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I MEANT FOR NOT\*\* DEFENDING sorry!!

I arrived to a new school back in november, it’s an international school with lots of different people, I was very nervous but I quickly befriended some of the 10-15 I shared a language with.

One day, I walked up to them in the cafeteria to join and chat, but when I did one of the guys said “yo \[name\] you know what you look like? you look like a p\*rnstar” and everyone started laughing. i felt embarrassed and scolded him, but everyone thought it was playfulness.

I went to the restroom upset and his best friend approached me, I told her I was so upset over his comment but to my surprised she said “but he’s right— I mean, don’t take it the wrong way you’re just very s\*xy” and it felt like another jab to my gut.

When I headed back to the group, his friend said “bro he was right, you REALLY look like a p\*rnstar” and laughter erupted again. i left.

Afterwards, I was venting about it to one of the guys who was present at that moment, telling him how in disbelief I was. He ended up telling the guy who originally made that comment, and he approached me to apologize and give me a hug after school. I told him “just don’t do that, it’s degrading and humiliating.”

In the same week, I was with a smaller portion of the group and he and his friend approached, everything seemed normal until a short silence, where he said “\[name\] do you think you would s\*ck it good?” This time there weren’t many laughs, no one said anything just a few “bro…” that moment I left as he yelled at me in the background “come on don’t get mad! you gotta answer!”

After this, I’ve gradually stopped talking to everyone, I know they like him more and I was new but i didn’t understand how no one said anything. Now I’m completely alone in school everyday, and I wonder if i’ve been overreacting this whole time or if my decision was worth it

Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (81% confidence)

Top comment: “NOR. It is better to draw the boundaries now and continue to respect yourself. He was being degrading and trying to embarrass and humiliate you. You don't need to put up with that and anyone that excuses that behavior isn't worthy of the title friend.”

Notable comment: “This is sexual harassment in the US. Idk where you are, but you should still report this to a teacher or administrator. These comments are hurtful and inappropriate. Boys who do this need to feel the consequences. They intend to make a girl feel small and embarrassed. It’s a way for boys to put girls down.

NOR. Please report him/anyone who says this crap. When girls stand together against it, this misogyny can be defeated in their environment. Very helpful if other boys ostracize the offender too, and others like him, now and I. The future. Tolerating it with silence is protecting it, and boys need to know that.

If anyone is sick enough to text crap like that, text it to their mom/sisters. Or just tell them if you know them.

It’s not your job, but these are actions you can take if you wish.”

View on Reddit

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