#default mode

suo's moments where he uses what i like to call his default mode AKA when he gives a dull agreeable placid answer - a collection

*is this a real thing or just me noticing it happening more often around suo because he's one of my favorite characters? possibly. so im just having fun!

I grew up reading a ton as a kid. I think part of that was to avoid introspection. Always having a book on my person allowed me to have something replace internal thoughts with external ones. I grew up before cellphones were a mass have. This isn’t to say I didn’t have times where I was alone with my thoughts. I just avoided them whenever possible. Same as today, but I have more opportunities to…

it's the opposite day of a trigger date (exactly 6 months), our brain is just mush trying to remember more and know more so we can just get all this over with. it's so much trying to heal and parts putting things back the way they were because 'if we heal we'll die'. i'm so tired of this but its the only option other than not believing our child parts and we're not gonna do that anymore. so much 'it doesn't make any sense' so much 'it's impossible because no one in our life knows anything about these people or places' so much doubt and denial that we can't do anymore.

dracula recently: (has character who goes to sessions on a regular basis, recounts experiences and at one point makes physical movements associated with the experience before completely losing all memory of what happened and not understanding the significance of what they said) (also that character is one i've grown really attached to)

The first decision in my creative process is deciding on where, which physical location, I'm gonna start my work on a project.

When I make the choice to start anywhere but my workstation, I'm cueing my brain that we're not gonna just dive right in. I'm actively putting that off in order to use different parts of my brain to engage the script. To process. To imagine. To think. To iterate.

Among other things, those activities allow me to consider the meaning, subtext, challenges, and straight up opportunities baked into the written word. All of which informs my eventual process.

You see, while both hemispheres of the human brain can process everything coming in, it's actually networks in the brain that do the heavy lifting.

Which networks?

Well, that depends.

There's a network that kicks in when we indulge memories, when we daydream, when we visualize the future.

There's a network that kicks in when we simply focus our attention.

There's a network that activates for executive function, goal-oriented, cognitively demanding tasks, rule-based problem solving, maintaining and manipulating information in working memory, and making decisions in the context of goal-directed behavior.

And so on.

Here's the thing, though: the networks don't work simultaneously. When one is activated the others are de-activated. 

So the daydreaming network deactivates as soon as we focus our attention, as soon as we start problem solving.

With me so far? 

Our ability for diffuse, non-directed thinking, is turned off as soon as we focus our thinking. And for me... the gold is found where my mind wanders.

Now, the way I know I'm in this mode of thinking is that it's incredibly bouncy and magnetic at the same time. Divergent and convergent. It really does wander. Ideas beget ideas beget further ideas. They branch. They connect. They multiply. 

It's a very open circuit state of mind. And there's no mistaking it. 

On the other hand, when I'm focused or problem solving, it's a contained experience. It's linear. Step by step. Beginning to end.

Logical in the extreme.

So when I say the physical space in which I choose to begin my creative work has a huge influence on my work... but that choice only facilitates, it doesn't guarantee the outcome...

What I mean is that how I choose to engage the script is equally important because it's fully possible for me to engage the script as if I were at my workstation, editing in Premiere. Thinking about what kind of shot would I put here? What kind of music would be most effective there?

I can very much do a paper edit of a show in my head.

And I have.

It's another way to edit among many ways.

But the best way for me is to intellectually and emotionally meet the script on its own terms. To divine meaning. To interpret intention. To perceive all the layers baked into the words, intentionally and unintentionally. To learn where the moments are, the ones I've gotta nail.

To internalize all of that. Because when I do...

Something in my brain starts working on the project.

On.

Its.

Own.

I'll tell you the story of when I first became aware of the black box in my head...