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moon into scorpio
this is not a time to be afraid of your emotions or to avoid them if they are inconvenient. they are an integral part of your human experience. spend a little time with them today. more time is better, whatever you can afford, and more than you think you can tolerate.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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En fin, que mi carácter oculte lo débil que es mi corazón.
BambinaMoon
What makes disability a problematic concept for Jasbir Puar is not only its relation with capitalism but with nations’ attempts to distinguish themselves from others and valorize their past. Which impairments are deemed worthy of entitlements depends on the state’s pursuit of political legitimacy. To determine who is recognized as disabled is to ask who is entitled to resources. As such, disabled bodies can be capitalized because disability entitlement guarantees economic and social inclusion. In other words, disability determination demonstrates both how a state simultaneously legitimizes some bodies and delegitimizes others, and what the consequence is of making such a distinction. Throughout the twentieth century, the distinction between the deserving and undeserving guided U.S. disability policy. The government did not cover those in need, but those who “deserved,” mainly maimed veterans and maimed workers (Scotch 2001; Adams, Reiss and Berlin, 2016). Other people with disabilities fell into the category of the undeserving, who were thought to incur impairments through self-destructive habits such as alcoholism.
— the concept of debility written by chiayulien
(I think the author should also consider that even people who are universally recognized as disabled are often neglected access to resources according to different circumstances. There's no actual guarantee of economic and social inclusion most of the time, it's usually is only present in the politician's discourse but not in material reality.)
Llorar no indica que usted es débil. Desde su nacimiento llorar siempre ha sido una señal de que está vivo.
— Charlotte Brontë.
己が衰弱や欠陥、不適応への執着が過ぎれば、それは停滞への意志となる。
If one's obsession with debility, defects, and maladjustment goes too far, it becomes a will to stagnation.
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Okay so a bit of an update on things, a bit of me calling out a couple asshole anons.
1. The Anons. I have recieved quite a few messages that I never feel deserve the recognition of posting essentially accusing me of making things up for attention, so included in this post is a screenshot of the notes from my most recent doctors visit, specifically the part of the note where the "active problem list" is. This is the list of all of my current diagnosis that we are working on treating, managing or learning to live with. I do not feel I should have even needed to provide this but here it is. If anyome had any questions on that feel free to ask but please don't be an ass, my life is hard enough as is.
Next is Updates,
Uhmm so I have a few things to touch on here.
1. After much discussion with my doctors, my specialists etc. My fears have been confirmed, due to the medical problems I have on top of the cognitive defecits plus the neuropathy eventually, we don't know when, there is no specific time frame, eventually I will go downhill and not come out of it. Pretty much right now I have good days and bad days about half and half but the bad days will start to be more frequent and more severe and then the good days just wont happen anymore.
2.We also talked at length about the bladder issues, I am self cathing multiple times a day still having incontinence, still bedwetting and still with no sensory awareness (This means I cant tell when I have gone) we talked about options and he said we arent there yet but a suprapubic catheter is inevitable and I will be needing one placed down the line. This is a catheter that will be placed in my bladder through my belly opposed to my urethra, meaning I can still be sexually active, Id be at a lower risk for infection, it is a more comfortable option and would mean that I would no lo get be dependent on briefs or dependent on an aid changing my briefs on my bad days. Insurance wants to give pelvic floor therapy a go one more time before they approve the procedure amd my doctor has informed me that once its in goong back to "normal urination" will not be a feesible option meaning once its places it will be permanent and I will be peeing through the tube for the rest of my life.
3. In Occupational therapy last week I was tested for primitive reflexes, primitive reflexes are a reflex developped ineutero that should go away or "integrate" at various stages in the first few years of life. These reflexes should be present in infants but NOT in "neurologically intact adults" 4 of 9 of these reflexes are still present for me, which means that that part of my brain did not develop adequately but this part of the brain is a foundation so when that didnt develop appropriately nothing else did either. Now they could integrate these reflexes which is the goal which will help reduce the physical reflexive response to stimuli BUT the under development to the rest of the brain already happened and can not be corrected. Included is a chart about the reflexes and the signs and consequences that happen in the event that the reflex was retained and not integrated. My Primitive reflexes still present are the Tonic Labrynthe, Moro, Spinal Galant and Palmar Grasp. Apparently retaining these reflexes is not abnormal in people with Autism.
All of this said, I have alot going on, I have a lot of things I am trying to figure out and trying to work on and fix and tons of appointments and follow ups and procedures and I could use some help, I really could. I have a amazon wishlist that essentially consists of cloth and disposable briefs primarily, uhmm we are grying to switch me over to cloth briefs as they are easier on the skin and will be more cost effective in the long term they also feel more natural I feel like but also disposable ones are on the list as they will be necessary to help hold us over till we can get more cloth briefs. Also on the list is some workout clothes items as my doctor and I are trying to increase my daily activity, I have been walking and am getting a YMCA membershio from my insurance next month and I dont have anything to work out in so any help would be great. Thanks in advance.
You can find my wishlist here (:
Samera Esmeir, writing of Israel's "experimental wars" in Gaza, claims that "Gaza has become the literal testing ground for Israel's various experiments. . . . as an occupying power, Israel transformed Gaza into such a laboratory by imposing on it different forms of confinements culminating in the siege imposed and maintained since 2006." Military technologies are tested in "real-life situations, on the ground," and marketed as such. In the quest for complete air, space, and ground control, a thoroughly saturated economy of spatial and temporal control, what are the terms of Gaza-as-laboratory? Is Gaza an experimental lab for the production, maintenance, and profitability of biopolitical debilitation? Is Gaza an experiment in mining the infinite potentialities of the schisms between death and debility — not a death camp but a debilitation camp — and the potentiating of nonhuman time? And yet, labs and even many jails have better living conditions than those to which Palestinians in the Gaza Strip are subjected. Gaza emblematizes the profitability of a speculative rehabilitative economy where debilitated bodies are more valuable than dead ones because it keeps bodies in capital circulation, not as weakened, docile laborers, but as parts that are modulated with forms of life and their variegated temporalities. Maiming is a requirement for this economy, whereby settler colonialism is naturalized through a focus on the status and regulation of occupation.
Jasbir Puar, The Right to Maim
From Essential Dignities by J. Lee Lehman
