when i ask you how you're doing i always want the long version
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when i ask you how you're doing i always want the long version

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Und dann überkommt es dich wieder plötzlich. Die dunklen Gedanken sind wieder da. Die Kontrolle wird weniger.
I feel sick. Sick of myself, my life and my feelings.
„Kleb endlich ein Pflaster drauf und schau bitte nicht andauernd nach, ob die Wunde darunter geheilt ist, in dem du es immer wieder abziehst.“
🤎🍄🟫🤍🌿🦋🧿
@loki.on.tour_ on Instagram

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Terima kasih.
Kepada semua orang yang pernah hadir dalam kehidupanku, terima kasih banyak ya. Terima kasih karena sudah mau berteman dan berkenalan denganku. Menjadi alasan dari sekian episode hidup yang ku lalui, sampai akhirnya hari ini aku menjadi pribadiku yang sekarang. Terima kasih sudah memberikan kenangan, pelajaran, keceriaan, tawa maupun tangis. Terima kasih banyak sudah mau menemaniku bertumbuh, berproses dengan segala keadaanku, keterbatasanku.
Semoga kalian semua selalu dalam penjagaan Allah, selalu Allah bimbing selalu di jalan Nya.
Dan, Aku memohon maaf kepada semuanya. Apabila selama bertemu kalian semua, banyak perkataan atau tindakanku yang mungkin melukai hati kalian. Semoga tetap ada hal baik yang kalian dapatkan dariku.
Semoga Allah bimbing dan jadikan kita sebagai hamba Nya yang pandai bersyukur pula taat.
Walaupun aku tau, kita semua tau, itu berat. Ketika kita tersadar sudah jauh, ingat Allah akan selalu ada, Allah akan selalu menunggu hamba Nya. Allah mencintai hamba Nya yang pendosa itu untuk kembali, untuk memohon ampunan Nya.
"I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it — to be fed so much love I couldn't take any more. Just once."
- Haruki Murakami
Crosshair and Mayday 🫶🏼 and the black ice vulture from the outpost on Barton IV.
This is my ‚the outpost‘ appreciation, because this episode always got me under my skin.
I get goosebumps, especially when this bird appears. It has a very strong symbolism for Crosshair. Strong, sharp eyes and claws, focussed and alone 🦅
And Mayday is truly Crosshair‘s ‚mayday‘. The last must, that he needs to grow out of his imperial hyperfocus hurt ego and hurt heart trip ✨
War is shit. This episode shows us, that war is dirty and nothing but a wastage of lives, time and ressources and also the inner war of a character who has to get out of his comfort zone he had sunken in almost too deep. We can learn from this heavy example, that it’s never too late to make big decisions and start to grow, even when it hurts to face oneself.
I‘m rambling… ☺️ Maybe because Autumn is coming and I love ‚to fall‘ 🍂 to get myself cosy and seclusive 🫖 to ask myself the big questions and slowly grow into the best version of myself ✨
So what do you think about that? Let me know, I love deep talk 🫶🏼