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This is the 4th painting in my Berserker Predator series. 70x100 cm.
Story
In this scene, the Berserker is not in the middle of a hunt.
His armor, weapons, and mask are still with him, but his posture tells a different story.
The object he is holding is something he carries in his pouch and rarely takes out.
It is not a weapon, nor a display of technology.
It is a personal item â something he values, something tied to memory rather than conquest.
He came to this place not to hunt, but to be still.
Away from hierarchy, noise, and the constant need to prove strength.
Though this planet is alien, it offers him a rare sense of calm.
There is no rage in his expression.
But there is no softness either.
What we see is balance â the state of a being who has survived long enough to no longer be ruled by instinct alone.
The light comes from the environment itself: biological structures and crystalline forms.
It is not harsh.
It does not reflect loudly off metal or skin â it is absorbed, softened.
That is why the scene feels dark, yet not oppressive.
Technically, the composition supports the narrative.
The dark, matte background is not used to dramatize power, but to isolate the figure.
Light exists only to describe form, not to decorate it.
From a distance, the background reads as a single mass; up close, it reveals a living ecosystem.
In this moment, the Berserker does not appear powerful because he is hunting â
he appears powerful because he is in his own space.
S1 before the games, mention of gambling addiction, mention of age gap, some very light swearing, break up, violence mentionned, toxic relationship (quite depressing, really).
English is not my first language so sorry if there is spelling mistakes. I would love feedback on this!
A PART 2 RELATED TO THE GAMES IS COMING UP IN A WEEK.
It was yet another night Gi-hun came home to you, totally beaten up. Loan sharks had found him and made him pay for his unpaid debts. Gi-hun had promised multiple times to stop, to just try and quit gambling, but in reality, he couldnâtâit was an addiction.
Despite everything, you remained by his side, trying to help him as you could, even by lending him the little money you had to keep him out of trouble.
You even moved in with him five months earlier, and your presence had significantly improved his lifestyle. He was really trying to be better, for the sake of your relationship and himself. But it still wasnât enough, and tonight was the last straw for you.
It was already 11 P.M as you waited for Gi-Hun to come home. He was supposed to be with you by now. You were worrying, as always, fearing that you would have to witness your lover being destroyed physically and mentally by his addiction yet again. As you sent him another text asking where he was, you heard the sound of keys in the lock, and the door opened.
You looked up, your eyes widening as you saw Gi-hun. His head was lowered, his bag dangling in his hand. You could sense his guilt in the way he carried himself and you knew, you just knew it was going to be a terrible evening.
"Look at me,â you said softly, trying to keep your voice calm, but firm. He lifted his eyes slowly, meeting your gaze. They were red, his nose bleeding, his left eye swollen and bruised, and there was a nasty bump on his forehead.
You got up, your breath catching in your throat, and ran toward him. The smell of stale sweat and alcohol filled the air as you closed the door behind you. You guided him to the kitchen chair, his body heavy and uncooperative. He didnât say a word, visibly shaken, only staring at you with deep regret. You helped him remove his jacket and cap, âStay here.â you said gently.
You didnât even bother to yell at him this timeâwhat good would it do? This had happened too many times. Instead, you went to the bathroom, searching for the first aid kit in the mess of bottles and supplies. As you rummaged through the cabinet, you heard him let out a muffled sob from the kitchen. You paused for a moment, sighed and stared at your own reflection in the mirror, wondering if happiness was even possible in this relationship anymore.
Finally, you came back to him with the kit. You knelt in front of him, placing your hands on his knees to reassure him.
âIâm sorry⌠Iâm so fucking sorry, (Y/N),â he whispered.
You didnât respond and got up to pick a cotton pad, soaking it with disinfectant. You began to clean his wounds carefully. He didnât say another word, knowing how disappointed you were in him.
You continued silently, now applying healing cream to the bump on his forehead. âAre you hurt anywhere else?â you asked, concerned.
He shook his head no, but you noticed some bruises on his arms. âGo take a shower,â you said, pressing a hand to his back to guide him to the bathroom. âThen weâll talk.â
He nodded, not arguing. He knew he had no right to. As you heard the water start running, you sat down in the chair he had just left, staring at your hands.
You couldnât believe this had happened again. You didnât know what to say to him anymore. He kept promising and promising to change, but nothing ever changed. There were good days and bad days, but the sight of him beaten up and hopeless was too much for you to bear anymore.
Tears formed in your eyes as you thought about how much you loved this man. You had even imagined marrying him one day. He made you happy, but at the same time, you felt so sick from worrying about him constantly.
Ten minutes later, Gi-hun came back from the shower, his damp hair clinging to his forehead. He wore a worn-out white shirt and striped pajama pants as he sat at the end of the table in front of you, his expression resigned and his bruises visible.
âGo on,â he said quietly. âI know I donât have any excuses. I deserve this.â
âNo!â you said sharply. âNo, you donât! Ever.â You paused, trying to compose yourself, âWho did this to you?â but you already knew the answer.
âLoan sharks,â he admitted, defeated. âThey were stalking me earlier and cornered me in an abandoned bathroom at Ssangmun-dong Park.â
You closed your eyes again, taking a deep breath to calm yourself. âGi-hun, I donât even know what to say to you anymore. How many times has this happened? Two? Three? Four? You keep telling me youâll change, that youâll stop gambling, and every time, I believe you. But look at you! I canât bare you looking like this, you donât listen to me!â
You had mixed feelings during this moment; you didnât want to make him feel worse, he already knew he fucked up, but at the same time he was the real adult, a grown man fifteen years older than you, and you were the one giving him a lesson.
âAnd I suppose you gave them the money I lent you last week?â You were bitter, your voice trembling with anger and pain.
âYes,â he whispered, lowering his head.
â(Y/N), Iâm sorry. I keep thinking I can fix everything, that I can make it all like it was before. But I just keep disappointing you. I disappoint everyoneâmy mom, Seong Ga-yeongâŚâ His voice cracked and he marked a pause.
"Please donât leave me,â he begged, looking at you desperately.
You didnât respond, you were just sick of all his excuses. Instead, you stood up, walked over to him, and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. He clung to you desperately, hugging your thighs, burying his face in your jumper as he sobbed.
You let him cry, his tears soaking your clothes. Your own tears fell silently as you held him close. Your heart broke for him, for everything he had gone through. You hated to see him like this.
And for Gi-Hun, he knew this meant the end. By wanting to fix things he only made it worse, to the point he made the one person who loved him unconditionally leave.
He was right. You finally moved and sat on the kitchen counter. âI canât do this anymore Gi-Hun, I just canât. I tried to help you, to save you, because I know you feel miserable but it started to take a real toll on me!" ... "I think I realized that I couldnât help you if you donât even want to save yourself!â You said now looking resigned.
You words hit him hard, he knew you were right, that you both deserved better.
The silence lingered as you tried to decide whether you should break up with him on the spot, knowing that youâd never get over it and that youâd blame yourself forever for leaving him in that position, or whether you should stay and end up dying of worry and poverty.
âI think it would be better for us not to see each other for a while.â You said, your voice painfully cracking.
âIâm sorry, Gi-hun, I need to think, I need to know if youâre really a lost cause or not. I do love you, more than you can ever imagine, but love is not enough anymore. I want to be able to come home without wondering if youâre dead in a sewer because you owed money to some asshole, you know? I canât keep living like this.â
You were now crying without shame, it was exhausting to feel so useless. And deep down, you knew it wasnât entirely Gi-Hun's fault. He was a sweet, gentle boyfriend who always did everything for you, he made you happy, but he was also an addict, and things had gotten very bad.
He knew that if he kept going you were going to leave him, and it was now happening. âPlease, please, (Y/N)... Iâm so sorry. I never wanted this. I never wanted to make your life harder...â He was pleading, at least fighting for you to stay.
You smiled tenderly at him. âI know youâre sorry. Iâm not mad at you Gi-Hun, I just think itâs better this way for a while.â
Gi-hun had gotten up from his chair, but as you went into your bedroom to pack some things for the night, he sank back down. With his head in his hands, he sat there, watching his life fall apart. He was now losing the love of his life because of his addiction and his inability to change. It felt like he was being brought back to five years ago, when his ex-wife had divorced him for the same reasons.
You finished packing and walked back through the kitchen. Gi-hun sat with his head in his hands, resigned too. He knew the situation wouldnât change unless he did. You put a hand on his shoulder âIâm going to a hotel for the night. Please, take care of yourself, Gi-hun.â Your voice was soft, you were sorry that it had to end like this.
You pressed one last kiss at the back of his head, one that lingered a bit too long and you left your shared apartment. As soon as you stepped outside, you broke down, feeling sick and guilty to your stomach.
You knew this was for your sake, but it didnât make it hurt any less.
Inside, Gi-hun remained seated at the table, still processing what had happened. Silent tears ran down his cheeks as he realized he had lost it allâagain.
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The final blow is delivered in tandem, as always. Clark holds the gravitational core with both hands, containing an explosion that could have folded the city in on itself, while Bruceâmagnetically anchored to a shattered satelliteâinserts the disruptor manually, milliseconds from implosion.
Thereâs no margin for error. There never is when itâs the two of them.
The artifact collapses inward with a dull sound, nonexistent in the vacuum. Space stills. The debris drifts like a metallic cemetery.
Clark exhales first.
Bruce takes a few seconds longer.
They remain suspended in silence, floating among alien junk and stars that are too bright. Clark moves closerâclose enough for Bruce to notice without sensors.
Clark: Are you okay?
The question is automatic. Mission routine. Nothing personal.
Bruce opens his mouth to give the usual answer.
Fine.
Operational.
No structural damage.
But something catches. Like an invisible hook around his chest.
Bruce: No.
The silence that follows is⌠enormous.
Clark blinks. Not because he didnât understand, but because his brain needs an extra second to slot that answer into the right place.
Clark: âŚno?
Bruce closes his eyes. Just for a second. Long enough to know he canât fix it now.
Bruce: Iâm not okay. Iâm tired. My ribs hurt. And I hate fighting intergalactic things that could kill me just by⌠thinking too hard.
Clark doesnât move. Doesnât pull away. Doesnât smile.
Clark: BruceâŚ
The name, said like that, without the suit as a buffer, tightens something behind his sternum.
Bruce: Iâm humanâhe continues, because he canât stop now. And sometimes I forget that matters until Iâm hanging off a broken satellite waiting for something not to explode.
Clark closes the distance completely now. He doesnât touch him. He respects that boundary as if it were sacred.
Clark: Thank you for telling me.
Bruce opens his eyes. Frowns.
Bruce: That wasnât⌠an invitation toâ
Clark: I know.
A few seconds pass. Then a few more. Space doesnât rush anyone.
Clark: Do you want me to take you back? Or would you rather use the Zeta?
Bruce should lie. Say it doesnât matter. That he doesnât need anything.
He canât.
Bruce: You. I hate Zeta beams, anyway.
Clark nods without hesitation.
They donât say anything else. Theyâre a little scared.
I did an ART STUDY of Legoshi from the beastars anime and manga. I just love him, he is such a silly "little" guy and I relate to him a lot personality-wise.
im currently so hyperfixated on nicky that iâm literally thinking about him non stop. i wake up to him and i go to sleep day dreaming about him. hes so complex and i just think its such a shame his character never got the depth it deserved. iâll try to keep this character study as canon as possible.
the thing about nicky hemmick is that i truly believe hes such an emotionally intelligent person and thats why he can craft his persona into a âim so dumb look at meâ type. hear me out. first things first, nicky LOVES andrew more than ANYTHING. he may not like him but he loves him. andrew also LOVES nicky. he may not like him but he loves him. maybe as a possession, maybe as family, who knows. this entire analysis depends on this fact, so im establishing it early.
to talk about nicky, we have to understand andrew first and i cannot see andrew in any other way than a baby who has been hurt so many times, so he holds whats his as tightly as possible so he cant lose them. he loves nicky so fucking much and its evident based on the fact that they dont have a deal. he doesnt need one with nicky to protect him because hes the only one in andrews life that has promised to always stay. thats why he protected nicky at edens. you can argue that andrew always protects the weak, but he beat those men so bad that he was put on psychotic drugs that messed with his brain. the same drugs that could have taken him away from his twin. andrew will âdo the right thingâ so long as his loved ones dont get caught in the crosshairs. aaron is very obviously and apparently affected by andrew beating these men, something i think andrew subconsciously knew was a possibility. andrew wouldnt do something like this for anyone other than family. nicky is his family. his only family. even over aaron. aaron is his blood, his same dna. andrew owes it to him to keep him safe. nicky is just some Guy. some Guy who Promised to keep him safe. who left his everything in another country to come and adopt his cousin and some random kid that looks like his cousin. andrew should mean nothing to nicky but from the moment nicky saw him, he treated andrew like family and at the end of the day, andrew is still just a hurt kid. hes going to take that love, even if its bundled up in mistrust and anticipation of betrayal and disappointment, and hold onto it tight.
nicky might not always understand andrew, especially after andrew got put on drugs, but he loves him all the same. nicky got time to know aaron, but nicky has loved or at least tried to love andrew since the moment he first met him. this is the guy that left his safety net (presumably the person that saved him from extreme depression) in another country (his only escape from the two people who promised to love him but sent him away to get fixed) for two kids he had no responsibility over. he saw two kids that would have to live with the two people that tortured him and sent him to get tortured (we dont know what exactly his conversion therapy was. it couldve been a christian youth camp, or a wilderness camp, or a straight up gay concentration camp. we dont know. and thats horrifying). he knew he couldnt let these kids live with these monsters so he fought these monsters and took these kids in. nicky who presumably had very little money (a 17/18 yo thats cut off from his parents probably having just enough money to gain custody of the twins) buying a house in columbia and raising them all by himself. sure, they were already teens and he probably didnt really parent them or anything and they probably mostly coexisted together but i cant imagine nicky not feeding them or forcing them to feed themselves or making them watch movies or teaching them german. nicky probably needled them until they listened or gave in. does that make him annoying? as FUCK. but it gets the job done. and who cares if youre annoying when dealing with two extremely traumatized boys (one who is probably doping up on drugs left and right and the other who wont talk to anyone or emote).
(also like are we gonna assume that nicky isnt playing exy during this time period?? how does that make sense? hes ends up playing on a class 1 team (the worst one but still) and he keeps up with them. hes not a bad player. theres no way im gonna assume this man cant play or he didnt play during this time period a little bit. where tf else would he learn?? at camp? (now wouldnt that be interesting))
every time andrew got hurt, i can guarantee nicky saw it as his fault. at edens, HE was the one to get attacked and then andrew (the kid he thought barely tolerated him) beat the absolute shit outa these guys to the point where the cops were called and he was placed on trial. and then put on drugs. drugs that in nickys pov made him a threat â a monster. andrew was no longer predictable, he was gone. it was his way or the highway, he didnt care about boundaries, and he would do/say some crazy ass shit. he was terrifying (to everyone other than neil). thats why nicky is so afraid and wary of andrew in the foxhole court. he doesnt know drugged andrew and he barely knows andrew in general. fast forward, thanksgiving. nicky begged neil to convince andrew. and both the twins were hurt. then rehab. yk for the same damn drugs that andrew was on because of him. idr if nicky knows about proust but if he does dear lord. still, needing rehab for a drug that andrew didnt need in the first place? shit man thats gotta hurt.
the thing is i cant imagine the things this man does throughout the series is just because âhes a blabbermouthâ. it doesnt make sense. unfortunately, neil dgaf about aaron so we know so little about his relationship with nicky other than heâs homophobic and technically they are closer than they are to andrew (nicky has known him longer, they take solace in each other when andrew is being a freak, they are both isolated as a result of andrew, nicky introduced aaron to non addictive drugs from his job at sweeties (cracker dust), andrew is so weird that its beyond nicky to understand him whereas aaron comparatively isnt that hard to figure out). but to me ive always seen it as nicky was trying to help andrew THROUGH neil. he didnt know how to get through to him but he figured out immediately that neil did. thats why he spilled everything to him. you can call nicky a blabbermouth all you want but the rest of the foxes knew nicky longer and still didnt know half the shit neil found out from nicky. oh but op, the monsters didnt talk to the other foxes. okay but nicky started spilling shit to neil even before andrew took him in. the moment andrew was interested in neil, nicky knew this guy was different (his âthis child is definitely in danger and needs helpâ senses were tingling, too, probably). nicky probably didnt tell kevin shit either. at least not until andrew practically adopted him. nicky, to me, is very aware of what will benefit him and what wont and thats why he does what he does. hes strategic. its easier to seem like a blabbermouth than it is to ask for help. its easier to cry and worry and be emotional than it is to breakdown every five minutes. its easier to be gay immediately and prominently than it is to be hate crimed after developing a friendship with something. nicky knows what hes doing he just likes to play dumb.
(i fear i cant write this post and not address the weird creepy comments this guy is always making and his non-consensual kissing of neil. again i think its Cope. its much easier to be overly gross about his love for men because people dont try to fix him then. its nasty but its his way of putting his sexuality in the forfront. him kissing neil was fucked. full stop. period. but i think its important to contexuatize it because we contexualize every other character's actions in the book - specifically the shit andrew does. nicky was high on cracker dust, he was given a mission by andrew, and he saw how jumpy neil was right off the bat. nicky is NOT dumb. he knew he would have to do something crazy and unexpected to get neil to consume the drugs because he was obviously paranoid as fuck. nicky did not want to get stabbed by andrew (nicky is also extremely selfish lets keep that in nind) so his main goal was to ge the drug in neils mouth, and if he got to kiss a hot boy? wellt hat was just a plus. i really dont think he realized the implication of his actions. i mean how is kissing someone any worse than drugging them? how do you compare the two? he was already doing dumb immoral stupid shit, what's one more? we can assume that he took care of neil after he knocked himself unconscious because neil wakes up without a shirt/pants (probably because it got wet when he smashed a bottle on his own head) being hugged by nicky. again Weird. but also so nicky. Cope City. someone help this man)
