#dc hellblazer

A father

John Constantine x gn!Reader

warning: fluff, panicking John

A/N: AHHHHH I absolutely love this idea!!! This was a lot of fun to write, I hope you enjoy reading!

John has faced demons, ghosts, and things with far too many teeth to count, yet somehow the sentence “Oh, by the way! I have kids!!” manages to terrify him more than any of them. You say it so casually over coffee that he almost thinks he imagined it, but when he looks at you, you’re simply stirring your drink with the same smile you always wear.

His cigarette hangs forgotten between his fingers as his mind completely erupts into chaos. Kids? Like… actual children? How has this never come up before? Every conversation the two of you have ever had suddenly replays in his head, and somehow he can’t remember a single clue that should have prepared him for this.

He wants to ask questions, but something stops him. If you have children, then they’re the most important people in your life, and the last thing he wants is to sound like that’s a problem. Because it’s not. He just wishes he had known before.

John prepares himself to meet them. He even finds himself standing in the children’s section of a shop, looking out of place while buying a soft teddy bear, a coloring book, and a bag of sweets. He grumbles under his breath the entire time about how ridiculous this is, but he still pays for everything because, despite all his complaints, he wants your children to like him.

Because if they don’t like him, you will reject him maybe. Or never want to talk to him ever again. Block him, or do whatever.

By the time he arrives at your apartment with the gift bag in one hand, he’s rehearsed at least three different introductions and discarded every single one.

Fuck, this is harder than he imagined.

The moment you open the door, you pull him inside with a grin, giving his cheek a soft kiss.

“Hey!! Come say hello to John!” John’s heart pounds as he waits for little footsteps, only to blink in complete confusion when three cats come racing around the corner instead. An orange cat practically launches into your arms, a black cat winds around your legs, and a fluffy gray cat flops dramatically onto the floor, demanding attention.

You crouch immediately, kissing each tiny forehead with so much affection. “There’s my handsome boy! Look, this is my boyfriend John. Say hello!” You coo, scratching the orange cat beneath his chin.

“And my pretty girl. Ohh, you’re a pretty lady, aren’t you?”

John stares, trying to understand what’s going on. “Cats?”

“Well, yeah.” You look up as though he’s the strange one. You smile brightly before proudly gesturing toward each of them. “These are my children.”

He blinks. “Your… children?”

“My children.”

“They’re cats.”

“They’re my babies.”

Silence stretches between you before John’s eyes slowly drift toward the gift bag still hanging from his hand. Without saying a single word, he walks to the nearest open window, opens it a little wider, and promptly throws the entire bag outside.

You gasp. “John! Why did you do that?”

“I’ve spent four bloody days thinking I was about to meet human children!” he exclaims, laughing so hard he has to lean against the wall. “Do you know how terrifying that is? I bought dinosaur coloring books! I didn’t even know their gender.”

You burst into laughter so hard. You’re holding Mister, apparently that’s the orange cat’s name as she purrs happily in your arms.

“Mocha would’ve liked dinosaurs, probably.” You say with a completely straight face, nodding toward the gray cat. “He’d appreciate the effort.”

John lets out the most exhausted sigh you’ve ever heard before walking back over to you.

“You owe me a thousand kisses. I’m absolutely knackered.” He says, though the smile tugging at his lips gives him away completely. He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close, and scratches the fluffy cat behind the ears.

“Next time,” He says, pressing a kiss against your forehead. “Just tell me you’ve got cats.”

“But they’re my children.”

“They’ve got tails.”

“Your point being?”

“They lick themselves.”

“They’re independent, need no other help. Well, occasionally.”

John groans while you laugh, leaning up to steal a quick kiss. The cats immediately gather around the two of you, purring loudly, and he can’t help smiling into the kiss despite himself.

“I was genuinely panicking.” He admits quietly once you pull away.

“Then remind me to never clarify,” You tease with a grin. “Watching you realize my children have whiskers was absolutely hilarious. I would do it again.”

“Oh, shut up.” John says before kissing you again, this time longer.

“You’re a father now.” You say as you break free from the kiss.

“Alright.” John chuckles before pulling you in for another kiss. Again.

Initially, I thought that the reader was lust drunk and passed out but since you said relaxed I took a different approach. Sorry if I misinterpreted what you meant;;

I was also considering adding Question (Vic Sage), Hal Jordan and Kyle Rayner (Green Lantern) but decided against it.

With basis of them just getting into it after some or a little foreplay:

A drawing I made for myself in a month or so between commissions, and never got to actually post. I wanted to try out a square sketchbook I got and got very carried away askfg Inspired by this.

some of my favorite hellblazer panels so far as i’ve been chipping away at it

(if you can’t tell i’m currently at the family man arc im a baby fan 😭)

here’s some of my thoughts but Heads up for hellblazer spoilers

The story is so fucking good delanos done an excellent job with worldbuilding and taking the story in directions i didnt expect. Yeah sure it involves magic and the occult, but it feels very grounded in realism and maturity and it makes everything very believable and captivating. And genuinely i love john so much.

A lot of mischaracterizations regarding him would be solved so damn quick if people just, read hellblazer.He’s a humanitarian through and through and a complex character. he cares about kids, minorities, and cares for and is a part of queer people. he’s not even a violent guy he hates firearms and can’t even fight or hold a knife to save his life. (he hates bread crumbs all over his flat…)

the family man arc is defo my favorite one so far but the original sins is also a close second. I think it’s the fact that we get more of a glimpse into john’s personal life and family (thomas constantine when i catch you thomas constantine i am your biggest opp) and we get to see john have very raw emotions that are usually deflected via humor and sarcasm.

i also….love that suit. blue suit i miss you blue suit. maybe ill draw blue suit john 👀