it and only for dickoffmisa, she does not care about the other two much

i feel like im overstepping by including her but idk dickoffmisa is corrupting me a bit and im intrigued

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warning to my new followers (fear in my eyes) block the dickoffmisa tag if you don't want to hear about tyler toffoli boner (i will understand)

hiiii star anon sorry i got overwhelmed by asks for a bit but i finally cleared out my inbox and i have Much To Say on this

i am very aligned with fujo cat and whenever i've written dickoffmisa it's been from the perspective that cat is fine with whatever ty does and tries to console him when he has moral dilemmas about it because she gets to hear about his escapades and gets off on that

do we think eventually toff breaks the rules and theres just misa and toff stuff happening and misa being misa lets is happen, almost wants it to. and how do we think sam eventually responds to that

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hmmm wonderful query

i think that toff has the capacity to think in grayscale, so he knows it's pretty bad to fuck his billet who's also nineteen and who looks up to him and who and who and who, but it seems a step too far to break sam's rules because in some detached way, he knows that mis belongs to sam. nobody among the three of them would ever say that, and it's not even clear what capacity a guy who's body is contractually bound to the san jose sharks can belong to himself, let alone another man, but it feels intrinsically true.

i do think that after the first time toff joins sam and misa, he's hooked, and finds every possible opportunity to put his hands on mis. at the kitchen island, misa is eating a pile of fries with ketchup drizzled over them and toff gets his hands on misa's hips, shuffles him "out of the way" when there was plenty of room. it's especially hard not to touch when every time he does, mis looks up at him n bats his lashes, shoulders creeping up around his ears, 'cos we already know he loves being manhandled