I’m so fucking worried rn

I’m sooo scared to text older men, as much as I like them. What if my mom doesn’t approve (which is most likely), and takes my phone because of it? I’d hate to wait until I’m practically an adult to talk to them. I don’t want to wait because then I’ll be a single loser for sooo long and it’ll be so boring! Does anyone have any tips to at least hide the fact you’re talking to an older person?? My parents have a lot of trust in me and usually don’t care, so it’s a bit easy to get away with stuff. And I’m sure my mom would understand that I have a type, as long as I’m not speaking sexually and sending nudes and what not, but I’m not sure how she’d react to me ACTUALLY talking to them.

seeing a friend drowning on their own illness and you can’t help them bc they were the one who pulled away, but you still feel like shit every time you think about it