#character vent

andrew minyard and the art of denying himself (close ups below cut)

➰⚡️: @askfranknfurter, you can’t…ya can’t take these stupid things back, can ya? These arms.

[Curlicue holds up her lower pair of arms and punches them softly against the wall.]

➰⚡️: If you could, then…then maybe I wouldn’t have to live here anymore. Maybe I wouldn’t be a damn detriment who never helps anyone.

➰⚡️: I’m not a real hypnotist. I’m just a sham liar. Farley must hate me. I hate myself. Hell, I feel fuckin’ horrible. Is this how y’all all feel, all the time? How do you cope? How do you live?

➰⚡️: Is it the drugs, the booze, the sex, what? And how do I get on that train without needin’ to get better later on?

➰⚡️: I…I want to stop feeling worthless.

➰⚡️: I want the hurt to go away…

➰⚡️: …!

➰⚡️: … @fmajorenthusiast?

➰⚡️: You there? I wanna…I wanna talk…

Essentially a little journal or diary entry thing for a character. You get to learn more about them and their thought's and feelings! Tell me if you find this concept interesting and I'll do more! -v-'

This one is "written by" sage

dear diary

I only started using this after hearing about it from pure vanilla cookie, he apparently writes in his very own quite alot.

I am not well versed in how this works, apparently it's just. "Write how you feel and how was your day" so I'll do that. I feel. Heartbroken. Sad. Why? I feel so alone in this world. I'm only seen as what I'll become, a cookie who failed himself and the world he loves. A violent deceitful monster who went insane from sheer solitude.

There could be more reasons but I'm not at that point yet. I don't understand why my future self became who he did. Was our life, curated by our dear creator, truly that bad? The recluse makes it seem so, he doesn't trust me whatsoever, he hates me. He only sees me as a monster. It hurts that I Made him that way. I hurt him. I drove him to breaking. How pure vanilla cookie learnt to accept me and understand my pain, offering me his friendship. I'll never know.

But recently I've discovered I have feelings for both pure vanilla cookie's. It's why I feel heartbroken. Seeing how shadow milk cookie is, I don't even think I'll get my happy ending with a loving marriage. Just like the novels I read. I'll be alone and in denial about how I feel forever. That I actually love and care about someone. Because I have to defend my own ego and the fact I believe I don't deserve it. Because of some innate guilt.

I hope maybe it was a heat of the moment statement from the recluse and he's just being protective of his "eggy". But I can't help but feel betrayed and used by someone I thought that was warming up to me as my heart raced for him. I hoped that maybe he could look past who I become and see me as who I am right now. An innocent knowledgeable cookie that strives for happiness and love for all. I share his ideals in life.

My only reason for my sight being set on him is how oddly kind he was to me, so out of character for a cookie that avoids socialisation with one worded answers. Pure vanilla cookie could never be mine, shadow milk cookie is on him and hates my existence, I can't tell if it's from guilt or he just hates me for me.

“I'm such a nobody.”

On a side note: reader when too overwhelmed or not in the mood may get snappy then break down and cry. Then hide away in a room with little to no people to curl up and hide away from the light. Someone probably checks in on them to give them water or to help provide something to hide into. They hate when this happens in front of a group of people, especially a large group