✧・゜ how to radiate confidence in social situations (even when you're screaming inside) ゜✧:・゜✧
hey lovelies! ✧
let's be honest - we've all been there. standing in a room full of people, smile plastered on, while our internal monologue is having a complete meltdown. that was literally me last weekend at this networking event where i knew absolutely no one and spent the first 15 minutes hiding in the bathroom (classic me behavior).
but over time i've collected some little tricks that help me appear confident even when my insides are doing gymnastics. thought i'd share in case any of you are fellow social anxiety girlies too!
⋆.ೃ࿔:・ the body language hack ・:࿔ೃ.⋆
our bodies can actually trick our minds into feeling confident. before entering any intimidating social situation, i find a private spot (usually the bathroom, let's be real) and stand in a "power pose" for two minutes. arms on hips, shoulders back, chin up. it feels silly but it genuinely changes my nervous system.
another tiny thing: keep your hands visible, not crossed or hidden in pockets. something about this signals confidence to others and eventually to yourself.
⋆.ೃ࿔:・ prepare your conversation toolkit ・:࿔ೃ.⋆
nothing makes me panic more than awkward silence, so i always have a mental list of conversation starters ready. not just "what do you do?" but questions that actually lead somewhere interesting:
"what's been keeping you busy outside of work lately?"
"have you read/watched anything good recently?"
"what's something you're looking forward to this year?"
the secret is asking questions that you genuinely want to hear answers to. people can sense authentic curiosity, and it takes pressure off you to be "interesting" when you're focused on being interested.
⋆.ೃ࿔:・ the "i belong here" mindset shift ・:࿔ೃ.⋆
this one changed everything for me. i used to walk into rooms thinking "i hope they like me" which immediately put me in a position of seeking approval. now i try to shift to "i wonder if i'll like them."
it's such a subtle change but it puts you in the position of the observer rather than the observed. suddenly you're not auditioning for acceptance - you're just seeing if this person/group is your vibe.
⋆.ೃ࿔:・ embrace the awkward ・:࿔ೃ.⋆
the biggest confidence killer is trying to be perfect. there's actually something magnetic about someone who can laugh at themselves when they trip over a word or spill their drink.
i've started just naming the awkwardness when it happens: "well that came out completely wrong, let me try again!" people actually connect more with your humanity than your perfection.
⋆.ೃ࿔:・ the 5-second reset ・:࿔ೃ.⋆
when i feel myself spiraling into overthinking, i use this tiny reset: i take a deep breath, count to 5, and remind myself that most people are too worried about themselves to be analyzing me.
seriously, the same insecurity that makes you worry about what others think is the exact thing that prevents others from thinking about you as much as you fear!
⋆.ೃ࿔:・ aftercare is essential ・:࿔ೃ.⋆
confidence isn't just about how you act in the moment - it's also about how you treat yourself after. i used to dissect every interaction, cringing at everything i said.
now i have a rule: no social autopsies. instead, i celebrate that i showed up at all. sometimes i'll even buy myself a little treat on the way home as a "well done for being brave" gift.
remember, true confidence isn't the absence of fear - it's just the decision that something else is more important than that fear. and with practice, those screaming-inside moments get quieter and less frequent.
what about you? any confidence hacks that help you in social situations?
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This is one of the oldest tricks in book my friends.
I hope none of you are innocent enough to fall for it
Note how it only praises the reader, and outlines problems so vague they could apply to anyone and would apply to most people.
This is a cold read, and not a subtle one.
They send it to 1 million people, maybe a 1 thousand believe it, and another thousand or two respond out of boredom or curiousity. That's 3000 fish on their line.
Next step if you interact is they actually look at your page. Do you know how much info you give out about yourself on Tumblr? Someone told me their actual date of birth yesterday!!
the next message you get from them would be way more targeted. They'll know things about you they should not be able to know (except for that one post you made 5 years ago about your grandfather and then forgot)
and then when you're truly hooked the requests for money will start. Not much. Tailored to you and your financial abilities, which they'll know because you'll have said so (or at least alluded to) previously on Tumblr.Com
"To undertake this working the spirits demand a small sacrifice of $50 so they know you are earnest in your request for their aid"
"my ritual urn exploded and I'll need to buy a new one, so I'll need $250 before I can cast this spell for you. Your date is this Saturday? Then I'll need to pay for express shipping as well"
This is their job. To work money out of people. They are good at it.
We all only hear of girls being money diggers by sceptical mothers and mothers-in-law, but the main character in this film made it her profession and got a kick out of it. Starring Sonam Kapoor as Dolly, the girl running marriage scams in the towns of North India, it entails her getting married to potentially well-off boys and then running away with valuables on the first night of their marriage. From wealthy landlord families to simple-minded business owners, she loots them all and disappears with her fake family. When a police officer catches up to her antics after a few prominent families, he plans to set a trap for her to fall into.
A fresh idea for the serious commitment that marriage is believed to be in India, this film was entertaining to the end of how she played her part well. While Sonam Kapoor is not well received through her work, this film was exemplary with a few other films. The idea was novel to me when it was released, I nevertheless believe it is easy to get away with a similar scam, as marriage is a sensitive and elaborate process between families with not many serious qualifications needed. While it is a light-hearted film about a charming con girl, marriage scams are authentic leaving its victims with serious consequences.
Ladies Vs Ricky Bahl (2011)
One of my first films on con artists, this film too glorifies the illegal profession. With Ranveer Singh as the lead, we first see him scamming a girl to fall in love with him while convincing her father to buy his property from a fake owner. We then see him run a painting scam with a businesswoman, only for her to get conned by him. In her rage at being fired, the businesswoman teams up with other women conned by the same man and plans revenge to get back their money.
Having presented the same topic in college, I stand by my statement, that India is one of the top ten on a list of countries with the most frauds and scams. This movie was charming, convincing us of how good-looking he was that we almost forgave him for his crimes. But in reality, this film, however unintentional, glorified the actions of a con artist. It was one of my favourite films to rewatch, and it still is, not just for the story but for the empowered victims and gave them a course of action. While the tactics are hard to replicate in reality, the film is still entertaining.
Players (2012)
Another classic in this list, this film has a brilliant execution of their elaborate plan of subjective justice for their lives. Initially planning to steal gold with a unique team of individuals, the film spins out of trajectory when their plan goes unfinished. The film then picks off from a different perspective, and with every turn in the movie we zoom out to see that there was a bigger picture than the one we saw before and believed. The film was mindblowing with the nuances added to the plot that made it gripping every single time, and with stereotypes that were not all that unique but still had humane characters.
Having a specific aesthetic through the direction and actors that were skilled and very specific to the character roles, this film is entertaining and compelling until the very end. Being over a decade old, it might initially seem cliche for today’s standard and yet it has a timeless value repetitively ingrained throughout. The film focuses heavily on loyalty and doing right by what is morally expected of someone, even though it is a conflicting topic in this genre of the film. ‘Players’ was thrilling with a sense of humour while keeping us on the edge of our seats on what could unravel next.
Vaastu Prakara (2014)
One of the first films by Rakshith Shetty, this film is a bag of laughs and drama. While conning is not the leading theme here, it is ruled by romance and them deceiving one family for their own reasons. Two men come together for a profession deeply dependent on faith and indigenous science, though their beliefs are inconsistent for the same. With a job that brings romance to one and work to do for both, they both go on a trial of their skills.
With seasoned actors like Ananth Nag and Sudha Rani, this film is an amusing punch. It is easily a family watch despite the romance and the humour. It also highlights the generational gap most people experience with their parents and children. With a controversial director, this film had its fans and critics having unique opinions, but I’d like to point out they only presented a perspective, not the reality.
Roy (2015)
Creating enormous buzz when it came out, this film was a paradox to the audience until someone dissected the storyline to make it sensible. With enchanting directions and captivating actors playing enigmatic characters, the storyline makes sense but somehow leaves a vital dot that needs to be connected that suddenly makes sense in the very end. It starts with a story of an art thief falling in love and changing his direction with another parallel of a filmmaker who meets a captivating woman and connects with her. The rest of the film takes us on a journey that none of us can predict.
With its enchanting music, dreamy visuals and ensnaring plotline, this film is one for an evening that requires contemplation on the experience it was. While the story is not original or unique, the narration and direction of the story makes it distinctive. Somewhat appearing to break the fourth wall of the cinema, this film gives a perspective peek into the lives of the storytellers we regularly consume from.
Special 26 (2013)
Based on a real story, this film entails the time of individuals fraudulently posing as government officers and raiding corrupt politicians and local businessmen. Getting away with it was the easy part, with them being quickly followed and chased by the legal government officials, fleeing them in minutes and having a solid system. It was based on the heist in 1987, where they even interviewed the people for the heist, making it seem like they were actual officers, involving real police authorities for support during the raids.
This film was an enormous success in the theatres and the television when it was released, well-known for the story and the work of prominent actors. While the film seems like an adaptation of a Robin Hood figure, taking black money from corrupt individuals, the money does not flow out to the people as the original story goes. The brilliant execution of the raids, the plot twists and the stunning performance by the actors are unmatched. With a very Indian touch to the film theme and the art of conning being perceptible from the beginning, this film is exceptional.
Drive (2019)
With distinctively bad ratings, this film is a good watch for the first time. Starring Sushanth Singh Rajput and a few other stars from Bollywood, it was refilmed several times to fit into the genre of OTT Platforms. The film starts with a buzz, a corrupt politician hiding her money in the Rastrapathi Bhavan only to hear rumours that it could be stolen by the “King”. With steep conflicts and two officers dispatched to dissolve this situation, the film pans to a group of individuals dabbling in illegal car racing who encounter another mysterious character who offers help with everything and nothing.
With innumerable plot twists and characters revealing their identities layer by layer, this film is mind-boggling and undeniably fictional. The film is like a meld of Dhoom and the Race series, with cliche themes of adrenaline pump and complex characters coming together for the impossible. While the mix is not invalid, somehow the film does not pack the punch either series did. The chase is thrilling, and this film is absolutely recommended to people who love the adrenaline rush. The car races are the icing of the film.
Operation Alamelamma (2017)
A truly underrated gem from the Kannada film industry, this film was hilarious with an excellent plan that was successfully executed. The film starts with a simple man who casually picks up a luggage bag on the street only to get hauled into a kidnapping case making him the prime suspect. Claiming to have picked the bag out of curiosity, the man ends up on a road trip with the police officials scrambling to find the son of a businessman. The story has flashbacks and unique characters, everything coming together in the end with an unimaginable tale.
I was enamoured by this film, not having seen anything like this in any other films of any language. The characters not being con artists in reality, the film is ingenious and out of the ordinary. With nearly all the actors being underrated, the reception was limited amongst the audiences with barely any fame, making it a hidden jewel. The language and setting are local to South Indians and could be a fresh perspective to the prospective global audience. Having very down-to-earth characters and a story that leaves us speechless, this film is like no other.
Race series (2008, 2013,2018)
The first Race film was groundbreaking setting standards high in the con artists and heist experts genre of films, with the second film surpassing the first film with the buzz created. With nearly terrible ratings for the third film, I promptly ignored its existence while rewatching the first two. The film mafia groups, complex familiaes with hidden crimes and agendas, and a plottwist to leave us all in shock. The first film came with a lot of twists and turns, mostly involving family drama between two ambitious brothers. The second film features one of the said brothers and he many heists he gets involved in with a very well-known business tychoon to make money.
Being very young when I first watched both the films, the adrenaline rush and the exciting plot left me entalled in its brilliance. Having rewatched it recently, I can certainly find plenty of faults in the films, but nonetheless, it is fast paced and takes us on a race to the end with the exhilaring story. The films are creative thats for sure, but the characters never seem to evolve which is both good and bad for the story. Race was always a classic in this genre of films, with con artists living the best life while also having incredible music, and each of their entrances with alluring romances.
Dhoom series (2004, 2006, 2013)
If anything could beat the Race series in its brilliance, its these three films. While the Race series highlighted the cons and the heists from the perspective of the con artists, these three films takes a wider shot including the storyline of the infamous two cops in the three films while also letting us in on the con artists lives behind the crimes. The thieves here are called just the ame and pan out from just India to South and North America with the crimes being greater than the one featured before.
The first film involves heists that are local but frustrating enough to the police officials who are unable to catch them on their own, having to bring in special officers to deduce the mind of this unique crime group. The second film however brings in an artistic persective to the tale with the con artist not just being excellant at his job, but also being a master of disguises. The last film involves Aamir Khan taking the stage as a circus entertainer, brought by his father in the same profession sworn to revenge for a bitter past and brilliant plans for the American Banks.
The plots were incredible, unique to each con artist and with endings that are unpredictable every time. The films have stayed imprinted on my mind from a young age, and while it glorifies the crime it also show us the incredible amount of commitment and hardwork that actualy goes behind it. With visuals that blow our minds and avant-garde technology, the films are sure to blow our minds and leave us reeling for more.
Build self-awareness – The beliefs you hold about yourself are key in confidence building. Be careful when you form certain thoughts about yourself.
Nourish self-love – Compliment yourself and celebrate yourself. Embracing these practices helps you change the way you view yourself and thus your confidence.
Work on the way you carry yourself – For instance, body language is an important part of confidence. Work on your stance, your eye contact, and your mannerisms.
A high value woman is often viewed as a woman with certain principles. It is much more than embracing physical beauty. How to go about it?
Challenge yourself – Don’t let fear limit you from accomplishing things you desire. Go out there and try. Confidence is the ability to believe in yourself enough to put yourself out there.
hey instead of making self-deprecating jokes about how "useless" etc. you are, make sarcastic exaggerated jokes about how awesome/smart/attractive you are, even if you don't mean it.
it's probably not going to fix your self worth, but it does make a small difference that can be very important
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Hey Mindy!!! I love your blog. I was wondering whether you have any tips for giving good presentations?? I’m really shy and I have a mock trial soon. I’m a witness hahaha I’m so nervous ! 😬
hey lovely!! 🤍
omg first of all, thank you so much for the sweet message!! i'm so happy you enjoy my blog. mock trial witnesses can be super intimidating (i've been there too!!) but i promise you're going to absolutely shine once you get some confidence tricks in your pocket.
✧ presentation power moves for the shy girlies ✧
1. preparation is your secret weapon
- memorize your witness statement until it feels like second nature
- practice in front of a mirror so you can see your facial expressions
- record yourself on your phone and listen back (yes it's cringey but sooo helpful)
- create a little character profile for your witness ~ their motivations, personality, quirks
- anticipate cross-examination questions that might trip you up
2. body language that commands attention
- sit up straight but not stiff
- keep your hands visible + still (fidgeting screams nervous)
- make strategic eye contact with the jury when making important points
- slightly lean forward when answering questions to show engagement
- practice a calm, neutral face for when opposing counsel tries to rattle you
3. voice control techniques
- speak slightly slower than your normal pace (nerves make us rush)
- end statements with downward inflection to sound confident
- pause before answering difficult questions (it looks thoughtful, not unsure)
- vary your tone to emphasize key points (monotone = boring witness)
- practice projecting from your diaphragm, not your throat
4. handling nervousness like a pro
- arrive early to familiarize yourself with the room
- do 4-7-8 breathing before you go in (inhale 4 counts, hold 7, exhale 8)
- wear something that makes you feel powerful but still appropriate
- create a pre-testimony ritual (mine is applying lip gloss + whispering "you got this")
- visualize success the night before (literally picture yourself being amazing)
5. witness-specific strategies
- stay in character even during objections
- if you don't know an answer, it's okay to say "i don't recall" (better than making things up!)
- listen to the FULL question before answering
- if opposing counsel tries to put words in your mouth, politely correct them
- remember: you're not only answering questions, you're telling a story
6. handling cross-examination gracefully
- take a sip of water if you need time to think
- don't argue with opposing counsel (it makes you look defensive)
- if they cut you off, pause and say "may i finish my answer?"
- maintain your composure even if they're trying to provoke you
- remember that "yes" and "no" can be complete answers
7. little psychological tricks
- wear something with a subtle confidence trigger
- have a "power phrase" to repeat silently when nervous
- visualize the jury as friends who are genuinely interested in what you have to say
- practice with someone who intimidates you a little (builds resilience)
- remember that literally everyone else is nervous too, they're just hiding it
8. day-of preparation
- avoid caffeine if it makes you jittery
- eat something light but sustaining
- arrive with plenty of time to center yourself
- bring a tiny comfort object that fits in your pocket
the jury will connect with authenticity over perfection every time!! your nervousness just means you care, and that passion will actually make you more compelling once you channel it properly.
you're going to absolutely crush this!! please let me know how it goes, i'm literally invested in your success now. sorry if this reply was a bit late.
xoxo, mindy 🤍
p.s. if you're super nervous the night before, try writing out your answers to potential questions by hand. something about the physical act of writing helps cement things in your memory better than just reading or typing!