#cerclage

Our story of loss, hope and happiness

I haven’t told the whole story in years. I’ve somehow managed to split the journey in two – the dark period before Margs and the happy period after. There was just so much awful stuff before baby girl that on some level I needed to make that distinction so that I didn’t have to continue facing the details of what exactly happened to us and how ridiculously difficult and unfair our journey to…

The story: our story of loss, hope and happiness

I haven’t told the whole story in years. I’ve somehow managed to split the journey in two – the dark period before Margs and the happy period after. There was just so much awful stuff before baby girl that on some level I needed to make that distinction so that I didn’t have to continue facing the details of what exactly happened to us and how ridiculously difficult and unfair our journey to…

A Week Before Receiving the Stitch (McDonald Cerclage)

The week leading up to the out patient procedure of receiving a stitch to close the bottom of my cervix was exciting but also a little scary. I asked a few of my closest friends to host a “prayer shower” for me. To pray over the procedure, the pregnancy, the length of my cervix, my anxiety, etc. That prayer shower was probably one of the best things that I could have ever received. The people that showed up and covered me in prayer encouraged me so much. They spoke life and truth into existence and it was so powerful that I left feeling a supernatural peace and joy about the procedure that would happen in a few days. 

The Day of the Procedure

August 29, 2016 - we were told that we were supposed to arrive at 6 a.m. to the outpatient surgical building across from the hospital. We pull into the parking lot and Christian turns the vehicle off. He grabs my hand and begins praying over me and the procedure. After we pray, we head into the building, check in, sign paperwork, and speak to someone who handles insurance. Everything is going smoothly so far. We sit in the waiting room for a short amount of time before a nurse calls my name to start prepping me for the procedure. The nurse is so kind and soft spoken. She begins to ask me about my past pregnancies which I tell her about our first miscarriage and then the birth/death of our son, Isaiah. Immediately she gives her condolences but then goes on to say how strong I am at such a young age. I instantly point it all back to Jesus because in all honesty, I AM NOT STRONG WITHOUT JESUS. She goes on to say how that is completely true. That we all need Jesus. In that moment, I felt myself relax some more because I knew that this nurse was specifically put into my pre-op care for a reason.

She finished all of the preparations for the procedure and then Christian and our pastor push past the curtain to my area. Our pastor talks with us a bit and then prays over the procedure and the baby. After praying, he leaves Christian and I in the room alone. Having my husband there before the operation was such a blessing because we were able to have time to just sit and hangout with one another. He sat next to me holding my hand completely silent. In that moment, I knew that we both felt such peace about this procedure and the promises that Jesus has given us. 

About 10 minute later, my doctor comes by to ask how I’m doing and double checks everything. He finishes up some paperwork and then tells the nurse that he is all ready to begin the procedure. The nurse tells us that Christian will need to say his goodbyes and head back to the waiting room because they will be taking me back to the OR (operating room). He looks at me so hopeful and I know that everything is going to be alright. The nurse grabs the bed and takes me into double doors which lead into the OR. 

As soon as we enter into the OR, I begin to get chills all over my body because of how cold it is. I mean, I know it has to be cold for sterile reasons but this was COLD. The OR is filled with large equipment, machines, over sized lights, and another bed for me to transfer to. They pull my bed up next to the other one and help me transfer myself to the other bed. I have 3 people around me, one telling me that I will feel a little sting and coldness while the other two are making sure that I am covered completely because they must know that the thin little white sheet that was currently on me was not enough to keep anyone warm in that room. One of the ladies in the OR puts a breathing mask on me and tells me that it is “fresh air”. She tells me to take deep breaths and after about 4, I don’t remember anything after that. 

The next thing I know, I am waking up in the room that I all of my pre-op care in. I look around and no one is to be found. I close my eyes again to get some rest since I was still a little groggy. Another 5 minutes goes by and a nurse comes in to check on me. I wake up and she completes some tests to make sure that everything is going smoothly after the operation. She leaves but quickly returns with my husband. He sits next to me and asks how I’m feeling along with all of the normal questions that someone asks when they are genuinely concerned. In all honesty, I was feeling fine but I feel like I was only asleep for 5 minutes. Christian tells me that my doctor talked to him about my procedure on his way out of the building. He told Christian that everything went very smoothly, my stitch was placed really high, and that my cervix looked great. Altogether, the procedure lasted about 15 minutes. It was extremely quick. 

The recovery time for this procedure was pretty simple. I spotted for about 24 hours which is completely normal. I was placed on bed rest for a week but since I was already a stay at home wife, it was pretty easy to do moderate bed rest for the next few weeks. Netflix was definitely helpful. Haha

We had a meal train going around for us which was so sweet and helpful. People came by to keep us company and the food was delicious! If you ever want to serve someone who is going through a difficult time, meals are a lifesaver! www.takethemameal.com

There comes a point in a person’s life where they have to choose to either accept the hand that is given to them or reject it. In my case, I chose to accept. Now, that doesn’t mean that it was all rainbows and sunshine because believe me, there were definitely days when it was dark and cloudy. You just have to either push through those days or allow them to dominate you.

Six months after losing our son, Isaiah, we got pregnant. We were thrilled, yet there was a little bit of fear that entered into our hearts. Well, mainly my heart. I found comfort in knowing that we had a plan already in place for this pregnancy so that we could get to full term, however I was still nervous for what was to come. 

The First Trimester

After finding out that we were pregnant, I gave it about a week before calling my MFM (Maternal Fetal Medicine) specialist to schedule an appointment. I was expecting a confirmation appointment around 6 weeks but they said that they take the home pregnancy tests as enough confirmation so I scheduled my first ultrasound in July when I would be around 9 weeks. 

Every day leading up to the appointment felt like a blur. Physically, I was feeling great. No morning sickness or anything that usually comes with pregnancy for most people. I was thrilled because everything was going smoothly just like when I was pregnant with Isaiah, but there was always this deep fear that I felt. I was terrified of getting attached to this baby. I was scared that as soon as I got attached, something terrible would happen. I was afraid that something would go wrong as soon as I started to get too excited about the pregnancy. So I figured that being detached and waiting to announce our pregnancy to our extended family and friends would be the best option. (side note: it’s not that I wasn’t grateful for this pregnancy because I was. But when you watch your child take their last breath in your arms, it’s one of those moments that stays with you forever. I just didn’t want to get too excited only for something bad to happen)

The day of our first ultrasound finally came. We walked into the building, looked at the directory, and headed up to the 2nd floor. As we were walking down the hallway, Christian and I gave each other this look and we both knew that we needed to step to the side of the hall and pray. Pray for peace, comfort, good results, for our child’s health, for the staff that we would be interacting with, and for our hearts. That we would stand firm in our faith no matter what results we got because we knew that God had a plan regardless if we could see it or not. 

After praying, we walk quietly to the large, maple wood doors that are on the left of the hallway. Christian opens one of the doors for me to enter, and I suddenly feel this supernatural peace. After we check in, we sit in the medium size waiting room. There are people of all different ages, races, and backgrounds sitting in the chairs. I look at each woman and all I can think of is Have they ever lost a child? Is this their pregnancy after a loss? They have no idea what I have gone through, and I have no idea what their stories are. A nurse calls my name which breaks me from my thoughts. We get up and follow her down a small hallway leading to ultrasound rooms. I give a urine sample, she takes my blood pressure, and then we head to the ultrasound room. She prepares me for the ultrasound while an ultrasound technician prepares the equipment. When the ultrasound technician begins the ultrasound, my heart immediately stops. All I want to know is if there is a heartbeat. She quickly finds the heart and when the sound of the heartbeat fills the room, I find myself finally taking a breath. I immediately start to tear up because that heartbeat gave me so much peace and comfort. It’s as if a heavy weight was lifted off of my shoulders. My doctor comes in shortly after and begins to check everything himself. He measures the baby, checks the heartbeat, checks the length of my cervix and tells me that everything looks good. According to the measurements of the baby, the due date is March 4, 2017. He goes on to tell me what the next steps will be in this pregnancy. First, a cerclage at 13 weeks (Aug 29th) and then progesterone shots between 16-17 weeks. 

As Christian and I were leaving the office, we both had a sense of peace. It seemed as if this pregnancy was going to be the one that would make it to 37+ weeks. This gave us so much hope. Our God was placing the right medical staff to help us go to full term. A medical staff whom we felt comfortable with and felt as if they were going to be honest with us every step of the way. We knew that our God would not leave us or forsake us during this pregnancy and that he would continue to guide our steps. 

We both found ourselves reverting back to the scripture that kept coming up in Isaiah’s pregnancy. 

Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” 

If you’re reading this and have no idea what an Incompetent Cervix is, don’t worry. I didn’t know what it was until I experienced it first hand. 

Defining Incompetent Cervix (IC) 

Incompetent Cervix or also known as Cervical Insufficiency is a condition that occurs when weak cervical tissue causes or contributes to premature birth or the loss of an otherwise healthy pregnancy.

The cervix on the left is considered to be a normal cervix while the cervix on the right is considered to be an incompetent cervix because it is open.

When the cervix opens, this can cause premature labor because the cervix begins to dilate without the mother even knowing. It is essentially why many women lose their babies. They have no idea they are dilating because it is usually painless until it is considered too late. Some lucky mothers go in for routine checks just in time to save the baby by performing an emergency cerclage (sutures) to close the cervix. 

Preventative Measures

There are many preventative measures that may be taken in order to bring a baby safely into the world. 

First, let me just show you a picture of the different cerclages that can be placed in order to prevent premature labor. 

The highest one is known as a Trans-Abdominal Cerclage (TAC). This one can be placed before conception or it can be placed at the end of the first trimester or the beginning of the second trimester using general or spinal anesthesia. The TAC has a success rate of over 90%. Mothers who decide to take the route of a TAC usually have had a failed trans-vaginal cerclage in the past. With a TAC, doctors have to perform a cesarean.

The second one down is known as the Trans-Vaginal Cervicoisthmic Cerclage (TVCIC). This cerclage is the highest placed trans-vaginal cerclage. This one is only placed by a few doctors in the United States and proves to be very successful. Doctors place this cerclage around 11-15 weeks. Around 36-37 weeks, the doctor will remove the cerclage by using either general or spinal anesthesia in an operating room. This allows the mother to have a vaginal delivery.

The third one down is known as the shirodkar cerclage which is a transvaginal cerclage. This type of cerclage is less common and technically more difficult than a McDonald. It is also thought (though not proven) to reduce the risk of infection. Doctor’s place this cerclage between 11-15 weeks. This cerclage has an 80% success rate. The Shirodkar cerclage is taken out around 36-37 weeks but is usually taken out under general or spinal anesthesia in an operating room. This allows the mother to have a vaginal delivery.

The last one is known as the McDonald trans-vaginal cerclage. This is the most commonly used cerclage that is placed to hold the cervix closed. Doctor’s place this cerclage between 11-15 weeks under general or spinal anesthesia. This cerclage has an 80% success rate and is removed around 36-37 weeks. Doctors typically remove the cerclage in the office without any pain medication but if the cerclage is difficult to remove or the patient is in too much pain then it will be removed under general or spinal anesthesia in the operating room. This cerclage may also be placed during emergency situations such as the cervix dilating before 24 weeks.

These are the different preventative measures to help women bring their babies safely into the world. There are other issues that may occur but those can be saved for another day. 

Revisiting Kon Mari a Year Later.

Have you read Kon Mari? I’m sure most people who get here from visiting the #minimalism tag will know all about The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. If not, the book basically describes Kon Mari’s method of tidying which is built on the premise that items that bring you joy remain while all the rest are discarded. It’s essentially a how-to guide for decluttering and organizing your home. I…