#deadfrequency

hello people of the tumblr i present little gourd boy

i love him he is my son. qwel give my boy some closure or i will find you

anyways, i haven't animated in months and i was stuck with using my mouse (i don't mind illustrating that way but animation is a whole other breed) and i made it on. roblox. so i had a variety of limitations eeegh

anyways, i'm here to share a small victory that i never thought i'd have to consider as something actually rather impressive for me.

yeah. it's just a drawing. but to put things into perspective, the last time i& drew a self portrait was all the way back in june-july of 2025. why hadn't i drawn any portraits since?

simple answer. i couldn't. i'd try and i'd get tired as hell. in the literal sense, i mean. which also drove me away from drawing in general. so these two drawings, despite being so simple in concept, are a genuine improvement for me in terms of how my life in general is going i suppose.

i never thought i'd struggle so much just to draw myself. it's not a difficulty i've seen other people that we know face. because it should be simple, look in a mirror and just draw what you see. it's one of those things that you don't even really think about until you experience it. nor is it one that i can find myself being able to explain properly.

anyways, is this really what i look like? i don't know lol. it's not like i can see what i look like internally i don't think, if i even have an internal appearance at all. i don't even know if we've got a headspace or not lmfao. i'm just stuck fronting and have been for a while so i get to go off of vibes alone i guess.

please free me from my shackles as i hope i don't look at this like a week later and wonder what i was even going on about again.

no flag , feel free to make one tho ! :-]

a term that best describes a headmate who is deeply connected to a fictional source and, more importantly, an individual from said source , but is conceptually their own individual being and (typically) wants to be treated as such. they might also consider their counterpart (best term i could think of for it) to be a source in of themselves depending on how they view their selfhood. they might also have a term they might have used in-source to reference/put a name to the nature of their existence.

this is not the same as identifying as post-fictive, as a fictjacent headmate doesn't really consider themselves to be a fictive at all, be it past or present. of course there's exceptions to every "rule" - this isn't even really a rule ! - however the entire point of this term from MY perspective and experience is to describe a disconnection from being a fictive yet still being connected to a source in a way that is /adjacent/ to the way a fictive who isn't separate from their source might be connected to their source. /(can we get a counter on how many times i've said so far source guys? sorry i'm being so repetitive today)/

this term was made in mind for those who might share notable interests , preferences , a visual resemblance, + other traits with their "adjacent counterpart" . however it can also serve a broader purpose if you decide it works for you . comfort over strict definitions always and forever .

fictive adjacent headmates might also have an origin potentially tied to past kinsonas, OCs, versions of characters in AUs, kintypes, hearttypes, etc. but might not consider other terms related to these ideas (i.e. altive/AUtive, OCtive, kintive, etc.) appropriate/accurate for themselves. (i'm also aware of the existence of mostives , however it did not work out for me -📻.)

henceforth a fictjacent headmate can also potentially fall under the thoughtform umbrella, /probably/ leaning unintentional.

pretty sure other systems & collectives use this term already but i just. i NEED. this definition. like. written down. in words!!! i need my experience articulated!!! please!!! i simply want to have a term out there that fits me best. and since i couldn't really find one , and i found wording that felt correct , i decided i should share. - 📻

can't wait to block more bots after this one

anyways simple doodle in ms paint i did last night. ms paint + mouse combo my goat thisis how we did digital art for years and i will never abandon it fully

not an oc or an au or anything this is just me kinda, hi chat !!

HELLO

some blender shenanigans... following a tutorial by eve sculpts over on youtube [here's the link] .

below was me playing around with some ico spheres when i first found a video surrounding making vrc avatars - as i'm wanting to learn 3d modeling in part for that purpose

however i quickly realized that i needed to learn more about how to manage the geometry side of things (vertices, edges, etc.) both for performance reasons & for animation purposes. so then i remembered the existence of the previously mentioned tutorial, and was like "hey. i'm actually motivated to learn blender this time around. maybe i can find that video again"

lo and behold, i totally did. so now i've been focusing on learning the basics & also finally figuring out how to extrude things.

perhaps i am committing a slight cardinal sin [/j] by not learning how to make a donut first. trust me, i tried that once so it's not like i didn't attempt it first. however practically speaking, i'm learning a lot here so it's fine lol. and i get to make a cute little guy in the process ! speaking of which, the reference image is NOT made by me. it's also by eve sculpts :-]

i need to go back and adjust the ears a bit before i work on the arms, but i'd say for a first genuine attempt at making a character model of sorts, this is going well so far.

gift for an offsite mutual (here's faer strawpage). i don't get motivated to draw very often anymore (or, rather, to finish drawings), so i'm happy with how this one came out.

also i haven't drawn ruffles in a really long time. had to relearn how to do that. that was fun i think.

i wish i could've done more but my ipad is 7 years old now and hates me so i kind of had to rush at the very end so i could get the drawing done before my ipad died. it was at 3% when i finally exported it

anyways, obviously the character isn't mine. it's a sona of one of my mutals. oc is elizabeth and moot is using fae/faer exclusively at the time i'm posting this.

also if you want to see more frequent posts + plurality related art you can follow my main blog @theanthiii, which is the shared blog for me and my collective.

time elapsed: 3 hours & 27 minutes

"can't wait for the bot comments because i wanna tag my art as art!! my commissions are closed because i doon't have a fucking bank accouuunt"

+ immediately after i post