#definitely tmi

Listen I don’t know which one of you fuckers thought that this design choice was a good one but whoever it was, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you🖕

Hello fellow gay people (and not gay people)

SOOO what happened to Melchiordommik? Ermmm

I used to take care of my grandmother for around uhh 4 years? Last year she got hospitalized 4 times and the fourth time, she unfortunately didn't make it. This turned my life upside down and I am still recovering from the hole that was left in my life. I then had to get a job ASAP because I basically provide for the house with the help of my aunt (who lives in another neighboring city)

Soooo I don't really have much time to draw because I work, like, I got a real job (ewwww) but it's cool I get paid, I bought a sick ass new PC and I've been having fun with games :)

Yeah that's why I kinda disappeared for.. months.

Too much info but TLDR: I work now so no art <\3

Thanks for the ask! :)

16. How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

Really sleepy.  I slept through my first alarm this morning (which uh. never happens), so I’m just all off-kilter at the moment.

35. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My parents.  My mom’s birthday was just over a week ago, and in the days leading up to it, my dad and I had planned to go shopping on the day before because it was a Saturday and going out during the week would be difficult.  Also, at the time, my brother was still quarantining at our house, so I thought since he couldn’t go out shopping, we could come up with a gift together.

But then on the day before my mom’s birthday, my dad decided to bail and have my mom pick out some really expensive jewelry and told me that since I “wanted independence”, I was on my own.  It literally came out of nowhere too.

I was pissed because we literally had a plan so I told my mom, and she got really upset that I didn’t have a gift at the time (because apparently love isn’t shown by your thoughts and actions, but by material objects), which in turn got me really upset.

I ended up managing to get a gift later on that day and things actually turned out pretty good for my mom’s birthday, but I’m still kinda annoyed, so.  bleh.

62. What makes you happy?

A few things!  Music, writing (when my brain chooses to cooperate with me), baking, spending time with my friends and family, and being able to interact with so many wonderful people here on this hellsite :)

So i have this weird relationship with food where whenever I get anxious or whatever-this-weird-state-I-can't-define-is I think I subconsciously punish myself by not eating until I am like super super hungry. So then I sit for hours in my room and I am hungry and know that I am hungry and yet I refuse to go to the kitchen to eat something until my stomach literally hurts from how hungry I am.

Also like I really hate that even though I am probably overall not doing very good and should probably start seeing my therapist again when my mum asked me today if there's something I wanted to talk about or if there's a problem I, of course, told her that there's no problem and everything is fine. 

And then I think that my problems/symptoms/whatever are not bad and I can handle them and I'm probably making it a bigger deal than it is because I can still like function and I don't need to go see a therapist since I don't have a MI and all my friends have actual real problems while I'm just someone who refuses to grow up and uses all these things as some kind of excuse for myself and if my problems were real enough then my therapist would have diagnosed me with something/would not let me go even though the reason why she let me go was because I was leaving for Utrecht.

So yeah I guess I'm just a little bit fucked up atm.