#chapter fifty-three

Amber wasn’t the first to arrive, but she was early enough to park near the beach, not too far away from the reception tent. They headed to the tent first, to see who was there. Amber said she didn’t recognise anyone in there so they continued down to the beach.

They mingled, everyone discussing the wedding and the weather and catching up with people they hadn’t spoken to for a while. Mattie endured some awkward conversations with his old friends from whom he’d grown estranged. He knew there were probably people who saw him and deliberately avoided him. Out of sight, out of mind. And that didn’t really bother him; he was glad he had an excuse for not acknowledging any of them. He hated the stalled and weird conversations he endured and he knew they did, too, probably wishing they’d never come over. He stuck with Amber, Barb, and Barb’s husband, Tom, until Amber informed him that the newlyweds had arrived. Everyone headed up to the tent, where the emcee was introducing the couple.

“Hey!” said Peter, tapping Mattie’s shoulder and giving him a hug. Chloë was right behind him, and she moved in to embrace Mattie.

“You ready to dance?” she asked him.

Mattie shook his head, smiling. “No, I’m not a dancer,” he said. He didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of trying to dance in a group of people. He didn’t even know what the popular dance moves were from the past several years.

“We’ll see,” Chloë teased.

“No, we won’t,” Mattie replied. “But you have fun.” He smiled at her, and felt her touch his arm before she and Peter moved away. He turned to Amber when she bumped his hand, and, taking her elbow, he asked her, “You planning on dancing up a storm?” He followed her until she placed his hand on the back of a chair and he sat down, and Amber put her jacket on the chair beside them.

“Yup, I am. But first I need a drink. Want a beer?”

Mattie nodded. “Yes, please.” He folded his cane, listening to the voices all around him. He guessed the chairs and tables were set around the perimeter of the tent and the middle of the floor was left open for dancing. There was a sound system to his left where he sat. He presumed the deejay was over there as well.

He was happy to hear Christopher Garnet’s voice greet him, and felt the man pat his shoulder. He smiled, standing to say hello to Garnet and his wife. Amber returned shortly with his beer, glad that some of Mattie’s friends had arrived.

The deejay invited the newlyweds up to the dance floor to have their first dance together, and Mattie instantly recognised Michael Bublé’s Everything. Chloë wanted something upbeat, something that exemplified their relationship, and Everything seemed to sum up how Peter felt about her.

“They’re giggling and talking,” Amber whispered to Mattie.

“Are they dancing?” Mattie asked, puzzled.

“Yup, they’re totally dancing. Peter isn’t even tripping over his feet or her dress. She has it bustled up.” She looked at Mattie. “Did anyone tell you what she looks like today?”

Mattie’s mouth turned upward, but the smile didn’t reach the rest of his face. “No. I mean, they all said she looked beautiful, but I know that already.” He shrugged.

Amber glanced at Chloë in her husband’s arms, smiling so warmly, her face twinkling as she gazed at Peter. She decided that she wouldn’t get overly-detailed, but she described their friend’s appearance in her beautiful dress, including how gorgeous her auburn hair looked, loosely swept off her neck, and the glow on her face.

Mattie didn’t reply, but Amber could tell that he was dreaming in his own imagination. His face had relaxed and his smile was more genuine when he nodded to her.

The bride next danced with her father, and Peter soon joined with his mother. Amber, as alone as her brother, gave Mattie a visual commentary as the dances continued.

“Here comes Clo,” Amber told Mattie after several songs.

Mattie sat, waiting, not seeing Chloë’s hand reaching out in front of him. Chloë smiled and leaned down.

“Xav? Come dance with me. You delivered my husband to me safely, I want to have this dance with you and thank you.”

“Oh, uh, Clo, you can just thank me.” He tried to joke and shrug off the idea.

She squatted down in front of him, her skirts billowing out around her hips. “Please, come dance with me. I won’t let anything happen, I promise. It’ll just be you and me.”

“I don’t want to embarrass us,” he said, a little more seriously, hoping she gave up. He felt Amber take the cane from his lap, and the bottle from his hand. “Really. I’m not a dancer.”

It didn’t deter her. He felt her take his hands and pull him to his feet. He tried to protest but this was Chloë, and he knew he couldn’t turn her down at her own wedding. He was the best man, and he wanted to feel the honour of a dance with the bride. So he gave in and let her lead him out onto the open space.

She nudged his hand to her waist and took the other up in her own. “You can do this,” she said, very cheerfully, adding that she wouldn’t let him run into anything at all.

“Does that mean you’re the one leading?” he asked, trying to follow her steps. She wasn’t attempting anything radical, just swaying and turning some, keeping it simple.

She smiled up at him. “Thank you for being with us today,” she said. “It means so much to Peter to have you standing by him.”

“I wouldn’t have missed this,” he said. “I’m really just so happy that he found you.” He turned his head a little. “Does he look jealous?”

“He’s got a big, goofy grin on his face.”

“I remember that one,” Mattie said.

“Yeah? Well, he’s got it now. And I think you’re a better dancer than you say.”

“I haven’t danced... since... I guess since before the accident.”

“It’s like riding a bike, which I’ve heard you do exceptionally well.”

Mattie smiled, closing his eyes, listening to his surroundings. He let Chloë lead them and as promised, Mattie didn’t run into anyone or trip over a chair or someone’s foot. He was grateful to her, and he was glad she insisted that he dance with the bride. He felt proud that the bride wanted to dance with him.

Amber sat back, watching Chloë smiling at her brother, making him feel at ease, distracting him with light conversation. Mattie had the most wonderful people in his life, thought Amber. They lifted him, carried him, and laughed with him. He was always included, and though sometimes he was reluctant or afraid to participate, they never left him behind. She watched him laugh at something Chloë had said, her own face sparkling from the excitement of the day. People had joined them on the dance floor, but everyone was careful to not get too close to the bride and the best man sharing the moment together. The dancers were giving them lots of room, but also smiling at the couple moving slowly around the open space. The people watching from the sidelines also watched the bride and best man dance gracefully together, and smiled, enjoying the love the newlyweds shared with their special group of friends.

Peter sidled up to Amber and sat down on Mattie’s chair.

“I’m keeping my eye on your brother,” he said. “That’s my wife he has his hands on.”

Amber smiled. “They look great out there,” she said. “I’m glad she convinced him. I couldn’t have.”

“She’s pretty persuasive,” Peter said.

“You guys are going to have such an amazing honeymoon. I can’t wait to hear about it. Are you going to Québec City? And Niagara?”

“On the agenda,” Peter replied. He watched his bride thank her dance partner and guide him back toward his seat. He stood, smiling as they approached, his hand sliding around Chloé’s waist as she placed Mattie’s hand on his chair.

“He’s a better dancer than he lets on,” Chloë told Amber.

“Well, now it’s my turn,” Peter said, winking at Amber and whisking his new wife back to the dance floor.

After a while, people began to migrate out of the tent toward the beach, though many stayed to keep on dancing. Mattie went with Christopher, who carried his own and Mattie’s beer bottles, and they headed down the path to the beach.

They greeted the voices as they approached them. The chairs Mattie and Peter had brought down were already filled. It sounded to Mattie like Andrew and some others were going to light the bonfire.

“You wanna sit down?”

“Yeah, let’s see how this bonfire lights. I built it,” boasted Mattie, folding his cane and lowering himself to the sand beside Garnet.

“Here, Matt,” said a voice ahead of him. “Take this chair.”

“Aren’t you sitting there?” Mattie asked, putting the cane beside him.

“No, I don’t mind, you can have it.”

Mattie shook his head. They didn’t offer a chair to Garnet. “No; Thanks, though. I’m just fine here on the sand.”

“Y’sure?” asked the voice.

Mattie nodded his head. “Yup, I’m fine.” He didn’t like this kind of special treatment. It was one thing to have someone give him an arm or some direction, or put something directly in his hand. It was much different to be offered a chair because someone thought he was too crippled to be able to sit on the ground.

“I think Kayla and Paul and Shannon are all going to go swimming,” said another voice.

“They’re crazy, it’s not warm enough yet,” said another voice.

“I’ll probably try it,” said yet another voice to Mattie’s right. He wasn’t sure who any of the voices belonged to, but the last one sounded familiar, at least.

“Brrr,” said the second voice. “You’re nuts.”

“Well, I’ll wait until someone else goes in first, just to see for sure.”

Christopher turned to Mattie. “You gonna go swimming, Dude?”

Mattie shook his head, his expression clearly giving away how insane Garnet’s question was to him. He furrowed his brows, asking, “Are you?”

“Nah. I’ll wait for another month,” Christopher said. “And then it will be in a pool.”

“Amateur,” Mattie said with a smile.

Mattie was grateful for Garnet’s company. Neighbours were reluctant to come talk to him, and the ones who did spoke in platitudes. Mattie was pleased when Peter’s parents stopped to say hello. He stood up to give Peter’s mother a hug and to shake his father’s hand.

“I’m glad Chloë wants to move out to this place,” Mrs. Leighny said. “It’s a beautiful property. He lucked out when he got it.”

Mattie nodded. “He was a sweet talker when he decided this place was going to be his.”

“He’s definitely got that technique down,” Mrs. Leighny said.

“I taught him everything he knows,” said Mr. Leighny and they laughed, knowing that was probably true.

Once they had moved off, Mattie sat back down again, and Christopher gave him another briefing on the scene around him. One of Peter’s university friends had stopped down on the beach, approaching Mattie cautiously. Garnet nodded at him.

“Nice night,” Garnet said, his voice aimed outward, a little more formal, prompting the man to speak so Mattie would know someone was there.

“Yeah, it is a perfect night,” said the man.

Mattie turned his head a smiled politely.

“Hey, Xav,” said the man.

Mattie furrowed his brows. “Hey...” he said.

“It’s... uh, it’s Tucker... from Trafalgar?”

Recognition crossed Mattie’s face, and he put up his hand. “Hey, Tucker! Holy shit, you came over for Pete, that’s great.”

The other man shook Mattie’s hand. “Hey, yeah, got the invitation, could not let this day go by. I can’t believe someone actually can put up with him,” the man said good-naturedly. “Good for him,” he added. “She’s not lost in the looks department, either, is she?” he said, but the smile fell off his face as he said it. “Oh, uh. I mean...”

Mattie nodded, still smiling. “No, I know, he won the prize with Clo, he really did. So, are you still with the marine bio lab in Dartmouth?”

“Yeah, still there.”

“Married?”

“Yes, married and I have two kids.”

Mattie grinned. “Aw, beautiful, Man,” he said.

“Jeez, Xav, what about you? I didn’t know about your accident, I’m sorry, Dude. I can’t believe it.” He shook his head. “I can’t imagine how rough it’s been.”

Mattie tipped his head. “It was rough for a while, yeah, but things are good now, Man. Life goes on.”

Tucker shook his head again. “Jeez,” he repeated.

Mattie shifted uncomfortably. Some people almost gave off the vibe that it would better to be dead than to go blind. “I’m still teaching in the English department in the city,” he told Tucker. “I’m teaching literature and creative writing.”

“You are?” said Tucker. “Now?”

“Well, no, I’m on summer hiatus,” Mattie said. “But, yeah.”

“No shit! I’m... good for you, Xav.”

“Well, if it was long-distance truck driving, I’d probably be out of a job, but you don’t need to see to teach.”

“Well, I suppose not. Do they try to get away with shit all the time?”

Mattie grinned. “Yeah. Wouldn’t you?”

Mattie could hear, as the evening progressed, that some of the guests were slightly more intoxicated than others. And when Peter and Chloë came around to thank the guests and say goodbye before they left on their honeymoon, Mattie could tell that Chloë was one of the more intoxicated.

She hugged Mattie, and thanked him profusely for being there. Peter, chuckling, pulled her gently off him.

“Come on, Hun, you can maul Xav later, he’ll still be around,” Peter said, winking at Xav before he remembered that went unnoticed.

“She’s been enjoying the night,” Mattie surmised.

“She’s been dancing the night away,” Peter informed him. “But I think we’re ready to head out, right, Babe?”

“I could dance all night,” Chloë told Mattie.

“I know you could,” Mattie said with a grin. “You’re a great dancer.”

“So are you, Xav,” she said, and Mattie could hear both a champagne-slur and a smile in her words. “Y’should dance more offen, I love t’see you dance. I know! I know, me and Pete will have a party when we come back an’ we can have a dance! Yeah?”

Mattie and Peter both broke out into laughter, but tried to cover it, which wasn’t hard when Chloë was just so happy. It was her day, for certain.

Peter pulled his bride back again into the crook of his arm. “I think we can work on that later, Hun, we should probably just get you home.”

Chloë made a loud noise of disappointment but she gave Mattie one last hug and then tucked herself back into her husband’s arms.

“We’ll see you before we go,” Peter told Mattie. “Enjoy the rest of the party, Buddy.”

Mattie stayed on the beach, not wanting to tempt fate by going anywhere near the dance floor. Christine came down to see who was swimming and saw him sitting on the sand. There were three of Chloë’s friends sitting in the Adirondack chairs nearby, but Mattie just sat alone, listening.

Christine thought Mattie was cute. Chloë had suggested she date Mattie a while back. But Christine told her she wasn’t attracted to Mattie. That hadn’t been exactly true, but she didn’t want to come off as that shallow. When she saw him on the beach, she had a fleeting moment of indecision, before knowing it wasn’t something she could do to him.

Mattie heard footsteps in the sand approach and then stop. He turned his head, but the footsteps moved away. He turned back, listening to the voices laughing and calling from the water.

“I was wondering where you went,” Amber said, coming toward him.

“I’ve just been here,” Mattie said. “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah, you should have come up to dance.”

“I’m not a dancer,” Mattie said for the twentieth time of the night.

“You didn’t go in swimming?”

“Too cold,” said Mattie. “They’re having fun, though, how many of them are in there now?”

“I think,” said Amber, squinting down at the dark water, “there are maybe six.”

Mattie nodded.

“You could have danced with Christine. Or Lyndsay Morgan. You could have the pick of the dance floor.”

Mattie didn’t reply.

“You don’t even want to try anymore, do you?”

Mattie sighed. “No,” he said. “I don’t. I’ve pretty much faced the fact that this isn’t going to happen for me, and I don’t want to waste time hoping for something. It’s like hoping to see one day, it’s just going to make me dislike my life as it is.”

“You’re closing doors that don’t need closing. You only have two eyes, but there are millions of girls out there.”

“So what, so I can disappoint her by not gasping in pride and joy as she walks the aisle toward me?”

Amber shook her head. “You really think that is a deal-breaker?”

“I’m the deal-breaker.”

“Oh, stop your wallowing. Come up and visit with people.”

“I was visiting with people, but they all left,” Mattie said, not knowing why he was being so snarky to her.

“It must be your positive, winning attitude,” Amber muttered, getting to her feet.

Mattie frowned but then he reached his right hand out to try and catch her before she walked away. She saw his hand reaching and stopped, saying nothing.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I think I’m just tired now.” He pushed up his sleeve off his wrist and popped the crystal on his watch. Eleven-twenty.

“Fire’s almost died down, we can head out, if you want. Andrew is taking care of everything here, so we don’t need to stay.”

“Yeah,” said Mattie but he didn’t move.

Amber stepped to him and nudged him gently with her knee. “Come on, Bro. Last chance to go swimming.”

He shook his head. He didn’t want to go swimming, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to call it a night without anything memorable happening. Despite what he’d told Amber, he’d let his imagination delve into the daydream that he would end up chatting all night with some fascinating wedding attendant. Reality set in the longer the night went on.

“Come on, let’s go say good night to everyone. And maybe one last dance.”

Amber didn’t miss the look her brother shot her, but she leaned down and gave him her arm to follow as he got to his feet.

Back at the tent, they stayed for another forty-five minutes, and Amber did not mention dancing at all. Mattie had cheered up again, and was talking to Peter’s sister and her husband animatedly when Amber came over for him.

“Hey, Xav, ready to go?”

Mattie was ready, he realised as soon as he sat down in Amber’s car. He was exhausted. The night before and the day’s excitement all had taken their toll on him.

“I didn’t mean to be a wet blanket,” Mattie said.

“You weren’t a wet blanket,” she assured him. “You just had a moment. You had fun, I saw you having fun.”

“I had fun. Yes, I did, it was a great time. I got to see a lot of people I haven’t talked to in a long time,” he told her. “And Garnet and I had a good laugh. And I danced with Clo.”

“That was lovely,” Amber said. “She was really happy you did that, you know.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. She wanted to include you in things that you would remember as much as she did. She said she wanted you to participate in the day and not just stand by. I’m glad you didn’t turn her down.”

Mattie nodded, thinking. “I have to remember outside my own head,” he mumbled, mostly to himself.

“What do you mean?” Amber asked him.

“Oh, uh,” Mattie sighed. “I get caught up with things in my own head because... I don’t see what’s happening out there. You know? I don’t see people’s expressions, I don’t see what’s going on between people, and so I kind of focus more on myself, just out of...” He trailed off. He did do that, he knew it as he said it. “I don’t mean to,” he said. “I’m self-absorbed by default. I’m sorry that I bring everything to myself. I don’t mean to,” he said again.

Amber understood. Mattie couldn’t experience by watching. He could only experience by actually being involved. And if something wasn’t directly involving him, including him, letting him experience it by his own body, he couldn’t be a part of it. It excluded him. People didn’t mean to exclude him, and he didn’t mean to focus more on himself. It was just the nature of everything.

“You didn’t think of yourself at all, Xav,” Amber told him. “You bit your fear down and you made a bride happy to include her husband’s best friend in the happiest night of her life.”

“She made my best friend happier than I’ve ever known him to be,” he said. “I’d do anything for her.”

“My point is proven,” Amber said, pulling into his driveway.

“Here’s your mail, Xav!” Amber called out from the back door.

Mattie was in the study, and he came out to meet her, his hand coming in contact with a sheath of envelopes and paper.

“A phone bill, three flyers, an offer for a No Annual Fee Mastercard, and an actual letter. Who writes you an actual letter?”

Mattie’s eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t know, does it have a return address?”

“Nope. City post office stamp, though.” She followed her brother to the kitchen, where he sat at the table.

“Open it,” he said.

“You sure?” she asked. “You don’t have a secret admirer that you’d rather keep secret?”

He shook his head. “It might be from the university,” he said. “Is my address handwritten?”

“Yes. Okay, opening it.”

Mattie folded his hands on the table and waited as she pulled the paper from the envelope and unfolded it. He knew she scanned the beginning before she started, but thankfully she skipped back and started reading it aloud for him quickly, before she knew before he did what the letter contained.

Dear Professor MacTavish,

I am not sure how to begin, so I will introduce myself, and ask you to forgive me if I am intruding into your life. I respect your privacy, and should you wish to stop reading right now, I understand. You may have chosen to put everything behind you, but I really wanted you to know how grateful I am to you.

My name is Wendy Collinger. Travis Collinger is my son. I am not exaggerating when I tell you you saved his life. I know he changed your life grievously, but you have changed his life for the better, and as his mother, you have mended my heart and made me understand that people deserve a second chance and can change.

Travis was a great kid, until he got to high school and his father and I divorced. He began hanging out with the wrong crowd and started drinking alcohol. I supported him and got him through school, but I had to kick him out of our home for several months because his attitude was not what I wanted around my other son. I thought he’d changed when he decided to go back to school, but I found out he’d lied and had not applied. He had been going up to visit his friends for the first weeks of the school year, and had stolen drugs from one of them. I fear he was well on the way to drug addiction as well as alcoholism. I fear that if drinking didn’t kill him, some sort of violence would have. He was never a violent boy, but drinking changed him.

He took away your precious sight and the life you had. I am eternally sorry for this, as he was my son, I raised him, and this is how he turned out. I cannot condone his behaviour. I know it will never change your life back or give you your sight. But I know that you saved his life in more than one way. You saved it because he would have kept drinking and driving until he killed himself, or some child. Or a whole family. You stopped this, unwillingly, of course, by becoming his victim yourself. You did not die, thank God, though the pain you have suffered is unimaginable to me. I am so sorry for this. I was so angry with him. But I also have another chance to see my son change. He did not die.

I also wished he’d been given a stricter sentence at the time he was sent to prison. I thought he was let off too easily for what he had done to you and your family. I didn’t want the responsibility of him when he was released. I felt guilt and shame for my son.

However, his release was actually for the best, because soon after, he heard from you. He was terrified of confronting you. He had become extremely remorseful in prison, seeing what life was ahead of him, realising what he’d traded for it. He talked about you often. He wanted to find out about your recovery. When you contacted him, he was anxious and depressed, and I fear he was suicidal. He was unable to get past what he had done. Your meeting with him took a huge weight from him, I could see it immediately. He began talking about school again, he spoke of talking to kids about the repercussions of drinking and driving. He wanted to stop what had happened from happening with anyone else. He became very adamant about alcohol. He has not touched a drop since returning home. He’s been asked to speak at a dozen schools and two universities, and the experience has inspired him to keep at it. He wants to get his license back so that he can become the designated driver for all his friends. And he’s going back to school in the fall. Your return to your job and your determination to get your life back inspired him to make his own way and do the best he can with what he has. Your forgiveness gave him the initiative to move forward. He wanted to make it up to you but the only way he could do it was to change the mindset of the next generations. He said you taught many of them, and he wanted his part in teaching them how to be better people.

I am proud of him now. None of this would have happened without you. We pulled you into our life without your permission, and you have given us all a second chance. I am eternally grateful to you, and your incredible ability to forgive. If there is anything ever that I can do for you, do not hesitate to call on me. I know you may never want to have contact with Travis, but please know that the impact that you have had on him has been overwhelmingly positive. I have my son back.

I fervently hope your life is a good one, and that your strength and your heart have taken you to wonderful places that give you joy. Travis told me you have gone back to teaching at university and that you have made an incredible recovery and you are overcoming stereotypes left and right. I hope this is so. You have made an incredible impact on my son, his brother, and myself, and you deserve all the happiness in your future.

Please accept my sincerest best wishes, and my eternal thank-you for saving my son’s life. You have given a mother back her heart, and your gift will never be forgotten.

Gratefully and eternally yours,

Wendy Collinger

Amber looked up from the page, which had grown blurry through the tears swimming in her eyes. Mattie sat, his head bowed, his eyes closed. She couldn’t read his expression, and she wiped at her eyes with a sleeve to see if that helped. Mattie said nothing.

“You saved his life,” she whispered. She’d never let herself think about the drunk driver’s life, his family, and what he’d lost through that same accident that nearly took her brother. She didn’t want to empathise with him, she wanted to think of him as a monster, as a stupid, selfish, overgrown child with no respect for anyone but himself. She didn’t want to think about the mother that had raised him, that she could be a kind, loving mother that despaired what had happened to her son, and wondered what she could have done to change the outcome, grieving over the life he had had and lost.

He shook his head. “He saved his own life,” he said. “He was the one who decided to speak out. He was the one that decided to keep going. He had to make the same decision I did.”

“You went to see him,” Amber said softly. “I was so angry about that, Xav. Geez, I wanted to hit you, I wanted to go hit him, and hard. And yet, you went, and you forgave him. Who knows how many lives you saved by forgiving him, Xav? All those kids he went to speak to? The impact you had on him spread everywhere. Who knows how many of those kids will remember his words, his regret, and stop before they drink and get behind the wheel?”

Mattie knew the gravity of what she was saying but he didn’t want to let himself think too hard on it, because he could feel the emotion in his throat already threatening to escape.

“You’re amazing,” Amber whispered, in awe of what her brother was capable of. She knew he was overwhelmed, because he didn’t reply to deny or confirm her words. The letter had affected him too much for him to be able to react right away. Amber reached out and put her hands over his, still folded in front of his bowed head. They sat like that for several minutes.

Finally, Mattie raised his face and opened his eyes. Amber saw they were glassy as her own. She patted his hands and stood up, wiping the last tear away with her sleeve. “Okay, you want tea? I’ll make us some,” she said, willing her voice to sound normal. “I was kinda thinking of hitting the movies tonight. Whaddaya say?”

Mattie smiled at his sister. “Yeah.” He nodded.

She smiled back. “Cool,” she said.

Summer rolled out, and Mattie had to train himself to actually relax and enjoy his vacation. He often sat out on the verandah and “listened to the sun come up”, as he referred to it. Amber learned what he meant one morning when she came over to join him.

“Close your eyes,” he instructed to her at one point, and when she did, she heard how the birds gently began a chorus, just one at first, that grew as the sun came closer to the horizon. He had no trouble convincing her he could tell time from bird calls after she witnessed morning with him three times. Some birds began earlier than other, and other species of birds joined in later. He could also feel the air change, he said. Almost like he could feel the sun warm everything it beamed through. She knew he was less accurate with this method, but there were times that she, too, felt the air change the instant the sun burst over the horizon.

He missed Pete, but they called him a few times from different places. Christopher Garnet and James Howes came out a few times, and took him out for some beers. He went to Craig’s gym several times, and he worked on keeping his body strong as he let his mind wander over the summer months. He spent much of his time out on his veranda with his laptop and Notetaker. The students in his creative writing class had gotten together and thanked their professor for his genuine love of teaching with a gift of a speaker dock for his phone, and once Mattie figured out how to work the buttons, he loved that he could take music outside but not need to wear earphones for it to sound good.

It was a creative time for him. He was feeling open and comfortable and content. The weather was warm and sunny, and when it rained, it only lasted a day or two and was done for a week or more. Amber helped Mattie with his herb garden, and she planted some flowers around his house, too. The perennials bloomed and Amber gave him a scent tour, showing him what was growing around his property. He smelled the blossoms and touched the petals and stems, learning the tiny differences under his fingers that went with each scent. He took these tiny details and let them inspire the descriptive style of his writing. He didn’t let Amber, or anyone, read any of the work he did that summer, but it flowed from his imagination and onto his hard drive, where, when he went back to read it, it seemed to sweeten over time.

Mattie looked forward to the rest of the summer with content interest. His creativity excited him. He had a supply of books in Braille from the CNIB library and he looked forward to beautiful leisurely reading over the next several weeks. Words would inspire words, he told himself, giving himself permission to read for pleasure, though he didn’t need to read for inspiration. He was filling kilobytes with a strong current of creativity.