My boyfriend didn’t invite me on trips he planned, am I overreacting?
My boyfriend (24M) and I (24F) have been together for 6 months. A few weeks ago, he told me he was planning a trip with two of his coworkers, who are also his friends. I’ve hung out with them quite a bit, but I never expected to be invited. Then he said, “You can come if you want.” I told him that if it was meant to be a guys’ trip, I’d sit this one out so they could have fun.
That’s when he said he only invited me because he thought I’d feel bad if he didn’t. That really caught me off guard because I’ve never tried to insert myself into his plans or made him feel like he has to invite me everywhere. Hearing that hurt more than not being invited in the first place. I told him it bothered me, and he said he didn’t mean it that way but he never really asked again if I actually wanted to go. I decided to let it go and never brought it up again.
Now he’s planning another road trip at the beginning of August with some friends visiting from France. I assumed it would also be a guys’ trip, but today I found out there’s going to be a woman there too. That part doesn’t bother me at all. What stung was realizing he didn’t even consider inviting me this time.
I’m not upset that he’s spending time with friends, and I don’t expect to be included in every trip. I also don’t feel insecure about another woman being there. I just feel hurt that I don’t seem to be someone he naturally wants to include, especially after what happened the first time.
Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (63% confidence)
Top comment: “NOR. "You can come if you want" is what people say when they want be 'polite' about not wanting to invite someone to something.”
Notable comment: “NOR. I think it’s fine to feel upset or have concerns. I would gently encourage you to have a conversation with your boyfriend that doesn’t project your interpretations into reality.
Relationships require safe communication that comes from a place of curiosity, instead of accusation.
It may not be that he hasn’t considered inviting you, but that he doesn’t feel ready yet. After all, you have only been together for 6 months. But you won’t know unless you have that conversation with him.
Whatever the reason is, you can also make a request so you don’t run into this in the future. Something along the lines of “If you have something you want to do on your own, I respect that. If we can talk about that so I’m not left wondering, that would be great. I don’t need to do everything together, but it helps to be considered even if it’s just a conversation like - I’m not ready to take a trip altogether yet.””
Do you agree with Reddit’s consensus?
Voting ended onJul 30
Originally shared by Dangerous-Ad-644 on r/AmIOverreacting on July 23rd, 2026 at 1:07 AM UTC. Credit to u/sidewalkfairy and u/Kawaiidumpling8 for the quoted comments.