#cursed!reader

The pair were old friends of a sort. Y/n had met him by chance within their first few days in Hell when he'd pulled them out of a tight spot. They didn't spend time together ever or really see one another at all but, Y/n had a vague sort of trust for the man, a strong sense of a debt needing to be repaid. Y/n didn't like owing people things, not even back when they were alive. They didn't like depending on people in that way. When he asked them if they could keep an eye on his daughter, they couldn't refuse.

Charlie was a lot. At twelve years old, she was bright and over the top and constantly bursting out into song. At first, Y/n had been rather uncertain about the whole arrangement, even when she'd gone through her emo phase at fifteen.

Y/n tried to steer clear of them for the most part. Picking her up from school, dropping her off. Babysitting when her parents needed a night to themselves, the normal stuff. When the issues started between Lilith and Lucifer, Charlie was suddenly thrust into Y/n's life a lot more. She had no idea the real reason, both her parents wanting to keep the trouble from her due to their own care and protective natures, and Y/n tried their best to keep it that way. It didn't help that by sixteen, Charlie had practically moved in with the demon but they managed.

Charlie had always pushed for a connection, something more than Y/n making her dinner and getting her where she needed to go. Y/n resisted at all costs. They'd been hurt before by trust, by care. The idea of going through it all again was terrifying. That all changed the day Charlie found out about the curse.

Y/n hadn't meant for her to find out. One of their situation's many many downsides was that while the curse ate away at their magic, it also ate away at their physical form. If they weren't careful, if they didn't temper their emotions and make sure they were eating enough raw meat, the beast would take over.

The beast was a horrific thing in their eyes, blood hungry and devastating. It was sub-human, sub-demon even, writhing and scornful. A mass of twisting shells of prey, a mass of claws and sharp teeth.

Of course, Y/n couldn't keep it from Charlie forever and on one fateful evening, Y/n had transformed. They'd been overworked, stressed about the fact that the Vees were gaining more territory and power, that soon they would be practically untouchable. They had forgotten to take care of themselves in the rush of it all, prioritizing Charlie and their plans.

When they had come back to their senses, come back to themself, it had been to the sight of Charlie. With a damp rag held to their forehead by the demoness and a whole lot of bones from victims of their situation on the floor around them, they had opened their eyes. Y/n had expected Charlie to flinch, to run in fear, to tell Lucifer who knew nothing about the curse. Instead, she had smiled brightly and told Y/n she was glad they were okay. From that day forward, they were absolutely inseparable, completely attached at the hip.

With Charlie's help and cheerful influence, Y/n was beginning to learn how to exist. They loved the girl like she was their own and Charlie knew if she ever had an issue of any sort, she could go to Y/n about it. Even when Y/n had relayed the story of how they'd been cursed and why, there had been no issues, no qualms, nothing. Charlie promised her watcher that she would help them break the curse, no matter what it took.

It was watching Charlie come into herself as a young adult, watching her meet and fall in love with Vaggie that made the real difference. The princess of Hell was unapologetically herself and Vaggie took everything she had to offer with open arms. Slowly but surely, the search for a cure took a back seat as did Y/n's goal of taking down the overlords of Hell. Their life was different, but they were happy. They found themself wishing for the past, the one they had shared with Alastor, less and less, channeling their energy into the world around them. They didn't even notice when the reports started to come in that the Radio Demon of the overlords had seemingly vanished.

Things hadn't been without their challenges. Charlie's relationship with her dad was strained to say the least and when her mom had disappeared? She'd been absolutely inconsolable but with one another's help, they figured things out, made it through.

When Charlie pitched the idea of the Happy Hotel, Y/n had been doubtful. They knew a lot about Hell, the way it functioned, the way the demons within were. It came from decades running around back streets and surviving in the underworld of the underworld. It was Charlie's hope that did it, her earnest gaze. Y/n had caved and after months of hard work, the Hotel had finally opened.

Things were going well, too well even. Then there had been the interview with Katie Killjoy, the other shoe dropping. Y/n had watched it from the sidelines with Vaggie. As soon as Charlie had come down off the set, they had enveloped her in their arms and held them close. With Vaggie's help, they managed to get Charlie back to the hotel.

Once she had calmed down a little bit, Charlie stood from where she had been seated in the sitting room beside Y/n, Vaggie, and the hotel's one resident: Angel Dust. She mentioned something about calling her mom before disappearing into the lobby.

Y/n and Vaggie exchanged a look. They both knew the situation Charlie was in with regards to her mother and how she tended to get after one of her failed attempts to contact the woman. Neither thought this was the time or the place to step in however, and remained seated, chatting idly with Angel as they waited for Charlie's return.

When she finally did, it was with a nervous attitude and a strained expression.

"Hey Vaggie?"

"What?" Vaggie asked as she and Y/n twisted to look at Charlie who stood in the door way behind the couch.

"Can you come help me please?"

Vaggie got to her feet and exited the sitting room with her girlfriend. Y/n turned to Angel to continue their conversation but had barley gotten a word to the spider demon out when Vaggie stepped back in the room.

"Y/n?"

"Yeah?" Y/n replied calmly.

"Charlie actually needs our help with this one, I think."

"Alright then." Y/n got to their feet, shooting a glance back at Angel, "A true hotelier's work is never done." they lightly joked and Angel rolled his eyes.

"What's this about?" Y/n asked Vaggie as they followed her down the hall towards the hotel's main entrance.

"Just..." Vaggie sighed, "you'll see."

Noting the girl's odd behavior and stressed demeanor, Y/n steeled themselves. Not much put Vaggie on edge. She was strong, toughened, as far as Y/n knew, by a brutal upbringing in the streets of Hell. While each use of their powers made the curse grow stronger, they would not hesitate to protect Charlie or her dreams should the need arise. Besides, they'd become quite good at other means of self preservation over the years.

As they rounded the corner into the lobby space, Y/n was greeted by a flash of red as someone pushed past Charlie into the space from the street and a familiar voice.

"Excuse my sudden visit, but I saw your fiasco on the picture show and I just couldn't resist. What a performance! Why I haven't been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929. So many orphans."

Y/n let out a low growl, summoning their lute into their hands and Vaggie pointed her spear at the Radio Demon. It was pure instinct. If they knew anyone, they knew Alastor and redemption was not the Radio Demon's cup of tea. As Charlie shut the door, he turned to face them. Y/n walked a few steps forward, planting their feet a little ways away from Alastor and poising their fingers to play.

"Get out of here." They said through gritted teeth.

Alastor's eyes widened with recognition for the smallest moment. As quick as he had lost it, he regained his composure.

"My what a protective force this Hazbin Hotel has." Alastor mused.

"It's called the Happy Hotel actually?" Charlie hesitantly corrected and he laughed.

"Not anymore its not. I did you the favor of fixing your sign."

A little threat couldn't hurt, a little reminder of who he was dealing with. Alastor had no idea Y/n was any less capable than when he'd first met them. One little note couldn't hurt, wouldn't show any of the damage done. Y/n plucked a single string on their instrument and the room around them began to glow. Everyone's hair lifted around their faces, the loose edges of their clothes beginning to flutter.

"Get out of here now. I wont ask you again."

"Now, is that anyway to treat an old friend?" Alastor replied, smirking.

Everything suddenly clicked into place. There was something different about him. Y/n couldn't put their finger on exactly what it was, but they could tell he hadn't been lying. He'd been at the Hotel for at least five minutes by now, maybe more with all Charlie and Vaggie's running back and forth since his arrival. If he had had any truly negative intentions, they would have revealed themselves, especially to Y/n. Alastor was a good liar, but no one was that good, good enough to trick someone who had watched them become the person they are.

"Old friend?" Vaggie repeated, turning to Y/n in confusion.

Their grimace faltered, before falling completely. They released their instrument, letting it hang loosely in their hand by their side.

"Alastor! You're embarrassing me in front of my kid."

"Your kid?" Alastor asked after a moment.

This time the shocked expression that crept its way onto his face stayed there.

"You know him?" Charlie asked at the same moment as Alastor spoke.

Y/n let their instrument dissolve into the air and gestured to Charlie.

"My kid. And yes, Charlie. I know Alastor."

Alastor turned, looking Charlie up and down.

"You got with Lucifer?" Alastor asked in confusion as he looked back at Y/n.

They laughed lightly at the notion, unable to stop themselves. They shook their head.

"No. Oh my gosh, I would never. Seriously just... great guy and all but no thank you. I just take care of his kid for him. Well, used to. We sorta got attached."

Charlie walked up to Y/n as they spoke, pulling them into a side hug.

"Y/n practically raised me. They were kinda the only one who was always there for me."

Y/n looked down at Charlie with a fond smile. They ruffled her hair and Charlie quickly batted their hand away.

It was clear to Alastor that Y/n had changed. They were no longer the trouble making demon he had known, that he had loved. Still, there was that same spark in their eyes, that fervent desire, that want. From just the small interaction playing out before him, he could tell that Y/n had learned how to trust and protect rather than just fight. They had learned to live hand in hand with that creeping need woven so tightly around their bones, rather than despite it.

It made him happy to see, it made him happy for her. At the same time, it caused his heart to ache terribly. They had finally been able to let someone in, and it hadn't been him.

In the years since their separation, Alastor had never stopped thinking about Y/n. Their memory was tender to the touch, shot sparks of joy or anguish down him depending on the day. It was like an old wound that had never quite healed right. Seeing them now was unexpected. The wound reopened. He sheltered himself.

Y/n saw the way Vaggie still had her spear pointed at Alastor, aimed straight at his neck. Gently, they placed a hand on it, pushing it down. Vaggie looked at them, her eyebrows raised.

"If he wanted to hurt anyone here, he would have done so already."

Vaggie stared at Y/n for a moment. Seeing how serious the demon that had become a mentor to her was in this moment, she lowered her blade. Y/n's hand fell back to their side.

"Now," Y/n turned to look at Alastor once again, "why are you here?"

----

It was late. Vaggie had told Y/n that Charlie wanted to speak to them about something in their office and so, Y/n found themselves outside the familiar door. They knocked once on the dark red wood.

"Yeah?"

They opened the door and Charlie smiled.

"What'd you wanna talk to me about, Sunshine?" Y/n asked as they entered the room, taking a seat in the chair across the desk from their young charge.

"Just about Alastor."

They should have known. Not only was the hotel at a potential risk thanks to the decision to allow him to work with them but Charlie had always had a sharp sense of curiosity. Y/n sighed.

"Fire away, kiddo."

"Well, how do you two know one another? Can we trust him? Do you think he means what he says he does? I thought you hated overlords? I.. I..."

Y/n smiled softly, the change in their face easing Charlie's nervous temper.

"We will handle these one at a time, no prying. Deal?"

"Y/n, you realize how suspicious that makes you sound, right?"

"Fine. A little prying. Deal?"

"Deal."

Y/n leaned back in their chair, letting out a sigh of nostalgia. Their hands rested on their stomach as they kicked their feet up onto Charlie's desk.

"I... I met Alastor practically right after he arrived. We both thought the overlord system was dumb and so, we decided to team up."

There was a moment of silence, broken by Charlie. The young demoness had always loved Y/n's stories, begged to hear them. They had never once heard this one before.

"Is that all?"

Y/n shook their head.

"We dated."

"You dated!" Charlie exclaimed in shock, nearly jumping out of her seat, "You dated the Radio Demon. Were you in love?"

Of course she'd go on and ask that next. Not 'how'd that happen?' not 'when was this?' No, Charlie had to go for the hardest question first, like she always did.

"Yes." Y/n hesitantly replied, "I did."

"I... oh my god. This is actually crazy. You dated? You actually dated. Like for real, in love, dated."

"Alright." Y/n clapped their hands, taking their feet off the desk and righting themselves in their chair, "Next question."

"Bu-"

"I said some prying."

"Fine." Charlie sighed, crossing her arms, "But I am gonna get that story out of you eventually."

"I'm sure you will, sunshine." Y/n chuckled lightly, "Now. Can we trust him? I... I'm not sure."

All the excitement vanished from Charlie as she looked seriously over at Y/n.

"Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"Because, he's up to something but not with us. Or, if it is with us, it's not to hurt us. I... something happened to him, something is different. I am not sure what I just... he's not here to hurt us... I think..."

"You think?" Charlie repeated indignantly, "Can you be a little more sure of that maybe? Why only think?"

"It's been a long time since I've seen him, Charls. Maybe being an overlord is what changed him. I have no way of knowing but my gut tells me he's okay, at least for now."

"You knew him before he became an overlord?"

"You really think I would team up with one of those bitches? Come on. You know I hate them."

"I-"

"Next question." Y/n quickly interrupted, not wanting to think on the past anymore than was necessary, "I think he does mean what he says, as was implied in whether or not I trusted him but the same caveats that applied there apply here too. And I do hate overlords, I just..."

"You just love him." Charlie teased.

Y/n's cheeks grew hot. They looked away.

"I do not. I loved him. There is a difference."

"Uh-huh. Sure. Why did you guys break up?"

Y/n turned back to Charlie. They couldn't say no to those eyes.

"Well, he became an overlord. Also I maybe... never told him. About the curse. He could tell something was up and..." Y/n took a breath, "couldn't take it after a while I guess."

"So you guys still loved each other when you broke up."

"What are you scheming over there."

"Nothing! Nothing!" Charlie quickly replied as she not so discreetly scribbled something on a piece of paper, "How long were you together?"

Y/n placed their hands on the arms of the chair, pulling themselves to their feet.

"Alright, trouble maker, I think thats enough lore outta me tonight."

"But Y/n!"

"I'm gonna go to bed. Vaggie already headed upstairs for the night I think. Sweet dreams, princess."

"Good night Y/n." Charlie dejectedly replied as she realized she really wasn't going to be getting anything else out of her mentor that night.

"Good night."

Y/n was about half way through the Hotel back to their room when they felt a hand on their shoulder. Reacting purely out of instinct, they ducked out from under the person's grip, spinning around with their fists raised. Alastor smiled down at Y/n and they sighed.

"What is it?" they asked, straightening up.

He had expected Y/n to be angry, to have that familiar sharp edge behind their voice. Instead, they looked up at him. As if everything was normal, as if it hadn't been thirty years since they'd last seen one another, as if they had just been together yesterday, their eyes met his.

"I... it's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too." they replied after a moment's thought, "What are you doing up this late?"

"You know me, sleep is not my preferred way to pass time."

"I meant what are you doing in the hall, but sure. Yeah, I know you."

"That darling Charlie asked to see me."

Y/n scoffed, shaking their head with a tired smile.

"Of course she'd... yeah."

They stood in the hall facing one another. Just a few feet apart. The silence was thick.

"You seem happy."

"I am." Y/n nodded, "Charlie is a great kid. I was pissed when Lucifer first asked me to look after her, I'll admit it but, she has grown on me."

"I didn't know you were acquainted with the big man. I thought you despised all authority figures."

Y/n looked critically at Alastor, over his whole being. He felt they were looking into his very soul, the heart of all his intentions and desires. He felt absolutely naked in the worst way under their gaze.

"No, just overlords. Especially ones who make deals for the souls of others. It's a stupid and outdated system. Even the best of them like Rosie abuse their power to get what they want."

It was a well sharpened arrow, the remark. Perfectly aimed. Alastor had, after all, introduced the small group inhabiting the hotel to Husk and Nifty just that afternoon. Y/n turned their back to Alastor.

"She has big dreams and the passion to see them through. I believe in her. Don't... don't fuck this up for her, Alastor."

----

Next Part -> Rapture

I woke up on the ground, with a pounding headache and no idea where I was. Groaning, I sat up, spooking a rabbit that seemed to like me, and shoved my hands in my pockets, looking for my phone. When I found it, the screen was smashed, forcing another groan from my mouth.

“Shit.” I stood, brushing the dirt off my jeans. Alright, where the hell am I?

I looked around, seeing bobbing heads a little ways from where I was. Joggers? Am I in a park? I walked towards the moving people.

“Excuse me, could I make a call on your phone?” I asked the first person I saw, a woman pushing a stroller. She looked at me with a surprised expression, shoving a couple bucks in my hands. “Just don’t buy a drink with it, okay?”

Bitch, I thought, though I kept the money, shoving it in my pocket before approaching the next person, a guy running with his dog. “‘Scuse me, can I borrow your phone? Just have to make a call.” I shook my busted one, hoping he’d understand. He nodded, unplugging his ear buds and handing it to me.

“Thanks.” I started typing Dean’s number, but I must have been more hungover than I thought. Is it 674 or 647…shit, I think it’s 647…

I gave it a try, sighing in relief when I heard Dean’s voice on the other end. He sounded tired, his voice rough. “Yeah?”

“Dean, it’s…” He cut me off before I could even finish my sentence.

“Jesus, Y/N, where the hell have you been? One minute you were going to the bathroom, and then you’re gone? I’ve been looking for you all night!”

Ah, that’s why he sounds tired, I thought guiltily. “I’m sorry babe, but I have no idea what happened. I woke up in a park about two minutes ago.”

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” I could hear the worry in his voice, and him moving around, probably grabbing his things so he could come get me. Once I figured out exactly where I was.

“No, I think I’m fine. Little foggy, headache, probably hungover, but nothing weird. Except, you know, I’m in a park. That’s kind of weird.” I turned, seeing the tall sign for waffles. “Oh, come get me at Waldo’s Waffles, I’m starving.”

He sighed heavily, “I’ll be right there. Be careful, please.”

“I will, love you, bye.” I handed the guy his phone back, thanked him once more, and headed in the direction of sweet, delicious waffles, stomach rumbling in agreement.

The waitress set my plate down in front of me, refilled my coffee, and I dug into the pile of fruity, syrupy waffles, hungrier than I thought was possible. I was almost halfway done with my plate when Dean sat on the chair next to me. I had a mouthful when I turned to look at him, but he grabbed my face anyway, beautiful green eyes searching mine, worry all over his face.

“You’re alright? You’re sure?” His gaze moved down, looking for any injuries. I managed to nod, trying to chew at the same time. He looked me over one more time, planting a kiss to my forehead before releasing his hold on my face. “Dammit, Y/N, I’ve been losing my mind all night.” He rubbed his eyes, finally starting to relax a little.

My chest tightened at the tone in his voice, so I chewed quicker so I could answer. “I’m really sorry Dean, I don’t know what happened.” I pushed the plate of waffles in his direction so he could have some, my peace offering.

“How do you not know? We didn’t drink that much last night…what do you remember?” He took the fork out of my hand, and I frowned.

“Uh, well, we’re here, looking for a…something?” I shrugged.

He stopped eating to stare at me. “That’s the last thing you remember?” I nodded, shrugging again. “That was yesterday morning.”

“I guess I drank more than you thought? I don’t know Dean, that’s all I got. Did you bring…?” I pointed to my head, hoping he brought the aspirin.

He handed me the bottle, and I took two out, downing them with my coffee.

“I guess, I really didn’t think so. But that still doesn’t explain why you just took off.”

“I really am sorry, I just don’t know.” I looked at him sadly, confused about what happened. He sighed, running his hand through my hair, thumb stroking my cheek.

“We’ll figure it out Y/N/N, we always do.” He pulled my lips to his, and I could feel his relief in the kiss. “At least you’re okay.”

I smiled at him. He’s the best. And so pretty…my mind started to drift off to dirtier places, so I tried to focus again. “Where’s, uh…?” That’s weird, what the hell is his name?

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “You mean Sam?”

Sammy, that’s it! I snapped my fingers, and Dean just kept staring at me. “You’re sure you’re alright? Did you hit your head or something?” He ran his fingers on the back of my head, looking for signs of a bump. Based on his expression, he didn’t find anything.

“I don’t think so. So where’s Sam?”

“I dropped him off to check out the body so I could come get you. We’ll get him on the way back to the motel. Finish your waffles,” Dean ordered, pulling his wallet out from his pocket so he could leave some money on the counter. I stabbed the last few bites and shoved the forkful in my mouth, standing. Dean reached his hand out, and I laced my fingers with his, following his lead out to the car.

“Well, it’s definitely a witch,” Sam said, getting in the back seat. “Hex bag was in the body, looks like it was shoved down his throat.”

Dean reached his arm across the front seat, stretching to face Sam. “Wonderful.”

“I see you found Y/N. What happened to you?” Y/N? That sounds familiar…The man in the back seat tapped my shoulder. “Uh, Y/N? You still drunk or something?”

I could hear the men talking, but it was hard to focus all of a sudden, things around me going blurry. I placed my face in my hands to steady myself, and felt someone start rubbing my back. “Y/N, sweetheart? Look at me.”

I looked at the man next to me. “Who’s Y/N?”

The two guys looked at each other with weird looks on their faces before looking back at me. Dean spoke slowly at me. “That would be you.” I heard the guy in the back ask, “What’s wrong with her?”

“There’s nothing wrong with me,” I muttered, raising my head now that things were clear again. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Then what’s your name?” Dean asked.

I scoffed, “I know my name! It’s, uh…Y/N!” I smiled triumphantly. I did not receive any smiles back, which I thought was rude.

“Dean, what happened to her?”

Dean started the car, backing out of the spot. “I have no idea, Sammy.”

We got back to the motel, Dean’s hand on my back on the entire walk from the car to the room. Sam opened the door, gesturing us inside.

“I promise guys, I’m fine!”

“You forgot your own name!” Dean practically yelled. Sam just looked at me.

“For a second, okay, yeah, that was weird,” I admitted, throwing my jacket on the table and sitting on the bed, trying to think.

Sam chimed in. “We’re hunting a witch, right? Maybe she got hexed?” Dean rubbed his face with his hand. “I guess. But if the witch found her, how is she still here? And why is she freakin’ Dory?”

“Dory?”

“Not going to apologize for loving that fish. Not to you, not to anyone.” I rolled my eyes at Dean, but I couldn’t help but smile at his comment. Damn, did I love that man…wait, he’s talking about me! “I’m not Dory! I’m FINE.”

Dean turned to me. “Fine, then name the main characters in Harry Potter,” he asked, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Well, there’s Harry Potter.” I gave him the middle finger to start my count, “And then…uh, Randy, I think…” Dean shook his head, and I threw my hands up in the air. “Whatever, this is stupid! I’m fine.” I stood up, walking back to the table. “This is a table! This is a coat! This is…a, uh…light stick!”

Both men looked at me like I was crazy, before Sam asked, “A ‘light stick?’”

I pointed at it again, nodding. Like they didn’t know what a light stick was. Idiots.

“Alright, we’re gonna need some help,” Dean said, rubbing his jaw again. “Cas?”

“No, not Cas, I’m fine!” I yelled again, though no one seemed to be listening.

“Rowena? If it’s a witch, she might be the best bet,” Sam said, crossing the room and starting to write something down on a yellow square. I threw my hands up, trying to get their attention. “But in the meantime…” Sam moved back to the stick of light, pressing his thumb against the yellow square at the top. It said ‘lamp.’

I snapped my fingers, “LAMP. Damn, so close.”

Dean swore, loudly, and was tapping wildly against his phone before putting it to his ear. “Yeah, well, we need your help, Rowena.”

“Rowena? Really…” I moaned, going to the fridge. “Oh! Tiny vodkas! Score!” Dean and Sam just rolled their eyes again. It was getting really annoying.

“This is serious, I think Y/N has been hexed. She’s been…forgetting things.” Dean said, looking at me as I started to make a drink. Clearly, they were occupied.

“She’s not drunk.”

Nope, but I’m trying. I picked up the ice holder, pointing. “We need ice.” Neither one was paying attention to the important stuff. Like ice for my tiny vodka.

“What? I don’t know, I haven’t checked!”

Ugh, neither one of these dummies is going to get me ice. They’re too wrapped up talking to…someone. What was her name? Ramona? Whatever, doesn’t matter. I’m getting ice. I left the room to get some, leaving them to their talking. I walked up the stairs to the ice thing, filling it before returning to the room. But the damn key wasn’t working…

“Y/N!” I turned to Dean, shrugging. “The key isn’t working.”

“That’s cause that’s not our room,” he said, looking mad. I shook my head before answering, “All these dumps look the same.” I stalked past him, but he grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop.

“We think you’ve been hexed. You’re losing your memory.” My mouth dropped open. “What, like Memento?” Dean just smirked, then nodded. “That you remember. Yeah, like that. To fix it, we have to kill the witch that did it.”

“Great, let’s do that!”

He sighed loudly. “We have to find ‘em first. What’s the last thing you remember?”

I paused, holding the ice holder out to him. “I got ice.” He threw his hands up, walking toward the open door to his right. This must be our room, looks the same to me, I thought, but I followed anyway.

They made me get all suited up so they could take me back to the vic’s office. As they rummaged through things, I opened a box of cigars, pocketing one to surprise Dean later. Sam rolled his eyes at me.

“You did that yesterday too.” I looked at Dean, and he just nodded, but I caught the smile. “Any of these look familiar?” Sam waved his hand at some pictures on the wall. I walked over, glancing at all the faces. None of them looked like anyone I knew though, so I shook my head. “Okay, let’s think, what happened next?”

Dean’s eyes darted back and forth, thinking. “You went to check out the lore, Y/N and I went to get dinner at that burger place. Should we head there?” Sam moved his head up and down, and I grabbed Dean’s hand as we left the office. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but I knew he would take care of me, so I should follow him.

We walked into this Western bar, which was busy and noisy. I didn’t like all the loud noises, but Dean and Sam were in charge, so I followed.

Both turned to me as we moved toward the bar. “Anything look familiar?”

I looked around, but it looked like any other bar we’d been to over the last few months, nothing at all stuck out. “It looks like all the others, I don’t know!”

A pretty lady bartender walked in front of us, looking right at me as she went to the register. Dean nudged me, whispering “That was our server, you remember?”

I frowned, but headed towards her anyway. “Hi!”

She looked at me funny, then at Dean. “Hello…you back to pay your tab?”

I frowned again, looking at Dean. “I think that’s his job.” I jabbed my thumb into his shoulder. He hung his head, his hand reaching into his back pocket.

“I’m sorry I ran out last night, she up and vanished, so I got worried. I think she might have been drugged.” Dean pulled a couple bills from his wallet, handing them to the pretty woman.

“Drugged!?” Both of them looked at me, shaking their heads quickly. I think they are telling me to be quiet.

Dean continued, “Can you tell us what you remember? We’re just trying to figure this out.” She looked at all of us, but her face softened when she got to me.

“Sure. You and her ordered burgers to go, but it was going to be a minute. You guys downed, what, four tequila shots, put some ‘sick jams’ on the juke, and then the little lady here hopped on Larry.”

Sam interrupted, “Larry?”

“Oh yeah,” she responded, looking right at me. “She had the hots for Larry as soon as she walked in.” Dean looked away, and his cheeks got a little pink.

I piped in, “Was I good?”

It was Dean who answered, never looking up from the ground. “Oh, you were…amazing.” I smiled brightly, proud even though I couldn’t remember.

“Anyway, then you two,” she pointed at Dean and me, and I swear Dean blushed even harder, “disappeared for about 10 minutes, and when I saw you again,” she pointed at me, “you were running like a bat out of hell towards the alley.”

I looked at Dean, who was avoiding the look Sam was giving him. The lady suddenly pushed Dean’s shoulder, “You better not have…”

Dean’s hand cut through the air. “NO. No. She’s my girlfriend, nothing like that.” I looked at him and Sam, confused. “Do you have security cameras here?”

She looked at me for some sort of answer, so I went with the flow and waved it off. “He’s right, he’s my, uh, boyfriend. All good.”

She nodded to me. “Good. And yeah, we do.” She walked us to the back of the bar.

“Really Dean?” Sam muttered, shaking his head. “Bar bathroom?”

Dean stopped him, counting on his fingers as he spoke. “One, you were at the motel and we only had one room, so I think you mean thank you. Two, it was her idea, point your disappointment that way.” He tilted his head to me. I shrugged, and Sam made a face, walking around us to follow the lady.

I whispered to Dean, trying to catch up, “what did we do?”

Dean sighed, leaning down to whisper back in my ear. “Remember I said you were amazing on the bull? Understatement compared to that, sweetheart.” He pecked me on the cheek before following Sam. I grinned, skipping to follow him.

Sam pulled his laptop out, popping the little silver stick into it, and a movie came on. I tried to look over their shoulders, but these boys were tall. “Let me see,” I whined, and Dean moved enough over to let me look.

I watched, and then pointed excitedly. “That’s me!”

“Yes it is,” Dean said, grabbing my hand to pull it away, but he didn’t let go. I felt his fingers brushing against my knuckles gently as we kept watching. He leaned in, looking at the picture.

Sam asked, “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to read her lips. Now salsa you mittens.” I may be hexed, but that is just nonsense.

“You can’t read lips.”

“I can’t read lips,” Dean admitted, pulling away from the screen. We watched as my body flew backwards, and Dean’s grip on my hand tightened. “You don’t remember any of this?” He turned to me, hoping I would have a better answer than I did.

I just shrugged, “I got nothing.” They kept watching, making the little people go backwards and forwards.

“You recognize that jacket?”

Dean responded before I could, “Yeah, from the vic’s office. Maybe Y/N saw him last night, and chased after him.” The little movie-me pulled something out of my pocket.

“I took a shot! I know how to shoot a gun?” I whispered at Dean, squeezing his hand. He just dropped his head into his free hand.

They pulled me out of the bar into the alley, waving their baby light sticks around, and talking to each other. I couldn’t make out what they were saying though…everything was starting to get fuzzy again.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait. There are witches?” I asked, my hand grabbing Dean’s forearm. He’s strong, I thought, before I saw the way he was looking back at me. Focus, uh, me. Y/N. Right.

“Yeah, Y/N, there are witches. And we kill them.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “That’s awesome!” They didn’t look as happy as I felt though.

“C’mon Y/N/N,” Dean said, pulling me away from the garbage and into the woods.

“How much further?” I questioned, my legs getting tired after a bit. Dean squeezed my hand tighter, leading me along.

“Depends. You remember anything?”

“Nope. So, genies are real? But they don’t grant wishes.” I added grumpily, thinking about the blue Genie from the movie.

“Jesus,” Dean said quietly, but I still heard him. “Yeah, that’s right. C’mon now,” he said, pulling me along. We walked up to this tree with red paint on it. “That’s probably relevant.”

“Maybe Rowena knows what they mean.” Sam leaned down to take a picture.

“Rowena? That’s a funny name.” I giggled, but no one else did. Dean let go of my hand, moving forward. “Hey!”

He put his palm up when I tried to follow. I think that means stop, so I stopped moving. “Sam!” The bigger guy walked over to Dean. “I think that’s our witch.”

Curious, I walked up next to Dean, ignoring his hand. “Is that a dead guy?” Dean just looked at me. “Cool,” I whispered, pulling on his sleeve.

“No, not cool. If killing the witch was supposed to remove the spell, you should be fine, sweetheart.” Dean looked mad.

“Oh. Not cool?” I guessed, and both men just looked at me.

“Let’s get out of here,” Sam said, and Dean put his hand on my shoulder, guiding me back to where we started.

We got back to the motel room, and the boys were looking at the computer, talking to each other when I heard a noise at the door. I got up to open it.

“Y/N, wait!” I heard Dean say, but I still knew that sound meant someone needed to come in, so I opened the door anyway. A very pretty lady with long, red hair and nicely done eyeshadow walked into the room. “Who are you?” I asked, trying to flirt a little. She was very pretty, but Dean coughed, and shook his head at me. Right, I’m with him. Oops.

“Spell’s progressed I see,” she looked at Dean and then Sam. She talked funny, but it sounded nice. She kept walking inside, so I closed the door. If they really didn’t like her, I was sure Dean would protect me.

“We asked for intel, Rowena, not a house call.”

“Well, I have a feeling you’ll come to thank me.” She turned towards me, and I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out to touch her hair.

“Your hair…it’s so bouncy!” I exclaimed, running my fingers through it. It’s so soft, I want my hair to be like that.

“Why thank you!” She said, a big smile on her face. She looked at Dean and Sam. “Do we have to fix her?”

Both sighed, and said at the same time, “Rowena.”

“Boys.” She smiled at me. They said a bunch of words back and forth, but it was hard to focus again, because things got a little fuzzy and Rowena was petting my hand. It felt nice, like when Dean did it, but she was softer.

“Come here.” Dean pulled me away from the nice lady, and sat me on the bed. “Y/N, you remember HBO?” I shrugged. He clicked the button on the rectangle, and the movie came on.

“Oh! Scooby!” I shouted, watching the dog on the screen for a while, drowning out the three of them. Scooby was more interesting anyway. Eventually, I laid down on the bed, watching the dog being chased by the ghost. Someone laid down behind me, pulling me into his chest. “You know who I am?” he asked softly, giving me a kiss on my neck.

“Of course! You’re…D-Dan?” I asked, turning to face him, snuggling closer. He tried to smile. “Close, Dean.” I smiled brightly at him; that felt right. “You’re my Dean.”

“That’s right, sweetheart. I’m yours.” He buried his hand in my hair, little tears in his eyes. He started to tell, no remind, me what was happening. As he kept talking, I felt myself getting sadder, and tears started to fill my eyes too.

“I can feel it,” I said finally, looking right at him, trying to memorize his face, the way I felt laying here with him. God, it felt good. It felt…right, and this was what I was going to lose? “I can feel it slipping out of my head.”

One of his big hands continued stroking my hair, his thumb brushing against my scalp. The other cupped my cheek. “I’m not going to let that happen, Y/N/N.” His bright green eyes looked back at me, and I could tell he was asking me to trust him.

It was that moment that I broke. “I don’t remember everything, Dean,” I emphasized, because I wanted him to know that I knew who he was, “but I know I don’t wanna forget you. I’m scared…” I choked on a sob, and he pulled me tight into his arms, holding me close. “I’m scared I’m going to forget everything.” The tears started to fall from my eyes, and I buried myself further into him.

“I will fix this, Y/N, I promise,” he said again, and I felt his lips on the top of my head.

“Okay,” I offered, hoping that he was right. It was slipping away, but I knew him at that moment - he was my Dean, and he would take care of me. I knew that was true.

Dean pulled back, lifting my chin with his finger. He kissed my lips, then my forehead, lingering there. Then he got up, going back to the other guy. SAM, I thought, tried to commit it to memory. Sam. Sam and Dean, I kept repeating, making my mouth form the words, hoping that would help.

I continued to lay there, trying to remember the details. My name is Y/N. Dean is my…well, mine. Sam is my best friend. R…Ramona is a friend. My name is…what is my name? I couldn’t bear to turn over to ask. I may not remember his name, but I knew the people on the other side of me were important, and I didn’t want to make them sad.

Sometime later, I was alone with the pretty lady. The men left to do things, they told me what, but I couldn’t remember, and I was supposed to be here. With the lady. She was putting stuff on the table, so I tried to help.

“Stop touching everything!” She scolded, swatting my hand away.

“Sorry.” She gave me a little doll, and started to tell me a story. I tried to listen, playing with the sharp pointy things and the dolly.

“What have I done?” I turned to her, when she talked about a gift.

“You’re a killer, Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Wait…I kill people?” No, I don’t kill people, that’s not right…

“Scores. You may be a stubborn pain in the arse, but everything you’ve done, you’ve done for…ugh, the greater good.”

I looked at her incredulously, “Oh, and that’s supposed to make it okay?”

She walked around me, answering, “Oh, I wouldn’t know. You help those other than yourself. Me, I’ve done horrible things, and I told myself it was fine…”

The pretty lady kept talking, and I tried to follow what she was saying. It made sense, but I couldn’t put it into context. She touched my nose, and I giggled. That’s when the rectangle next to her lit up and rang. I heard a familiar voice on it, but I couldn’t place where I knew it, or who it was. Some other voices were in the background, and I could tell something was wrong. Then the familiar one started to yell before it all went black.

I woke up in a car, seeing a note that told me what to do. Your boys have been kidnapped by a witch. Found the stupid car and left you here.You turned to the door, and found another card: Stay. Uh, no thank you. It’s boring in here. I shrugged, getting out of the car and walking to the back out of habit. I went to the trunk, where I found another little paper: Open me.

WOW, look at all this…witch killing bullets, the paper says “this one,” so I should pick this one! I picked up the gun like the note told me to, and my hands seemed to know what to do better than I did, popping the bullets in the gun.

I walked into the house, finding a blonde lady throwing things at the pretty red-haired lady. I pulled the little lever on the gun, and it made a clicking noise that made the blonde lady stop.

“A gun? You really think that’s gonna work on a…” I raised my hand with the paper that said “WITCH KILLING BULLETS.” I know how a gun works, lady, I thought, smiling. I just hope that’s what you are.

She turned back to my friend, and I pulled the trigger. She fell quickly, and the red lady dropped to the ground as well.

All of a sudden, three men ran down the stairs in front of me. I put the gun back up, knowing that was what I was supposed to do. The man in glasses just looked at me. The one with long brown hair pointed at himself and said NO, and when I looked at the man with the gorgeous green eyes, I paused. I’m sure I know him, I thought, my forehead creasing as I tried to think. He looked at me, shook his head, and said “First guy.”

I didn’t hesitate after that, putting a bullet between his eyes. The two men behind him took a big breath after that, looking at me with smiles. I smiled back, turning my gaze to the one I knew and throwing him a thumbs up.

When they came down the stairs, the one with the spiky hair put his lips on my forehead, wrapping his arms around me. “That’s my girl,” he whispered, moving back to look at my eyes. I still couldn’t place him, but I knew he was important. “Rowena!” he hollered, not letting me go.

The pretty red-haired lady stood, waving me towards her. I looked at the man holding me, who nodded. “It’s okay, go with her.” I followed her up the stairs. When we got to the top, she said a lot of gibberish, and I could see a bright purple light around me. It all came back like snapping a rubber band.

We walked back down the stairs, and I looked between Dean and Sam, furrowing my brow like I was concentrating to remember.

“Is that it? Is it done?” Dean asked, worry etched deep in his features.  

“Who the hell are these two dudes?” I felt guilty for teasing them, more specifically Dean, but I just couldn’t resist.

Dean looked crestfallen, Sam disappointed. I broke out in a big smile. Dean visibly relaxed, and Sam followed, giving me the face. “Sweetheart?” Dean tilted his head, waiting.

I nodded, running into his arms, and crashing into his lips. I could feel his relief in the kiss, and I melted a little at how worried he was for me. I broke the kiss, knowing Sam and Rowena were still behind us, and I could tell Dean didn’t seem to care at all. “I’m back, baby,” I whispered, running my hands through his hair to reassure him. “And I remember how much I love you.”

“You have no idea how much I missed hearing that, Y/N/N. I love you too, sweetheart. Now, let’s get the hell out of here.” Dean pulled away, lacing his fingers with mine, and we followed Rowena and Sam out of the witch’s den.

We got back to the bunker later that day, after securing the spellbook from Rowena, tired and ready to crash for a bit. I hugged Sam before we parted ways to our rooms, thanking him for his help, heading to Dean’s and my room with my duffel. I thought about showering first, but I saw the bed and nixed that idea quickly - curses really took it out of you.

I dropped onto the bed, almost done untying my shoes when Dean walked in, closing the door behind him. “You want first shower?”

I shook my head. “Go ahead, I’m exhausted.” Dean nodded in understanding, leaning down to kiss the crown of my head, skilled hands unbuttoning his flannel. “Lay down sweetheart, I’ll only be a couple minutes, then I’ll join you.”

“Enjoy,” I muttered, scooting up the bed to rest on my pillow, finding I didn’t even have the energy to change out of my jeans. Dean left, Dead Guy’s robe in hand, and I waited, trying to come up with any of the memories I was missing, and failing. I could remember bits and pieces, like shooting the witch and Rowena removing the spell, but that was about it. I hadn’t gotten many details, just the highlights of the last couple days from the boys. Sam did show me my performance from the bar on his laptop on the way home though, and I gotta say, I was damn good.

I heard the door open, and scrunched my face at the light that flooded in from the hall. “Sorry,” Dean whispered. I heard him walk around the bed, to my side, so I turned my head in confusion. “I may be okay sleeping next to you without you showering, but not in those dirty clothes. C’mon sweetheart, sit up, I’ll help you.”

I moaned in annoyance, but complied, pushing myself into a sitting position. Dean pulled my shirt over my head, tossing it to the side, and tucked my arms one by one into one of his clean flannels, buttoning it before helping me get out of my jeans. He lifted my legs back onto the bed, crawling over me to his side, his arms open so I could nuzzle into this chest. He always smelled so good after a shower, soap and a hint of whiskey. He was stroking my hair, his other arm stretched across his broad chest, pulling me tight to his side.

“I’m glad you’re back, Y/N. I hated seeing my girl slip away like that.”

“I’m sorry Dean. I don’t remember most of it, but honestly, if I didn’t remember us, it was probably a nightmare.”

“Actually, for the most part, you were pretty happy. I think not remembering all the crap in the past, everything that weighs us down, made you happier.”

“Don’t you even. I wouldn’t trade this, us, for anything. So no matter how happy I may have seemed, I can pretty much guarantee it was a nightmare for me. I love you, Dean. That makes everything else worth it.” I rested my hand over his tattoo, and he shifted, bringing my hand up to kiss my knuckles, returning it back to his heart, his hand covering mine.

“I hope so.”

I didn’t like the tone I heard in his voice, the sadness, the thought that maybe I would have been happier in another life. I couldn’t disagree more. So I tried a different tactic.

“Besides, in what other life would I have the opportunity to ride Larry the bull?”

I felt his chest vibrate with real laughter. “You got me there. Do you remember what happened afterwards at all?”

“No, I thought I saw and ran after the witch.”

Dean cleared his throat, responding, “Uh, you did, but between that and Larry, you gave me an offer I could never refuse.”

I groaned, “Oh no, I did?” I buried my face into him.

He chuckled again, and squeezed my hand. “Oh yes. After your little ride, you practically skipped to me, and whispered in my ear, ‘Care to finish what Larry started?’ and took full advantage of me in the handicapped stall. It was awesome.”

“Did I…?”

Dean dropped my hand like it was on fire, pulling my chin up so he could look at me, mock disgust on his face. “Please, Y/N, when have I ever, ever left you unsatisfied?”

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t lie. “Fair enough. I should have known better.”

“You’re damn right. And after you get some rest, I’m going to remind you of that fact. At least twice.” I couldn’t stop my eyes from rolling again. Dean mimicked me dramatically.

I giggled, pushing myself up so I could kiss his perfect pink lips. “I love you,” I said, barely breaking contact.

“You know I love you, Y/N/N.” He kissed the top of my nose, then pushed my head back down on top of his chest. “Now, get some sleep so I can remind you in the morning.”

the boathouse is quiet. eddie, despite having many zooming thoughts, is quiet for a change.

‘eddie’s never quiet.’ she thinks, looking over to her boyfriend.

yeah, maybe because of whats happening right now - eddie being wanted for murder and being watched like a hawk by steve the hair harrington - he may be a bit more quiet than usual, but it was….unusual.

apologies for the double use of the word usual, but none of this is normal.

she turns her head over to her boyfriend- or atleast tries to- but he’s not there.

maybe he moved?

“eddie, baby?” i just saw steve 🤭😍

no answer.

she stands up quickly, turning around so fast she might get whiplash, just to see she’s not in the boathouse.

she’s not in the boathouse.

she’s in her room. her room is white and baby blue. heavy footsteps tread up the stairs, footsteps she hears only as her mothers.

“baby? ‘re you up there y/n?” the sweet, fake voice of her mother peeps through the bottom of the door.

“d-don’t come in! i mean it!” she panicks, looking around, spotting the window. the window she uses to climb our of to see eddie perform at the hideout.

“why not? i know youre not doing anything useful in there. you never are. y’know why?”

the doorknob rattles as y/n stumbles back, her dirty air forces scuffing on the hardwood floors.

“mama- please. j-just go away.”

her lip quivers as she bumps into the wall, reaching for the handle of her window to pull it up.

the doorknob rattles faster. louder.

“because you’re useless! you’re ungrateful, and distasteful. i have always been there for you your whole life, and the only thing you’ve ever done for me is mess everything up!” she shouts through the door, banging on the thick wood.

“m-mama, please.” her hands reach to cover her ears as she sinks to the floor, hiding her face in eddie’s her flannel. tears drip uncontrollably down her face as she grips her hair.

why cant everything go away?

everything was so loud and vibrant until..

everything stopped.

the knocking, the banging, the twisting of the doorknob, her mothers screaming — it all stopped.

y/n used all her strength to pull herself up off the floor.

wiping her tears she looked around before turning around to face the window.

she knows how this works.

y/n knows what comes next.

she has 2 minutes before she comes back louder and more angry.

her hand grabs the latch of the window, trying to pull it up, groaning as the window stays shut.

“come on..” she whispers to the window, her eyes growing more and more with wetness as time went on.

“please..” she whispers before stopping as the floorboards creek behind her.

her hands drop as she slowly turns around, tears flowing from her eyes as she mutters incoherent apologies.