#deep heart

Sanders Sides: Virgil, Patton, Roman, Thomas, Logan Blurb: When Logan leaves the others in Patton’s room, Virgil takes matters into his own hands and ends up revealing a secret Patton wanted to keep hidden. (takes place at the end of Moving On 1/2) Fic Type: Hurt/Comfort, Drama Inspiration: Inspiration for this story came from This Set of Tumblr posts by @fandomsandanythingelse @sidewritings @darude-sanderstorm Warnings: Panic Attack

“Please.” Patton’s broken voice rang in Virgil’s ears like a gong, reverberating through the entire room. Virgil could barely inhale a quarter breath, his thumbs running along the comforting soft edges of his new jacket. He hadn’t thought coming here would be the best of ideas. At least for him. Patton’s room was too stimulating, to full of things, cringe-worthy memories, sights, sounds, his senses were in overboard. He needed to get out of here. They all needed to get out of here. “FINE.” Logan’s short retort cut through Virgil’s overloaded senses like a hot knife in butter. Logan glared at Patton, at Roman, his edges blurring with a black haze. “If you don’t want to listen to me, this is your issue to resolve.” What?! NO! Logan couldn’t leave him! Logan was the only clear voice of reason in here! Virgil opened his mouth, but no words came out as the dark fuzzing Logical Side vanished. Virgil choked on air, his heart taking off like a hummingbird’s wings. NO. nonononono no NO! Logan couldn’t just...he...he left! Tensing up, his shoulders nearly touching his ears, he turned robotically to glance at the other three. They were going to go after him right? RIGHT? “--of Lost?” Roman asked, his voice garbled to Virgil’s overloaded senses. Lost? Who was lost? Logan? No Logan was gone. No. Roman was holding up a DVD. Virgil squinted, but in the brightness over taking the room, he couldn’t see through the glare coming off the shiny case. Was Roman talking about the show? Why would anyone want to remember that time shifting headache of confus-- He jumped, shying back as Patton and Thomas joined in, all three of their voices shrill and off pitch like a trio of squabbling seagulls as they held out more and more items and made more noises that assaulted Virgil’s overstimulated senses. A soft moan escaped from his lips. This was too much. He swayed as Thomas once again opened the box of Christmas, letting the scent fill the air. Virgil’s stomach heaved and he only managed to swallow back the acid rising in his throat. Too strong, to overpowering, too much Eggnog. He hated the smell of eggnog. It just had Thomas’s 8th grade’s disastrous Christmas party written all over it. The others were completely oblivious to his state, they weren’t going to be of help. He opened his mouth to try again, hoping his voice wouldn’t have the demon echo to it, but only a hoarse rasp came out now. His eyes darted everywhere for an escape. Up the stairs? No, that just led to Patton’s bedroom, that wouldn’t get him out of here. Nor could he sync out like Logan had as he couldn’t concentrate with all the stimuli assaulting him. He rocked on his heels wincing as the light around him grew even brighter, the golden motes like road flares in his vision. He scrunched his eyes, looking to where Logan had been. Why had Logan had to lea--he cut off the thought, looking past Logan’s usual spot to the doorway behind it. He suddenly gasped for air he hadn’t known his lungs weren’t getting. Of course! The front door! The front door. He could get out. He could get out. There. Get out. Get out. GetoutgetoutgetoutgetoutGETOUT! Freedom. Virgil lurched forward, wobbling as his foot stiffly tore away from the landing, landing on the first step, the second foot soon following onto the next step. Getoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetout. He had only eyes for the door. If he stayed longer he’d hurt Thomas with his anxiety, not something Thomas needed. The others could make him happy here, but Virgil...his chest heaved in quick shallow breaths as he broke into a run, darting clumsily to the door. Freedom. Getoutgetoutgetoutgetout. He grabbed onto the handle. “VIRGIL!” Patton’s desperate cry rang out behind him. “DON’T--” Don’t leave? Too late. He was out of here. Virgil yanked the door open only to be met by a blinding flash of white light.

@poisonlyra I would really love to know more about about the Side’s general powers in your universe if you’d like to tell me. I’m just very curious.

Note: These abilities apply mostly to Deep Heart. 

Virgil’s Powers: 

@poisonlyra​: I would really love to know more about the Side’s general powers in your universe if you’d like to tell me. I’m just very curious. 

Note: These abilities apply mostly to Deep Heart

Patton’s Powers: 

Patton’s abilities were also briefly glimpsed in Deep Heart while the others were in his room. One is color. Specifically shown in his room as the colored lights (albeit dingy and influenced by darkness at that point.) It’s a visible reference to Patton being able to manipulate emotions. You may have noticed that specific colors of lights would flash across the characters during scenes of Dark Heart. Those colors would visibly represent different emotions that the characters are feeling. -Granted in Deep Heart, most of the colors mentioned involve Patton directly. But that’s because Patton hasn’t actively used his ability to manipulate emotions outside of his domain, and therefore doesn’t yet know that he could influence what the others are feeling. Patton could use different colors, either shining it directly on the person, or else surrounding the person in that color to make them feel a certain way. -He could shoot beams of different colors from his hands to ‘hit’ the person he’s trying to influence. (yes he can shoot rainbows), he could also use the lights already available in the room and alter them to shine in certain shades, or else change the color of the room entirely. -Hence why there’s a golden/yellow glow in Nostalgia Nirvana. The color of the room was influencing how the others were feeling. -Though as you saw in Virgil’s case, it doesn’t always work as intended. This is because people view colors in different ways. There are different meanings to different colors in different cultures and to different people. While Red could symbolize Anger to one, it could symbolize Love to another, or both to yet another depending on the shade of red presented. And if you have a certain favorite color...that color is more likely to make you happy than feeling another emotion. So Green could make you happy because you like the color, while yellow could make you sad because you don’t like that color. So while Patton could use color to try and influence someone to feel a certain way...if they don’t view the color as relating to that emotion….it won’t work exactly as intended on them. The only way for Patton to make sure people feel the way he wants them to feel, would be through actually touching the person. (aka Hugs) -If Patton has used his ability on the others, it’s been completely accidental, but has, before Deep Heart, always been used to cheer people up. Hence why Patton would give ‘the best hugs.’ Because through his touch he’s sending ‘rays of happiness’ to the person to cheer them up. The Second is Weather. Yes, Patton can control the weather. The Lightning, Wind, Ice, Blizzard, and Sunshine seen in Deep Heart were all caused by him. In his room, the weather can be a physical representation of how Patton is feeling, himself. They show what he’s feeling when Patton can’t express it. And out in the ‘commons’ when there’s ‘weather’ in the mindscape. That is Patton as well, though the others don’t realize it. Patton doesn’t quite realize he influences it out there either. Mostly because in the commons the weather is less about reflecting his feelings (though if Patton is feeling a certain emotion strongly you can bet the weather would reflect that emotion.) It’s more about being something that Patton creates. He doesn’t have to be feeling sad to create a rainstorm. If he wants it to be rainy, it will be rainy. (so one can create a rainbow afterwards.) So the weather also is what Patton wants it to be, or what he thinks one of the others wants it to be. The main thing about his weather abilities is that he hasn’t tapped into it’s full capability yet. The weather is his offensive power. He can use his powers to defend/protect/help the others when they’re in danger, or facing threats. Patton would actually be the most powerful out of everyone (and the others got a glimpse of how powerful he could be in Deep Heart) ...if he was more of the warrior personality. He thinks of himself more as the one who ‘supports’ the others, and so isn’t one to step up when he believes someone else could do a better job. Also it’s important to know that Patton is the one who has explored his abilities the least out of everyone. He’s aware he can manipulate feelings/emotions in his room, aware that the weather can reflect his feelings, but mostly he just thinks of it as a quirk of his room. Something in relation to the memories and such that he keeps there. Most of what he does is instinctual. He doesn’t consciously realize those abilities are unique to him. Lastly, Patton has really strong Empathy. Which is the ability to sense how the others are feeling. He can tell when the others are happy, sad, upset, tired, etc, and will often react accordingly to help them out. Though if a person doesn’t want help in that particular instance, Patton will back off. He’ll usually say something along the lines of “Are you doing okay?” “Anything I can help with?” before attempting anything, and will respect the person’s boundaries if they say they’re fine.(Though Patton can tell they’re lying because the emotions he senses proves otherwise.) However, if Patton’s going through his own emotional turmoil (like in Deep Heart), he finds it more difficult to sense how the others are doing. -As mentioned with Virgil and Logan, Patton too has colored ‘sparks.’ His tend to be rainbow colored, though if he’s strongly feeling a certain emotion more of that color will present in the sparks. They tend to ‘gently fall on others’ like ‘butterfly kisses.’ to help them ‘feel better’ when Patton isn’t nearby.

@poisonlyra​: I would really love to know more about the Side’s general powers in your universe if you’d like to tell me. I’m just very curious. Note: this abilities apply mostly to Deep Heart.  Logan’s Powers:

Logan’s abilities are all about ‘binding.’ He makes connections. Makes things stick. Builds bridges. A simple example of his ability would be back in his living room that was mentioned in Chapter 5. There’s a bunch of papers and ‘string’ attached to the wall. There are two examples of his abilities there. 1. The pictures themselves. They’re not stuck up on the walls with tape or pins or anything. Logan physically made them stick there. (kinda more like the concept of stickers as opposed to glue) Depending on how much he wants the ‘thought/memory/concept’ to stick around depends on how strongly his ‘binding’ abilities are. It kinda follows the concept of Short Term and Long Term Memory. The more focused you are on wanting to remember a thing the longer it sticks in your memory. So some things only stick for a few seconds to minutes, while others can stay stuck for years. Also, Logan does make mistakes on occasion when binding things. So the fact that you can remember lines from your favorite youtube video easily, but can’t remember the answer to a question on a test that you studied for...is partly his fault. It’s not always his fault though. He has his own….antagonists in his domain that he has to deal. Those antagonists are things like: Writer’s Block, Mind Blanks, Migraines….etc. That were brought up as things that Virgil often has to fight/defeat in his domain. -Logan doesn’t always see these ones as they are more ‘shadowed’ so aren’t always visible if you’re not looking for them Specifically in Logan’s domain are: A) Nigglers -those little pesky thoughts that just won’t leave your head. Kinda the concept of “Bookworms” really. There’s two categories of them.          1)Those that make unwanted things stick -like that verse of song that won’t leave your head.          2)And those that make wrong connections. They’re the ones that confuses your ‘facts and opinions’ and can mess with your memory. Like what time you’re supposed to meet up with someone or when the last time you ate was. B) Mimics -a cross between a woodpecker/parrot that likes to mimic phrases and words. (often negative ones) They can make themselves sound like people you know (aka the other Sides) and will lead you in wrong directions if you choose to follow the voice, figuratively or literally.

C) Holes. -These things can be the size of a cigarette burn or become as large as a car. They form where there are...well holes in logic really. A flaw to the plan. Logan often deals with them when he’s planning things. They tend to form where the problem is. (often he deals with them on his papers, but they can be found elsewhere in his domain. -Faulty Memory and all that.) Logan isn’t limited to just sticking concepts/thoughts/memories to things though. He could do it physically as well. Make the chair stick to the floor, stick two of the sides together (joined at the hip concept), he could, if he wanted, climb the walls like Spiderman lol. (And as Logan relaxes around the others he may just do that. ) Logan isn’t quite aware of this ability yet. He knows he can make things in his domain stick together, but hasn’t tested it elsewhere. He’s rather cautious in using his abilities outside of ‘work’ because well...he knows how difficult it can be to undo/forget/change thoughts. He struggles with it enough in his domain...he doesn’t know how it will work outside of his domain and is hesitant to try it out. Logan’s ability to stick things does go on the fritz when he’s suffering under a major headache or migraine. He can’t always control the power then, which is why the brain suddenly focuses on little details, ends up looping thoughts endlessly etc. 2.) The strings. Like Virgil’s Purple sparks, Logan too has a ‘spark/lightning’ thing as well. It’s usually Red in color and often forms lines. ‘Connections.’ Logan uses this ability to help make an idea stronger. Build it up. A concept with a firm foundation (a lot of connections) is likely to hold together, be put to use, and not fall apart. Once Logan makes a connection between two things, it can be rather difficult to unsee that connection. (Like seeing the arrow in the FedEx logo, once seen you can’t unsee it.) Honestly I drew the idea from the Japanese idea of the “Red String of Fate” where there’s a belief there’s a red string connecting you to your true love. And once that connection is forged, it can be stretched, bent, twisted, but can’t break. In Logan’s case, you could potentially break some of those connections, but it’s...really really difficult. The mind so easily makes connections that breaking one...so it can’t reconnect? Nearly impossible. Not improbable. But difficult.

Often it’s just a matter of letting that red line fade away into nothing. -Which is usually done by focusing on other things, distracting yourself with other connections and concepts. However...the Connections can easily be brought back to their former sheen….usually when you remember something random that you’d ‘half forgotten.’ Those instances...no matter how faded the connection or how long it’s been since you last thought of it...once it’s brought up to the forefront of your mind again...it becomes basically as strong again as when the connection was first made, if not stronger if there’s an effort made to not forget it again. Intuition. It’s not something seen in Logan’s room. But Logan does have the ability to ‘foretell/see the future’ in a way. Usually it’s that feeling of “Deja Vu” that people experience. Because Logan’s always making connections between things, he can, in a way, ‘predict’ how things will go. Whether it’s knowing that the cup is going to fall off the counter, seeing that a person just wants you for your answers in school, or knowing that it’s going to rain today….is a lot of his doing. It doesn’t always have a basis in visual cues though. Like thinking of a song before it plays on the radio would be his doing. Feeling like you’ve been to a place before that you’ve never been to before...also his doing. He’s not always accurate, but he does tend to be right more often than he is wrong. He would probably also be able to predict more how the other sides are going to react to things the more they hang out together and work together. To the point where the others probably wonder if Logan is reading their minds. He’s not. He’s just observing and making connections. Drawbacks to his abilities is that it’s really difficult to remove something if it’s been stuck on the walls for a while. Logan himself is struggling with the relationship in Deep Heart because he’s put a lot of effort into creating connections and making things stick….and now has to find a way to loosen those binds holding the connections to the relationship so prominently in Thomas’s mind. It can be done, but often there are still marks left over after those binds are loosened. Weaknesses. Beyond the Migraines/Headaches already mentioned above, Logan is also susceptible to extreme temperature changes. Too hot or too cold his powers don’t work. Cold Weather: -Sticky things don’t stick well in cold weather. Connections/ideas etc are more likely to be lost/jumbled and can’t always be recovered. Hot Weather: -Heat too can cause issues. Where Logan will think he’s made connections when he hasn’t, or see things that aren’t actually there. It’s similar to seeing mirages in the middle of a desert.

Awww! ^^;; I’m glad you love it so! :D <3Deep Heart was published while I was vacationing down near Arches National Park. :D I had the goal to get the entire story posted before Moving On Part 2 came out because I feared no one would want to read it if the story came out after that. ^^; I was so proud that I managed to do so! I believe part 2 posted like…two days after I finished Deep Heart. ^^;; lol. In any case. While Deep Heart had been considered finished by me when I started posting chapters, the positive response I received had me worrying that how it ended wouldn’t be ‘good enough’ for the hype. So I actually rewrote like the last three chapters right before posting them, (expanding them out so they were longer and giving more details, etc) staying up until like 2 or 3 am in the morning to do so and then would spend the day after each chapter posted hiking about in the redrocks. My family thought I was crazy. ^^;; But ah. It was worth it! 

As for a more story related fun fact. In Chapter 4 the light blazing into the room doesn’t melt the Ice incasing Logan because Patton’s still struggling to not hold ‘hard feelings’ against Logan and his ‘logic.’ There’s much that the two probably need to talk out to get on the same page again. 

Thanks for the ask! <3