#constipated

so today at rehearsal, people volunteered to bring more potluck-style snacks, since we were there all afternoon. y’all… my tummy hurts so bad right now.

luckily, we didn’t have to be in our concert uniforms, so i didn’t have to worry about my full, bloated belly pressing against the buttons of my dress shirt. six days of meals stuck in your tummy is a lot of food, and it was already heavy behind my belly button. i wore my baggiest sweater so i could practice without getting distracted by the strain of a shirt around my swollen, heavy belly.

once we were finished with our music, we got to relax in the dressing room area and eat while the other choir rehearsed.

my dear, sweet friend K brought about two dozen enormous homemade chocolate-oat muffins. you know the kind with the big, fluffy tops?

now if you know me, you know that i both hate wasting food and hate seeing people upset. K made so many beautiful muffins, and nobody had hardly touched them! she looked so sad, and kept nudging me towards her overflowing tray, and i really just didn’t have the heart to refuse. not for lack of trying though, i mean, i tried to explain that my belly was kinda upset, but after ten minutes of people picking at her muffins and her not-so-subtle hints—

“i worked so hard on them, and only two people have even tried them…”

“do you like muffins? i made so many, i’m probably just gonna throw them away if no one eats them…”

“you should try one! you love my baking, don’t you?” (i do, she made brownies about a month ago and i ate three of them)

“you should at least try one, just a bite!”

i crumbled.

it was delicious, too. i have no idea why people were passing them up. i was only gonna have a bite since my tummy has been so sore and swollen, but i just couldn’t help myself. after the second one, my stomach was rumbling, my whole belly still uncomfortably full from everything that’s been sitting in it for days. it made K so happy though, she kept thanking me for trying them and telling her how much i liked them! it was so cute, and i just wanted to keep making her feel better.

when another few minutes passed and nobody else took one, she offered me another, and when i tried to politely refuse, she said, “you don’t have to eat them if you don’t like them…”

aw man, that got me. i couldn’t have her thinking i didn’t like them! when i said i might go for another one, she perked back up immediately, nudging me back towards the snack table where her muffins were.

again, i was only gonna have a bite, but she kept looking at me expectantly, glancing from the muffin in my hand back up to me. i managed to finish it, trying to rub my packed, groaning belly as subtly as i could. oh man, i was not feeling good. it was worth it to see her so excited and proud of her baking, but it was really taking a toll on my stomach. i wasn’t even really queasy yet, just full. i pulled up my sleeve to cover my mouth so i could let out a quiet burp into my fist.

we chatted about her recipe and gossiped about our choir director while my overstuffed tummy churned and moaned its protests. i was thankful the room was loud with the noise of conversation because it covered the loud, rumbly gurgles twisting though my aching belly. it was hard to focus on what she was saying because my stomach was so heavy and upset. each thick bubble made me clench my jaw, desperately fighting back a whimper. the sensation of three gigantic muffins fighting to digest inside my sore, achy belly was too much to keep my attention on anything else.

to top it off, any time someone joined our conversation, K would nudge me and say something like “at least someone liked my muffins, he had three!” although, i was sort of grateful for that because it prompted more people to have a muffin. by the time our break was over, there was only a about a dozen left on her tray, so i assumed i was off the hook.

i assumed wrong. when we were released, i went down with K to grab her leftover muffins, since we all had to help clean up the dressing area, and i’d offered at the beginning of rehearsal to walk her to her car, since it’d be late when we got out. oh man, this was a mistake. my tummy had settled a little, thank goodness, but K just looked up at me in the middle of packing up, and said,

“please, will you take a couple? you liked them so much, didn’t you? why not have another, hmm? i’ll just throw the rest away if you won’t eat them.”

my tummy was bulging from the treats already inside it, i was sure i couldn’t handle any more. still, she was being so sweet, and honestly i have a bit of a crush on her. she’s got that trademark southern generosity, always showing her love through food. i decided to just take a bite of one to show her that that were delicious and that they wouldn’t go to waste.

you see the pattern beginning to emerge, don’t you?

i picked at the muffin she handed me. i could feel every bite drop into my stomach, making it bigger, heavier, tighter. i didn’t want to be rude and belch, but i was so swollen that i couldn’t help it. we walked down the stairs to the parking lot, and the steps jostled a burp from my tummy. i apologized, terribly embarrassed, but she just laughed, asking if my stomach was still upset, and i nodded. by the time we got to her car, i was about halfway through the fourth muffin. she glanced at it in my hand and i kid you not, said, “aww, you’re not gonna finish it?”

when i tell you my cheeks were on fire… i was glad it was dark so she couldn’t see how embarrassed i was. i scarfed down the last few bites, just to make sure i didn’t hurt her feelings, like a true gentleman. a wave of nausea threatened to force the muffins to make a reappearance. i leaned on the side of her car door, holding my belly and trying not to whine while she set the rest of the muffins in her backseat. she closed the car door and i straightened up, but my hand had to stay on my tummy. i just couldn’t bear it. i told her to drive safe and said goodnight, immediately grateful for the privacy to let out a moan as my stomach cramped around four gigantic chocolate chip muffins, as well as six days of other treats.

the walk home was slow and painful, but it was only about a block. i would’ve asked for a ride from her if i wasn’t seriously concerned about getting carsick. plus, i really needed a few minutes to whine about my tummy. every breath i took made my abdomen uncomfortable, my belly so full that taking in air made my stomach groan and ache. i had to stop halfway through to lean against a wall, my hand underneath my sweater. each queasy rumble was followed by a weak belch, my stomach too full to churn violently. it just felt so solid, a heavy brick in my upper belly, stretched unbearably tight.

i feel sick. my tummy feels like it’s gonna explode. my entire abdomen is bubbling with sluggish gurgles. but i can’t stop thinking about how many muffins i ate for her, how unbelievably stuffed i am because a pretty girl wanted me to keep eating.

Left to right, Day 1 (empty), Day 3 (after dinner), Day 6 (after dinner)

**Completely real story**

This morning I woke up like a ball, I promise that my abdomen was a large hard sphere overflowing with waste in its middle and lower part, I spent from the morning of the previous day without evacuating my intestine, and although it may seem little for what I endure on other occasions there is something that made this occasion special. From the morning I started with the abundant dishes and I have been taking that type for several days, so my digestive system has been saturated for quite some time.

In the previous days I had eaten a hamburger of three types of meat, it had sausage, beef and chicken, as well as a large amount of flours and breads with sausage. But yesterday I started the morning having 3 eggs for breakfast at noon I went through two empanadas and it was here that everything got out of control, after an afternoon of breakfast work I got home wanting to shit but the urgency to smoke weed was greater so I decided to hold on, I smoked a cigarette and then I inhaled in the bon. I proceeded to eat 3 large plates of meat with chorizo, nopales and rice. With 5 flour tortillas. Two hours before that banquet that left my stomach ache a little because of the expansion, I proceeded to go down again, this time I made four tacos with meat and chorizo. With flour tortilla of a larger size than average. And finally before going to bed, already with my inflamed large intestine in all its stages and a fairly strong pain in the stomach due to the expansion by food.

Finally I went to bed with a swollen stomach but without wanting to evacuate, it was as if suddenly my intestine had forgotten that I already had an afternoon of heavy and greasy food from the day before waiting to go out because of my rectum and had decided to join it with what I had just ingested. All this resulted in me having gas all night and morning with a smell of decomposed meat coming out of my guts. I love feeling so fat and heavy.

I finally got ready to get up to go to work and immediately felt the abundant pressure in my rectum and my abdomen distended almost the same as when I went to bed. All that accumulated food of almost two days I was in a hurry to go out. But I decided to enjoy that pressure a little so I went out to my balcony to smoke the first cigarette of the day (fully aware that that would only make me want to let my shit out). Already with a greater urgency, since sitting in my chair was even difficult because of the pain and pressure in my anus I prepared a touch of grass and smoked it to urgently go to the bathroom to free my poor full guts. The expulsion was painful, more than 8 thick and yellow pieces came out even with badly liquefied food and with a lot of gas but it was too exciting, I was about to masturbate.