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damn maybe there was nothing romantic or sexual going on and they really did just have an unconventionally intimate and codependent friendship that gets misconstrued *remembers a certain aspect of their dynamic or specific thing that happened or was said* Wait.
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reading your own fics is like. i am the worst writer i know except for this one paragraph where literally i am the god of words and no one could ever compare to me.
What would be the ROs thoughts if they asked an seemingly innocent playful MC how they could find it in themselves to still see good in others and forgive and MC, for the first time since they knew them, gives them a tired yet gently mature smile and says 'because someone has to stop the cycle of blame and pain. And I intend to do my part.'
Loreena: "As long as you remember that the cycle isn't a cycle without others doing their part too. Please, don't exert yourself too much."
Robin/Robyn: "You are the biggest enigma I have ever faced, my dove. I don't know many who would be able to do that, but I'm not surprised that you're one of them."
Edmund: "Just make sure that you're not nice to assholes. They don't need you time nor your attention."
Esmé: "My darling, you constantly surprise me with the warmth and love that you show. This world is truly blessed to have such a caring soul within it."
Ayleth: "I don't think I will ever be able to figure you out, my dragon. Nor will I ever want to."
Cedric: "You're amazing, but if you need help you know you can tell me. Right?"
Caspian: "I'm glad that, at least, one of us is doing so. Gods know that this world needs it."
Aghadi: "You, my love, are truly the brightest light in this world."
Phenir: "And what a big part it is."
Revian: "I'm not surprised you're trying to do your part, my dear, I just wish that others would help you with your load."
No. 76
I guess I don't know what I want
I'm stuck
forever going round in this
convoluted circle
A cycle
that changes me constantly
I love life
I'm happy
Look at this
it's so bright
and beautiful
and gorgeous
and -
kill me
I want to die
I hate it
I hate it
I hate it
Blue skies that aren't blue because suddenly I'm colourblind
and deaf
and every sense is foreign to me because they give me the feeling of being alive and I don't want to be
and I'm trapped
Over and over and over and over and over and -
breathe
The floor comes up to meet me and my tears and suddenly I'm drowning
and it's flooding and I am both destroying everything and giving new life to the things around me
It's 1am again with the stars
and I want to feel happy once more but it's never happy because it is just a memory and now I'm so wistful because I wish I could go back to when I wrote my happy poetry because it was so long ago
so long
so long
so long
so lo--
It was last night
The cycle continues
-smolsiamese
When they hurt you and start acting nice instead of apologizing. As if that makes up for it. No. Put your pride aside, open your mouth and say you're sorry.
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“As I walk away, I remember everything between us in an instant and within that instant I go running back to him.”
—the same cycle
When shit goes down
in kindergarten: “what are we in preschool?”
in elementary school: “what are we in kindergarten?”
in middle school: “what are we in elementary school?”
in high school: “what are we in middle school?”
in college: “what are we in high school?”
