#dadstories

There’s no denying that the last three months have been a roller coaster unlike any other. Having a daughter has completely changed my life in ways that I wouldn’t have even imagined. It’s hard to pick out my favourite moments, but here are a select few that I will remember forever. 

Putting Marla in her sheep onesie. 

Years ago, long before Connie and I were even thinking of having a baby, we were gift shopping for one of my nieces. We happened to stumble upon a fluffy sheep onesie and immediately fell in love with it. Despite having no intention to have a baby for several years, we bought it - knowing that it would no longer be in the shops when we were finally ready. Putting Marla in that sheep outfit for the first time was like years of waiting coming to a beautiful end, and the fact that she wore it to come home from hospital made it all the more special. 

Introducing her to the family

Again, only a small memory - but sometimes those are the most precious - introducing Marla to her grandparents was a moment like no other. Seeing family from Connie’s side and mine as they instantly fell in love with their new granddaughter / great granddaughter / niece gave such a magical feeling. Hearing about Connie’s sister trying to change a nappy for the first time was also quite amusing. 

Seeing Marla smile for the first time

A moment like none-other. She would grin when she needed to burp as you would expect but seeing Marla fully light up in response to something you do is without a doubt one of the best parts of being a parent. I can instantly forget even the worst day at work just by seeing that beautiful smile when I get home. 

Marla’s first Christmas

Being only one month old at the time, of course Marla had no idea that it was Christmas, but that didn’t matter - obviously she had WAY more presents than any other person. Connie and I had my parents over to stay which made it feel incredibly intimate too. Sharing Christmas dinner around a table for the first time with our new baby in our new house made me see the true meaning of family. 

My least favourite part?

You might think it’d be the sleepless nights, or maybe even the poop explosions that occur almost daily. You might expect it to be those moments when Marla decides to be sick all over herself seconds after you’ve finished getting her dressed. You’d be wrong. 

I never intended to write a part two to my previous post, but following certain events at the weekend, it seems quite necessary. 

Never have I wanted to punch a complete stranger square in the throat as much as I wanted to on Saturday night. 

Connie’s parents visited us for the weekend, which was fantastic. We hadn’t seen them since the weekend before Christmas, so it was lovely to catch up and even lovelier for them to spend some time with their granddaughter. 

We grabbed a spot of lunch at a little pub called The Telegraph - it seems we only really go there when they come to visit. That’s not on purpose, it just works out for us with the location of the hotel they usually stay at. It’s become a bit of an unintentional tradition. 

Of course, Marla was with us. We had a healthy supply of milk and nappies too - isn’t it crazy that we parents can bring that stuff out with us!? 

At around 4:30pm we headed to a Wetherspoons. There are two in Derby - one which plays music and is quite lively, and another which plays no music and is mostly frequented by people - like us - who just wanted a quiet drink and a catch up with friends / relatives. 

We had a great evening. Marla slept through the whole thing. Were it not for the pram, you wouldn’t have even known she was even there. That was until we stood up to leave. 

It was around 6:45pm and some absolute cow (there’s another C word that I would prefer to use for the woman) decided to loudly pass comment about “bringing a baby here” at such a time. 

Excuse me???

It wasn’t even 7pm. It was only just starting to get dark outside. 

Marla wasn’t bothering anybody, she was asleep. 

Now we’re parents, are we not to leave the house? 

What fucking business is it of hers anyway? 

Even the woman’s partner / owner looked embarrassed. Much like a dog owner who’s mutt had just needlessly snapped at somebody’s ankles. He was mortified. He’ll tell himself that it’s unlike her, but he knows in his heart that she’s done it before, and she’ll do it again. 

It’s probably for the best that she be put down. 

👨‍👧‍👦 “The Original Cover – Dad” Before we ever built industrial-grade protection, we learned from the best — our fathers.

Is there a better ‘story teller’ than Dad?

I’ve been the strongest man on earth in my tribe’s eyes on more than one occasion. Telling the story of my ‘amazing strength’ was always better than the moment it actually happened- nothing wrong with revisionist’s history favoring me…

Dads are revered for whom they once were and for who they are now, things are funny that way.

This story begins with 14 y/o Tommy deciding he wants to wrestle rather than play soccer his sophomore year.

I take the moment to hype him up and tell him how much fun Wrestling is and then chop him down a little immediately after.

“You’re a year behind though now. Gotta build up some strength leading up to next year. Start knocking out some push-ups every night.”

Naturally, it’s well known by this point in Tommy’s life that Dad used to have the strength of 10 men and the body of a God- so dad must know what he’s talking about..!

Between rounds of the Lomachenko fight, Tommy crushes 25 push-ups each time till he can’t take it anymore. Finishes with 145 total reps!!

Right on queue I pipe in, “I remember when I used to knock out sets of 60 diamond push-ups..”

The trick is to deliver this line like it’s no big deal today. Tommy’s head whipped around looking at me in disbelief!! LOL!!

The next night I remind Tommy to get his push-ups in. Noodle armed, his attempts to start end in a face plant into the carpet on his first rep.

Savannah (4 y/o) can’t let the moment pass without getting to shine a little and decides to get on Tommy’s back for a push up!

Now, the Dad moment happens…. “I used to do push-ups with your mom on my back!”

“THEN LETS SEE YOU DO IT NOW!” says the know it all laying on his face..

All in good fun, I try backing out of it. At this point the whole family is against me and they’ve whittled me down to “just try with Savannah on your back.”

Now the Dad Legend grows. .

Laying in the hallway with a 4y/o little girl LAUGHING like a lunatic straddling my back, the whole family looking. My Pride at stake and even more, the lasting implications of if I can’t get these push-ups done were all weighing even heavier than the ‘extra baggage’ that was trying to tickle my armpits…

BOOM! Knock out 2 push-ups! The crowd goes ever so silent and I’m feeling good.

“Bring Miles over here..” at this point we’re all thinking it, Savannah is just a lil girl- no big deal.

Miles (6 y/o) stumbles over, ready for his turn on the carnival ride. Lays on my back and uses my head as a pillow. I can feel the extra weight he brings compared to Vannah and before doubt sets in…

BOOM! 2 more push-ups!!!!

Now the Dad Legend isn’t a bluff!

“Get over here Tommy!”

On my back he goes and real doubt sets in.. I look up and saw the hope in My Wife’s eyes and I could see the amusement in both the little ones…

My first rep starts and I hear the amazement in my mini-me's voice on the upswing of the first push up. I only have a solid 2 push-ups in me but I gotta deliver them like I could’ve done more!

My small show of strength done and I’d accomplished all that I wanted and more..

I gave my stories credibility! lol!