#dcau

Damian had faced down hitmen, alien warlords, and Gotham’s worst rogues without flinching. But standing in the hallway outside your room, dressed in black sweatpants and an Arkham Academy T-shirt (ironically), holding a single, dog-eared romance novel like it was a live grenade?

That was another thing entirely. He knocked once. Twice. Then opened the door without waiting. “Beloved.”

You were curled up on your bed, hoodie sleeves covering your hands, reading something with earbuds in. You looked up with a warm smile.

“Hey, Dami.”

He closed the door behind him and stood perfectly still for a moment. Calculating. Weighing angles. This wasn’t just about sex. This was about trust, consent, timing.

“I wish to engage in coitus.”

You blinked.

“In what now?”

“Sex,” he clarified, clearing his throat and gripping the book tighter. “With you. Soon. Possibly now.”

There was a pause. You tilted your head, unsure if you heard him right or if he was reading off a Batcomputer prompt.

“Did you Google that?”

“I cross-referenced approximately seventeen sources,” he said seriously. “Some of them were fanfiction. It was distressing.”

You snorted. “Distressing how?”

“Apparently I am frequently paired with Jonathan Kent. And Nightwing.”

You tried not to laugh, failing miserably.

He stepped closer, his face somehow both deeply serious and red at the tips of his ears. “I am not trying to pressure you. I simply believe our bond has deepened significantly and, statistically, most couples—”

You cut him off by gently setting the book down and sitting up. “Damian.”

He looked at you, sharp jaw tense.

“I want to,” you said quietly. “You don’t need a PowerPoint or Google Docs presentation. Just… be honest. With me.”

He swallowed, tension melting just slightly.

“Then honestly…” he murmured, stepping in front of you, reaching down to brush a hand along your jaw, “I have thought about it. A lot. And if you’re willing, I would like to touch you. Love you.”

You reached up and tugged him down by the hoodie string. “Then stop talking and kiss me.”

His lips curled into a grin.

“Tactically speaking, I think that can be arranged.”

Dick: “He asked?! That’s adorable. I just tripped into it by accident in college.”

Tim: spits coffee “Damian’s having sex?!”

Jason: “He did it before me? Are you kidding?”

Wanted to draw a silly lil comic of Robin and Batman going to watch the movie about Pulitzer winner Lois Lane's husband

Clark slinging Bruce over his shoulder or grabbing Bruce’s belt so he doesn’t run away or just locking Bruce in place with an arm around him because what’s Bruce going to do? Pull him off??

Truly top tier content.

The fact Bruce even lets Clark touch him at all speaks volumes about their relationship as well. If Batman truly hated being held like a plushie, as his squirming and kicking and protesting would seem to indicate, Superman would probably have Kryptonite in his molars by now. But he doesn’t.

It’s something about Batman ‘I am vengeance, I am justice’ being physically held back by the most powerful man on earth that tickles me. To others who don’t know Supes and Bats’ dynamic, Superman forcefully picking Batman up away from the situation only serves to strike more fear into people’s hearts. How bad is Batman if SUPERMAN is needed to physically remove him??

Bruce and Hal like each other, okay? They're each funny! And okay, Bruce is handsome, smells nice, a gentleman... so maybe Hal is freakishly in love.

One thing Bruce consistently talks about is his babies. That man loves his babies so much. Hal respects that Bruce can never show him pictures, but his descriptions of the kids paint a really sweet image of Bruce's "civilian" family

"My eldest, Dick! Oh yes, he just mastered a new technique with his gymnastics class! He's very proud of it! And my daughter, Cass, is cast for a solo in her next ballet, I'm so excited to see it. Tim loves the new videogame you suggested for his console, he just can't leave it! Damian thinks the shirt you gave me was nice. Oh, and I cannot forget mentioning my Jason! Yes! My little boy was so clingy today. He won't let me leave to go on this date! He's sick as of last night. Oh, my poor baby..."

Hal is so sick with cuteness aggression, so when things get serious between Bruce and him, he insists that he MUST meet his kids.

Well...

He did not expect Nightwing to drop hell on him, like full on knee-drop from the stratosphere. His name is Dick Grayson, and he is part of a gymnastics class!!!...... as the teacher.

And Cass is, in fact, a ballet student.... THE SENIORS DANCE COMPANY..... she is also batgirl and she's the few creatures to remind Hal of what fear is.

Tim is Red Robin, and yes he thanked Hal personally for the videogame suggestion, before promptly threatening to castrate Hal if he ever breaks his dad's heart.

Damian was ALMOST forgivable. He's very much baby-sized. But he's also Robin and an Al-Ghul and Bruce get your child away from me he's threatening to duel me for your hand- STOP LAUGHING.

Jason? Jason is the worst. Bruce made him out to be this clingy, soppy wet cat of a child that cries when left alone too long and whose biggest problems is crusts on the sides of his plate. Turns out he's the Red Hood and also 6"5 and built like a barn. He also has dry humor. And guns. Lots of it.

.

.

.

Hal: You said you had 5 babies???

Bruce: Yes, 5 babies 😊

Hal: [staring at the 5 miscellaneous death threat notes he got from the trained operatives that are his boyfriend's attack dogs]

Bruce: Aww, they made you love cards! 🥹

Hal: One of this is from Dick. He says to remember to lock my door, just in case....

Bruce: He's feeling protective! 🥰