#covid rant

I know it is very hard, and our society asks you to get back up and running at full speed as soon as possible, before you’re even done testing positive even.

But please my friends, please rest.

If you push too hard too fast you might be sicker for longer, you might be doing long lasting damage to yourself.

I'm stuck at home with covid and absolutely miserable.

This is the second time I've had muh-muh-my corona. My (then) boss gave it to me the first time. I got a paxlovid script and felt better after a week. This time I got it from... somewhere (it's making rounds at work), I was denied a paxlovid script on the grounds that I'm "too young". Every day I've felt worse and worse.

Right now I'm battling the coughing, the wheezing, the shortness of breath and on top of that this strange sensation that's a lot like wearing a pair of grade school science class goggles that are waaaaay too tight. My face hurts and I feel queasy despite not being sick at my stomach, if that somehow makes any sense?

But enough about me, let's talk Star Wars!

I've been watching The Bad Batch recently and I love it! I'm close to the end of Season 2. It is a concentrated dose of that... unnameable special something the '08 Clone Wars exudes sometimes. I've also been watching the Prequels and the '03 Clone Wars. It's weird seeing pre-2008 Prequel media and how different the vibes really were. Go and watch the two Clone Wars shows back to back and tell me the vibe wasn't completely different pre-2008. The '08 Clone Wars is wonderful, don't get me wrong, but it very much changed the conversation and the way we think about and discuss that era (both in-universe and out-of-universe) of Star Wars.

I guess the word I would use is "sobering"? Pre-2008 Prequel media was all about the righteousness of the war, the unquestionable moral highground of the Jedi, and (most importantly) pew pew get those droids! Post 2008 there's this somber reckoning with the tragedy of war, the moral decay and dogmatism and degeneration at the heart of the Jedi Order, and (most importantly) oh god that wasn't a Separatist stronghold that was an orphanage for orphaned orphans what have I done!?!

Inktober 2022 - Day 23 - Booger

Meh, went a bit wrong for this one. I got this new a5 marker pad by 'Mont Marte' and I was hoping to do a few cute doodles of snot based characters, but this pad isn't actually suitable for markers (despite it saying so). While they won't bleed; it was like drawing on a white board, no blending allowed, and my pencil marks wouldn't rub out properly. Not impressed.

Oh well, while snot grosses me out (sorry Cubchoo, your snot...wobbles...too much for me), I did really enjoy arctozolt because I was suffering from illness at the time I got one in game and I felt SEEN. I WAS THE ARCTOZOLT.

I called mine suffering. 8D

I suspect now, looking back, it was possibly covid that I had. This was before tests were available and shortly after I recovered; the first few cases were confirmed in my local area. No way of truly knowing, but I did experience extreme tiredness and the worst chest infection for a couple of weeks. But I work retail, it could have easily been another flu, chest infection, bad cold etc.

Retail- where people go to incubate their hideous viral diseases. So wear a mask this season, just so you don't get other people's hideous viral diseases. I've seen people walk through fire to get to bargains, they damn sure come in when they're virally ill.

I saw this side-by-side comparison showing how a person’s organs move around to make room for baby and just.. wow. Our bodies are incredible.

I got the Moderna booster on Monday! Aside from a sore arm and a persistent headache, the side effects for me weren’t too bad. I also had some serious fatigue and nausea, but I’m so used to living with those things, I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy or the booster. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I took some Tylenol finally yesterday because that headache was kicking my ass. I typically try to take nothing while I’m pregnant, but it is what it is. I needed it. I also signed off work at 5:01pm knowing I was leaving some things for myself for the next day, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. Such exhaustion.

After falling asleep on the couch yesterday by 8pm, I just gave in to it and was tucked in bed at 8:30. I slept like a damn rock (thank you, pep and b!) and I feel so much more refreshed this morning.

Christmas update (warning - this may get long and ranty!): we had decided on sleeping at my MIL’s house while we’re in NJ over the holiday rather than sleeping at my parents’. We stay at my parents’ house every year and this year has been particularly hard for my MIL, so we thought she could use the company. My mom did not take that well (as expected) when I told her over the phone. Even after we hung up, several hours later, I got a one-word text from her: “Wow.” …really? This doesn’t need to be so dramatic. Needless to say, I didn’t answer.

Two nights ago, I missed a call from my mom and she left a voicemail about Christmas Eve timing. I ended up working til I went to bed, basically, so I didn’t call back. Last night my mom asks me to call her because she’s fretting over Christmas Eve timing, still, for who knows what reason. I call and tell her it doesn’t matter to us. She then also informs me that my brother, his girlfriend, and his girlfriend’s 7yo daughter were uninvited from a big family get-together on Sunday, the day after Christmas. Immediately I knew it was because they’re the only ones not vaccinated and the word “good” popped out of my mouth. Oops. “What did you just say? Good??” …yeah. Again, oops. But I explained that I also am not comfortable with it and if they make the decision (or indecision) to not get vaccinated, they have to also understand that it is going to make some people uncomfortable.

My mom then goes on a rant about my brother and his girlfriend getting COVID in august and according to her google research, antibodies from being infected last 8 months, so he’s “more protected than she is right now!” since she got vaxxed back in March and hasn’t bothered to get boosted. I just cannot with these conversations, y’all. I can’t. My brother is diabetic, and that’s why he says he doesn’t wanna get vaxxed. If anything, that makes him immunocompromised and he had even more reason to get vaxxed before rolling the dice, deciding to just “wait and see”, and then get COVID at a concert. Of course because it wasn’t a severe case it only reinforces his (and my mom’s) ignorance. “It was barely a cold!” I told my mom to tell that to the hundreds of thousands of (sometimes perfectly healthy) people who ended up on ventilators or worse. She must regret asking me to call, huh? 😁

At this point, I’m already so done, guys. Oh, and ALSO. My aunt and cousin are sick with what my mom says is “phlarengitis” - whether she means laryngitis or pharyngitis, I don’t know, and it doesn’t much matter. They’re hosting the family get-together on Sunday so now we have to decide whether to go. Of course we’re leaning heavily toward no, but it’s breaking my heart, because it’s the only time for quite a while that I’ll get to see my grandmother who is visiting from Florida, and might be the only chance for her to meet pep. I also was stoked for my aunt and uncle to meet him, which they haven’t yet. This situation is so, so frustrating and depressing. I could scream.

After all that, I’m trying my darndest to still enjoy pep’s first Christmas as much as we possibly can. I wanna make great memories with him and see him rip into his presents. We’re going to make the best of it.. it just may look different than we had hoped.

Refusing to wear a mask is a moral failing. I don't care if you're fully vaccinated. There will always be someone who isn't, someone who is but still at risk, a new variant, etc etc. It's a simple piece of fabric. We know that it doesn't actually impair our ability to breathe. You just need to slap it on when entering stores and being around strangers, everything else is up to you and the people you're hanging out with.

Listen. If I get infected from some stranger because the stranger and I weren't wearing a mask, I might not know. I could be asymptomatic and still spreading it because I am an asshole who doesn't wear a mask. On the other hand, if you wear a mask in public but not with friends, a covid outbreak in your friend group will be much easier to track, sooner caught, and you can sooner self isolate to avoid infecting anyone.

It's not a particularly hard task. It doesn't have to be a statement, because it's simply a matter of public health.

I’m tired of this fucking pandemic. I’m tired of doing everything that’s necessary to fight against this fucking virus only for some snowflakes to cry out “my body, my choice” because of a vaccine that will help you survive a potentially deathly virus.

I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of planing visits to see my friends who live all over the place only to cancel it because it doesn’t feel safe to travel even though me and everyone i’d meet are fully vaccinated. Watch this place for three weeks if whining because not only my trip to London had to be canceled but Vienna too (I know first world problems, but I’ve been looking forward to it for a year)

I’m tired of people working in elderly homes being not vaccinated and risking their residents. My best friends grandfather, who is three times vaccinated and was in perfect health up until last week, died of covid last night. And I can’t even comfort her because she lives in another state and the covid regulations are different there so I can’t visit her.

I’m just so fucking tired of this.

My life pre pandemic wasn’t perfect. But it was a hundred times better than what’s happening now and I can feel myself slip into the mindset from last year December where I cried basically every fucking day.