#cod zombies headcanons

Long ago you did an au where both Richtofen would leave as roommate with a very sitcomy like vibe to it. I was wondering about how the ultimis teams would leave in such context, where they would have no zombies to fight all the time.

💫 Hello, hello- I would say ‘welcome back’ but uh…💔 I’ll finish this and post it in case you come back and see it! This took a while, didn’t it? I’m sorry about that, I got a bit lost in all the negatives of bo7. But never mind that- There’s always a seat in this little blog for you !!✨

💫 I remember this!! I’ve taken some time to think about it, and I have some hc’s for you!✨

✨ Ultimis Modern/Normal AU HC’s!✨

⭐️ RICHTOFEN!

✨ Richtofen is the ‘fix it’ man of the house. When something breaks, he fixes it! Though, if serious damage has been done, he will demand to know who did it before he gets to work.

“Who messed this up?! I just want to know!” - Richtofen.

✨ Richtofen will sometimes ask one of the boys to help him, but only in terms of getting things for him. Any time Takeo, or god forbid, Dempsey, tries to get involved and fix whatever is broken with him, he’ll slap their hands away.

“Nein, nein! Get away- Get your grubby hands off! The Doktor will fix this himself. The last thing I need is you breaking it further.” - Richtofen.

✨ If there’s a loud BANG from somewhere in the house, Richtofen will immediately blame Dempsey.

“WHAT DID YOU DO, DEMPSEY?!” - Richtofen.

“HUH? ME?!” - Dempsey.

✨ Richtofen cooks for the house on special occasions, but refuses to cook on Thanksgiving. It’s an American holiday, and those shouldn’t be celebrated in ‘German households.’

✨ He loves watching TV and playing video games loudly, which is just as well because it means the whole house can either watch or play with him and get just as invested as he does. The boys have game nights on Fridays, and the loser of whatever game they’re playing has to do some of the household chores like dishes or laundry.

✨ Richtofen will also tend to the garden sometimes- He’s a busy body around the house. If there’s anything he can do, he’ll do it. He HATES just sitting still in one place not doing anything.

⭐️ DEMPSEY!

✨ Dempsey is the mechanic of the house. He owns a motorbike and fixes up the boy’s car when it needs it.

✨ Dempsey has put together a makeshift gym in the garage thanks to a very expensive Amazon delivery order. He has given himself ample space to work out, blow off some steam or work on the car/bike.

✨ Dempsey isn’t a very good builder. The shelves he puts up aren’t straight, and any structure he puts together to try and help in the house usually doesn’t work.

“…When I said we needed a new table, I wasn’t asking you to-“ - Richtofen.

“Yeah, I know, but look! [Bangs on the DIY table.] I just saved us money! It’s sturdy as a— [The table falls apart.]” - Dempsey.

“- Moist towelette. Ja. Very well demonstrated.” - Richtofen.

✨ Dempsey has begged and begged for a house cat. Takeo is indifferent, Nikolai is in favour, but Richtofen wants a dog. So, due to the argument never ending, the house doesn’t have a pet. Yet.

✨ Dempsey Is a huge sports fan. Unfortunately, he’s not the only patriotic man in the household. If an American team is facing off against a German, Japanese or Russian team, watching the game becomes very personal very quickly.

✨ When someone is sad or having a tough day, Dempsey is the one who goes out of his way to cheer them up. He takes food up to their room, offers to watch a show with them or game with them. It’s difficult not to smile when Dempsey sets his mind to brightening the mood!

⭐️ TAKEO!

✨ When an argument happens in the house, Takeo tries his best to act as a mediator. If only his own personal biases didn’t get in the way…

“Ja, so you should pay for it!” - Richtofen.

“It’s somethin’ we all use and it was an accident!” - Dempsey.

“He is right though, Dempsey, you are the one who broke it-“ - Takeo.

“‘Course you’re sayin’ that, you always kiss his ass.” - Dempsey.

✨ Takeo cooks for the house most often, and especially when it’s a Japanese holiday. He shares his culture with the house any chance he gets! They do try not to be too insulting if they don’t like what he shares with them.

✨ When drunk, Takeo is hilarious! His jokes are top tier! Though, that might only be because the rest of the house are drunk too…

✨ Takeo spends his time in the garden a lot. He likes being among the flowers Richtofen plants. He also likes to do yoga in the garden of a morning. The fresh air is ‘good for such old bones.’

✨ Takeo usually insists that the boys go out to eat every so often. He likes when his friends treat themselves and it’s always nice to be out of the house. This will trigger a fight over where to eat, and Richtofen usually wins.

✨ Takeo is an early riser and very quiet. There’s been times he’s made the others jump just by simply existing in a space.

⭐️ NIKOLAI!

✨ Shockingly enough, it’s actually Nikolai who’s the most responsible with the household’s money. With his own, he’s more than happy to blow it all on vodka, but with the house’s joint account, he’s quite smart. He only spend the houses’ money on vodka once- Richtofen gave him a black eye for it and he soon straightened out.

✨ Nikolai is rarely on his own. He likes hanging out in the communal spaces of the house, so he’s usually on the sofa in the living room or at the table in the kitchen with someone else.

✨ He’s the most likely to bring friends he makes over, and is very loud with them- They’re usually drunk.

✨ Because of his preference of hanging around the communal spaces of the house, he’s usually there at the scene of the crime when something breaks, or someone argues. He tries to resolve issues with his humor, but that usually ends in a:

“[…] Ah, fuck you. You want fight, you fight. What can Nikolai do, eh?” - Nikolai.

✨ Nikolai takes the longest in the bathroom because he takes baths and will often get so comfortable that he falls asleep in the tub. There have been a few times where the others have shaken him awake in a panic, only to sigh in relief when he snorts awake and stares at them.

✨ Nikolai wakes up the latest of them all, and also sleeps like a log! He will usually stumble down the stairs at 3 pm or later. (The boys check on him if he isn’t out of bed by 5 pm!

RICHTOFEN: surprisingly, i think an enigneer. mostly cause his experiments (esp ultimis eddie) was based in teleportation and weapons, similar to the actual engie. many would think he would be a medic, primis is/was a surgeon at one point but i see him more as an engineer. he WOULD have his various guns (wunderwaffe, thunder gun etc). admin cant stop him

DEMPSEY: unsurprisingly, a soldier. this is so obvious for our special marine but yea. i think he would like the rocket launcher and shotgun. esp the rocket launcher!! tho i think he could convince someone to let him have a m16 for being a very good boy lmao

NIKOLAI: um i thought i read somewhere that he was a sniper? i think im wrong tho,, either way im making him one. for fun mostly. i think he would use the smg more often tho, or another side arm. like the fn fal. :3

TAKEO: also a soldier, which is defo basic as hell but he doesnt suit the other classes. similar to nikolai tho he would mostly use a side arm. such as the china lake (which there's voice lines that say its his favorite gun btw) or his sword. due to him having a sword i almost made him a demoman, he fits soldier way more imo

Tank would still be part of the Marine Corps like his other counterparts, though I also wanted to imagine him being part of the CIA like what Sims did where he was still serving the US Army for 2 years before joining the CIA. And there are possible things that he also met Eddie.

Nikolai would be a KGB agent, a Spetsnaz soldier, or part of the Omega Group and maybe pull off a "Ravenov" (Rav betrayed Omega, so maybe Nikolai would do the same as well. At the same time it would be weird since he is quite patriotic and loyal but who knows, maybe there will be a change of heart in him.)

That's acually a very good question. :D So much so, I had to sit that one out. /hj

Ultimis Dempsey, I'd say, would be like "COOKIE DOUGH SUPREMACY!" Primis Dempsey would probably go for cookie dough.

Ultimis Nikolai would probably enjoy White and Brown Russian Ice cream. Primis Nikolai is more of a Crème Brûlée kind of guy.

Both Takeos would go for sorbets. But Ultimis Takeo would prefer cone uce cream with tutti frutti and chocolate powder. Primis would go for coconut ice cream.

I personally HC the Richtofens to be lactose-intolerant, so they would pick any sorbet.

(I thought I might as well make a list of my silly gay headcanons, seeing as it’s Pride Month! ^-^)

Richtofen loves music. He always asks Dempsey to dance with him, and Dempsey always says yes. (Richtofen also loves singing along to songs, but he’s really bad at singing.)

Dempsey always tries to find nice gifts for Richtofen, but never finds anything good and ends up buying some Double Tap Root Beer for him.

If Richtofen gets hurt, Dempsey becomes really protective and won’t let Richtofen out of his sights.

They try to keep their relationship secret, but Nikolai eventually finds out and tells Takeo. After that, Richtofen constantly talks about Dempsey. (It’s usually just tons of praise for Dempsey, which gets annoying after a while.)

Richtofen usually tells Nikolai and Takeo a little too much about his relationship with Dempsey, resulting in quite a few awkward silences.

When they argue, it’s normally over silly little things, and always ends with them laughing at something and forgetting what they were arguing about.

💫 Hello, hello, welcome in!! Take a seat! And boy, would I? I absolutely would LOVE to!!✨

💫 VALENTINE’S ULT. RICHTOFEN HC’S!✨

✨ Richtofen is a very loud, very expressive and IMMENSELY excitable man! So, the fun would start immediately. He’d instantly be yelling a ‘HAPPY VALENTINES DAY LIEBLING!’ from the moment his lover wakes up.

✨ In a normal life, he’d probably wake up first and make a special breakfast for himself and his lover, but in an apocalypse? He’s by the fire first thing in the morning, trying to make whatever slop he’s found in a tin look somewhat appealing.

✨ Richtofen is confident in his looks, we all know that, but he’d take extra care to clean himself up well for the day. Not only for his own narcissistic gaze, but also his lover’s. He shaves using a shard of glass as a mirror and a blade as a razor, spending some extra time down by whatever river or creek the group have come across to ensure he is SUPER presentable! (Even though his efforts will all get ruined the moment he sees a zombie.)

✨ Richtofen usually keeps close to his lover, but on Valentine’s Day, the pair are inseparable. He will offer to open doors for his lover- AND ONLY HIS LOVER. Should anyone else try to step through the open door before him and his partner, slams the door in that person’s face.

“Here, mein(e) liebling, let me~!”

“D’awww! Look at the doc’ bein’ all nice! Don’t mind if I-“

“NEIN! BACK! I didn’t open this for YOU, Dempsey!”

✨ He gets gobblegums and perks for his lover as little gifts! Though, he’s absolutely obnoxious when he presents them. Rather than just simply handing them over, he insists on opening the perk bottle and pouring the foul liquid into his lover’s mouth, or pulling his lover close as he grasps their jaw and pops the gum into their mouth. It makes the other members of the crew awkwardly uncomfortable, but Richtofen seems oblivious to that.

✨ His presents don’t stop at perks and gums unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on his lover’s perspective.) Richtofen will pick up anything from random little trinkets to vaguely heart shaped zombie bone fragments and exclaim:

“Look! This reminds me of you!”

✨ Richtofen isn’t all too impressed with the other crew members wishing his lover a happy valentines. He will put a protective arm around them, or snark out a quick comment. Deep down, he knows there’s no harm meant, but his reactions are instinctive. His protectiveness is a knee-jerk reaction.

✨ Valentines traditions weren’t adopted during the war in Germany, and before the corruption, Richtofen probably wouldn’t think too much about it. But afterwards, with his playfulness and excitable side pushed to the forefront of his personality, he gets all too excited to write his partner a love letter. The letters…Don’t make a lot of sense. He scribbles about how ‘He’ sent his lover to him, and about how perfect their life will be in Agartha, but for all the barley legible scrawling, its the thought and effort that counts! …Right?