#deobiwritersnet

You hang up your coat and bag before kicking off your shoes into the rack in the hallway before making your way through the mostly empty dormitory. Juyeon's jacket and Chanhee's socks are on the couch, Kevin's ipad and a few scribbled notes from what you guess is Younghoon's new script lay across the table. You narrow your eyes and wander through the place quietly to find your boyfriend in his shared room hunched over his laptop.

His eyes go round like saucers as his gaze flicks up to meet yours as you step into the threshold only to meet the crude noise of … porn.

“Well hello to you too, baby,” you swiftly smirk, crossing your arms over your chest as Eric slams his laptop shut and goes to cover it with his pillow.

“H-hey baby I- um … “ he trails off before squaring his shoulders.

“Bored are you?” You ask as you sit down on his bed and open his laptop again to further tease him. How could you not, this was like the second time you had caught him. This time however, without his dick in hand.

You hadn't minded, you used to go through the site yourself when the stress was too much and you needed to get that release for the day. The only difference is with Eric, porn doesn't do it for him.

“I was doing research.” Eric says and you cock a brow at his search engine and the now paused video on his screen.

“Doggy style?” You tease with a soft giggle the man grows beet red.

“Research for what?” I press on, tilting my head to hear from him first.

“You know exactly why and what, ever since I caught Sangyeon hyung and his girl - “

“What?!” You exclaim and Eric waves you off.

“Yeah yeah he brought her home and they were going at it you know like we do - “ you swat his bicep as he shoves off his duvet to come closer to you. Eric, always a yapper, you think.

“And I generally didn't realise till I walked in on them because I thought something else was happening and I'm worried about us having to pay for damages to the dorm walls - but yeah, it looked hot.” He finally finished and you nearly burst out laughing.

“What was? The sex or Sangyeon?” you poke and Eric scowls before he smirks and reaches to pinch your cheek with his thumb and forefinger.

“All I'm saying is I want to try it. With you - obviously,” he says and now it's your time to feel your cheeks warming. The idea at first sounds hot, of course it does. The image of Eric caging you in and pounding your back out sounds more than appealing. It sounds like a craving.

“Now?” Your voice drops to a whisper and Eric smirks. “Sorry, baby what was that?” he asks, his eyes darkening ever so slightly as you turn your body to him more. You know exactly what he wants you to say.

“Do you want me to fuck you like that? On your hands and knees, me draped over your back as I fuck you?” he whispers slowly and you nod your head once as your mouth goes dry for a moment. You really wanted to see what the hype was about with doggy style.

“We both know I’d fuck you better than hyung, hm?” Eric asks and you’re already soaking your cotton underwear as he strokes your jaw to coax you to look at him. “Can you imagine how deep I’d get?” His eyes trail down to your lips as he speaks and it's like a switch flips in your brain as you wrap your arm around his neck to pull him into a rough kiss. Eric kisses back hotly, hand cupping your jaw and pulling you further into his embrace till you feel his free hand roaming up your back and into your hair to tug gently.

“I think you’d love it,” he teases against your slick kissed mouth, smirking at you as he pushes you down onto his bed. His shirt is the first to be pulled free, the white cotton hitting the floor as you grapple with your own blouse finally. Eager, Eric grabs the hem of your jeans and yanks them down to your ankles making you gasp at how cool it is in his room.

Soon, your clothes gather all over Eric's floor as he kisses you with feverish intent, his mouth eagerly swallowing your meek moans as his hands glide up your torso and cup your breasts. The warmth seeping along your body makes you press harder against him, to feel him more. His hands squeeze your breasts, thumbs teasing your nipples as he sighs blissfully into the kiss. His kisses trail down your neck and along your collarbone before dipping down the valley of your tits making you arch against him playfully.

“Fuck …” you mewl at the sight of him mouthing along your tits, his tongue gently lashing at your now stiffened nipple. Slowly, you run your hands into his hair before dragging him away from your chest. Eric smirks, lips moist as he presses them into yours again briefly before he strokes your sides. Getting the hint, you slowly rub your hand down his chest to his taut abs before dipping your fingers under the hem of his briefs to tease and grasp his dick.

A sharp exhale leaves him as you dance your thumb over his tip, pulling away to roll his hips into your touch.

“Thought you wanted to fuck me?” you tease as he lazily thrusts into your hand.

“Nothing wrong with a bit of foreplay, doll.” he whispers back before trailing his hand up your inner thigh to rub you through your cotton underwear. A lazy hiss leaves your mouth, spreading your legs wider for him to cup your soaking pussy. You watch him smirk and in turn, you squeeze the base of his cock.

“Turn over for me,” hw whispers once he gets free of your squeezing hand. You whine a little as he stops rubbing you. With little movement, you roll over onto your stomach and lift your hips sensually. From there, you smirk as you sway your ass slowly at him as he strokes the swell of your ass a few times. He grips the edge of your underwear and pulls it away, achingly slow.

“You’re teasing - ah!” you squeak as he spanks your ass, chuckling behind you gently as he rubs the spot.

“Can't help it, I've got a full meal here, princess,” Eric muses as he drapes himself over your back slowly so you feel his skin against your own. Sweet, blistering heat that only travels further down to your dripping pussy. Your thighs feel sticky already and he’s barely touched you.

Guess that’s just the touch of Eric Sohn.

“Then eat me.” you mutter in response, getting a soft hum in your ear as Eric kisses the shell of your ear gently. “Don’t tempt me, sweetheart,” he mutters and slaps your ass once, twice more before pulling himself off of you. The gasp that he pulls from you is sugary sweet and makes his cock twitch.

With both of you now naked, you feel the rising tension seeping across you as you hear Eric rustling behind you. Finally his hands slide against your hips and you sigh hotly at how big his hands are against you. He cups you asscheeks for a second before going lower to gently spread your dewy pussy folds open, like a flowering bud waiting to bloom.

“Fuck, you’re so sexy like this, bent over and pussy dripping,” he mutters and you jolt as his thumb circles your clit gently, teasingly slow it makes you hump back to his hand.

“Hurry up, baby. I want you,” you whine out and finally you feel his thick cock sliding up and down your slicked folds. You moan, fisting the sheets as his thick but blunt tip catches your hole a few times.

“Good girl, ah fuck, you’re so much tighter like this,” Eric moans as he presses the head of his dick inside your warmth. He slides inch by inch, making you feel every ridge, every vein of his cock till you’re full and moaning at the depth he reaches. Shivering, you grab the bedsheets.

“Oh fuck…” you mewl out as Eric grinds his tip inside you making you arch your back taut like a bow ready to fire. Within mere moments you felt fuller than ever before with Eric's cock nestled so deep inside, you're pretty sure he's grinding his fat tip against your cervix.

“Oh sh-shit, E-Eric ~” you gasp as he draws back and thrusts inside you with hands gripping your hips to drag you back against him.

“Shh, let me take care of you,” Eric's voice is rough, lewd even with the drawl of his tone sending your head into a frenzy.

Your pussy squeezes his cock as he thrusts in and out at an average pace, for him at least, you know he's just warming up. The angle is unlike anything before, he hits your very sweetest spot so easily it makes moans tumble from your open mouth.

“Fuck you're so loud, do you like this baby? Do you like this cock?” He grunts, squeezing your ass a little before his hand ghosts up your back and grabs ahold of your hair.

You squeal as he drags you up against his chest, cock bullying your pussy as he starts to pick up his pace leaving you breathless.

You grapple for leverage but can't find any as Eric slams his cock up and out of you at a mind numbing pace it makes you cry out.

“Lo-love it so-so much!” You squeal, moaning as he chuckles and kisses the side of your neck for a moment before shoving you face down on the bed again. You land with a soft moan, raising your hips again as your ass ripples against his thighs and pelvis.

“So good oh fuck, how did we not do this before? You're so fucking sexy like this,” he moans, hands roaming along your body before he slaps your ass making you jolt forwards.

“Come on baby, are you close? I'm so fucking close, gonna fill you up and watch my cum spill from your perfect little hole,” Eric grunts making you moan at the visual of the mess you'd make.

“Fuck yes yes yes!”

You first the sheet before one hand reaches back to his hip as he pants and fucks you into your orgasm fast. It washes over you thick and heavy making you cry out his name as you cream all over his cock. You cum leaks down your thighs and clings to his cock as you shudder and pant.

“Good girl oh fuck you creamed all over this dick huh? Good fucking girl, are you ready for me, princess?” He grabs your hips and slams inside, once, twice, a third time before continuing to fuck you though your everlasting high.

“E-eric! Fu-fuck fuck, i-inside!” You gasp, knees feeling shaky as he grunts and drapes himself over your back to shove his cock all the way inside.

White hot cum seeps inside you as Eric moans against your neck, pumping you full as you mewl under him.

Your knees give out and you lay on the bed once Eric begins to pull free, smirking a little before he quietly cleans you up.

“Hey baby…you feeling okay?” He asks, gently pulling you into his embrace once he's done.

You nod, smiling a little.

“So you like it doggy style, huh?” You tease and he smirks.

“Next time I'll just come over when I find something … interesting to try with you, hm?”

 Sangyeon

→during those moments where he really thinks 'I'm so in love'

→loves that you go above and beyond for him as much as he does you, but also loves the little things

→like how you wake up ten minutes before his alarm to put the hot water on for him before he woke up to shower 

Or how you put hot packs in his pockets knowing the weather would be cold that day, or the vitamin packs in his bags knowing he would be on his feet for long hours and would need a pick me up

→and that "I'm so in love" moment comes once more, at a seemingly random time. It'ss Sangyeon’s turn to cook and though you asked multiple times if he wanted help, he plopped you down on the counter and told you your only job was to sit and watch. But when he cuts his finger you're so sweet and concerned, treating him like he cut his whole finger off when in fact it was only a minor surface cut, that the sappy smile automatically stretches slowly on his face

→you keep asking if he was sure he was okay with a pout when you held his hand under the running water and patted his finger dry before wrapping a plaster around it. And he could only chuckle and gather you in a comforting hug, looking upon your face with a warm smile as he promises between kisses that he's more than fine after his baby made him all better. 

→and those little kisses grew into more heated kisses 

→kisses that lead to him lifting you back up onto the counter 

→he can't get enough of your lips, devouring you with a simple kiss. He drinks k your moans, swallowing them right down his throat as he kisses you deep and wanton, hands roaming your back and squeezing your hips. 

 Sangyeon starts mouthing at your neck, bringing your hips closer to the edge of the counter to grind into you when he breaks the kiss to drag your top off. He started to leave slow wet kisses down the slope of your neck while his fingers moved to unhook your bra and pull it down your arms. Those lips trail to your exposed chest to suck on your nipples, removing your panties to grind against you bare when his lips come back to yours; always the need to be close and have his hands gliding your back, using his clothed length to rub your clit until you fall apart just like that, your legs wrapping tight around him, arms clinging as you shudder in pleasure. 

 "Need more." You moan, breathing heavily against his lips, staring into his eyes. 

 Lips slotting against yours, his tongue caresses yours as he meticulously unbuttons his jeans and drags the zipper down. Pulling his cock out, he holds onto his hard length and drags the bulbous tip down your slit to your entrance. With his eyes on you, lips hovering over your mouth, he pushes inches in, only to pull out and slide along your slit again. Teasing you, making you gasp against his lips, he does it all over again. Pushing in deeper, giving you a few more meaty inches before pulling out and grinding against your slit.  Repeatedly grinding and pushing in and pulling out, over and over until he's finally all the way deep inside, pelvis flush against you. He holds your hips in place with a tight grip. Your legs quiver and tighten around him as your insides adjust to the feeling of being full,  of him reaching so deep and stretching you out. He kisses you breathless when he starts to move, delivering deep pointed thrusts that turn your insides into jelly until you fall apart together holding onto each other for dear life.

 Jacob

→when the night feels like magic with you

→Jacob is the kind of partner that loves spending time with you and making memories

→and he loves it when he gets the chance to spoil you and though he doesn't believe you need money to pamper someone, he does love having the chance to treat you to the finer things in life — especially when he knows how much you appreciate it and the aching grin you have on your face when he does

→on this day, Jacob took you out to get your hair and nails done. He bought you a dress he thought you'd love and he was right. You looked stunning. And he kept telling you so all the way to dinner and even during. 

→and when you both get home, with warm smiles, you both knew what was happening next and head straight for the bedroom, your warm hand leading the way

→it was full of giggles and smiles when you both fell onto the bed with your lips on one another. 

 You kiss for a long while, the both of you loving to take your time, with your fingers in his hair until he moves between your legs and they wrap around him. His hands strok up and down your thighs without the slow kisses stopping until he rolls onto his back, smiling as he lets you grind onto him. 

 The pressure of your core on his hardness has you sighing, head falling back as you roll your hips steadily, feeling pleasure course through you. 

 Jacob wants more though.

 He pulls you down, chest to chest so he could reach below your dress and hook his fingers into your underwear and pull them down over the curve of your ass. You help to take them off the rest of the way, resettling on his crotch, but yelp in surprise when instead Jacobs strong hands slide under your thighs and use his hold to drag you up until you are hovering over his face. 

 Your eyes look down to meet his and you know what he wants. With a moan you start to ride his face. His fingers dig into the swell of your ass, encouraging your movements as his tongue slips between your folds and you feel his nose pressing against your pussy. His lips rub against you and you can't stop moaning for him, feeling the warmth of his tongue stroking you to orgasm with each rock of your hips. 

 As you cum for him, shaking over his face, he rockets forward until you land on your back again. Dazed, you don't register Jacob pulling himself from his slacks, not until he pushes into you. Gasping harshly, your manicured nails grip his biceps, nearly tearing through the smart white shirt he has on.

 Smiling down at you, he moves to pull your breasts from your dress and thumb your nipples.  He didn't want to take your dress off, adoring the way you looked and he told you so. "You look so beautiful baby." He praises you when he starts to rub your clit, grinding himself deep inside, stroking your walls until you cum so prettily for him again.

 Younghoon

→at those moments where you're both feeling vulnerable 

→Younghoon is in touch with his feelings and isn't afraid to show his emotional side with you and you love that about him. He makes you feel safe and that you can show your own vulnerability to him. There's trust and respect and the fact that he can be both your rock and your baby has you head over heels for him

→but that's not to say your relationship is perfect and that arguments don't happen. It's bound to happen with anyone and sometimes you both forget that as a couple your biggest strength is communication

→during the argument, that's clearly missing. But when the heat dies down and you finally talk it out, there's relief and that sensitivity you allow for one another. No more defences, you're back in sync and feeling more in love that you could be open and be heard despite both of your pride. 

→that ends up with you on his lap on the sofa. At first, he's just holding you for a long while, like you're his lifeline. Your face buried in his neck and your fingers rubbing against his scalp. 

→and then it's more. His lips leave a trail of little kisses up and down the side of your neck. Eventually stopping at a spot to suck on. You don't say anything, but your heart rate accelerates and you press against him as if you could get any closer, hiding your face against him.

 Eventually he pulls your hoody off so he can kiss across your bare chest. The feeling of his lips dragging and mouthing at you has you whimpering in need, clinging to his broad shoulders in anticipation.

 And then you're on your back so he can kiss down your whole body until he's between your legs. Using his tongue as an apology, you writhe and moan, feeling his expert tongue circle your clit. He licks delicately, changing his rhythm between prodding and poking to swirling around and suckling the nerve, until your hips start to buck and your moans become broken and you cum for him.  

 Kissing his way back up, he crowds over you when he brings his mouth to yours to whisper "I love you and I'm sorry" against your lips as he starts to slowly finger you open. 

 You gasp out "I know I know" your back arching at the feel of his slender fingers curling inside you, making you come undone before slumping. 

 You tell him you love him too as you reach down to stroke him, kissing him again. You push on his chest until he backs up and sits down so you can use your mouth this time. He sounds so pretty as you grip his length and drag your tongue up him. The feel of his veins bumping over your muscle has you clenching in anticipation to feel your insides pressing against them, making you eager to suck on the head of his cock and it's not long before straddling him again. 

 Sinking down slowly, you both groan at the feeling of being so fully connected. Softly moaning, you kiss him between heavy breaths as you ride him slow and steady. Fingers in his hair, Younghoon hugs you, chest to chest, staring at you with dark lustful eyes, not wanting to look away and miss the look in your eyes when you cum all over him.

 Hyunjae

→when he's in his head 

→Hyunjae knows he's not perfect — a realisation he hates being aware of. But that is why he always strives to be the best he can be

→he regrets that it wasn't exactly like that with you. He regrets the many downs it took to have your relationship as strong and secure as it is now. He is hopelessly in love with you, but constantly wishes that he could change things of the past even though you try to reassure him that the journey is what made you both so strong and unbreakable

→and he knows you're right and he loves that you're so burrowed in his heart that your tender words and sweet encouragement can make him feel better in an instant

→that doesn't stop the fact that he still dwells on it from time to time 

→it's on his mind when you're both cuddling in bed.

 It started with sweet kisses as you both lay on your sides. Gathered in his arms, your hands rested over his chest as the kisses slowly deepened until you were practically inhaling one another. 

 His hands start running up and down your back as you clutch his shirt, warm palms sensually gliding, making you want to be closer as you clutch onto his shirt. 

 Hyunjae shifts, rolling until he's above you, never parting his lips from yours. They dance slow and deep and sensual over your lips, making your senses fog up, as his hands run up your sides to grope your breasts. When you whimper into his mouth, it doesn't take long for it to escalate beyond kisses. 

 Never not touching you, he moulds your body beneath his hands until he has a hand down your panties and he can swallow the moans you make for him when he starts to rub your clit. You get so wet for him, allowing his fingers to press circles into you that much more fluidly until you cum. 

 The thing about Hyunjae though, is that he can never stop at one whether he's making love to you or fucking you. He overstimulated you with his fingers. Your clit swells and your moans turn into broken cries as he rubs you into another orgasm. And then again. And once more, until tears bead your eyes.

 "Do you remember the first time I touched you?" He asks as he watches your eyes roll yet again when he has you coming undone.

 You just about find the sanity to croak out a "yes." The pads of his fingers slow, applying less pressure, fingers teasing circles that feel almost ticklish. "Y-you were so mean and rough b-but I loved it." 

 He hums, moving down to brush your lips together before resting his forehead against yours. He starts to slide his fingers inside, moving slow and deep as he watches the desperation grow in your eyes and your gaping mouth release shaky breaths. "I always regretted that." He whispers, just for your ears despite being alone. "I knew from the moment I touched you that you were mine… even if you didn't wanna admit it." Your hips shift and you moan out when he rubs a particular spot, feeding his fingers into you like a slow wave. "I wish I wasn't impatient. That I took my time. Took my time to make you cum as many times for me as I could." The depth of his eyes drown you as he says each word without looking away from you. Whispering, "before filling you up" the words trigger the wave to crash through you, leaving your breath trapped and body jerking. 

 Shuddering beneath him, Hyunjae keeps his fingers sunken in your warmth, as his warm breath caresses your skin with each lingering kiss he paves down your neck to your chest. His tongue strokes at your nipple in time to languid movements of his fingers. His palm presses on your clit, the pads of his fingers pressing up against the roof of your walls when he starts to suckle your nipple, making you cum for him all over again, so fast. 

 You're beyond dizzy, a constant buzz beneath your skin, unable to stop twitching. So sensitive, the faint and careful kisses he leaves down your body feel like he's touching a thousand pleasure nerves at once. Especially when he gets between your legs. His curls tangle between your fingers twisting into them and you pull when he nods his tongue up and down against your clit. The tips of his fingers flicking back and forth inside you have your insides twisting tight. Tears spring to your eyes as the gentleness of his tongue disappears when he sucks on your clit, pressing his face against your folds until you release, your hips rocking against him.. 

 You're fighting for breath, panting with blurry vision when he maps little kisses from one hip to the other, up the plane of your stomach and around your chest until finally reaching your face. He cups your cheeks, thumbs brushing across your tear stained skin. He leans down to kiss each of your eyelids, your weak arms lifting to hug his defined back, rubbing along his skin as you seek comfort from the overwhelming pleasure he's drowning you in. 

 Sliding his arm under your back, Hyunjae rolls until you're both on your side and he can hold you close. He brings your thigh over his waist and starts caressing your skin, moving to gently squeeze and rub your ass. His kisses ground you again, but you whine when you feel his hand run down your ass and curve between your legs, sliding his fingers back inside. Clawing at his chest, he holds you firmly against him when he starts to drag his fingers in and out. You can't even focus on his lips when his fingers are making you so hot you feel like you're burning. So sensitive, your body starts jerking, reacting to the onslaught by trying to pull your thigh back. The move makes his fingers slip from you and on instinct, Hyunjae's hand smacks down on your asscheek in quick succession.

 You yelp, "OW" shaking as the sting shoots right to your clit and realising his actions, he softens and rubs your skin, muttering a sorry against your lips. 

 "Be a good angel and don't pull away from me again." He softly tells you. But it was so hard not to. Especially when he starts moving his fingers more intensely when they slipped back inside, making you twitch and moan and whine against him, only able to claw at his shirt, gripping it for some type of stability as he makes you orgasm for— you've lost count of how many times at this point. 

 He keeps you just like that, foreheads resting together and cuddling you close. Fingers massage into your hair while he takes hold of his cock and guides it to your entrance. He strokes himself up and down making your muscles spasm and drawing gasps from you. Your teary eyes look into his when he starts to push inside, his mouth swallowing the overwhelmed rasp you let out when he fills you completely. 

 Your mind and body hyperfocus on his long length reaching so deeply inside you. His hips are fluid and sweet one moment, when they drag back and forth slowly and hitting sharp and deep the next, making you even more dizzy and wet. The shudders are never ending, spasming over his cock like you're in a never ending orgasm. Legs uncontrollably shaky, you don't even know what kind of noises you make, or if you're even breathing properly, you can barely focus on his lips on yours; you only feel the fullness of him and so, so gone. 

Younghoon is a very cute and lovely boyfriend. He is madly in love with you and treats you very well. He loves having you in his arms, and he will hug you tightly. It makes his day better when he is with you. Younghoon is very soft for you. When you're with Younghoon, he feels like he's in heaven. He loves the way you smell, the way you feel in his arms, and the way you make him laugh. He loves spending time with you, and he always makes sure to let you know how much he cares. Younghoon is a very affectionate person, and he loves to show his love for you in physical ways. He'll hug you tightly, kiss you softly, and hold your hand whenever he can. He loves making you feel loved and special, and he'll do anything to make you happy. If you're ever feeling down, Younghoon will be there to pick you up. He'll make you laugh, he'll tell you how beautiful you are, and he'll remind you of all the reasons why you're amazing. He's the perfect boyfriend, and he'll always be there for you.

Be ready for this big baby to follow you everywhere until you give him attention. Make sure he stays close to you so you know what he wants. Just give up and give him what he wants. Younghoon loves affection, and winter is his favorite time of year to show it. When winter comes, he'll want to be super close to you. Make sure you stay safe around him, and enjoy his stories and cuddles.

When you act cute in front of him, he will melt. He won't be able to resist your cuteness, and he'll pull you into a warm hug. He'll refuse to let you go, and he'll keep whispering how much he loves you. He'll whine when you say you need to go to the bathroom, because he doesn't want to be away from you.

This sweet man will protect you from your nightmares. He will tell you that they are not real and that he will always be there for you. You don't need to worry about anything, because he is here for you. He is so perfect, and having him as your boyfriend is the best thing that could have ever happened to you. When you have a nightmare, he will wake you up and hold you close. He will tell you that it was just a dream and that everything is okay. He will stay with you until you fall back asleep, and he will make sure that you feel safe. He is the perfect boyfriend for you. He is kind, caring, and understanding. He is always there for you, no matter what. He is the best thing that has ever happened to you.

Your boyfriend is a busy man, and sometimes he doesn't have time for you. When he comes home, he's often exhausted and may shoo you away. This can be hurtful, but it's important to understand that he doesn't mean it. He's just tired and needs some time to relax. Arguments can start when your boyfriend is feeling stressed or overwhelmed. He may lash out at you, even if he doesn't mean to. If this happens, try to stay calm and don't take his words personally. Let him know that you're there for him, and that you'll help him through whatever he's going through. It's important to remember that your boyfriend loves you. He may not always show it in the best way, but he does care about you. If you can both be patient and understanding, you can work through any problems that come your way.

When your boyfriend realizes that he has upset you with his words, he will be deeply sorry. He may even cry. He will want to apologize to you right away, but it is important to let him calm down first. Once he has had a chance to collect himself, he will come to you and sincerely apologize. He will tell you how much he loves you and how sorry he is for hurting you. He will ask for your forgiveness, and it is important to accept his apology. After you have forgiven him, he will shyly ask for a cuddle. He will need your comfort and reassurance, and he will be grateful for your forgiveness. Cuddling with him will show him that you love him and that you forgive him. It will also help him to feel better about himself.

Juyeon had sneaked out of the palace grounds, wearing out of his royal attire as he walked into the crowded street market. He smiled, watching the harmonious business running smoothly in his town and the bargaining conversations filled with laughs and the birds chirping above. There was a proud look on his face before he walked past a jewelry stand, him taking a few steps behind to look at the persian blue bracelet that caught his attention. 

As if it was calling his name while the owner of the stand smiled silently, Juyeon reached for it as his hand brushed against another. He didn’t realize you were standing next to him, a stranger who he felt he had seen before. He became breathless, seeing your past run through his mind like he knew everything about you. 

For you, you could see his future. He was in a royal attire, holding your hand as he took you through the white flower fields. Your smiles were exchanged, your cheeks flush in red as your heart rushed throughout your veins. 

“You must be…?” Juyeon broke the silence, catching you staring still at him. He wanted to continue but he couldn’t leave your eyes too, astonished to find you, his soulmate, in such a crowded place. 

“And you must be… Prince Juyeon?” You assumed, knowing he’s really the prince of your town. There was a pause before he laughed. He never thought he’d hear his name being mentioned outside of the palace. He was fond of your small smile and his lips grew, quite amused at everything that was happening in just a matter of seconds. 

It didn’t take long for the day to turn to night when you both spent time together after that first moment, learning about each other more. You both were walking on the beach that night, your thoughts filled with just him as your heart calmed at the breeze. His hands were always on his back, one holding the other; you noticed. It must be the way of the royalties, you thought. It must be why he’s quiet. You stole a look and wondered what’s going on in his mind. 

Juyeon looked over at you, catching your gaze and it made him smile away when your smile grew as big as the shining moon. He wasn’t used to it, falling so easily that his heart kept racing at the sound of your breath. He didn’t even have the courage to hold your hand so he took a deep breath, stopping at the edge of the waves. Watching you go, he didn’t know if he was ready to take you into the royal walls.

It took you days to figure out Juyeon’s quiet nature. He was the next prince to be wedded and he must have been careful with his choices as a royal descendant. In fact, that was why it took a few weeks before he finally brought you in, meeting his father and mother, the king and queen, as well as the other important royals roaming in the walls. 

The visit was welcoming yet, a little off. All eyes were staring, like you weren’t invited; an intruder who wasn’t approved of. All wonderings about who you may be became real when Juyeon announced to them that you were the one he’d wed. 

Arrangements were made right away that you’d be living in the palace until the wedded day, which was in a few days. 

While the palace hustled, Juyeon sneaked into your room one night. He must do that often, you wondered when you were on the balcony of your room. The stars were dancing along beside the moon in the dark sky, as if they were whispering love secretly. You counted his steps to you until his arms wrapped around your waist from behind. You didn’t say a word and cupped his hands with yours. He planted a light kiss on your temple, somehow comforting enough that you didn’t have to turn around to look at his sweet face. 

“It’s hard, isn’t it?” Juyeon whispered, a sigh following when he looked up at the sky. Your light pat against his hand was an answer and when he turned to look into your beautiful eyes, he was smiling. It made you wonder how he could be so loving even at this moment of tension within the walls. “I can read it on your face.” 

It’s harder because of how comfortable his touches had become. Your lips peeked a smile then you turned yourself around so you could hug him back. Your hand found its way to his cheek, your thumb rubbing lightly there. Your feared eyes gazed in his as you whispered to him, “It’s not at all if you’re here with me.” 

Juyeon slowly kissed your lips, his lingering there in softness as if he never wanted to leave yours. He led you inside and laid you down on your bed. 

The way he touched you tonight, you knew you didn’t have to be scared of anything. 

The next morning, you woke up to a bad dream, a dream of him going through a course of losing you. You honestly thought all of those future scenes you kept seeing were over when you saw all of the happy moments of Juyeon’s life. They all seemed to vanish when all you could remember was you dying in his arms to what it seemed like the day of the wedding and the tears in his eyes, calling for you. 

Your outfits were hung in your room beside the vintage dresser and you remembered Juyeon slipping the bracelet that you both had reached for, onto your wrist last night. You thought it was silly of him to get a matching set and he had reasoned it was to remember your first meeting. That memory attempted to calm the tension in your mind as you held him tighter in your arms. 

You felt him moving, a guess that he had woken up at the sound of your beating heart. You faked a smile, looking up at his tired face that was so handsome. 

“Were you even allowed to sleep in my room?” You asked, which made him giggle, his voice vibrating ran through your chest. 

“Of course. I can do whatever I want.” 

“Really? Then I can do whatever I want too.” You planted a good morning kiss on his forehead. You could feel him smiling when he brought his hand up right behind your ear, giving you a kiss on the lips instead. 

There was a moment of silence when you both pulled back. Juyeon, of course, loved finding the sparkles in your eyes; they’re irresistible yet you found yourself seeing a blur. He caught it, his hand now at the edge of your eye to prevent any tears from falling. 

“Should we visit the beach today?” 

You enjoyed a nice breakfast with Juyeon before you were given a short tour around the palace. Quickly after, you both headed for the beach visit, like how you both had done the first time you both met. 

You both were walking, hand-in-hand, along the edges of the waters as he reminisced that night he couldn’t hold your hand. It’s amazing to him that he could now. 

You, on the other hand, haven’t asked him how his relationships were with the people of the palace, but instead, you were distracted by the way he smiled just now. He was in his head, you could tell and it made you smile too. 

“I have to wake up early tomorrow. The maids said it’ll take a while to get me in my outfit and makeup before we can meet.” Your arms swung together in unison as your bracelets brushed each other. 

“All of that just for me?” His smile turned into a grin and you were surprised that you almost laughed. 

“You mean, us.” You looked away at your walking feet, feeling them sinking into the sand in every little step as your laugh tickled his ears. 

“Of course.” Juyeon stopped in his tracks and pulled you to him so you could face him. The breeze was blowing against his hair while the sunset casted its orange light on the side of his face. Your eyes began to tear up, you’d blame the wind. His hand reached your cheek, caressing it, and he assured you, “And if anything happens, I’ll make sure to protect you.” 

You saw the softness in his eyes as he was probably thinking about what you’ve been through. Smiling was all you could do if you knew what would happen tomorrow. 

The next morning, Juyeon woke up to you not at his side. He recalled your conversation from the night before, seeing your white outfit gone. He couldn’t wait to see you. 

A few hours after he had gotten his black suit on, there was a knock on your door. He turned around from the mirror, not expecting a visitor, especially if he had been sleeping in your room. 

A messenger had relied on an order from the King, asking him to visit. Juyeon headed over to his father’s chamber, finding him looking out the window. It wasn’t a good sign, Juyeon sensed, and it must have something to do with you. 

The king turned around, expecting Juyeon there. 

“What is it that you had called for me, father?” Juyeon asked, his head lowering with an arm over his abdomen. 

His father cleared his throat and looked away. “I believe you knew about (Y/n)’s escape.” 

“They would not.” Juyeon looked up. His voice became stern, as if he was determined to fight for your life. “We are meant to be together, father. You know that.” 

“Your stars do not align, the fortune said.” His father had not given his son a look and he continued as he looked out the window again. “Even if they do, I do not allow you to marry someone I do not approve of.” 

“You know that’s not fair.” Juyeon took a step closer to his father though still so far. “What about you and mother? If you were able to be together, knowing you were meant to be, then how could you not allow me to face the same? Isn’t that the rules of life?” 

“You, my son, do not disobey my words!” His father finally looked at him when he raised his voice. 

“I must if you had taken away my happiness.” Juyeon confessed in a stern yet soft sound, making his father speechless. 

“You-” 

“Where have you taken them?” He interrupted and as he left the room, he had his sword in hand. 

On the way back to your room, Juyeon saw his mother walking, fast-pacing through a hallway. He followed her, noticing the locked door where she had walked away from and he knew you were in there. 

Unable to open it by hand, he had to kick it a few times before the doors opened. The room was dark as soon as the doors closed from behind. Looking in the distance, there was a glimpse of you in your wedded outfit but as he ran to you, he stopped at the sudden mirrors of you. His eyes widened, staring at each of them in confusion as if it was an illusion. 

It was a trap. Juyeon knew you were in one of them somehow, and he had to be careful when breaking these mirrors with the sword in his hand. Hurting you was the last thing on his mind as he took an attempt, breaking one after another successfully until there was only one of you. Seeing the real figure of you, last standing a few feet in front of him, clinched his heart. He was out of breath, watching how beautiful your tears wet your cheek. He walked up to you before you fell off your feet. He caught you in his arms before you could reach the floor. 

Slowly falling onto his knee with you in his arms, he whispered your name, in hopes that you’d open your eyes. The light from the little window at the end of the room casted a perfect round light against the both of you when you exhaled, eyes barely meeting his. 

“Sorry.” You managed to say. 

“For what?” Juyeon’s voice aspirated quietly because he didn’t want you to know he was crying. Your soft smile made his tear drop onto the side of your cheek where he was caressing. 

“I saw this scene yesterday, you using your sword on me… me dying in your arms.” You took a breath as he shook his head, his lips getting smaller. 

“You’re not dying, my love.” Juyeon whispered, his voice slow and shaking. He pressed a kiss onto the side of your lips then his arm found its way below your legs before he carried you up into his chest. 

Juyeon took you out of the palace walls through a hidden alley and into the forest where a treehouse was hidden within that you both only know. 

You heard the birds chirping the next day, finding yourself in his arms again. You realized how different what happened yesterday from the dream you just woke up from. You saw Juyeon walking on the beach with you, smiling like there’s tomorrow to look forward to and the presence of your bracelets for the first time in your dreams. When you looked up at him, you knew that this would be the last future vision you would ever see, seeing how happy he looked. There wasn’t a worry anymore about what would come. 

my first story for my personal healing project!

this story reflects how i personally see sangyeon and i am a bit worried that i made it 'too personal' to the point that you guys won't really understand what's going on 😭😭 but i really hope this isn't the case.

another thing i want to emphasise and add! i'm still not used to writing for gn!reader so please, if you see something that should be changed, tell me straightaway! 😭😭 this is a very important topic and as much as i've proof read it, i am still able to make mistakes!

other than that...let's go!

“I’m home!” 

The house chorused in a series of ‘welcome back’s and variants of ‘omg! I need to tell you something!’. You hug your mum in the kitchen, craning your head forward to her shoulder, observing her working hard on the food that she’s making for the neighbourhood party that is happening across the road from your house in about two hours or so.

You relax in contentment as the smell of your mum’s homemade food fills the whole house and you can’t help but let out a deep sigh to relish the familiarity of it, only being able to get a whiff of the aroma maybe once a week, sometimes unfortunately even less.

“How was work?” Your mum strikes up the conversation when you put your chin on her shoulder, your whole body almost dangling if you could due to the exhaustion, “You look like you’re enjoying it.”

You roll your eyes in response, whining for your sister across the other side of the room, in front of the television to keep it down as you could barely hear the sizzling of the meat on the frying pan, “Well, it’s fine, I guess?” 

“Why? Cause at the very least you can see the love of your life?” Your chin detaches from your mother’s comfort, your spine straightening and you let out a gasp, almost scandalous at the words your mum just said, “Hey! You were the one who told me that all your co-workers were teasing you both for that ring on your finger!”

“True.” 

A radiant smile pulls up on your lips when you remember the way your partner knelt on one knee after casually asking you “Do you want to have little, mini versions of us walking around someday?” You, being slow, just leisurely answered back with a “Duh! Of course!” and before you knew it, the ring on your left fourth finger solidified the promises between you two to make that, and so much more happen.

Leaning onto the cupboard that stretches from the floor to the top of the ceiling, you play with the continuous silver band and the shiny diamond protruding on your ring finger. Already touching and feeling it so many times, you remember its grooves and design happily, reciting the next spaces of the ring in your head easily. The smile pulls up further on your face and you squeal at the thought of you walking down the aisle soon.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Your sister shouts in obvious annoyance, “You told me to be quiet and now you’re the one being loud!”

Ugh, this little demon.

“And what are you doing when mum is obviously working her ass off in the kitchen?” You observe your very very lazy sister’s surroundings: she rests her whole body on her side to watch the blown-up performance stage of one of the many groups that she likes, fully stretching and sprawling on the whole couch, bags of opened processed foods on the glass coffee table within her reach and her phone somewhere in the messy pile, “Geez, do something productive for once in your life.”

“Hey.” She finally sits up, not bothering to pause the big screen as the cheers of the fans could be heard clearly and from the corner of your eyes, you could see the new ‘ending fairy’ trend in the new generation of K-Pop, zooming from one member to the next, “Being happy is being productive.”

And you couldn’t refute that, knowing that she was absolutely right.

“Hey!” Your mum hollers your attention back to the kitchen behind you, the steam of the soup creating a soft and white fluffy barrier between her somewhat mischievous and guilty grin, “Do you mind helping out with the mango dessert? I don’t think I can finish it in time. I slept in and started preparations late.”

“Sure!” You immediately agree, glad to be spending some time with your mum anyway, “I’ll just quickly wash up and change. I’ll be right there!”

The routine isn’t anything special for a regular neighbourhood party: shower, do some quick skincare, put on light makeup, style your hair appropriately, match it with appropriate attire and off you go to the kitchen with an apron to save your clumsy, silly self.

“What do you need me to make?” Your eyes quickly scan the fruits, ice, beverages and decorative flowers.

“Your sister was craving some fruit punches. I only have mango and passionfruit available.” Your mum sets some more ingredients for you to use on the kitchen island before turning away to face the stove once more, “You’re good at making these things.” 

“That’s just an excuse right, mum?” The older woman chuckles, nodding in agreement.

You were about to ask your sister to get an idea of what exactly she wanted but the underaged sibling suddenly squeals and the beginnings of a soft instrumental bounce from the walls of the house before a deep, gentle timbre sings. Your lips twitch when the younger girl turns up the volume at the masked man on the television screen. 

“I should add alcohol to this.” You mutter as you start to work on the drink, focusing intently back on your work.

But along the way…

Is a voice from deep within you telling to to listen carefully to the male singer.

When your hand retrieves the unpeeled mango, you stare at it fondly, turning your hand to observe the little marks and imperfections on the skin. Suddenly, the fruit didn’t seem to just be a fruit. The orange-yellow shading reminds you of a boy from your childhood who had the same hoodie as the colour and you remember how he said he would dye his hair to be the same colour when he could one day when he gets older.

Having some sort of background to hair and colouring as your auntie has a salon herself, you commented that it would need a couple of bleaches and an unhealthy hair condition for him to achieve the vibrant colour. You could hear the surprised and stuttering voice in your head, compromising his choice to have a more pastel, lighter look rather than the look that would totally steal the attention of any crowd. 

Smiling at the really faint memory, you couldn’t help but sigh as you recalled that you no longer had contact with your primary school best friend. You both separated when you entered different high schools and despite promising to still have daily meetups in the neighbourhood park, you immersed yourself in your studies as he immersed himself further with the things he wanted to do. It was somewhat bitter but you both had the feeling it was coming anyway. Ultimately, you were glad that the friendship didn’t fade away because of some dramatic high school, hormonal drama.

“Lee Sangyeon, you’re such a good singer ugh!”

“W-Wait…” Your fingers quickly retract from the fruit peeler, whipping your head to the television at the familiar first name that your sister cheerfully shouted for.

It’s also when you realise that your sister isn’t watching live television but rather a replay of a video;  I mean, it had to be a replay because your sister obviously knew the name of the singer even when he still had his mask on to conceal his identity. 

Unknowingly, your eyes stuck to the screen, the mango slowly rolling out of your grip, your breath hitching as the familiarity of the song starts to take over your whole mind. The first observation you had was that his voice changed drastically. It wasn’t as high pitched and the lower register made your entire system start to relax when your lips unconsciously started moving to the shape of the lyrics to the song.

And there he was.

When the MC announced the name that you knew all too well, every muscle in your body froze except for the ones around your eyes as you couldn’t help but let a tear slip out. The nostalgia hits you and the second observation you had was that his smile never changed. It was still the gentle, wide ones that he always offered you whenever he answered your ridiculous questions or when he would ask you to accompany him to play on the swings instead of the slide. No, he didn’t have that hair colour that he talked about with you around fifteen years ago but his light brown shade showed you that he definitely did use similar hair products to achieve the look. 

But that smile.

That smile told you a lot; one of them being that you were sure that Lee Sangyeon was still a very much reliable, positive person.

Even when he introduced himself to the audience, bowing politely as his hair was all messed up due to him taking off his mask, you could tell that even though he was nervous and most probably sweating buckets, he still beats all the allegations from when you were children saying that he looks cold and unfriendly.

His smile and the way his eyes disappear behind his eyelids make the corner of your lips lift as well; even his eyes still hold a smile similar to his lips. It contrasted heavily with his no evident smile, the vertical lines between his eyebrows and how he only made short bursts of eye contact with the audience when he was singing beforehand. 

“You should just become a singer! Not an astronaut!”

“Should I?” Sangyeon could barely kick the surface of the sand with his legs, adjusting his posture on the swings to make sure that the swinging didn’t make him fall off to the ground and potentially embarrass himself in front of all the other kids, adults and their pets.

“For sure!” You exclaim, excitingly rattling the metal chains that held your weight in the air. You lean forward a little bit to escape the said chains and observe your friend beside you, “You have such a gentle personality and I could see you becoming the best leader ever! I could see you taking control, making sure that everything will go well and just being really reliable. Or you could go solo but honestly, it would be fun to see you dancing on stage.”

“Oh come on!” The little boy grunts in response to your laughing, recalling the way he was forcibly picked out from the crowd to do a little routine. Needless to say, he ran down the stage to sit back down with you, hiding his reddened face behind his arms above his knees, “Was I really that bad?”

“Nah.” You immediately saw the smile from back, “You looked a bit silly though.”

Sangyeon rolls his eyes away, still with a wide grin on his face as he observes the sun setting behind the trees and he takes notice of the way the warmth from the orange light slowly disappears from the top of his head to his forehead and is now down to just his chin.

“Well, I’ll just have to go with the flow, I guess.” You admire the way that Sangyeon looked at life. At such a young age, you always thought that he was mature and would take the cruel obstacles that life threw at him one step at a time, “It’s simpler that way anyways.”

His positivity definitely grew on you healthily and he would occasionally remind you that even though life is crap, it’s okay to feel like the whole world is against you and to cry once in a while. Your friendship with Sangyeon most definitely strengthened your mental health and amidst the hard times in life, you also believed that good things would happen one by one slowly. 

“As they say,” You follow his gaze to the barely visible hemisphere that was once high in the day, “Simple is Sangyeon.”

“But I guess I still want to be greedy and achieve all the things that I want quickly with whatever it is that I’ll pursue.”

The little chuckle that escaped from you made Sangyeon turn his attention back. He then sees the series of nods and your closed smile before hearing your approving hum, “Fair enough, fair enough.”

That was around the end of primary school and was one of the last regular meetups before high school where it became irregular and unsteady. 

You were happy though. You still are.

You’re happy that you met Sangyeon even though life took you to your different, diverse paths. Making friends in high school was a big pain in the ass as you had to start all over again from basic introductions and discussions of hobbies. It was so much easier because Sangyeon’s extroverted self carried you to make friends and drag other people into the conversation easily.

“You alright?” 

Your feet had a mind of itself when you realised that the television wasn’t on your ten o’clock anymore but more like your twelve. The younger at the couch had her legs tucked in beneath her body, kneeling on the leather sofa with both of her eyebrows raised in suspicion and concern.

“Y-Yeah.” You gesture to the big screen with a chin tilt, “So…which group is this?”

“THE BOYZ! Oh my gosh, this is what I was going to tell you about when you walked into the house! Look! There are eleven members and they’re all so handsome!” 

The contrasting volume between the two siblings, as they engaged in their back-to-back conversation, had the older woman from the kitchen sighing at ease. Though time was running out and they needed to finish as soon as possible to avoid being late (or being late at an unmannered time), she could see how her oldest child bent their upper body down and used their elbows to support their weight on the backrest of the couch while her youngest flips through the various video contents of the said group. She also remembers the existence of the now way more mature boy that she once knew personally and she has always been aware that even though the friendship ended peacefully, it was still hard on you as you jumped from group to group to find the right people to spend your time with.

Turning the red line of the stove knob to ‘off’, picking up the steaming pot and placing it on top of the coaster to the barely changed arrangement of ingredients that she sets for the dessert on the kitchen island, she lets out an exhale that blows the fragrant ginger away from her face. She didn’t have the heart to tell any of her children to help her out anymore, not when the younger was enthusiastically teaching the older the names of all the members once again after the latter only recalled around three of the names; the mother thought it was a good effort already on her behalf. 

Similar to the stuttering one who points at the still unfamiliar member, she rests her elbows on the cold table stone, one of her palms as a rest for her cheek. The ‘ten more minutes!’ reminder on her phone rang but as soon as the first note blared, the mother let out a quick, surprised sound, lunging to reach her phone across the island, tapping on the ‘silent’ button repeatedly, not wanting to break the chaotic atmosphere of her two kids, “I guess after all these years…”

Finally making the final decision inside her head, she opens the group chat for all the mothers in the neighbourhood to tell them that they won’t be able to make it to the monthly gathering. Amidst the happy squealing and claps when you were able to recite all the members’ names, the front door clicks open to reveal the other parental figure for the two busy children.

“What’s up with those two?” The man amusedly comments at his two precious children, dipping his head down to kiss his wife, “Don’t tell me they tried something for the first time.”

“No, no, no.” Immediately backing up the radiant smiles on both the younger’s faces that pasted on their faces across the room. The couple stays in the hallway, watching the way that you finally sit down on the couch properly next to your sister who shows you yet another stage and a song that you were sure was going to make it to your main playlist, “Let’s just say that there’s a boy who not only makes our oldest the happiest, but now also our youngest.”

“Well,” The dad exhales happily at the good news. One of his hands tucks itself into his pants pocket, the other wrapping around the waist of his lovely wife, “that’s good to hear. Sounds like a decent guy. Who is it?”

“Lee Sangyeon.”

“Damn,” he nods, slightly pouting as he reflects on his own actions, “maybe I should take notes from this guy.”

“Don’t be silly, love. You’re a great dad.” Before kissing another reassuring kiss onto his lips, “Lee Sangyeon…he’s just that type of person, you know?”

“What type?”

“The type that’s capable of making people happy.”

You and your sister finally take notice of the new figure in the house, jumping from your seats to tackle your parents in a hug. More variations of ‘welcome back’s and ‘omg! I need to tell you something!’ spewed out the still-excited youngsters. Your mum calms you both down from your jumping sprees, placing a hand on each of your backs. You make eye contact with your mum and she could see the swirls of adoration, peacefulness and a sort of…relief just swimming freely in your eyes.

The hand on your back runs up and down, your mother understanding how you feel without you even saying it. Once more, she lets her thoughts run and thanks the boy on the screen who was a strong figure in your childhood:

“That’s you. That’s just who you are, Sangyeon.”

The bear keychain bounced against your backpack as you ran ahead. The wind blew strands of hair into your face but your smile remained unfazed.

“Come on, slowpoke!” you teasingly yelled.

Jaehyun watched you from the window. His apartment was only a floor up from the ground, meaning he could converse with you from the comfort of his bed.

“What are you up so early for?” he grumbled, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

“It’s the first day of senior year, Hyunjae,” you grinned.

Hyunjae was the nickname you gave him since the start of your friendship. There were too many Jaehyuns at your school and you wanted to specially differentiate him from the others.

“Yeah but you’re like 20 minutes early.”

“I wanna be the first to choose a seat!”

“Good for you. I don’t care where I sit, so I’m gonna sleep in a little more.”

“You’re really not gonna come with me, Hyunjae?” your expression was a mix of pouting and huffing.

“We’re literally in the same homeroom for the 6th year in a row. You’ll survive 20 minutes without me,” he rolled his eyes as he climbed back under the covers.

“Don’t complain about your seat later!”

Jaehyun gasped as he jolted awake. Glancing at the clock, he sighed.

7:12 AM.

Every year on this day, his body woke him up at this time with the same dream. Or was it a nightmare?

With a grunt, he got up to start his day.

He began by turning on all the lights to rid the place of any darkness. It was a habit he picked up over the years. He couldn’t explain why it brought him comfort. It just did.

Trudging over to the bathroom, he relied on muscle memory to go through his morning routine. He blanked out until he was done freshening up.

Staring at the empty fridge in front of him, another sigh escaped his lips. He had forgotten to go grocery shopping last week.

He threw on a hat and slipped into a pair of worn out sneakers to head out to the nearby mart. It was a small family-run shop located in front of a bus stop.

As he was looking at the cases of water bottles placed outside, he heard footsteps rush by him. The noise made him turn around, catching sight of two teenagers running towards the departing bus. They were a second too late, causing them to groan in frustration.

“Kim Sunwoo, this is all your fault!” the girl accused.

“Me? Oh yeah because I’m the one who spent 15 minutes putting on makeup,” the boy retorted.

“15 minutes is really short for makeup!”

“Whatever. Now we’re gonna be late for school.”

Jaehyun eyed the uniforms they were wearing. Hanlim Arts High School. His alma mater.

He almost chuckled at what seemed to be a familiar scene. You used to always blame him for being late. Even if he was ready and waiting outside by the time you ran out the door with your bow in your hand.

When the bus inevitably passed you two by, he would help you put the bow on as you waited for the next bus to arrive. Bickering all the while.

The old lady’s voice snapped him back to reality. He quickly picked out some things before paying and leaving.

Just like the passing sunset Memories of being immature and innocent They make me stop in place And draw out the days in my memory

By the time Jaehyun left for school, it was raining. It was a complete change of weather that caught everyone off guard. Wondering if you made it to school dry, he grabbed an extra umbrella for you to use on the way back home.

The sky angrily greeted him with a thunderclap. It nearly made him jump in surprise.

“Better hurry up to meet Y/n before she starts crying,” he mumbled to himself as he made a run for the bus stop.

You were terrified of thunderstorms. The loud noises made your heart race and your body tremble. Only Jaehyun took to comforting you without making a snide comment about your fear at the age of 17.

He anxiously waited for the bus that was delayed by the sudden downpour. He barely managed to squeeze inside before the doors closed tightly behind him.

Unluckily for him, he arrived at the school gate 10 minutes late. The dean shook his head as he handed him a detention slip, to which Jaehyun whined at.

“Come on, Mr. Choi, how could I have prepared for the storm that wasn’t even predicted by the weather app?”

“Hurry up and go to class. You’re already late and you’re getting wet.”

With an exaggerated sigh, Jaehyun begrudgingly complied.

When he finally made it to the classroom, the teacher was in the middle of introductions. Sheepishly apologizing, he scanned the room for an empty seat and made a beeline for it.

It was straight in the middle. Literally in the middle of the front and back rows as well as the left and right rows. Your voice nagging at him to not complain echoed in his head. He could already picture you snickering at him.

Except you weren’t.

He looked around but couldn’t find you. Puzzled, he wondered if you tricked him into thinking you were in the same class as him.

“Y/n?” the teacher called out.

When you didn’t reply, she looked up from the roster and eyed the empty seat in the front.

“Absent,” she said as she checked off your name on the sheet.

“Excuse me?” Jaehyun found himself raising his hand before he even realized it. “There’s no way Y/n is absent. We live in the same apartment complex and she left for school before I did.”

“Well, she’s not in her seat so that makes her absent.”

While the teacher continued to take attendance, Jaehyun pulled out his phone and hid it under the desk to text you.

After asking about your whereabouts, he asked if you were okay amidst the thundering. When you didn’t respond to his messages, he began to worry.

He snuck out at the end of first period to go to the bathroom to call you. It rang until it reached voicemail. Now he was really worried.

You were a nerd who was excited to pick your seat in class. Not the type to skip school on the first day.

After 3 missed calls, he hesitated to call your mom. What if he was just overreacting? What if you had finally decided to rebel a little for the first time in your life and he would be the one to ruin it?

His fingers fidgeted in contemplation, hovering over the phone screen.

“Whatever. She’s tattles on me all the time,” he decided as he looked for your mom’s number.

“Jaehyun?” Jacob waved his hand in front of his friend’s face. He looked over to Younghoon, who shook Jaehyun out of his memory.

“You okay?” Younghoon asked carefully.

“Y-Yeah, sorry,” Jaehyun apologized as he poured himself another drink.

His friends stared at him with concern in their eyes. Sensing this, he looked up and forced a laugh.

“Really. I’m fine,” he lied.

He wasn’t fine. Everyone knew that. And he knew that as well. If anything, he was trying to convince himself more than others.

“We can talk about… what happened, you know,” Younghoon assured.

“Today marks 3 years, right?” Jacob sadly recalled.

Jaehyun’s jaw clenched at the mention of the incident. His attention turned to the raindrops hitting the window outside. The forecast had warned him of a storm.

When it began to thunder, his heart ached in memory of you. Unable to bear it any longer, he excused himself from the table.

He stepped outside in hopes of clearing his head. The canopy roof did little to protect him from the rain. It did, however, hide the tears that escaped from his eyes.

With the sound of the raindrops as my companion I used to fall asleep during those endlessly happy times I’m thinking about those days with tears

4 days had passed since your disappearance and the entire town was thrown into a panic. After you were reported missing, the community came together to look for you.

Jaehyun was summoned to the police station for a witness statement. He wanted to do everything he could to help but his last encounter with you haunted him.

“You’re really not gonna come with me, Hyunjae?” your voice lingered in his mind.

“You’ll survive 20 minutes without me,” his own voice mocked him.

If only he had gone to school with you that day. If only hadn’t chosen a mere 20 minutes of sleep over his best friend. If only he wasn’t late and had noticed you were gone earlier. If only he had immediately called for help.

Such regrets consumed him as the cops around him were busy picking up calls and having emergency meetings. One got away from the chaos long enough to finally take his statement.

“I have here the first communication we had with you on the day of Y/n’s disappearance,” the cop said as he flipped through pages. “You were the last person to see her.”

“I told another officer exactly what happened that day,” Jaehyun’s head hung with guilt.

“Yes, we just need a little more insight into Y/n’s personality and life to fully rule out a couple of scenarios. And maybe retracing your steps could help you remember an important detail.”

“She would never just take off without a word. She’s always been mature and responsible. She’s the one who drags me to school and even left early for the first day because she was so excited for our last year of high school.”

“And you don’t know of any changes or new issues she had?”

“There’s absolutely no possibility of her hiding anything from me. She’s the type of person who just has to share whatever’s going on in her life. She also hates being alone so she wouldn’t wander off by herself. If she wanted to go somewhere, she’d beg me to go with her and if she was planning to go somewhere, she’d brag about it to me.”

He felt hopeless as he watched the older man in front of him write everything down. How would this information be of any use?

“Is there anything that would help identify any traces of her?” the officer asked.

“She has a scar above her collarbone from a surgery. A-And she jokes about how she sheds more than a dog because she always leaves a trail of hair behind. Could a police dog maybe find her through that?”

“I don’t know about that, kid,” he sighed. “We have some stuff we found on the path you two normally take to school. Could you come with me to see if you recognize anything to be her belongings?”

Jaehyun nodded before following him to the evidence room. He felt a chill run down his spine the moment he entered.

He put on gloves and began looking through the items. A broken lipstick. A notebook. A hair pin. A reusable water bottle.

Then he saw it. The bear keychain he gifted you on your first Christmas together.

With a shaky hand, he reached into his pocket to pull out his own matching keychain. He compared it to the dirtied one on the table.

A wave of dread dropped his body to the ground. Before he could hear the cop yell out for help, he lost consciousness.

Jaehyun still had the bear with him every second of every day. It symbolized a lot of things. Seeing it gave him hope. Holding it made him feel like you were still with him. Talking to it eased a tiny bit of the pain in his heart.

He was doing all of it back at the table in front of Jacob and Younghoon. Drunk, of course. His sober self would never let his friends see this vulnerable side of him.

“You’re playing a very cruel joke on me, right?” he chuckled, petting the bear’s head. “Well, the joke’s been running for quite a long time now. It’s not funny anymore. In fact, it never was. But if you come back, I’ll forgive you for it.”

Jacob quietly emptied Jaehyun’s glass into his own. Any more alcohol in his system would certainly cause a scene.

“Or are you mad at me? Did you decide you no longer wanted to be friends?” Jaehyun pouted.

It took every ounce of will in Younghoon to hold back his tears. Jaehyun was the only one who never moved on from that day. He still believed that you were alive.

“If not that, what else could it be?” Jaehyun frowned as he tried to come up with an answer.

“Jaehyun-”

“See that? It’s always Jaehyun, Jaehyun, Jaehyun. No one calls me Hyunjae anymore. How irresponsible of you. You came up with the nickname so you gotta keep it going.”

Younghoon had to step out after that. He didn’t have the confidence to choke back his cries anymore.

He and Jacob also lost you back then. He was closer to you than Jacob was, but the 4 of you were close nonetheless.

Your disappearance took a toll on everybody. Everyone mourned and felt a hole in their lives. But Jaehyun had it the hardest.

He blamed himself and spent a whole year relentlessly searching for you. He was burnt out and devastated by the end of the second consecutive year of grasping for straws. Entering the third year, his coping mechanism switched to convincing himself that you weren’t gone.

The image of the bear keychain swinging off your backpack flashed in front of his eyes every time your name was brought up. And each time, his hand reached inside to squeeze his own bear keychain.

“Not very “best friends forever” of you to leave me hanging like this, Y/n!” Jaehyun’s voice raised, drawing attention from neighboring tables.

Jacob took this as his cue to take him home.

“You think she went to Australia without me? She wanted to go for like years. Maybe she just dropped everything to study abroad there? Or maybe she went to Canada! She loved hearing you talk about Toronto.”

“Let’s get you home, Jaehyun.”

“Call me Hyunjae.”

“Okay, let’s go home, Hyunjae.”

Covered by the traces left by time Will I be able to find the days of my youth? The stars in the night sky that shined on me Are they still in the same place?

A funeral was never held for you. Like Jaehyun, your family refused to believe the worst. They left your room untouched, entering it only to keep the dust from piling over your stuff.

As months went by, the “missing” posters faded in color and nature started taking them down one by one. Your case went cold and your whereabouts remained an unsolved mystery.

Despite all that, Jaehyun persistently went around neighboring areas to put new posters up. Almost all local businesses knew him and had a poster hanging in their store.

Like that, he grew older but your smiling face in the picture didn’t. Your social media accounts stayed the same, offering minimal solace.

He looked through your old posts, reminiscing. His favorite was your most recent one—or rather, your last.

It was a photo dump on Instagram, highlighting your last summer together. The two of you hung out nearly every day. That year, you went to Everland, the beach, and Gyeongju.

Now, he could only bitterly smile at the memories.

The first New Year without you broke a lifelong tradition. Your family and Jaehyun’s family usually spent the holiday together but that year, it was different for obvious reasons. He expected that.

What he didn’t expect, however, was an email from you.

His heart dropped at the sight of your name in his inbox. He had to pinch himself to make sure it wasn’t a dream.

“Hi Hyunjae! Wow this is weird and embarrassing. I really hope my future self doesn’t regret this. I scheduled this email to automatically send at midnight. Why? Because I’m a scaredy-cat who can’t bring myself to confess. Everyone around us keeps telling me how painfully obvious it is that we both like each other. Yet I still can’t find the courage to say the words just yet. So this is a time bomb I’ll have to dismantle before the new year comes. If our friends are wrong and you actually don’t have feelings for me, then uh this is awkward. And New Year’s breakfast will be really awkward. If you feel the same way, wear a purple shirt in the morning. If not, wear black. Wear any other color and I’ll kill you for you confusing me.”

He laughed and cried at the same time. He didn’t think that was possible.

Once the initial shock wore off, he completely broke down. The sobbing shook his entire body and his heart physically hurt.

He wore purple on the first of every month since then.

Jaehyun woke up with a throbbing headache. He groaned, kicking himself for the consequences of his own actions.

He dragged himself to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of cold water. He gulped it down in seconds and let out another groan before plopping his torso onto the counter.

After staying like that for a bit, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and started scrolling through pictures. A soft smile rested on his lips as he picked out that week’s highlights to compile into an email.

With 5 photos attached, he began to type out a letter.

“It’s officially been 3 years, Y/n. 3 years without you feels like 30 years. The first year was full of desperation. The second year was when despair started to kick in and I became a little delusional. Even now, by sending you these emails, I convince myself that you’re out there somewhere reading them. Or that they’ll be here for you to catch up on missed times when you come back. All you need to do is come back. Everything is exactly how it was since you disappeared. Your parents keep your room clean and I have all these photos and updates for you to know that not a day went by without me thinking of you. Best friends forever means forever. Forever means I will wait for you until you’re by my side again. I believe that just as much as I’m searching for you, you’re also trying hard to come home. So please don’t give up. I won’t either. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, though sooner is better. I miss you and I love you so so much. I won’t be at peace until I’m able to say it to you in person.”

After hitting “send,” he stared at the suit hanging up. He had left it out in preparation for his internship the next day.

The image of you in your school uniform haunted him each time he saw himself in formal wear. He was aging in the mirror but you remained a student in his memory.

He didn’t get to see you graduate. He didn’t get to see you go to college. He didn’t get to see you get a job.

Time stood still without you. He looked at your pictures every day to make sure your face never became fuzzy.

He was riddled with guilt but made the decision to live to find you and to build a life for you to come back to. He went about his daily routine but at the end of the day, you were the last thought on his mind.

Today was no different.

He pulled himself together to get ready for class. He never missed or was late to school ever since that day.

“I’ll see you later, Y/n,” he smiled at the framed photo of you two before grabbing his things and leaving.

My dreams of my first love are far away now But my heart is still the same The flowing tears are asking me Can’t I go back to those times?