#younghoon

sangyeon - waist or both hands on cheeks

it's like his hands belong on your waist like it's part of your body. sometimes he cups your cheeks and stroking your face with his as he kisses you sweet but deep

jacob - one hand on your cheek

oh god. jacobs kisses are warm and so so soft. his hand go to your cheek pulling you closer. his touch is so soft it makes your knees weak. the way he holds you like you're porcelain, but at the same time he hold you so close like you're about to run away

younghoon - hugging while kissing

you’re lying in bed together, wrapped up in each others embrace. No words being exchanged. just the gentle moment of being close. he is hugging you tightly as you gives gentle kisses all over your face

hyunjae - pulls you by the waist

hyunjae knows he makes you insane and he loves seeing you react. he just grabs your waist and pulls you towards him so close and gives you an annyoing smirk. the kiss is rough but full with gentleness and love

juyeon - one hand on your waist the other on your nape

his big hands make you feel so small. one sits on your waist, caressing your body, while the other lays your nape or cheek. he kisses you deeply, like he wants you close in every possible way.

kevin - hands on your shoulders or around your waist

everything feels light and sweet when you're with kevin. his hands rest on your shoulders or around your waist as he kisses you with that soft, heartwarming kind of affection. he's so full of love

chanhee - holding your face with one hand

i need to sit back for this one. you could be laughing over something sillx when he suddenly stops and tilts your face up with one hand. His eyes linger on yours before he kisses you, slow and deep. he knows it makes you weak and fall for him when he does that. and he loves seeing you like that. he loves teasing you and making you feel like this. (it's a payback for everytime you make him blush)

changmin - arms wrapped around your shoulders

he walks closer to you, resting his arms on your shoulders, he stares deeply into your eyes while smiling showing his cute dimples. he will first start giving you pecks on your cheeks, until he finally presses his lips on yours. deep and soft

haknyeon - both hands on your neck

haknyeon is the type who smiles between your kisses. his hands rest on your neck as he leans his soaking in the closeness. even sitting on the couch, doing nothing, he looks at you like you’re his whole world. oh god im so soft i need him

sunwoo - literally anywhere

sunwoo kisses you however whereever whenever he. wether it's your waist, your shoulders, your face. he’s not shy with affection (at least pretends to be) but god save him when it's the other way around. the moment you tease him about it, making the first move he'll turn red like tomato

eric - holding hands

sangyeon – baby sangyeon's hand pins your wrists above your head, his body pressed firmly against yours as he drove into you with a steady rhythm. your whimpers only encourage him, a low groan escaping his throat as he leans down to capture your lips in a breathless, bruising kiss.

"look at me, baby," he hums against your lips, resting his forehead against yours as his hips roll deeper into you. with a gasp, you writhe under his touch and tug against his restraints. your eyes finally flutter open to meet his, matching the intensity in them. "that's it ... take me just like that."

he cups your jaw, thumb stroking over your swollen lips as his gaze never leaves yours.

jacob – my love jacob fights to stifle soft, shaky gasps as you grind your hips against his. he digs his fingers into your waist desperately, his head tipped back against the pillow as his lips part with a sigh.

"you're driving me crazy, my love," he whispers, his voice trembling with need as you trail kisses along his jaw. you moan into his neck, the feeling of him filling you whole nearly sending you over the edge as he thrusts into you to meet your pace.

his grip tightens, breath hanging onto every moment his hips collide with yours. "don't stop," he begs softly, eyes fluttering open to meet yours.

younghoon – princess younghoon's frame towers over you as he pins you to the wall, his hands beneath the back of your thighs as you wrap your legs around him. his lips meet yours in a breathless kiss, a mess of teeth and tongue as you tug at his already disheveled hair.

he pulls away for a moment, his lips swollen and eyes glazed over as he rests his forehead on yours. you whimper at the feel of him beneath you, the way the friction causes you to arch your back off of the wall and further into him.

"you don't know how badly i need you, princess," he mutters, his voice akin to a whine as he recaptures your lips in a heated kiss.

hyunjae – good girl hyunjae's hand grips firmly on your hip as his fingers sink into you every stroke slow and deliberate. you writhe under his touch, a string of whimpers slipping past your lips that you struggled to conceal.

"such a good girl," he growls, his voice low and teasing. he holds your gaze, every movement of his fingers sending a wave of pleasure down your spine. "so wet for me already."

he leans down, his teeth grazing your shoulder before he nips at your collarbone. you clench around him, earning another groan from him as he trails his tongue along your neck.

"just wait until i fuck you."

juyeon – baby girl "you like that, baby girl?" juyeon groans, his palm pressed to your stomach as he slides in and out of you at a relentless pace. you can't be bothered to hold his gaze as you bite back the scream that threatens to escape you. "let me hear how good it makes you feel."

you claw at his back, the sting dragging a hiss out of juyeon as his hand moves up to your neck with a gentle squeeze. your eyes roll back as you try to ignore the high that's about to spill over, hoping to feel juyeon stretch you out just a bit longer.

juyeon can sense what you're doing and chuckles, his fingers tightening as you finally give in to the moans that slip past your lips. "i want to hear you say my name."

kevin – honey "keep still for me, honey," kevin whispers against your earlobe, his fingers already knuckles deep between your folds. you bite down on your lower lip, stifling the moan that threatens to escape you. the uber driver catches your eye in the rearview mirror and you offer a nonchalant, tight-lipped smile in response, as if to say 'all good back here'.

kevin chuckles against your skin, enjoying how he was able to rile you up. he picks up the pace, whispering all the ways he planned to ruin you once you were back at the hotel. you shudder under his touch, nails digging into his forearm as a desperate attempt to steady yourself.

"i'm not done with you yet," he informs you, slipping his fingers out of you as the uber crawls to a stop. he ushers you out, covertly sucking every drop of you off of his fingers with a wicked smile.

chanhee – my star chanhee's face is unreadable as he sits across the room from you, hands flush on the arms of his chair as his eyes meet yours. you lay sprawled across the bed, lingerie strewn to the side as you run your own hands over every inch of your body.

you catch the way his eyes darken as you slip your fingers into your mouth, gliding your tongue over them before you bring them to your entrance. a soft gasp escapes your lips as you insert them, moving exactly the way you wanted them to. your face flushes when you realize chanhee's never seen you pleasure yourself in this way and you avert his gaze, your mind a mess of embarrassment and the pleasure that stirred in your core.

"don't look away from me, my star," he coos, his voice like honey from across the room. "i need to see you like this."

changmin – doll your body trembles under changmin's as he continues to thrust into you, his slow, deep strokes dragging out your orgasm longer than you'd wanted. the pleasure churns in your stomach, every nerve ending on fire as he pushes even further and lowers his hand to your clit.

"changmin, please," you beg, breathless from the way your high has shifted from waves of pleasure to overstimulation in the blink of an eye. it was a confusing sensation, the way your body convulsed in response to the fact that he was making you feel a little too good.

"begging now, are we, doll?" he asks with a grin, his own voice breathy and a sign that he was all too close. you cry out as he rubs circles into your clit, forcing you to see stars as his pace finally grows erratic and he let himself release.

sunwoo – my girl your palms lay flush on sunwoo's dresser, the only thing keeping you from collapsing onto the floor as sunwoo drills into you from behind. his hair falls over his face in disheveled waves, his swollen lips parted as his own hands steady your hips.

"that's my girl," he groans, his voice strained as he meets your gaze in the mirror before you. your eyes flicker between his and the sight of you bare before him, fucked and clinging to his furniture. "taking it so well."

you can't help but internally roll your eyes at his cockiness, ignoring the way it spurs you on to cry out his name in a drawn-out moan as he brings you closer to your high.

eric – angel "that feel good, angel?" eric asks from under you, hands fighting again their restraints to caress your thighs. you glance down at the scarves you used as makeshift cuffs to the armchair, a smirk gracing your lips as you grind your hips harder against his. drunk from the pleasure, he rests his head back and admires you through hazy eyes.

you shudder in his lap, the feel of him stretching you out as you drag your hips along his cock causing your spine to arch as you throw your own head back.

suddenly, the feeling of his fingertips snap you out of your pleasure as you glare down at him in confusion. his hands sit firmly on your waist, a mischievous grin stretched across his face as he carries you across the room and to the bed. he cages you beneath him and leans in close, his lips pressed to the shell of your ear.

"my turn."

haknyeon – pretty girl "there's my pretty girl," haknyeon sings as you saunter through the front door, his face lit up. you set your bag aside and greet him with a kiss on his cheek, his eyes slowly traveling down to your trench coat you wore to evade the cold. "is it really that cold outside?"

"well, no," you admit, fingers fiddling with the waistband as you glance up at him innocently. "but it could've been if i didn't wear my coat."

"why's that?" he asks, the picture of innocence that quickly dissipates into a dark hunger as you slip the coat off of your shoulders and let it fall to the ground. you stand bare before him, snaking your arms around his neck as he does the same to your waist. "oh."

The cheers and applause startled you from your nap, causing you to snap awake. You bolted up right, vision blurry and heart pounding.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did we wake you?”

“… um…”

“Sorry. We can go home now.”

“… okay…”

You had actually finished recording your lines for the next album earlier in the day, but the boys didn’t want you going home by yourself. It would only be a few more hours until everything was finished up, so you could hang around and wait. You stayed awake for the most part, but as it got late you felt sleepy and decided to take a nap. Now that everything was done you were ready to go. You got your things and kept the blanket wrapped around you as you left the studio and made it to the van. As usual you wound up in the back sandwiched between two of the other members. Once you were comfy you let your head rest on Juyeon’s shoulder and closed your eyes. You could take another little nap on the ride home.

It was best to get as much sleep as possible. Even with the vocal work done for the album, now you had to move on to the concept photoshoots and music video filming. You only had one day to rest now that the songs were done. When you got to the dorm you tried to sneak away to an empty room only for Kevin to catch you and bring you back over with the others. They wanted to celebrate the completion of the songs, and everyone should be present for that. A few drinks and snacks wouldn’t hurt, and you should have known better. It was important to socialize and enjoy these moments as a group. Of course you did wind up falling asleep after a bit, curled up on the floor with a pillow under you.

“Ah, she fell asleep…” Sunwoo commented, creeping over to pet your head. “Why didn’t she come home earlier?”

“We were all still busy recording, so she’d end up coming back herself.”

“You could have called one of us.”

“It would be a hassle to have one of you come get her.” Sangyeon stated. “It was better for her to stay with us until we finished.”

“Well she should certainly get some proper sleep now.” Younghoon got up, going over to coax you awake. “Y/n, come on, let’s go to bed.”

“… hm…?”

“Don’t sleep on the floor, my bed is waiting.”

Younghoon helped a sleepy you get to your feet, letting you lean against him while he excused himself from the others.

“I’ll turn in for the night with y/n.”

“Alright, good night.”

“Don’t make so much noise.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Younghoon led you to his room, helping you wash up and getting you out of your clothes so you could sleep comfortably. You were half awake as he snuggled against you, but you didn’t mind his presence. There were pros and cons to being in this group, but never sleeping alone was certainly a good thing. It wasn’t always this way though. You remembered when you first came to this company. You were just following a friend to an audition, but while there the judges convinced you to try out as well. It would be a fun memory at most, and you expected nothing to come of it. Then days later you got a call. Apparently you passed, whereas your friend didn’t. Your immediate reaction was to reject the offer, but they insisted you think it over and get back to them by the end of the week.

You did tell your friend about it, assuring them you weren’t interested in being an idol, but they told you not to waste such an opportunity. It may not have been your goal, or dream, but you actually had a chance to be famous. Having their support really encouraged you to give this a real shot. If you didn’t like it, you could always back out, so there was no harm in seeing where this went. You called the company back while your friend was at your side, accepting their offer. A while later you were sent all the information, being told where to be and when. Your friend seemed to be more excited than you, but they were happy for you in the end. When your first day came they accompanied you and dropped you off, wishing you luck.

You felt so small. The company wasn’t one of the big names, but being there still made you nervous. A staff member led you to a conference room, telling you to wait inside for the CEO and other managers. You figured the first thing would be a discussion about your contract, but when you stepped into the room you froze. There were a handful of other boys already seated at the table, and when you opened the door all eyes were on you. It was obvious you were the only girl and that added a new layer of nerves. You offered a shy smile and sat down, keeping both seats on either side of you empty. This made sense though. You weren’t the only one who auditioned that day, so this was probably meant to welcome all the new trainees. 

You expected at least one other girl to walk in at some point, but it wasn’t long before it was just you and eleven other guys. The seats next to you had been taken, and you certainly felt awkward. No one was talking or making eye contact, so at least you weren’t the only one who was nervous. Eventually the door opened and those that appeared to be company staff came in. You all got up to bow, waiting until your elders were seated to settle back down. Quick introductions took place and then you started to talk about your future. The company wanted to create a new group, which you figured, all the boys would likely be placed together, which left you the odd one out. 

The thought of working as a solo artist was certainly not what you had in mind. If that’s what they wanted you’d likely walk out right now, but then the word co-ed came up. The company actually wanted all twelve of you to form a group. They wanted to try something different, although you wouldn’t really call it co-ed if you were the only girl, but this was a deliberate choice. For the most part you’d be categorized as a boy group given that they were the majority, but your place in it would be rather significant. The company wanted you in the group as a physical embodiment of the fandom.

Most fans of a boy group were girls, and you’d represent them within the group being a girl yourself. You didn’t really like this idea, feeling like your position here would be more of a shield than an idol. Since they’d always be around a girl, it would make scandals less likely, but you’d certainly face backlash too. The company assured you that you were there because you passed your audition and they wanted to work with you. Not as a means to protect the boys. What they really wanted was to have someone who the fans could look up to and see themselves in. Someone talented and incredible who stood alongside the others as an equal. They were really trying to get you on board, but you were still hesitant. There would be trouble from the start, and you didn’t know if you could handle that.

The rest of the boys started to speak up at that moment. This group would certainly be unique, and they weren’t ignorant to the issues you’d face, not to mention the struggle you’d all have from the moment you debut. It really was a risk for all of you involved, even without the weird co-ed angle, there was no guarantee you’d actually make it in the industry. They wanted to give this a try with you, and they promised to look after you no matter what came your way. You were all here to take a chance, and it wouldn’t be fair to the rest to just walk away. None of you had even started on this journey, so there was no harm in taking the first step. In the end you agreed to join this group and see where it took you. By the end of the day you were officially a trainee, starting a new chapter of your life.

🖤

Your original plan was to sleep in on your day off, but Chanhee came to drag you and Younghoon out of bed to eat breakfast. After that you were free to go back to sleep. You were still a bit sleepy when you got to the table, but awake enough to eat on your own. Everyone intended to rest but tomorrow you’d all have a busy schedule. Unfortunately you were one of the first ones to go in, so you’d have to be up super early. At least you wouldn’t be the only one, but still. On the van ride over you were dozing off, trying to stay awake, but that wasn’t working out. Your body already knew what was coming and tried to prepare as best it could. You totally slept through hair and makeup, only waking up when the manager said your shoot was coming up.

This concept was certainly unique. You were dressed up in a school outfit with a tactical vest on and collar. For now you were just doing a photoshoot for the album. While you were in front of the camera posing you had to keep a serious face as some of the other members kept cheering you on and trying to get you to break. Once the photographer told you he was done you bolted over to get back at them, making them run off. They got lucky when Changmin caught you and asked you to film him for some behind the scenes footage. You agreed, being the best director you could and letting him talk about the outfit. It was mostly comfy, but the collar could be a bit tight for certain members such as himself.

“The collar looks cute on you though.”

Hyunjae came into the shot for a moment, commenting on your look before taking the camera and pointing it at you and Changmin. 

“They’re like a matching couples outfit.”

Changmin wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close, the two of you laughing before you were pulled out of frame and Hyunjae went off elsewhere with the camera. You eventually did the group shoot, being with the maknaes for some unit shots as well. The boys insisted on holding hands every now and then too since they wouldn’t be in frame. Just the usual on set shenanigans.

“Here you go.”

At one point Haknyeon surprised you with a snack. Apparently he had hidden a bunch on his vest and was doing his best to help everyone stay awake. There were still plenty to do in the day, but you had a decent amount of downtime. That is when you weren’t roped into something else. Changmin had found you again, getting you to show off the point choreography with him. The ‘M’ was the really fun part of the choreo and he had you copy him by placing the hand symbol on your face like a mask.

“So cute! I think Deobi is gonna like this comeback.”

The boys always teased you about being cute, a lot more when the cameras were off. Not to mention this time around there was something more. You had all been given a disposable camera to take pictures with, instructed to use all the film. Chaos ensued and there were a lot of chases going on. Not to mention they all wanted you to take a picture of them and were more than happy to indulge in whatever pose you wanted from them. Once you were done for the day you went home with some of the others. Your original plan was to sleep but you wanted to work on the choreo some more. The others were pretty spent so you snuck out of the dorm and made it to the practice room. Your dancing was way better than when you had started out, but this choreo still had a lot of movements. One misstep had you falling to the ground and hitting your face.

“… ugh…”

You felt a sting on your face, reaching up and finding blood. You had busted your lip in the process, panic starting to take hold.

“… fuck… fuck… fuck…”

You scrambled to your feet, cleaning the floor where you had fallen to wipe away any blood. Then you gathered your things and put a mask on, needing to get back to the dorm immediately. You made it back without incident, but heard someone was up. You thought you were screwed but then saw Chanhee getting ready. He was likely the first one on set today, which meant you had a chance.

“Chanhee…”

“Huh? What are you doing up? You still have a few hours before you’re needed.”

“I know, but I’m worried about sleeping in by accident. Could I go with you? I’ll feel better sleeping on set.”

“Okay, just don’t forget anything.”

“Thanks.”

Luckily Chanhee didn’t question the mask, he was still tired too. You on the other hand had anxiety running through your veins that you were trying to keep under control. When you got to set Chanhee went off to get ready, meanwhile you found some place to hide under the guise of going to sleep. Even if you wanted to sleep, you couldn’t in this state. Once you were sure Chanhee was elsewhere shooting, you snuck over to the stylists and asked them to cover up your busted lip. The tear shoot was today and at least for the first half you had to look normal. The stylists did a great job and you could finally feel at ease. You were still cautious though, hoping the tears wouldn’t reveal anything.

Honestly now you were nervous about crying. You had done so before in front of them, multiple times really, and this wasn’t you in a vulnerable situation, but you still felt shy. Crying on command wasn’t easy either, but Younghoon gave you some pointers on the matter. Everyone was taking tips from him, but you also knew you had plenty of things in mind that could make you cry. Back when debut was approaching you were starting to lose your nerve. In theory you could be the only girl in an otherwise all male group, but letting the whole world see you was freaking you out. Not to mention the name of the group was The Boyz and yet you were a girl. The company even figured out a fun little slogan if anyone ever asked how you felt being in the group. At the end of the day you were just ‘one of the boys’ and you said that so much back then.

The other members talked with you a lot the night before debut. They were nervous too, but they knew your situation was slightly different. You had made it this far all together, and this was your moment to shine. They gave you strength and vice versa. The day you got on stage with them was incredibly exhilarating. People liked the group, people liked you, and that’s all you could have hoped for. The concept you were going for was just a group of friends enjoying life together. So it was all laughter and joy. Of course things weren’t perfect. Even if everyone seemed to get along with the idea of you simply being ‘one of the boys’ on screen, behind the cameras it was a different story. You knew you’d be criticized for being surrounded by boys, and even the boys faced some hate for being so close with a girl.

It wasn’t long after debut that Sangyeon had confiscated your phone. He didn’t want you browsing socials and looking at all the hate comments. You had real fans who liked the group just the way it was. Those were the people you should care about. You were still a new group and had much to do so it was better to focus on that. All together you built up your group and fanbase, ultimately giving them a name, The B, one they voted on themselves and many pronounced as Deobi. Since you were meant to represent the fandom, a lot of the members would call you Deobi too, both on and off camera. With you around they could do much more in regards to fanservice, and it felt more natural for them too. That of course led to hate too, but they boys did well to shield that from you.

Although even now you weren’t really allowed to have a phone. They argued that since one of the other members was always with you there was no need. You had tried to argue for one multiple times, but the answer never changed. You could ask to borrow one from the others, but they’d keep an eye on what you were doing and could take it from you at any moment without explanation. They were just looking out for you as they always said, which is why you were so scared for today. If they found out you got hurt, there would surely be trouble. Not to mention the tears were already gonna make them extra attentive. They never liked seeing you cry.

So when it was finally your turn for the shoot you had quite the audience. Honestly having them there made you all the more nervous that you wound up crying real tears. Of course everyone thought you were just that good. Once the photographer was done a bunch of them came over to hug you and sooth you, telling you how well you did and not to cry anymore. You eventually calmed down, glad the tears hadn’t ruined your makeup. With that out of the way you could actually sleep now. You had time before your next shoot and found some place to rest. Sangyeon settled down next to you, petting your head to help soothe you to sleep. You weren’t the only one taking a nap, and that could always lead to teasing.

“I guess everyone is tired.”

“Sh, keep it down.”

Hyunjae was filming those who were napping, but Sangyeon told him not to disturb you. He complied, but the running and screaming from others certainly woke you up. For a moment you panicked as you didn’t know what was going on, but then your senses returned to you. The others were just messing around with the camera. You couldn’t help but smile. They were so silly at times you were glad to have them as friends.

“Did they wake you?” Sangyeon asked. 

“No, it’s okay. If I sleep too long I’ll be groggy and my face is gonna be puffy.”

“Then let’s go somewhere less noisy and let them mess around.”

Sangyeon helped you up and you both went elsewhere, away from the cameras. They had gotten real good about being subtle, but you were well aware that they didn’t like having you on camera too much, especially all alone. Since debut you didn’t get a lot of screentime, and it was very rare to have more than a few solo shoots per comeback. Even now there was still some hate and criticism, but it also seemed that they just wanted to keep you for themselves. It wasn’t just comebacks either, you didn’t have any solo schedules. 

You’d always be paired up with at least one other member when doing other activities. If you had nothing going on, but everyone else was busy, you had to tag along with one of them. You did get offers every now and then, but unless one of the other members could join you in said activity, it would be rejected. To a degree you knew it was to protect you, but it felt childish too. Even though you were a member of the group, even though you were an idol, you honestly weren’t used to the spotlight. They kept you out of it so often, and never let you do things alone you weren’t sure you could even do solo schedules at this point.

“Y/n, they’re looking for you in makeup.”

“Coming.”

The second half of the shoot involved all of you getting roughed up with some prosthetic makeup. You got your face decorated with scrapes and bruises. Thankfully none of the members were around at first so the makeup artist could help you clean up and treat your busted lip. It would match the aesthetic the concept was going for, so now you could really relax. Especially since all the other effects on you looked realistic too. This photoshoot was more fun, so you didn’t mind the audience. When you finished up you were immediately swarmed and your hair got snagged on something, which then wound up with your lip getting hit. You yelled and immediately tried to hide your face only for Eric to grab your hand and check on you, seeing real blood on your fingers.

“You’re hurt.”

“No, no, it’s just makeup and-”

Before you could finish Sangyeon grabbed your face, his thumb pulled at your lip to see it bleed and make you wince. You couldn’t deny it now.

“What happened?”

“…”

“Y/n.”

“It’s nothing, I-”

“Y/n.”

You sighed. “I… I snuck out to practice on my own last night… I had a misstep and busted my lip… I’m fine, Sangyeon, really, it fits-”

“Why did you sneak out to practice?”

“… I want to do well this comeback… after the kingdom stuff we got a bunch of new fans… and people have been questioning why there’s a girl in a boy group…”

“We’re a co-ed group. If you felt nervous about all the new fans you should have talked to us about it. You know we’re here for you.”

“I know… we just got a lot of new eyes on us… and I want to make a good impression.”

“You already have. Real Deobi love you, as do we.” Sangyeon gently tapped your cheek before letting go, then turning to the rest. “Now who was supposed to be watching y/n last night?”

“It was me.” Sunwoo admitted. “We went to bed together but I guess-”

“It’s my fault.” You cut in. “I didn’t want to worry anyone with how I felt and snuck out on my own. I know it was wrong but… I’m sorry, don’t be mad at Sunwoo.”

“That’s why you wanted to come early.” Chanhee realized. “So you could cover up your injury.”

“… sorry…”

“Let’s just get you fixed up and finish the shoot, okay?” Jacob took your hand and started leading you back to the stylists. “There’s nothing to worry about.”

Even though you knew they were upset at you for hiding your injury, you felt relieved to have it out in the open. Usually you didn’t keep secrets from each other, but you never liked having the boys worry about you more than they already did. Once you had finished your shoots for the day you were going to get your makeup off when Younghoon intercepted you. He grabbed your arm and took you away from all the noise and cameras.

“What is it?”

“No one’s here, so you can let it out.”

“Huh?”

“You’ve been angsty all day. Now I know why. No wonder you couldn’t stop crying earlier.”

“I’m fine.”

“It’s okay to cry. I know things have their own difficulty on your end, but we’re always here for you. If you want to cry, then cry, no one’s gonna hear us here.”

It felt silly to break down the way he told you too, but you did need to get these tears out of the way. You were always nervous for a comeback, but had gotten used to things. You had your fans, but with all the big things going on lately, you felt a new type of pressure on you. Between your sobs you mumbled apologies, but Younghoon just pulled you into his embrace and rubbed circles into your back.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, we got you.”

When your tears settled down you walked back with Younghoon, hand in hand. He stuck around with you until you were back to your usual self, trading off with Kevin so you wouldn’t be on your own. He was very clingy with you, wanting to make sure you felt his love. Tomorrow would be a more energetic shoot that involved group choreo and proper filming for the music video. Then there was some content filming. That prank scared you half to death, you had to hide in the cuddle pile afterwards.

“You guys are so mean!”

“You screamed so loud.”

“What if I hit one of you!”

“It would have been fine.”

It did suck that you were stuck on set till early in the morning. You were supposed to be with Younghoon and he was the last one filming. He did have cool shots though. When you finally made it back to the dorms some of the others were still up, and you certainly wanted some food. Although Jacob insisted on putting ointment on your lip.

“It’s healing well.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t hurt that bad.”

“If you ever wanna do some late night practice in the future just let me know.”

“I will.”

“Good.”

“Are you gonna put on some makeup for Halloween?” Haknyeon asked. “Or use your injury and do something badass?”

“I haven’t decided yet. I should be okay for release day, right?”

“Yeah, it wasn’t that bad to begin with.” Hyunjae assured. “It fits the theme either way.”

“Lucky me.”

The members decided on your Halloween outfit just as they had done in the past. When it came to things like this they always had a say in how you looked. Since the photoshoot and filming were done there was still other content to make. The company wanted you to do this whole puzzle thing but you could eliminate one another if you ripped off their heart. Not long after starting, you heard about Younghoon and Eric being eliminated. Moments later Eric was running around looking for you and when he found you he ambushed you with a hug.

“They’re gonna take me away! It’s not fair.”

“Ya, you should have been more careful.”

“It’s not my fault. I knew Haknyeon was going to do this.” Eric pouted. “Why don’t you come with me?”

“You can’t rip my heart off since you’ve been eliminated.”

“You could give it up.”

“Never!”

You tried to free yourself but Eric kept his hold on you. Since you were messing around you didn’t hear Haknyeon come in until he ripped your heart off too.

“There, now you can both go.”

“Ya!”

You and Eric were now on the same team, and both wanted to get back at Haknyeon, but you had somewhere else to go. Now you were pouty too, but the second you heard you could eliminate each other you knew this was going to happen. They loved teasing you about such things, and it also got you off camera. You still managed to participate in some of the game, and it was fun overall. When you weren’t filming you wanted to practice, some of the others joined you as well to avoid a repeat of last time. Although they knew you liked to practice until you were satisfied.

“That’s enough, y/n.”

Juyeon came up from behind while you were dancing and wrapped his arms around your waist. He placed his chin on your shoulder, rocking you side to side.

“You’re making me tired just looking at you.”

“I’m fine, I want to practice.”

“I know but you gotta give yourself a break. You’re gonna do great.”

“Just a few more minutes.”

“No, no, no, that’s enough for today.” Juyeon pressed a kiss to your cheek. “That’s an order.”

“Ya! Ya!” Changmin yelled. “None of that when we’re so close to a comeback, you know the rules!”

“It was just a peck.”

“That’s how it always starts.”

“Fine, fine, but no more dancing. Let’s go back home.”

“Just one more time…” You begged. “Please.”

“One more. I’m gonna hold you to your words.”

“Just one, I promise.”

It was moments like these in the practice room that washed away all your worries. No matter what happened, at the end of the day you were all living your dream together. This may not have been where you imagined yourself to be, but it was a fantasy that had turned to reality. You were nervous just like them as you waited in the green room, all dressed up and ready to show the world your latest song. For that reason you were sitting in Hyunjae’s lap while you were fed some fruit.

“You excited.”

“No, I’m a Maverick.”

“Very funny.”

You laughed at your own joke despite the groans from others. It was a way to help ease the nerves.

“Our favorite Deobi is so silly.” Jacob pinched your cheeks playfully. “I’m so happy to get on stage with you again.”

“Me too.”

Performing for the fans made it all worth it. You got to show off your talents and listen to the cheers from those who adored you. The ending fairies were also fun too. For one show Juyeon and Hyunjae reenacted their little fight from the music video and as planned you got in between them. You were front and center for a moment before Juyeon pulled you off screen so Hyunjae could finish things. You laughed as he pulled you into the air before others coming over to surround you acting a bit like this was another attack. You were all still laughing after the cameras stopped filming. This was another successful comeback.

🖤

When you didn’t have schedules and weren’t tagging along with others you just hung around the dorm. Either in the common area to watch TV or borrow someone’s phone and chill in their room. Even here you weren’t left alone. You had your own room, but that was just for your things, there wasn’t a bed in there. At first you did have your own bed, but the boys eventually agreed it was better not to leave you sleeping alone. So you’d basically rotate as to whose room you’d sleep in at night, or throughout the day. 

For the moment you were chilling in Jacob’s room, using his phone to browse social media. Some recent pictures of Kevin were circling around and you noticed one was where he was hugging you from behind. Neither of your faces were visible in the shot, but from previous images anyone could recognize Kevin. You remembered when this was taken. Just some behind the scenes shenanigans. Of course many Deobi would be able to recognize you in the photo and you looked over the comments with a smile.

‘They look so cute together!’

‘He looks like he gives the best hugs!’

‘Absolute boyfriend material!’

‘This is so unfair!!!’

Your smile dropped a bit as you noticed other comments as well. It was expected. Not everyone was nice. You knew it was better to drop it and move on, but your curiosity won out.

‘I still don’t get why there’s a girl in the group. It’s so dumb.’

‘Is it actually the girl in the group or someone else? I swear she looks completely different every comeback.’

‘She’s only there to cover for them actually dating IRL.’

‘How come she hasn’t been kicked out yet? They shouldn’t be hanging around with any girl!’

“Give me that.”

The phone was suddenly snatched from your hand and you looked up to see Kevin. At some point he had come into the room and saw you frowning, immediately taking the phone without question.

“Ya.”

“Don’t read that shit. You know they’re not real fans.”

“… I know….”

“What is it now?”

Jacob took back his phone from Kevin, seeing the photos and comments as well. It was clear they had gotten to you. At least somewhat.

“Why did you post this?”

“I didn’t. I just gave the managers some pictures, I didn’t know they’d actually use that one.”

“Something like this should stay between us.”

“Sorry.”

“I know.”

Jacob put his phone away and crawled into bed, pulling you into his arms. He snuggled against you, Kevin soon joining you to sandwich you between them.

“You shouldn’t listen to what anyone else says. Their opinions don’t matter, only ours do.”

Jacob punctuated his words with a kiss on your cheek, making you smile. Kevin followed suit, wrapping his arms around you as well.

“You know those people are just jealous. It’s better to ignore them.”

All three of you moved to the common area later, deciding to make dinner for the rest of the group. It put your mind at ease and kept you distracted. There were always other things to look forward and you should focus on that. The next day you actually accompanied Juyeon and Sunwoo as they went on some talk show. You weren’t participating in the actual filming but were merely tagging along. So you hung around behind the cameras, making sure not to be in the way and watching the other two. It was a live filming too, so there were some fans around. To make sure you kept a low profile you had a hat and mask off, making sure to stay out of the light. 

Afterwards some of the fans were allowed to take pictures and get some autographs from Juyeon and Sunwoo. Interacting with fans was always nice, but you weren’t here for that today. You kept to yourself and waited around where you believed to be out of sight, but some Deobi had good eyes. Before you knew it two fans were shyly approaching you, trying to get a good look at you and asking if you were from The Boyz. You immediately got nervous, trying to be polite with the fans, but you didn’t just want to turn them away.  You did sign the albums they had brought along, engaging them in a little conversation as well. 

They asked for a photo and you couldn’t really say no. You took your hat off, fixing yourself up a bit and planning to remove the mask when the hat was suddenly snatched from your hands and put back on your head. It took a second to register Juyeon before you, seeing him with a kind smile, but his eyes seemed to show something else. Sunwoo was also with him, and the two happily greeted the other fans. They saw that you were just about to take a photo and offered to make it a group shot. Next thing you knew you were between your members and making a peace sign for the photo. Afterwards the fans were off and Sunwoo grabbed your arm, dragging you back and away from the crowds.

“Are you okay?”

“Huh? Yeah, yeah, they just spotted me randomly. They must have good eyes.”

“You should have politely turned them down.” Juyeon commented.

“They’re our fans, I can’t just do that.”

“You deserve privacy too.”

“I know… this wasn’t my schedule to begin with…”

“Huh? No, don’t think like that.” 

You all came to a stop and Sunwoo took your hands in his. By now you had your head down low and he was leaning down to meet your eyes. 

“We want you here with us, okay.” Sunwoo assured. “This schedule may have been for two, but we are so happy you came with us. You weren’t expecting to interact with fans today and just cause they were here doesn’t mean you had any obligation to them. You shouldn’t have gotten so far from us either.

“… still… sorry…”

“You have such a good heart.” Juyeon commented. “That’s why our fans love you. Let’s get back.”

Either every morning or every night before bed you’d discuss schedules. Mostly where you would be going or if staying home was an option. While discussing at the dorm one of the managers came by, you thought they needed to talk to ones of the boys but they were actually there for you.

“They want me to do a yogurt advertisement?”

“I want in!” Haknyeon said. “That sounds like fun! And free yogurt!”

“Actually, the company just wants y/n.” The manager explained. “They want to advertise to girls and want a female idol.”

“Then why didn’t they go ask a girl group?” Hyunjae questioned. “Y/n’s one of the boys, she’s ours.”

“They liked your last comeback and felt it was a more mature look. It’s not over the top and girly, and that’s what they want.”

“Just y/n?” Jacob asked. “Absolutely no one else?”

“That seems to be the case.”

“Hm…”

“I want to do it.” You mumbled. “It sounds fun.”

“What did you say?” Younghoon questioned. “You actually want to do a yogurt ad?”

“… yes… I feel like I don’t do much to represent the group and something like-”

“You are perfect the way you are. You don’t need to push yourself to do something like this if you don’t want to.”

“But I-”

“What would be the schedule?” Sangyeon cut in. “Do they even have an outline for her?”

“They provided one and even marked where they could reschedule if necessary.”

The manager handed over the file which Sangyeon looked over. A few others peeked over his shoulder, pointing and making comments.

“This won’t work.” Sangyeon stated. “It interferes with all our schedules too.”

“I can do it alone.” You assured. “It’s for me anyway and-”

“No.”

“No? Why? I-”

“None of us would be able to accompany you, and you are not going by yourself.”

“I won’t be alone. The manager and-”

“They don’t count. The answer is no, and that’s final.”

“The offer is for me, why do you have a say in it?”

“Multiple reasons. You are a member of The Boyz, and I am the leader here. You’re also a girl, and you should never be alone. I’d take this into consideration if someone could at least go with you, but that’s not the case.”

“They’re open to moving around some dates, or one of you could reschedule and-”

“Our schedules are already set, and to change something without good reason isn’t right. This is only an offer and not confirmed. You’re not doing this.”

“But-”

“You’re one of the boys, remember, and you always have to have a boy with you. End of discussion.”

To make his point clear Sangyeon ripped up the files, handing the pieces back to the manager. Tears stung your eyes, and you were trying to find the right words but you just kept opening and closing your mouth in silence. The manager didn’t make a fuss and left. Then a moment later Chanhee came over to hug you.

“There, there, it’s okay. You’ve never had a solo schedule before, and we wouldn’t want you doing this all by yourself.”

“… I… I can… I want to…”

“No, no, what kind of members would we be if we let you do something so dangerous, hm?”

You shrugged Chanhee off and got up, intending to go to your room, but Jacob caught your arm, holding you back. You tried to free yourself but he merely pulled you down into his lap, hugging you tightly despite your squirming.

“You’re not allowed to go off and be alone while you’re upset with us.”

“Let go.”

“No, not until we clear all this up.”

“Clear up what? You don’t want me doing things on my own, you don’t think I can.”

“It’s not that we don’t think you can.” Changmin corrected. “We don’t want you doing it by yourself.”

“Solo schedules aren’t always the best.” Younghoon added. “Remember when I was filming a few months back?”

“… you had emo hair.”

“Yeah, and I recall you liked it. My point is, even though I was friendly with the rest of the cast, I felt quite lonely without you guys around. The days you did come with me on set were the best, even others realized I was in a better mood.”

“What if you get super busy after doing this ad?” Eric whined. “Then we won’t see you as much anymore. We’d miss you so much. I can bear the thought.”

“That won’t happen.”

“You can’t know that!”

“Solo work comes with its own risks.” Kevin added. “We wouldn’t want anything happening to our special Deobi. Please don’t be upset about this.”

“I’d be on my best behavior…”

“If something else comes up in the future where you wouldn’t be completely alone, then we’ll talk about potential solo schedules.”

“…”

“Are you still upset?” Sunwoo asked. “What can we do to make it better?”

“… can I just go to my room for a bit.”

“Okay.” Sangyeon agreed. “Someone will go get you for dinner.”

“Hm.”

Jacob finally let you go and you quietly got up. You excused yourself politely and went to your room. There was a lock on the door for your own privacy, and even though you had no real reason to use it right now, you still used it so none of them could barge in. One way or another they always got you to let go of a solo schedule. Whether it was an availability constraint, or just convincing you it wasn’t a good idea. Even if it was scary and dangerous you wanted to try something on your own, but they had always been very adamant about not leaving you alone. You sighed and pulled out a blanket, laying it out on the floor and resting on top of it. You stared at the ceiling with all the plastic stars. It was times like these when you felt like you weren’t an idol at all.

🖤

“Y/n.” Hyunjae knocked on your door. “Come on, open up, you know you’re not supposed to lock the door unless you’re getting dressed.”

The lack of a response was annoying, and as Hyunjae kept knocking he didn’t hear any movement. He was starting to worry something had happened. He quickly went to Sangyeon’s room and grabbed the key, getting the attention of some of the others. Without bothering to try again Hyunjae unlocked the door to your room, and let himself in.

“Y/n!”

He found you on the floor, lying atop a blanket. He was quickly at your side, shaking you and startling you.

“Hyunjae!” You sat up and pulled out your earbuds. “How did you get-”

“Why did you lock the door?”

“Huh?”

“The door was locked and I had to get the key. You know you’re not supposed to lock your door.”

“I… I just… wanted some alone time…”

“You scared me, I thought something happened.”

Hyunjae hugged you tight, and that’s when you realized some of the others were standing at your door. You had locked yourself in your room for a bit and put headphones in, not thinking much of it. You just wanted a bit of alone time, but that didn’t work out well.

“… sorry…”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Hyunjae assured. “As long as you’re alright.”

“Dinner’s ready.” Jacob mentioned. “Let’s go.”

At the end of the night you wound up in Sangyeon’s room, unsurprisingly. If he ever felt that something was up with you he had you sleep with him. You didn’t want to be troublesome and sound like a little kid whining about useless things, but this time around it was really bothering you. If you wanted to talk about it again you’d have to wait for the right moment, so for now you would just get some sleep.

🖤

“Y/n!!!”

You were startled awake by Haknyeon screaming your name. He burst into the room and jumped onto the bed, squeezing you tightly.

“What is it, Haknyeon? Isn’t it too early to be this loud?”

“I come with fantastic news.”

“Hm?”

“They said yes!”

“Huh? Who said yes? About what?”

“That company that wanted you to do a yogurt ad for them? They said they’re willing to do a group shoot.”

“What?”

“You’ll obviously be the main character, but the rest of us can be in it too! Isn’t this great!”

“Wait, are you serious!?”

“Yup!”

Haknyeon showed you the paperwork he had brought along. It had an outline for the shoots and obviously the schedule had changed a bit to accommodate all of you. Besides the big group shoot, the individual ones could be done in multiple sections so as to not mess up any other schedules.

“Is this for real?”

“They really want you, and that’s awesome. I’m so proud of you.”

“Wow…”

“Of course we’re still gonna have to talk things over with the others, but I have no doubt we’ll do this.”

You were overjoyed with the papers in hand. Sure it wasn’t exactly a solo thing anymore, but the fact it was something for you got you really excited. This company wanted you for their promotion so badly they were willingly to include the rest of your members. You were the one who got this offer for the group, and you were so happy to do so. A smile was plastered on your face the whole day, already imagining how it would all go down. Of course there was a group discussion for scheduling to figure out how everything would be broken down, but in the end this project had a green light and you couldn’t wait to get started.

Individual and unit shots would be done first and you would be participating in all unit shots since you were to be the center. For the first schedule you were going with Eric, Sunwoo, Haknyeon and Changmin. You were so giddy on the ride over and your energy was contagious. Upon arrival you were greeted by the staff you would be working with. Your outfits for the shoot were in the style of school uniforms, which certainly gave off vibes from your last comeback. You were led over to hair and makeup, although you wound up separated from the others. Eric was quick to grab your arm and question why you would get ready elsewhere. You were all part of the same group and do these things together all the time.

“We understand, but more needs to be done with y/n, and you boys have your individual shoots first. This is the most effective way to do things.”

“… oh… okay…”

Eric reluctantly let go, and you were led to another room. There was a whole other team waiting for you, greeting you with smiles and expressing their joy of working with you. Besides the makeup, the company wanted to style your hair a certain way, so as the other staff member said before, you would need more work than the boys. You did feel a bit uneasy being alone with strangers like this. Usually you’d chat with the other members, or even if you were tired and quiet there was comfort in knowing they were in the room with you. Although even if you wanted to stay quiet, these stylists were very chatty.

“Can I ask, what’s it like being in a group with all boys?”

“I mean… we are co-ed.”

“But they outnumber you eleven-to-one, does that get intimidating?”

“No… they’re nice, and they look after me.”

“Having eleven boys caring for you must be such a dream. I hope they’re still modest.”

“Of course! I’ve never… seen anything…”

“I would hope not. It’s also dangerous to be around so many of them.”

“They’re not dangerous.”

“They are still boys with their own wants and needs.”

You knew that very well. There was no way you could be with all those boys for so many years and not see things. Or get involved. At first they respected your privacy a lot. Being mindful of when they showered and not walking around half-naked in the dorm. Although things did shift after that one incident. You thought you were alone in the dorm early in the morning, wanting to whip up breakfast only to find Chanhee passed out on the couch. He only caught your attention cause he was tossing around and whimpering. You thought maybe he was having a nightmare and went over to wake him, only to notice a tent in his pants with a wet spot. It was too late to walk away then, Chanhee waking up and grabbing your arm. He was still half asleep, so he might have thought he was dreaming.

“… y/n… can you help me…?”

“… uh… I…”

“Fuck.”

Chanhee let you go and sat up, his face burning as he tried to conceal the tent in his pants. You looked away as well, feeling the awkwardness in the air.

“… sa… sorry… I didn’t… sorry…”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s… um… it’s fine… I’ll just…”

You weren’t sure how either of you were gonna move past this. Of course you’d never speak of it again, but being the only girl around, and being so eager to please, and wanting to get along with them, some stupid words naturally spilled out.

“… did you… need help…?”

“What?”

“… I just… sorry… that was stupid… I’m gonna go and… yeah, sorry, forget-”

You got up and intended to go hide in your room but Chanhee grabbed your arm again. You stopped and glanced back at him, seeing the gears turning in his head.

“… would you… would you mind…?”

“… uh… no, not really… you seemed uncomfortable before… I thought you were having a nightmare… I just… I wouldn’t know… what to do…”

“Not much… I could show you.”

“… sure…”

Chanhee pulled you closer and you wound up on your knees before him. He seemed nervous about this too, but he pulled his pants down just enough to let his dick out. He was semi-hard in the moment, hissing from rubbing the fabric of his pants against it and from the sudden chill. You stared for a bit before you figured that might be rude.

“… um…”

“You could… you could just use your hand… grab it and… move up and down…”

“… okay…”

You had an idea as to what he meant, rather awkwardly wrapping your fingers around his length. He squirmed and you quickly apologized but he assured you that you weren’t hurting him, it actually felt nice. With that said you began doing what he said, moving your hand up and down. Every little thing you did had him whimpering under your touch. After a few good pumps he was fully erect and had precum leaking from the tip. It coated your hands as it dribbled down, making your motions smoother. You seemed to be doing well as Chanhee looked pleased.

“… fuck… yeah… just like that y/n… can… can you… put it in your mouth… just the tip…”

“… what…?”

“No! Wait!” Chanhee placed his hands on your shoulders, making you stop. “I didn’t mean that. I got back from practice and was all sweaty and tired, I wouldn’t make you… fuck, we should have done this in my room at least…”

“Oh… then what do you want to do?”

“Uh, just use my shirt for the mess.”

“Okay…”

Without missing a beat Chanhee took his shirt off, and his bare chest was right in front of you. Beads of sweat made him shine and your mouth hung open a bit.

“You can touch if you want.”

“… no… it’s okay…”

You shifted your focus back to Chanhee’s dick, moving your hand at a steady rhythm. You felt every twitch, every throb, every vein along his length. In its own way it was mesmerising, knowing that your simple touch was turning Chanhee into such a mess. He had no shame in falling apart right before your eyes.

“… faster… faster please… I’m close…”

You complied with his request picking up the pace. His body twitched and you could tell he was trying to hold back for as long as possible. His hips jerked upwards to match your movements. You weren’t sure what to expect as he inched closer to climax, but before you knew it he placed his shirt over his crotch area and you could feel his sticky semen getting on your hand. You felt a bit embarrassed and looked away, slowly pulling your hand free and wiping semen onto his shirt. He was out of breath as he came down, a dopey smile on his face.

“That… was nice…”

“I bet it was.”

An unfamiliar voice startled you both. When you looked over you saw Younghoon by the main door hallway, clearly having just gotten back and neither of you heard him. You felt your face burning up and lowered your gaze, Chanhee freaking out.

“I… I can explain!”

“Explain what? You were horny and asked our pretty girl here to jerk you off?” Younghoon scoffed and walked over to you. “He didn’t force you or coerce you in anyway, right?”

“No! Not at all!” You quickly remarked. “I volunteered to help and-”

“You volunteered?”

“I… I… I offered to help…”

“Ah, well aren’t you adorable. I’ll keep that in mind.” Younghoon ruffled your hair. “Now both of you go clean up, and make sure you don’t leave a mess or I’m telling Sangyeon.”

Younghoon went off to his room, leaving you and Chanhee in awkward silence. You weren’t sure what to do, but you couldn’t meet Chanhee’s eyes.

“You should go clean up, I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Are you-”

“Yes, yes, I got it, and… thanks.”

“… yeah, sure.”

You scurried off to your room to wash up properly, trying to move past the whole ordeal. Even if only three of you knew what happened, you weren’t surprised the boys started talking among themselves. It wasn’t long before they knew about your good deed. They wouldn’t just straight up bring it up, but they certainly weren’t as shy and reserved as before. On one occasion you had gotten back from practice with Juyeon. You washed up and were gonna grab a snack only to bump into Juyeon. He was shirtless and walking around with a towel, he was fresh out of a shower and surprised to see you.

“Ah… sorry…. I…”

“I thought you washed up and went to bed.” Juyeon stated. “Why are you up?”

“I was hungry…”

“Oh, okay, let’s get some food then. I’ll order.”

Juyeon returned to his room and you went to the kitchen, trying to get the mental image of his chest out of your head. He joined you moments later, wearing joggers and leaving his upper half exposed. You quickly hid your face from him.

“You don’t mind right. It’s more comfortable to be around the dorm like this.”

“No… no, not at all…”

“If you want to walk around in a bra or short-shorts I don’t think any of us would mind.”

“Ah, that wouldn’t-”

“Even braless is fine.”

“Juyeon!”

“I’m serious. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. We’re all in the same group, we live together, we help each other out. No need to be shy.”

“It’s not-”

“You got real close to Chanhee lately.”

“That… that was…”

“Normal. We help each other out when we can.”

“You… what…?”

“What? You think we haven’t seen each other’s dicks? Or watched porn together?”

“I… well… I wouldn’t know… that’s… that’s a boy thing…”

“And you’re one of the boys, aren’t you?”

“I… that’s my slogan…”

“And true, isn’t it? You’re one of us.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think I should get involved with you all in such a manner.”

“No? You’ve never thought about us in such ways? No fantasies?”

“… no…”

“Hm. I kinda think you’re lying. You live with all of us, there’s no way you haven’t had thoughts.”

“I haven’t…”

“We have.”

“Huh?”

“We’re not allowed to date, which usually sucks, but it’s not so bad when we have our own girl around. No scandals will come of us going out for dinner or being out in public together doing couple things. We’re just friends in the same group after all.”

“I…”

Juyeon came over to you, grabbing your chin and forcing your eyes to meet. Your face was still burning, and he grabbed your hand, placing it on his chest. You tried to pull away, but he kept a firm grip on you.

“We’re not stupid you know. You have needs just like us, but you do your best to hide it.”

“Huh?”

“Come on, we live with a girl, of course we looked up about your cycles and hormones and stuff. You certainly have a time when you feel needy. It’s kinda cute to see how you get so flustered around us and try to keep a distance. I’m not sure how you got them, but Sunwoo found a box of toys in your closet.”

“Ya! Why was he going through my things!?”

“Not gonna deny it, huh?”

“I mean… I…”

“Nothing to be ashamed of. Although, there’s no need for toys when you have the real thing right here. We’re all different, so you have options.”

“… that’s not… right…”

“We’re all consenting adults, aren’t we?”

“… yes… but…”

“I know, I know, there are some complications and things to worry about, but nothing we can’t handle together, right?”

“… uh…”

“Just a thought I wanted to put on the table.”

You averted your gaze, hand still on Juyeon’s abs as he began to drag your fingers down. Before you could even think to pull away the doorbell rang.

“Ah, food must be here, I’ll get it.”

Juyeon released you and walked off, leaving you with a lot to process. He was so forward with his words, and you didn’t doubt the others shared in his sentiments. While you ate things continued on as normal, even if he was shirtless. When some of the others came back they did a double take, but made no comment. It was definitely another change in the dorm atmosphere. Of course they had no problem adjusting and getting more comfortable. Walking around shirtless with briefs was more common now and it really made it hard to keep your thoughts straight. Not to mention they’d get bold in other ways too.

“Y/n!”

You were in your room going over the music for the next album, trying to get familiar with the rhythm when Kevin suddenly burst into your room. He startled you and apologized, but quickly shut the door.

“What is it? Is something wrong?”

“Yes and I need your help.”

“Okay, what can I-”

It finally dawned on you that Kevin was acting weird and a quick glance downwards. Now you understood what he needed help with.

“Oh… uh…”

“I know, I know, but I tried to deal with it but it won’t go down.”

“Is… is that really a problem you guys have…?”

“Yes… very embarrassing, and I wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t serious. My hands aren’t working so maybe-”

“My hands? I mean I could-”

“No, I was thinking… something else…”

“Something else? What do you… you… you want a blowjob?”

“Yes, please, pretty please, I can’t take it anymore.”

“I’ve… I’ve… I’ve never… done…”

“I’ll guide you through it, please, just please do this for me.”

“Okay…”

“Thank you, you’re the best.”

Kevin ushered you over to his room. He took one of the pillows from the bed and placed it on the floor for you. He sat at the edge, and you got down on your knees. Your nerves were acting up again but Kevin pet your head and assured you that you’d do well. Just like Chanhee had done before he slid his pants and briefs down just enough to free his cock. It immediately sprang up, red and throbbing and slimy, you could definitely tell Kevin had been trying to get his erection to go down for a while now.

“This is gonna sound weird, but treat it like a popsicle.”

“I figured…”

“Just start with the tip, and it’s gonna taste a bit salty.”

“I know that too…”

“Well, aren’t you smarter than you let us think.”

“Shut up.”

“Hm, just start slow.”

In theory you knew how to do this. No teeth, use your tongue, every inch of his length was sensitive, and he wasn’t wrong about treating this like a popsicle. You took a breath and then leaned in to kiss the tip of his dick. You moved slow, wrapping your lips around his length, bobbing your head up and down. You couldn’t take much of him, but given his approving sounds, you were doing well. To make up for what you couldn’t do you’d use your tongue. Kevin was trying to keep still, but his hips kept jerking to meet your lips. Feeling all the sensations in your mouth this time around was odd, but you could certainly tell when he was getting close.

“… you… you don’t… don’t have… to swallow… I have a towel… just… just keep… going…”

You merely hummed in agreement, not wanting to lose your rhythm and ruin things for him. Before you knew it Kevin lightly shoved you back and fell to his hands and knees, moaning and jerking his hips. You got some tissues to clean yourself up, letting him finish up on his own.

“Fuck, I needed that.” Kevin sighed in relief. “Gosh it finally calmed down. Thank you so much baby.”

“Baby…?”

“It’s cute, isn’t it? I’ll make sure to clean the room, and I owe you one, whatever you want.”

“Okay.”

“Cool. Thanks again.”

Kevin made sure not to leave a mess before stepping out to the bathroom and you immediately went back to your room to go wash your mouth. That was a first, not entirely a bad experience, and Kevin seemed to enjoy himself too. You knew this probably won’t be the last time you did something like this. Slowly you’d wind up exchanging favors, always asking and never demanding anything. It was weird at first, but as you got used to it, you all became more comfortable with one another. Although even if you messed around, a line was never crossed. Cause if you did, it would lead to complications. You knew they were aching for it, you too at times, but there needed to be restraint.

🖤

“Eric, please sit down already.”

“I don’t like this.”

“We don’t either, but we are here to do a job, now sit down.”

Eric had been pacing back and forth in the dressing room, two of the others getting their makeup done first. He was worried about you, and didn’t like you being elsewhere. He wanted to run out and go find you, but Changmin had already reminded him to behave and not cause trouble for you since at the end of the day, this was your schedule. With Changmin’s warning he plopped down on the couch with Haknyeon, trying to calm his nerves.

“She’s fine.” Haknyeon assured. “So don’t worry.”

“She hasn’t been alone for shit like this in years, how can I not worry?”

“She’s not completely helpless without us.”

“I don’t like this.”

“Things were like this when we first started, remember? Separate rooms and all.”

“Still.”

“Just relax, we’ll see her again for the shoot.”

Once Changmin and Sunwoo were ready they were escorted to set, while the other two got ready. The duo partially expected to see you, but you were still getting ready. For now they would do individual shots. Changmin went first, meanwhile Sunwoo tried to stay put and look around, hoping to spot you. Instead Eric and Haknyeon joined him a while later.

“Y/n’s still not done?” Eric wondered.

“I guess not.”

Sunwoo stepped before the camera, and Changmin joined the others. They made small talk among themselves. They were all waiting for you, but you didn’t seem to be coming. The last one was just about to wrap up when you showed up. With you present the photographer had you do the group shots. You were at the center and the boys could finally be at ease. Although that didn’t last. With the group shots done, the boys were ushered away, unable to stay and watch your solo shoot. They were cleaned up and then forced to wait around for you. It wasn’t until everything was done that they finally saw you again. All together you thanked the staff for their hard work and headed off.

“That dragged on forever.” Sunwoo commented. “I don’t like it.”

“Did you behave?” Changmin asked you. “We weren’t there to keep an eye on you.”

“I didn’t cause trouble… but I did miss you guys.”

“We missed you too.” Eric wrapped an arm around you. “Let’s never do something like this again.”

You didn’t comment on the matter, not wanting to seem clingy. It did suck that despite being a bit of a group schedule, you were completely on your own. You didn’t even get to be on set while they had their individual shots, and they weren’t there for yours. It made you feel so awkward and alone, but at least the day was done. The next time you went to set you were accompanied by Sangyeon, Jacob, Kevin, and Juyeon. The staff was glad to see you again and eager to work with you. Of course things were going to be like last time, being separated from the boys, and you tried to speak up about it but were cut off.

“It’s okay, y/n.” Sangyeon gave you an assuring smile. “We’ll be alright, you just behave yourself okay. We’ll see you on set.”

“… oh… okay…”

Sangyeon gently pushed you towards the staff member, waving as you went off with them to a private dressing room. Once you were out of sight Hyunjae was quickly on him.

“What was that!? She didn’t want to go by herself!”

“She wanted a solo schedule, remember? Let her have it and see if she can really do it. Come on, you guys better behave too.”

Sangyeon had gotten the run down from Changmin, knowing the would be separated from staff and likely not see each other except for the group shot. That was basically how it went down, and Sangyeon could see how your eyes sparkled when you saw each other. It was only for a bit, and then you were on your own again. Once it was all done you clung to Hyunjae.

“Long shoot?”

“They take a lot of time dolling me up.” You pouted. “I thought they’d do better this time so I could see you guys.”

“It’s okay. I bet you did great.”

“How would you know? You didn’t stay to watch.”

“I couldn’t, sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

You obviously missed them, and the shoot wasn’t as fun as you thought I’d be, but you had to see it to the end. When the third group was scheduled, you went with Younghoon, Juyeon and Chanhee. You thought maybe since you were only four this time, and surely the makeup artists knew what to do, you could be together, but staff still told you to go elsewhere.

“Be a good girl and go with them.” Younghoon said. “We’ll see you later.”

“… yeah…”

You walked off with the other staff, putting on a smile. The three others watched you for  a bit before heading to their own dressing room.

“She seemed so sad.” Chanhee commented. “Sangyeon is so mean for telling us to let her go alone.”

“It’s fine.” Younghoon countered. “She’ll be extra affectionate afterwards.”

“I bet.” Juyeon added. “She’s not really used to being alone anymore.”

“Exactly.”

You were glad that all that remained was the full group shoot. Being with all the members felt right, and you weren’t separated this time. You did still take more time getting ready, but you didn’t mind as the others made the time pass by quickly.

“Who’s so pretty.” Kevin teased. “Our Deobi.”

“Ya.”

“What? You disagree? You don’t think my Deobi is pretty?”

“You can’t be saying that.” Changmin stated. “Deobi loves us and we love Deobi, right?”

“Yes, yes, that’s all true.” You laughed. “Deobi loves you very much.”

“Yes she does.”

With everything officially wrapped up you were excited for everything that came next. Besides the company doing their own promotions, you guys also had to endorse the product. That meant you were given plenty of yogurt, and it was quite tasty. The boys didn’t let you take any solo pictures for socials, so at least one had to be with you. It made you glad to have their support, and you were happy to be able to do something for the group. Although even this would have its troubles. Despite seeing that the yogurt was selling well, people still had things to say. You were browsing some comments with Younghoon’s phone while chilling on the couch, the other members around, and one really caught your eye.

‘It’s funny how this was technically y/n’s promo, but the boys did all the work.’

Other comments seemed to agree with the original, saying you couldn’t really do anything without them. Younghoon noticed the drop in your smile and took the phone, seeing the comments and getting upset himself. Some of the others then took the phone too, seeing what had cause a problem now.

“Aish, don’t listen to them.” Younghoon said. “They don’t know what they’re talking about. You did this all on your own.”

“It’s not wrong though… it was supposed to be a solo but…”

“You know it wasn’t gonna work out as a solo, but it kinda still was, wasn’t it? Didn’t you have fun? It really was your schedule.”

“… it was scary…”

“Scary?”

“You guys weren’t there at all… I mean you were, but we weren’t together… not really…”

“Yeah, I’m not surprised.” Sangyeon commented. “They wanted you, so they gave you more care and attention even if we were around. That’s how solo schedules work.”

“Hm.”

“You didn’t like it? I thought that’s what you wanted.”

“… not if I’m all alone like that…”

“Ah, well, there’s a simple solution.”

“Is there?”

“Yup. No more solo schedules. If you didn’t like this, imagine if you were actually on your own. That’d be even scarier.”

“… yeah…”

“It’s good we agree on this. Now cheer up, you did a great job regardless, and if people aren’t gonna appreciate you like they should, we’re here for you.”

Of course such words meant you were gonna get smothered in hugs. They always liked to pile on you in order to cheer you up. 

“So, no more solo schedules?” Eric questioned. “Right?”

“I won’t do solos ever again, promise.”

“Awesome!!!”

Even if things got complicated every now and then, you were always reminded that the members had your back no matter what. They always had your best interests at heart, and you couldn’t ask for better friends. Things slipped back into the usual routines, but of course there was somethings none of you really accounted for. With more attention on you, that meant more people knew your names and faces.

🖤

“I’m so ready to go home…”

“Last time we were practicing like this you didn’t want to leave.” Chanhee remarked. “One more won’t hurt.”

“Alright, alright, I get it. I can do one more… I think…”

You were certainly tired from all the practice and tripped over your own feet, crashing against Sangyeon. Both of you fell to the ground, but you were on top.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine… sorry…”

“I guess we are done for today. It’s pretty late, so we should head back.”

“Thank you.”

After getting your things you headed down with the others. Or at least you thought you had everything. When looking in your bag you realized you left your makeup bag. Without thinking you told the others you forgot something and would get it real quick.

“Wait! Y/n! Just forget-” Sangyeon tried calling out to you. “Aish, someone go after her.”

You scrambled up the steps and went back into the practice room. Your makeup bag was in the corner and you quickly snatched it up. You’d certainly freak out if you couldn’t find it in the morning, so it was good you realized you almost left it behind. You were gonna head back to the others when you bumped into someone.

“Oh, sorry, I found it and…”

Your words trailed off when you saw that you ran into a complete stranger. The hat and mask certainly didn’t make you feel any better either.

“… sorry… I need to get going…”

“You’re y/n, right? You’re very pretty in person.”

“Ah, thank you.”

“Are you okay?”

“Huh?”

“I always worry since you’re the only girl in a boy group. It has to be terrifying at times.”

“… uh…”

“Especially since they’re much stronger and just grab you like a bunch of perverts.”

“No, no, it’s not like that. We’ve always been-”

“I wish I had known about you sooner. You’re really amazing on stage.”

“Ah, you must be a fan…”

“Big fan. I wanted to see you before your next comeback. I hope your next theme isn’t so rough on you. All your tears made me cry too.”

“That was just acting, nothing real.”

“It felt real to me.”

“Well, I assure you, I’m fine. Now I do need to get going, so-”

“Ah, right, right, could we get a picture? I was also hoping you’d sign my favorite album.”

“… uh… sure, sure…”

“Y/n!”

You heard Sunwoo call your name, immediately feeling relieved to see a familiar face. He was a bit out of breath, but happy to see you too. He noticed the other person, but didn’t think anything was wrong at first.

“Apologies, we were just leaving, have a good night.”

Sunwoo reached over to grab your arm and pull you along. Although as soon as you took a step the fan grabbed your other arm, pushing Sunwoo off you.

“Don’t be so rough with her.”

“Huh?”

“She’s not like the others you can’t just-”

“I’m sorry, who are you?”

“Just a fan, Sunwoo.” You explained. “We do need to get going, it was nice meeting you, have a good night.”

You tried to free your hand, but the fan wasn’t letting go. Sunwoo was very much aware and tried to be polite as he pried the others hand off you.

“Good night.”

“Wait, wait, can I at least-”

The fan began to scramble for something in their backpack, but in the process you saw their phone fall from their chest pocket. It landed face up, and you saw that it had been recording this whole time. Sunwoo saw it too, grabbing it despite the fan protesting.

“Give me that!”

Sunwoo deleted the video before tossing the phone back on the ground. He offered a faux smile, once again repeating the fact you had to go.

“We’ll be going now.”

Sunwoo pulled up the hood on your jacket, wrapping an arm around your shoulder to keep your head low, and heading back with you. The fan said something else, but you couldn’t hear anything over the sound of your pounding heart beat. Although it wasn’t going to end that easily. The other caught up to you both, getting in your path.

“The least you can do is let her sign something after touching my property, and don’t manhandle her like that!”

“You aren’t even supposed to be in this building! You’re lucky I don’t call security right now. So get out of our way.”

“I’m not really talking to you.” The fan leaned down to see your face. “Is he hurting you?”

“Don’t talk to her!”

“I… I can sign something… it’s okay, Sunwoo.”

“No, you’re not doing anything like that. We are going home.”

“It’s fine… I…”

“No.”

“You don’t speak for her.”

“Fuck off!”

Sunwoo shoved the other aside, knocking them to the ground, and pulled you along. This time you weren’t followed, but you did stumble a bit on the stairs. Sunwoo kept you from falling, only asking if you were alright, but not really stopping. When you got back to the others you noticed one of the two vans was already gone. Sangyeon was leaning against the open side door, arms crossed. Once he saw you both he opened his mouth, but stopped when he noticed Sunwoo was rushing you, not to mention you were a bit unsteady in your steps.

“What took you so-- what happened?”

Sunwoo shook his head. “Nothing. Let’s just go.”

Sangyeon knew that was a lie, but he didn’t say much else. He glanced back at the building and then got into the van. Sunwoo helped you get in, sending you to the back between Chanhee and Haknyeon, the latter already asleep. Chanhee immediately noticed you were trembling, looking over at Sunwoo for answers, but the boy just shook his head again.

“You must be so tired, baby.” Chanhee pulled you closer to him. “It’s okay, we’re going home now. We’re done for today.”

Of course on the ride back home Sunwoo texted the others about what happened. You just wanted to forget everything and move on, but they wouldn’t let it go so easily. As soon as you got to the dorm you were swarmed with attention from the others who had gotten home before. That’s when the tears started falling and you collapsed to the floor.

“Oh, don’t cry, baby, don’t cry.”

Sangyeon stepped out to make a call and the others brought you over to the couch. They got you out of your jacket, figuring you would want to wear something else. You stayed curled up in a ball, leaning against Hyunjae, trying to calm yourself down.

“It’s okay, you’re okay now.”

Changmin got you some tea to help your nerves, and Eric brought over a blanket for you. By then your tears had settled, and you were just solemn. Sangyeon came over to you after his call, kneeling down and speaking to you softly.

“Hey, you wanna talk about what happened?” You shook your head. “That’s okay. What matters is that you’re alright. Just please don’t be going anywhere by yourself, even if it’s real quick, we’re here for you.”

“I’m sorry… I… I… I just-”

“Sh, you don’t need to explain. You know we just want what’s best for you, always. That’s why you have to listen to us when we tell you not to do things, okay?”

“… okay… I’m sorry…”

“We’ll sleep all together tonight, okay, a big cuddle pile like you love. Would you like that?”

“… yes, please.”

“Okay. We’ll take care of everything, you just stay here.”

“I will.”