#cazriel

“She’d have an easier time sleeping if she’d just come here,” he sighs helplessly, eliciting an echoing sigh from Azriel. 

“We have to give her time, Cass. This has to be her choice,” Azriel murmurs, feeling just as helpless as Cassian but being far more practiced in the art of self restraint. 

“She’s struggling,” Cassian mutters near petulantly. 

“C’mere.”

Cassian shifts over from his side of the bed and—though he’s bigger than Azriel—manages to tuck himself into the Shadowsinger’s side. 

The two of them breathe the other in until the cadence of their hearts and lungs begin to synchronize. 

And then, the still, silent room is interrupted by a knock at the door. 

A knock so quiet, so tentative, that the males may not have heard it had they been asleep or doing much more than breathing. 

Our mate, Azriel’s shadows supply, seeing the Spymaster remove himself from his Illyrian mate to answer the door. 

You stand there with palpable trepidation in a matching set of sleep shorts and t-shirt, wringing your hands together as you try (and fail) to meet his gaze. 

Cassian murmurs your name as he appears behind Azriel and places a gentle hand to the Shadowsinger’s waist; touch tentative as though warring over whether to depend on Azriel’s stability or shove him aside and pull you in. 

“Are you alright?” Azriel asks quietly, keeping his hands glued to his side though he allows his shadows to take stock of you. 

You swallow thickly and rub your lips together, eyes fixed on the edge of the rug in their room. “I can’t sleep.” 

Azriel lets out a sympathetic sound. 

“We know,” Cassian admits; not harsh, but pointed. Azriel elbows him when you wince. 

“Do you want to come in?”

Azriel’s question causes the bond to thrum with hesitancy and caution, your nervous eyes darting towards the large, mussed bed that the Illyrians recently vacated. 

She’s not ready, the shadows translate, though Cassian manages to get the jist despite being entirely shadowless. 

A thunk sounds to the end of the room, and both males turn to find the House has deposited a sofa large enough for one, wingless fae to sleep comfortably on. 

“We’ll set you up, sweetheart,” Cassian tells you, turning back towards the room in silent invitation. 

Azriel’s invitation is more overt, stepping aside and swinging a hand out to welcome you in. 

Your eyes track Cassian—currently shirtless, back muscles accentuated by the silvery light of the moon through the windows—as he piles the sofa with various pillows and blankets that the two males kicked off hours ago after growing warm. 

“Will you be warm enough? With the window open,” Azriel asks, unsure whether the way you have your arms wrapped around your body is due to your wariness or the temperature. 

“Do you want a sweater?” Cassian chimes in before you can answer. 

A shiver runs through you which he accepts as an answer in and of itself. 

“I’ll get one for you,” Azriel decides, gesturing towards the sofa in a silent encouragement to sit while he turns to rifle through their dresser. 

He returns to find you perched on the edge of the sofa as if not entirely sure you should be here, not entirely sure you aren’t about to be asked to leave. 

“Arms up,” Azriel instructs gently, helping ease the oversized sweater over your head. He reaches behind you once you’ve slid your arms in to clip the wing slats shut so you don’t catch a draft. 

Your breath hitches. 

“Are you alright?” Cassian hums then as Azriel takes a step back, noticing the way your eyes shine in the moonlight. 

You clear your throat and blink past the tears. “Yeah, yes. I think so.” 

“Do you think you’ll be able to rest comfortably here?” 

You manage to look up at Azriel at that, and he once again gets the feeling you’re waiting for him to yell at you for something; waiting for him to tell you to get out. 

He sends a pulse of warmth down the bond and watches your eyes close at the sensation. 

“I think so,” you whisper. 

“Okay,” Cassian whispers in kind, coming up behind Azriel and hooking his chin over his shoulder as though holding Azriel will make up for not being able to hold you. 

Yet, Azriel’s mind unhelpfully and hopefully supplies. 

“Try to rest, love,” Azriel murmurs, daring to reach out and brush a thumb along your hairline before reluctantly pulling away. 

Cassian’s less tactful though equally as gentle, leaning around Azriel and bending down to cup your jaw with a steady hand as he presses a kiss to your temple. 

Azriel’s pretty sure the only reason Cassian manages to pry himself away from you is because Azriel forces him to, but the two of them find comfort in listening to the sound of you getting cozy on the sofa as they climb back into bed, now wide awake themselves at the prospect of having you here, in their room, with them. 

The bond—once vibrating with constant nerves—falls quiet and leaves Azriel’s chest feeling peculiarly hollow without it, seeing both males turning to find you with your eyes already closed and a peaceful expression on your face.

Your breathing evens out a few minutes later. 

You wake up in the morning better rested than you have in…well…maybe ever, if you’re being entirely honest with yourself. 

It’s been five weeks of this; of sleepless nights and tossing and turning, managing to fall into a fitful sleep only to wake up in a cold sweat and never feeling rested. 

You suck in a deep, grounding breath and sink further into your bed.

No, not your bed. 

Not your bed, not your room…not your blankets or pillows or sweater or-

You wrench your eyes open, sinking further into your certified nest and pulling up the blankets to your nose when you notice a massive shadow moving across the room.

No, not a shadow; Cassian.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” he greets as he pulls a shirt over his head, winking at you when he notices you watching. “Did you sleep well?” 

Your cheeks burn as you watch him reach behind his massive wings and clip his shirt together before he moves his attention to strapping on his training leathers.

You don’t realize he’s waiting for a response—can’t remember what he asked in the first place—until he’s standing in front of you with a divot between his brows.

“What?” you murmur from behind your blanket. 

“Did you sleep okay?” 

You’re not sure why he bothers asking. He likely already knows that you did; probably had to listen to you snoring from his and his mate’s bed all night. 

You offer him a tentative nod, eyes darting towards movement on the other side of the room when you nearly squeak in surprise. 

Azriel exits the attached bathroom with one towel resting sinfully low on his hips while he rubs at his hair with another, entirely ignorant to the way your mouth runs dry at the broad expanse of his tattooed chest and arms.

The smirk on Cassian’s face informs you that he is not ignorant to the way your mouth runs dry. 

“Like what you see, do you?”

“Did you sleep alright?” Azriel chimes in, not even looking over as he drops his towel—is that a male’s ass?—and makes to get dressed. You force your (now wide) eyes back to a grinning Cassian.

“She slept very well,” Cassian supplies for you, grin widening when you narrow your eyes at him. “She was just saying she’d like to come to training with us.”

“What?” you all but squawk, seeing Azriel finally turn his attention towards you, shirt in hand instead of on his body like a fucking sadist. 

“You wanna come to training?”

You quickly shake your head no. 

“It’s fun,” Cassian sing-songs, looking over his shoulder to confirm that Azriel’s distracted by his leathers before leaning in to whisper conspiratorially. “If you come, I can convince him to remove his shirt while he’s sparring. It’s quite a sight to behold.”

You suck in a breath, the fabric of the blanket pressed to your nose smelling strongly of your the mates and finding your heart traitorously evening out. 

“I don’t know how to fight,” you admit quietly. 

“I don’t want you to fight,” Azriel announces then, eyes flicking towards Cassian as though surprised by the words he just uttered himself. Cassian huffs a laugh at him.

“No, no. No fighting for you, sweets. We’ll fight; your job is to sit there and look pretty.” 

You hum noncommittally, audibly unconvinced as you recall the borrowed sweater you’re wearing and the thin sleep shorts you padded down the hallway in. 

The sound of fabric shifting finds the three of you turning to find the House supplying you with a comfortable pair of leggings and thick socks. 

“I guess that settles it then,” Cassian cheers, standing and pressing a quick, bordering aggressive kiss to the crown of your head before heading towards the door. “See you out there!” 

He presses an equally aggressive kiss to Azriel’s cheek—to which the Shadowsinger pretends to be disturbed by—before exiting the room.

Then, Azriel tentatively adds, “If you’re comfortable there, you don’t need to join us.” 

You get the feeling he’s a touch embarrassed. Shy, even. “If you need more rest, you’re welcome to stay here. Stay as long as you want.” 

You rub your lips together and sit up on the sofa, blanket pooling on your lap. “It’d be okay? If I came?”

Azriel’s wings twitch behind him, sitting higher as he grins at you. “Of course, we’d love for you to come.”

You try to smile back and then nod at your blanket. “Okay, I’ll be up shortly.”

Dimples appear on Azriel’s cheeks as his smile grows, eyes darting down to your chest. 

“And keep the sweater,” he says as he heads towards the door. “It looks much better on you.”

“You’re shivering.”

“Yeah, Az, because it’s fucking cold out here. I thought we were going to be getting fur lined leathers.”

“They were on back order!” Cassian’s voice answered from somewhere outside the tent. He had gone to find a spot to piss where it wouldn't freeze. 

“Further, Cass. If I slip tomorrow morning I’ll slit your throat,” you grumbled.

“Grumpy,” Azriel muttered.

“I don’t have thick skin like you.”

“Damn right you don’t,” Cassian answered as he climbed back into the small tent. “You’re just a dainty little high fae princess, aren’t you.”

You bared your teeth, a reaction that seemed to come with being turned fae. Azriel grabbed your wrist before you could reach for his conveniently close dagger. “Let’s not make things any worse.”

“Yeah,” you growled. “Trust me, Rhys will be getting an earful for this. If he wants to know what’s under Ramiel so bad, he can search the mountain himself. Better yet, bring Feyre, and maybe they’ll actually accomplish something.”

“You’re so cute when you’re feisty,” Cassian cooed, all up in your face. “Say ‘grr.”

“Don’t provoke her,” Azriel groaned.

You turned yourself around to face the wall of the tent, folding your arms over your chest. You tried to give off the air of “standing on business,” but that didn’t work when you were in an infinitely tiny tent with two infinitely large men.

“I have an idea.”

“That scares me coming from you.”

Cassian only laughed. “You know… if you're so cold, we could just warm you up. 

“What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean, princess. It may be cold outside, but my blood always runs hot.”

“Are you serious?”

“Deadly.” The smirk on Cassian’s face was wicked.

You turned to Azriel, waiting for the male to make sense of the situation. He only shrugged. “It’s one of his better ideas, actually.”

“Ha, I knew it.” Cassian flattened his wings to his body, crawling up and between your legs. He planted his face at your thigh, nuzzling into it. “Let’s get these off you, baby.”

“Taking my leathers off is only going to make me colder,” you huffed. 

“Fine be me. We’ll work around them.” He stole Truth-Teller from beneath Azriel’s measly pillow and quickly slid the blade right down the center of your pants.

“Cassian!”

“We have replacements, Princess. And this time, they’ll be fur lined.” He pushed your thighs apart with his big, warm hands, diving straight for the jackpot.

Azriel saddled himself behind you, pulling your figure back against his chest. His head found your shoulder, cuddling into it, but the sweet gesture did not last. Just as filthy as Cassian, he was now trailing his lips up the side of your neck.

“You guys…” 

Cassian only hummed. He had made quick work of parting your leathers at the split seam, his tongue at your bare folds in moments. He licked like a man starved, hands always moving. He stroked up and down your legs, coaxing warmth into the tired limbs. 

“Mmm, so wet so quickly… Tell me again how you felt about this idea?”

“Shut up-” you muttered, only to be cut off as two thick fingers slid into your pussy. They stilled, only softly curving as he rhythmically suckled your clit. “Cassian-”

“Say my name, too,” Azriel purred, almost pleading. He slid his hands up and under the front of your jacket, cupping your breasts as if they were precious. 

“A-Azriel…” 

A soft groan left his lips. He rewarded you with a little swipe to your nipples, gently thumbing them into stiff peaks. Yeah, it was over for you.

“Cauldron…”

“Cum for us,” Cassian whispered, voice pure sin as he began to pump his fingers, only ceasing his licks to whisper something dirty against your folds.

Cradled tightly in Azriel’s arms, you fell over the edge with a whimper. Cassian snickered, but did not stop until you began to tremble from the stimulation, the white hot pleasure in your nerves turning overbearing. 

“Warm, now?” Azriel murmured against your ear. 

Sighing inwardly, you gave in. “Yes, I’m warm now.”

However, you still needed help. So you did the only thing you could think of. You set a trap, left your cloak in the middle of the forest floor, and waited.

With exhaustion weighing you down, and the tree covering most of the moonlight, you had no idea how long you waited. Minutes, hours, you didn't know. All you knew what that your family was probably worried.

When the crack of a falled branch sounded through the air, you suspected it was more of a warning to you, rather a misstep on the creatures part. The Suriel was quiet when the trap snapped around them. So much so that you suspected that the centuries old creature was well aware of your plan even before you were.

It took more effort than you'd like to admit, to stand up from the tree you'd been resting on.

"Let me out, fae." The Suriel ordered. Its voice was a whisper in the wind.

"I need you to do something for me first."

"You want me to contact your High Lord." The Suriel answered.

"Yes."

"Let me free then."

You hesitated for a moment before pulling a blade out and cutting the vines you'd used in your trap. The Suriel dropped to the forest floor in a heap of cloth and bones. "The cloak is yours, just please, summon my High Lord."

"Your mates are terrified that you're dead."

"Just Rhysand."

"As you wish."

The Suriel stared at you for a moment longer before grabbing the cloak and vanishing deeper into the forest. You nearly collapsed in grief, fearing your imminent death if you were to be left alone with the creatures hiding in the forest with you. But before you can crumble in on yourself, there's soft hands at your back and a gentle voice you've come to realize as safety. Rhysand, your brother in all senses aside from blood.

"By the cauldron, I don't know how you got a Suriel to summon me, but I'm glad you did."

"Are they okay?" You ask. You both know to whom you're referring to.

"They will be once they see you." Rhys grabs your hand and, without warning, winnows you back to the River House.

The process of winnowing is always odd, but when you're in pain, exhausted and poisoned it's down right terrible. He's brought you to your spare room at the river house, and you all but collapse into bed.

"Rest, I'll bring the healer."

"Do they know I'm here?"

Rhys nodded. "They're coming."

Rhys came back with Madja quickly. Or so it felt. Your eyes had slipped closed, and you were only conscious someone was there when you felt a gentle warmth at your shoulder. Blinking your eyes opened, you found Madja smiling warmly down at you.

"You lot can't seem to stay out of trouble." She chided.

You were stopped from answering by the commotion downstairs. No doubt your two mates fighting their way through the house to get to you. You're proven right when your bedroom door flys open the next moment, and two winged males stride in. Their faces noticeably pale.

"Mother's tits," Cassian hisses as he comes around to the other side of your bed. "We thought-"

You smile sadly as you reach out for him. "I know."

"No more solo missions." Azriel said, although you felt it was more of an order.

"Az-"

"No more solo missions." Azriel bit out at Rhys.

You didn't know if Rhys was going to agree or not, but you were saved the trouble of a possible fight when Madja spoke up.

"If you lot are going to argue, do it elsewhere." Her order shut both your mates up, and the room was once again quiet.

Madja worked quickly and quietly, and soon enough, you found your eyes slipping shut, not from pain, but from pure exhaustion.

"Rest now," you heard Madja whisper. If she went on to say anything else, you weren't conscious of it.

The sun was shining through the window in broken rays when you woke. Azriel was sitting across from you in the only chair you had. A plush velvet seat that you knew had to be uncomfortable for his wings. His shadows swirled around him, slow, like syrup. Cassian was slumped on the floor, his back against the wall, and head down like a child told off. When your gaze landed back on Azriel, you found him already watching you.

"Hi," you croaked.

Azriel stood quickly but quietly, reaching to hand you a glass of water from your bedside. He waited until you were done to speak.

"How do you feel?" He asked as he grabbed the glass back and carefully placed it back on the bedside.

"Okay, better."

"Good." Azriel's voice was cool, crisp—distant. You knew exactly why.

"I'm sorry I scared you." Azriel didn't bother to answer. He sent a warm pulse of love down your bond. A silent recognition.

With a loud shift and a deep groan, Cassian stood from his place on the floor and came to your side. "Hey, sweetheart." He cooed. He was always more open with his affection.

"What time is it?" You asked.

"Nearly noon. You were out for a while." Cassian answers.

"Did either of you sleep?"

Cassian and Azriel share a look.

"No," you answer for them.

With both arms, you moved to sit up in bed. Both males reached out quickly, either trying to help you up or push you back down, you weren't sure. You swatted their hands out of the way regardless, unwilling to feed into their need to mother hen you. "I'm alright." You said softly, and you were pleased that you meant it. Madja had fully healed the pain in your shoulder.

"Madja said you had to take it easy until all the poison makes its way out of your system."

"I will, but that doesn't mean I can't sit up." You chid them.

"Rhys said you got the intel?" Cassian said.

You nodded. "I did."

"And what about the thing that did that?" Azriel asked, pointing to your bandaged shoulder.

"A soldier from Autumn." You answered.

"Is the soldier dead?" Azriel asked. You could hear the threat of violence behind his words.

"Dead." You answer.

Azriel gave a curt nod of his own. "Good."

"I better debrief Rhys," you said as you moved to get up. You stopped as you noticed the look that your mates shared. "Would you like to stay in bed with me, before I do that?" You ask.

"Yes!" Cassian hissed as he quickly climbed into bed with you. Azriel moved around to your other side, flipping your sheets up and sliding in beside you. It was a tight fit for the winged males, but it wasn't the first time the three of you had shuffled into your bed together.

"You're okay," Azriel said softly, his lips ghosting over your temple. You knew he wasn't speaking to yourself.

"I'm okay." You told him.

"You had us terrified last night when the bond went dark." Cassian said as he slipped his arms around you. On your other side, Azriel pressed gentle kisses to your jaw and cheek and neck. Anywhere his lips could reach.

"I know. I'm sorry." Looking into his hazel eyes, you could see the dark circles beneath them. You tangled your hand with his, squeezing tight. "But I'm here, and I'm okay."

"I understand now isn't the time," Azriel began. "But later, we're having a conversation about solo missions."

"A conversation," you answer. "Not a lecture."

Azriel smiled softly. "A conversation."

"I love you." Cassian said.

“I was fine Cass, honest.” You appreciated how worried your friends were but sometimes they could be over dramatic. Especially Cassian. 

“You must be freezing,” Azriel says, freeing you from Cassian’s hold. He slips off your gloves cupping his hands around yours to heat them. “A little,” you giggle at Azriel’s touch. Heat flooding your cheeks at the way he looks at you with such care and gentleness. “Let’s get you warmed up then.” Az rests a scarred hand on your lower back to guide you towards your room for the next few days. 

Cassian opens the door ushering you inside. A fire is already burning bright in the small hearth of the guest room and soft fur blankets are piled on the end of the bed. Your bag rests on a foot stool by the dresser waiting for you to unpack thanks to Mor. 

“Here, let me help,” Azriel unbuttons your coat, sliding it off along with your hat and scarf. All of which are wet from the snow storm outside. Cassian wordlessly strides over to your bag to dig out fresh warm clothes for you. They reluctantly leave you to get settled for a bit since Rhys called them away.  

You climb under the covers still violently shivering from your walk. A knock sounds on the door as you pull a blanket around your shoulders, Az and Cass poke their heads in. “We just wanted to check on you before our next meeting.” Cass says. “And we brought you something.” Az holds up a pair of dark, thick wool socks, the ones you have always been jealous of because they seem so warm. 

Azriel kneels next to your bed gesturing for you to turn to him. You let him slip the socks on your feet as you try to bite back a smile. “Thank you,” you whisper. “You’re welcome.” Az says, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. You wished his lips lingered. That his hands weren’t afraid to caress you. You look up at him with bright eyes as the heat fades from your cheeks. 

Cassian ruffles your hair, his large hand lingering comfortably on the back of your head. You hold back from leaning into his grasp. His hand slips from your hair and he longingly looks at his palm. 

Instead of saying anything, Cassian wraps the abandoned blanket snug around your shoulders, and pulls the down blanket, along with two throws over your lap. “Can we get you anything?” Your eyes quickly dart to the book poking out of your bag but you feel too bad to ask for it. Azriel notices as well as his shadows. The little wisps transport it from your bag to your lap making you smile. 

“Warm up, love. We’ll check on you before dinner.” You nod at them as they leave, wishing they would stay and cuddle you. You’ve had dreams where you’re squished between them–some dreams less innocent than others. One day, maybe, you’ll get the courage to say something when you’re not cold and pathetic looking. 

Azriel and Cassian couldn’t focus to save their lives. Their minds focused on you. 

Are you warm yet? Your hands and face were so pale and cold it made them worry. Should they have called for a healer to check you over? 

Too many questions ran through their heads as Rhys and Kal discussed borders and other High Lord duties they could commiserate in. 

You buried your face in a pillow and whined. Loudly. It was a full-body complaint. Crampy. Hungry. Emotional. Rage-adjacent. All of it rolled into one frustrated sound that made your mate wince.

“Just throw me into the Sidra,” you muttered. “Let me float away and become a bitter little river nymph.”

Cassian laughed, and the absolute nerve of the male, you should grab him by the balls and—

But then he’s crouched in front of you, cupping your cheek with a big warm hand. His other hand rested on your thigh, thumb rubbing gentle circles into the tense muscle.

“Do river nymphs get chocolate?” he asks, his voice low and coaxing. “Because I did get this…”

From behind his back, he pulls out a fourth bar of chocolate—the exact kind you wanted. Dark with coconut.

You blinked. “You lied.”

“You’re so cute when you’re being dramatic, I can’t help but poke the bear sometimes,” Cassian said as he grinned.

Before you can thank him or fake being mad just to be a brat, Azriel appears and sets a tray on the coffee table. It holds a mug of tea, a heating pad, your favorite sweater of his, and—

“You made brownies?” you ask, eyes widening.

Azriel gives a small, sheepish nod. “With extra fudge, just the way you like.”

Your eyes well up with tears.

You’re not sure if it’s the pain or the love, but both males freeze like they’re preparing for a flood.

Az crouched beside you next to Cassian and gently smoothed a piece of hair behind your ear. “Is this a good cry or a bad cry?”

You sniffled. “I’m not sure yet.”

Cassian held up the brownie like an offering to a goddess. “Good cry if you eat this?”

You snatched it from him and took a bite so rich it practically melts into your soul. It’s warm. Gooey. Perfect.

“Good cry,” you confirm around a mouthful.

Both males visibly relaxed.

They don’t ask to cuddle. They just move with the easy rhythm of long-practiced affection. Azriel gathered you into his lap on one end of the couch, arranging the heated blanket over you. His hand slid beneath the hem of your sleep shorts to rest against the small of your back, applying gentle, consistent pressure that somehow makes the cramps less agonizing.

Cassian lounged on the other end, pulled your legs across his lap and massaged your calves, his thumb catching a knot in your aching muscles.

“You’re so lucky I love you,” you said, squinting at them with dramatic judgment.

Cassian smirked. “I feel like that’s something I’m going to hear twelve more times today.”

“Twelve?” Az echoed. “Low estimate.”

You elbowed them both half-heartedly. “Don’t bully me”

Cassian leaned over and pressed a kiss to your knee. “We would never. We love you.”

Azriel rested his cheek against your temple. “Even when you’re a hormonal little menace.”

You gasp. “You take that back.”

“You threatened to unmate me this morning because I gave you the wrong spoon,” Az pointed out, calmly sipping his tea.

“It was the big spoon instead of the little spoon. It was offensive,” you said, your bottom lip sticking out in a pout.

Cassian howled with laughter and you whacked him with a couch pillow. You quickly regretted the action when it sent a new wave of cramps rippling through your abdomen.

You groaned, curling forward.

“Shh, hey,” Az said quickly, rubbing slow circles into your back. “That bad again?”

“Mmhmm.”

Cassian’s hands moved to your thighs, warm and soothing. “Want me to get the balm?”

“Don’t touch me with that minty demon slime again,” you grumbled into Az’s chest. “It burned my uterus last time.”

“I think it just tingled,” Azriel said gently.

“Well why don’t you try it and see if it just tingles?”

Azriel shared a look with Cassian that said, Do not argue. Not today. Cassian wisely nodded and switched tactics, rubbing your calves again with practiced ease.

“You want a bath?” Cassian offers after a moment. “I’ll run it. Real hot. Bubbles, salts, whatever you want.”

“Not now,” you mumbled. “Too sore.”

He cooed and leaned down to kiss the side of your knee again. “Tell me when and I’ll carry you in.”

Azriel hummed. “You should nap.”

You snorted. “Every time I nap, I wake up sweaty and in pain and convinced I’ve missed five appointments I don’t actually have.”

“You haven’t had any appointments in months,” Az said softly.

“Exactly.”

Cassian grinned and shifted slightly, brushing your ankle with the pad of his thumb. “So what’s the plan, General?”

You look at both of them, your two stupidly handsome, frustratingly doting males, and sighed.

“Plan is…” you muttered. “You keep massaging me, Azriel keeps holding me and reads the romance book I love and neither of you are allowed to complain.”

Cass sighed like he’d been sentenced to death.

“Deal,” Azriel said.

You smile, victorious. “Also I want to braid someone’s hair.”

Cassian raises a brow. “Yours?”

“No, yours.”

He arched a brow. “You want to braid my hair?”

“Yes! Oh, and put little bows in it, too. It’ll be so cute!”

Azriel laughed into his fist as Cassian, resigned but smitten, plopped onto the floor in front of you.

You braid Cassian’s hair. Azriel reads your favorite book softly. Cassian starts to open your chocolate while you’re distracted and you complain. He gives you a bite and the homicidal urge dissipates.

“I think so.” He smirks and takes a seat opposite you. “I’ve just received word that most of the female Illyrians in Windhaven have agreed to start training.” “What!” You shout and then shrink back as you recall the quiet sanctuary of the library around you. “What do you mean? Who convinced them?” “You did.” He reaches forward and starts flipping idly through one of the books on the table “Apparently the group you were headed to see in the cottage the other week witnessed that trainee lunge at you and then watched you take him down. Seeing your quick reaction and ability to defend yourself convinced them.” He straightens a little then and starts glancing around your small study space between the shelves. “That’s amazing, I’ll start working with Cassian on a training plan.” You start searching for a pen so you can jot down some ideas. “Hopefully when their training begins news will start spreading to the other camps and we can get those females involved as well.” “Speaking of Cassian.” Rhysand leans forward onto his forearm “Why do you smell like my General?” He grins wickedly at you. “And my Spymaster for that matter.” You can feel the blood rush to your cheeks. “Well, I-, actually what I-” you were sure the blush now tinged your neck and the tips of your ears. “Relax” Rhysand leans back in his chair “It’s none of my business.” He begins picking invisible lint from his shoulder and you smile softly at his little ways of making you more comfortable. You take a deep breath. “Actually you should know.” You exhale to steady yourself. “I was hoping that Cass and Az would be here when you found out, but I’d rather not leave you to jump to your own conclusions.” You glance up to find his eyebrows raised in a ‘who me?’ fashion. “I know that they are mates and, well, I am also their mate.” You bite your lip waiting for his response. His eyes widen in surprise for all of three seconds and then he leans forward on clasped hands. “A triad bond huh.” He reaches a hand into the air, materialises a book from nowhere and begins flicking. “Extremely rare, I’ve actually never met someone in a triad before. I wonder if there are any additional benefits or detriments when compared to a regular bond.” he begins rambling “Of course I’ll mask your scent” Without looking up he clicks his fingers and you feel a ripple of his power wash over you. “You three will make an excellent case study, of course if you’re willing to answer some questions, nothing too personal obviously.” “Wait, you can mask my scent?” You ask. “Of course, who do you think has masked the scent of those two all over each other for centuries? You’ll be able to scent each other but it keeps it covered for others. It’s a tiny piece of my magic, a good way to keep burning it off really.” He replies without looking up from his new research.

“We decided to keep the bond a secret for now, if you’ve been doing it for them why wouldn’t they get you to do it for me right away?” You try to control the level of your voice. Rhysand looks up at you with a levelled stare.

“Y/N, they may be two of the greatest warriors to ever grace the Illyrian legions but they’re still males.” You cock your head to the side trying to understand. “They’re being territorial. They want you to smell like them. Even though it’s stupid and risks the bond being exposed.”

“Oh.” You sit back and feel the blush that just started to fade reappear across your cheeks.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------

You walk into your room and find Cassian waiting in the armchair you keep in the corner.

“Finally, I thought I would have to come pull you from the library myself.” He jumps up and scoops you into his arms as your feet leave the ground.

“I got caught up with Rhysand.” You explain as you dip your head down and place a soft kiss to his lips. A flurry of jealousy washes down the bond.

“Really? Rhys?” You raise your eyebrows at him as he sets you back on your feet.

“Sorry.” He chuckles. “Mating bond is still chaffing a little bit.” He runs a hand through his dishevelled hair as he ducks his head.

“Well he knows now, about us I mean.” You gesture awkwardly between the two of you.

“You told him?” He smirks mischievously.

“I didn’t have to, he was curious to know why I smelt like you and your mate” You smack him lightly on the shoulder as you push past and dump your bag at your desk. “Why didn’t you tell me about the scent masking?” 

“Honestly it slipped my mind.” He shrugs. “It’s not like we’ve really left the house so the secret's still safe.”

He crosses the room towards you until you're forced to lean back into the desk to look up at him.

“Also is it so bad that you smell of me and our mate?” He dips down and begins to brush his lips along your neck.

Right. Our mate. The one who’s become increasingly distant. Who trains longer and stays in his study later into the night. The one who let Cassian take over your blade training after one small disagreement.

You drop your head to Cassian’s chest and let a small sigh escape your lips. He lifts your face with gentle fingers under your chin.

“This is about Azriel?” His dark eyes flick between yours.

“What if he’s disappointed Cass? What if he regrets accepting the bond?” You can feel the tears forming in the back of your throat.

“Trust me baby. He doesn’t regret it. He’s just…” His gaze falls to the middle distance above your head, searching for the right words.

“Pushing me away?” It had only been a few weeks and whilst things between you and Cassian had never been better the opposite was true for Azriel. Of course the three of you had fallen into bed together numerous times since the bond clicked. But you couldn’t help but feel like he was only going along with it all for Cassian’s sake.

“Listen, Az and I have been mates for a long time.” He brushes his fingers along your cheek. “We found a way of… managing our relationship. He’s just still trying to figure out how you fit into that.”

“He gave up my training. He no longer visits the library in the afternoons. He stopped consulting me on intel.” You pout not convinced by his words.

“Let me show you something. Do you trust me?” A wicked grin appears on his face.

“Of course.” You straighten, intrigued by the mischievous glint in his eye.

“I need you to block out your bond to Azriel. Just like you’ve been practising.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Cassian trails his fingers down your bare ribs, your fingers curl into the sheets beneath you as you focus on keeping the shield in your mind in place.

“Good girl, now if you need me to stop at any point I want you to use the safe word.” He murmurs into your skin as he leaves soft kisses along your hip.

“Safe word?” You squirm a little, eager to have him pay attention to the ache between your legs.

He smirks up at you and though you’ve been bare before him so many times now it still sends a flush across your skin. “A safe word is for whe-”

“I know what a safe word is Cass!” You smack his shoulder for the second time today. “What’s the safe word?”

“Stardust.” He murmurs and then immediately licks a stripe up your core, flicking your clit with his tongue. You throw your head back against the pillow and let out a soft moan.

You’d had lovers before but had never quite found you enjoyed receiving oral the way you did with your thighs wrapped around the head of one of your mates. Their tongues devoured you in ways you’d never experienced before, soft where you needed, hard where it counted and always so warm.

Cassian quickly works you to the edge and you swear small white spots begin to swim behind your closed lids. You feel your core begin to tighten as Cassian quickly pulls away.

You let out a small whine and glare up at him as he holds himself over you, grinning like an idiot.

“Still have that wall in place sweetheart?” He cocks his head to the side. You quickly check the shield between you and Azriel is still in place.

“Yes, but why did you stop?” You pout.

“Good things come to those who wait.” He chuckles, leaning down, capturing your bottom lip between his teeth. He kisses you softly, slowly, savouring the moment and you can taste yourself on his lips. Soon his fingers find your sensitive clit and your hips unintentionally grind up to meet his movements. Your hands grab at thick biceps covered in Illyrian swirls, giving you purchase for more movement. You pant in soft moans as Cassian kisses down your chest, reaching a nipple and sucking it into his mouth. He quickly works you to the edge again. 

“Oh god, please” You whine at his assault.

He leaves one nipple to nip at the tight bud of the other and just when you feel like you could shatter he pulls his hand away. “Cass” Your voice a soft whimper at your lost pleasure.

“Do you need me to stop baby girl?” His voice is a soft gravel, almost daring you to ask him to stop.

“No, I need you to not stop.” You give him a small shove and he tumbles to the side pulling you on top of him as he spins.

“Don’t worry baby, I’m giving you exactly what you need.” His eyes sparkle with mischief but you don’t have time to question it as he guides your hips down onto his length. Your head tips back gently with a moan as you adjust to the stretch of him.

It could be centuries and you’d never get used to the feeling of him entering you. His thick length slides into you, filling you completely. You begin to rise on your knees, aching for the friction of him inside you.

“Mmmm, ride me baby, I’m all yours.” Cassian pants beneath you, his eyes screwed shut savouring the feel of you wrapped around him.

You plant your hands on his chest, bouncing up and down as his hips roll to meet yours. Already worked to the edge twice, you can feel the coil tightening inside of you. A series of small whimpers escape your lips as Cassian palms at your hips and your chest. You can feel his head drag across your soft walls, building pressure exactly where you need it. Suddenly Cassian is  coming with a groan. His fingers digging tightly into your hips as you feel him pulse inside you. You bite your lip unsure what to do. You're glad you could bring your mate pleasure but he’d never finished before you, Hel these males usually made you come undone twice before they were finished with you.

“Relax baby girl.” Cassian reaches up and releases your bottom lip with a gentle swipe of his thumb. “I said I’d get you what you needed and I meant it.”

He reaches across the bed to his discarded shirt and begins pulling it over your head.

“Keep that shield in place and go find our mate.” He gives you a wink before helping you off the bed with a small smack to your ass.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------

You pad down the hall towards Azriel’s office. The soft glow of the rising moon outside reminding you that you were still yet to eat. And you were hungry, famished, but for something that no food could satiate. Your shadow slides along the wall catching your eye and you wonder what kind of picture you paint right now. Bed tangled hair, Cassian’s oversized shirt falling off one shoulder and his cum slowly sliding down your inner thigh.

You reach Azriel’s door, hold your breath a little and push it open without knocking. He’s bent over his paperwork, hair tousled slightly from running his hands through it, wings slouching a little behind him. At first he doesn’t look up from his work.

“I’ll be just a few more minut-” You see the moment your mingled scents reach him. His whole body stiffens, his head snaps up to take you in, his pupils blow wide like a predator that’s just spotted its favourite prey and the pen in his hand snaps in half.

He moves faster than you've ever seen and has you pinned to the wall in a second.

Azriel leans forward and whispers across your neck “I was wondering what you two were up to when the bonds cut off.”

You can’t even form words as Azriel consumes every sense. His warm body pressed against yours, his right leg nestled against your core. His scent sends your brain into overdrive and all you can manage is a small whimper as you roll your hips against his thigh.

“I can smell his seed on you sweetheart, did he not satisfy you enough?” His voice is deep and rumbling. His wings are flared out behind him blocking you from the empty room as his shadows make agitated swirls along his wings.

“Please Az, he didn’t let me.” You grab the front of his leathers pulling yourself closer to him as your hips continue to find friction on his thigh.

Azriel freezes. He becomes so still you wonder if he’s even breathing. You pull back and find that his eyes are almost completely black, his shadows have slowed to a crawl behind him, like a snake coiled for attack. A shiver runs down your spine as you realise you're staring into the stone cold eyes of the Night Courts Spymaster. You silently berate yourself for wanting him more for it.

He pushes off the wall and you instantly miss the feel of him against you but he slides his fingers around your wrist as he pulls you from the room.

“I’m going to fucking kill him, I swear.” He snarls as he leads you back down the hall to your room.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------

Just as Azriel turns to enter the bedroom one of his shadows snaps out and wraps itself around Cassian's neck. 

“You wanted my attention?” Azriel curls his free hand into a fist and the shadow tightens around his airway. Cassian sits up in the bed and attempts to pull the shadow away, struggling for air.

“Now you have it.” Azriel snarls, dropping your wrist and striding towards the bed.

“Az don’t hurt him!” You cry out and try to tug Azriel backwards.

The shadow loosens but remains looped around Cassian's neck. He pulls in gasping breaths that match Azriel's heaving chest as he towers over the end of the bed.

I’m okay baby girl, he’s not going to hurt me. Cassian’s gruff voice enters your mind.

Y/N you should go clean up while I deal with him. With the bond now open Azriel’s cool tone slides into your mind as well.

But- You begin a little unsure but you’re quickly interrupted.

She knows the safe word, she doesn’t have to go anywhere. Cassian sits up straighter glaring at Azriel in challenge.

More of Azriel’s shadows begin to crawl along the bed.

Why does she know the safe word? Azriel seethes.

You stand frozen watching the back and forth between them.

Well I wasn’t going to edge her without the safe word was I? Cassian cocks his head to the side and you swear you see a vein pop in Azriel’s neck.

Azriel spins and you duck a little to avoid his outstretched wings.

“How many times?” His dark eyes now fall to you.

Cassian replies before you can “It was onl-”

The shadow around Cassian’s neck slides onto his face, gagging him. Other shadows pounce from the mattress and swirl around his wrists pinning him down.

“I swear to the Cauldron if you fucking speak again.” Azriel growls over his shoulder. He stands before you, the picture of death. Dark wings splayed across the room, hands balled into fists, muscles strung tight. And you're surprised to find your voice does not waiver as you reply.

“Three times.”

“Y/N it’s up to you if you want to stay or go.” He nods sharply and turns back to face Cassian, giving you the opportunity to slip out of the room without a fuss if needed. Instead you slip past him, climb onto the bed above Cassian’s head and rest against the headboard. Both their eyes trail your movements before Azriel’s land on Cassian again.

“So you think you can take pleasure from my mate and leave her unsatisfied?” Azriel begins loosening the top of his leathers as he paces around the bed. He reaches for the sheet that is still covering Cassian’s bottom half and whips it away.

“Figures you’d be hard again, you always were a fucking whore. Maybe you’ve lost your touch? Couldn’t keep it up long enough for Y/N to get off?” He breathes a sinister chuckle.

A low growl ripples through Cassian’s chest, still gagged and bound by shadows, at the insinuation.

“Would you like to help me teach him a lesson love?” Azriel questions you as he removes the top half of his leathers and undershirt sending muscles rippling.

Your mouth is watering at the sight of him and it’s all you can do to nod dumbly as you reply “Yes please.”

Azriel’s eyes spark in surprise and then the mattress dips beside you as he leans towards you.

“Show me how he used you sweetheart.” His fingers brush gently down the length of your jaw.

You send the images flickering down the bond – of Cassian’s mouth on you, his hands bringing you to the edge and finally of you riding atop him.

Azriel’s eyes are completely black as they flick between yours. Wordlessly he reaches for you and pulls you into his arms. Cut him off baby girl. His deep voice curls in the back of your mind as his soft lips brush against yours. You do as he says, lifting a shield between your mind and Cassian’s.

Cassian’s throat rips open in snarls from where he lays on the bed with the two of you kneeling before him. Your eyes flick across to him, your heart constricting at his distress and you immediately want to reach out to him.

He’s okay. Azriel’s fingers find their way under your chin turning your attention back to him. He’s just swearing at me profusely for cutting him off. First I want to take care of you. He begins to trail kisses down your neck. Then we can deal with him.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------

Cassian watches from the top of the bed as Azriel positions you on all fours. You’re faced towards him, cheeks flushed and pupils blown wide. Cauldron he wishes he wasn’t bound right now.

Give her back. Cassian growls down the bond at Azriel. Furious he’s been shut out from your mind, from your emotions, with you so close.

You can have her back when I think you deserve it. Azriel snarls as he slides into you from behind. Cassian watches your breath catch, feels you clench at the sheets beneath them and he’s slowly going mad. He struggles against the shadows that pin his wrists to the bed and attempts to shift the shadows that bind his mouth. He’s never been so close to safe wording before. Your proximity but infinite distance pulls and frays at every instinct he has.

Azriel has set a hard and fast pace, bringing you to the edge that Cassian refused to tip you over. And as you come undone with panting whimpers, Cassian bucks his hips into the air with a muffled groan, failing to find the friction his leaking cock is begging for.

Azriel slides out of you, cock still hard and glistening from your release. That’s how you pleasure my mate Cassian. Azriel’s growl filters through the bond.

Fuck you, she’s mine too. Cassian bites back, the only way he can right now.

Oh no, I think I’ll fuck you. He smirks darkly. Eventually.

Azriel gives you a small nod and you crawl forward towards Cassian, and Hel if he was standing he would have gone to his knees at the sight.

Your plush lips wrap around his head and he throws his head back against the pillow, a groan escapes between clenched teeth. Fuck this might be all he needs to survive, forget food and water he’ll live off your touch alone if he needs to.

Your head bobs up and down his length and he can feel the pleasure building. Can feel his muscles tightening, ready to pump his release down his pretty mates throat.

Suddenly Azriel has his hand wrapped in the hair at the nape of your neck pulling you off him with a small pop.

“Good girl, that’s enough.” Azriel purrs into your ear before capturing your mouth with his, sliding his tongue along your lower lip.

Cassian’s chest rises and falls in deep pants. Release me now Azriel or I swear to the Cauldron I’l-

You’ll what? Azriel cocks his head to the side. You’re not really in any position to be making demands.

Azriel releases you then to lie back on the bed. He looms over Cassian, face hovering only inches away, wings flared wide behind him almost blacking out the room. You have a pretty face General, but I want to hear those pretty noises to match. He punctuates his remark by sliding two long fingers inside Cassian.

Cassian’s skin already feels like it’s on fire and Azriel’s assault on that spot inside him might just cause him to combust. He simultaneously wants to throw Azriel through the nearest wall and kiss his stupidly handsome face. Azriel hadn’t let himself take control like this since they had accepted the mating bond with Y/N and Cassian had finally found the right buttons to press -  Y/N’s. Now he was both reaping the benefits and paying the price for it.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------

You lay beside your mates as you take in Azriel at work. The bulge of his arms, the scars that litter his torso criss-cross with Illyrian swirls, the half smirk that graces his lips as he pulls whimpers from Cassian.

Azriel’s eyes are still clouded in darkness, wholly focused on the task at hand which now appears to be Cassian’s punishment.

Long fingers slide in and out of Cassian, stretching him open with every pass. You want to reach out to him, to open the bond and allow your emotions to mingle with his but you don’t want to go against Azriel’s command. This was the control that Cassian had alluded to. The side of Azriel they had kept away from you. The night you found out about the mating bond comes back to you...

‘ You don’t scare me, Shadowsinger. You let admiration flow through the bond along with your words. In a blink of an eye Azriel is crowded over you, arms braced on the sides of your chair.

Really? He smirks down at you in challenge ‘

Should you be afraid right now? Azriel hovers over Cassian propped on an elbow. One hand thrusting inside him the other pulling at the hair from the top of his scalp. He’s grinning down at Cassian’s muffled cries like he might just sink his teeth into his flesh to make him cry out more. His wings a flare out dimming the room and the shadows that hold Cassian down are joined by others that swirl along the bed, slide over muscled bodies, until they appear to be drowning in darkness. 

But Cassian doesn’t fight for the surface, his head is thrown back as moans of pleasure reverberate through his chest like he’d willingly give his last breath for Azriel to keep going. Suddenly you watch Cassian stiffen, his eyes shooting open as Azriel stills. You’re sure more violent words are exchanged between them as Azriel once again denies Cassian of his release.

Your skin tingles at the sight and without an ounce of fear, you realise that maybe you want to drown in the darkness too.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------

Cassian’s eyes flick to you as you move across the bed but you keep your gaze locked to Azriel. You slide a hand across his shoulder and he rises at your gentle command, settling onto his knees. Your focus never wavers as you settle yourself across Cassian’s waist towards the shadowsinger. His grin is gone and he watches your every movement carefully. You let your eyes wander down his toned chest, watch his abs flex under your gaze before landing on his thick length. Azriel’s hard cock brushes his stomach, the thick vein running along the underside revealed to you. His cock hovers only inches from Cassian’s which is flushed red as you watch a bead of precum swell at the tip. With them both straining before you, you can’t help but imagine what it would be like to take them both at the same time. To have them filling you, stretching you -

Oh sweetheart, say the word and your wish is my command. Azriel purrs. Your eyes flick to meet black ones as you lift yourself from your perch on Cassian’s chiselled torso, giving him the perfect view of your ass, before sinking down on his length. His hips make a feeble attempt to meet yours but Azriel is upon you, strong calloused hands gripping your hips and holding you down.

Azriel’s mouth captures yours, nipping and sucking at your bottom lip. His rough hands explore your body, sliding over soft skin and cupping your breasts. You let out a small whimper at the all consuming sensation of one mate stretching you open while the other runs expert hands along every nerve. Azriel pulls back, a short growl rolling from his chest.

“What’s wrong?” You pant softly. “He won’t keep quiet.” His eyes flick over your shoulder momentarily at Cassian. The lord of bloodshed was never one to go quietly, so you can only imagine what he’s throwing down the bond at Azriel right now. Azriel takes up your hands in his and places them on his shoulders. He leans forward, lips brushing your neck and murmurs “Hold on sweetheart.” Your fingers flex into thick muscle as he leans into you.

“You want more General?” He snarls over you before lifting Cassian’s hips slightly. The movement forces him even deeper inside you and you can’t help the moan that escapes your lips. Without warning Azriel slams into him. Cassian lets out a muffled cry that you hope is more pleasure than pain.

“Is that enough for you?” Azriel chuckles darkly. Azriel’s large hands envelop your waist once more as he guides you up and down on Cassian in time with his own thrusts. You let yourself go, let Azriel use your body to pleasure Cassian as all you can focus on is your own. When you find yourself on the edge again Azriel’s gentle purr is there.

Drop your shield, let him feel all of you Y/N.

You do as he says, dropping your mental shield and finally opening the bond to Cassian again. A flood of emotion washes over you, of relief, anger, envy, happiness all swirling together but the prevailing sense of lust is all consuming.

Cassian’s emotions tangling with your own is overwhelming and that coil building inside of you snaps. You fall willingly into the dark abyss of your release. Seeing you reach your climax has both of your mates falling after you and soon the only sound in the room is the mix of panting breaths.

Azriel recalls his shadows and immediately Cassian claims you. He grabs your sides and twists you towards him, lips laying kisses to any piece of skin in his reach.

Y/N? Cassian’s low timbre reverberates in your mind, soft and timid.

I’m here Cass. You run your fingers through his soft hair, doing your best to calm him. Are you okay?

Never better sweetheart. His fingers trace circles on your back. Just need you here. Need you close.

Having the bond cut off had obviously taken a toll on him, like a carrot on a stick Azriel had dangled you in front of him the entire time.

You are far tastier than a carrot my love. I just need a few minutes to recentre. Also I’m afraid if I let you go I’ll make good on some of the nastier promises I made Az. His broad chest bounces beneath you with his chuckle.

Yes you were starting to get rather creative towards the end there. Azriel chuckles along with him. I’ll get you both some water.

Azriel’s weight lifts from the bed as you lean down and kiss Cassian softly.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------

So, this is what you’ve both been keeping from me? You slowly trace the Illyrian tattoos along Cassian’s chest with your fingertips. He ponders the ceiling for a moment before responding.

When we first met Azriel at the Illyrian camps, he was untrained, never learnt to fly and had a darkness that trailed after him. His mouth quirks with a smile, obviously remembering the time fondly. However your bottom lip juts out in a pout, recalling why it was so in the first place.

After bein- Cassian paused for a moment After the childhood he had, having never known a sense of control, his untamed power would just take over. He ended up in twelve fights in his first week at camp.

Cassian leaned down, absentmindedly brushing his lips to the top of your head.

Shortly after the mating bond snapped we discovered a way for him to manage. An outlet that gave him full control when he felt himself slipping into the darkness. Everyone thought his new friendship and proximity to the future High Lord was the cause of the change. That he was now able to maintain focus, control and wield his power better than ever. Only Rhys and I knew the truth.

It was very generous of you, to become that for him. You smile softly.

Cassian breaks out into a deep laugh, the vibrations tingling your skin.

Oh no, it wasn’t generosity at all. He grins widely. My horny ass got me caught out after Az got in a fight with Rhys one night. His eyes went dark, shadows flying, solid muscle straining in flight leathers. He looked as if death came to walk the earth and I got fucking hard. He laughs again at himself. Az scented it and jumped me, Rhys couldn’t winnow away fast enough. I guess you could say the darkness called to me.

I think I know the feeling. You giggled to yourself. Cassian raised a hand to your chin, pulling your eyes to his dazzling grin still wide.

And that is why we are made for each other my love. He pulls you in for another lingering kiss.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------

Azriel softly pads back to the bedroom with two glasses in hand. He’d stopped at his room to throw on soft pants and a light shirt even though he didn’t want to be away from either of you for a second. It felt strange not being the one comforting Cassian right now but he knew that Y/N was what he needed. Especially after he had made her withhold the bond. Azriel pulls his bottom lip between sharp teeth. He has to admit that was dark, even for him. But Cassian never truly wavered and that scared him a little. One day he was going to do something that caused Cassian to truly snap and there would be no going back.

Azriel reaches your bedroom door and takes in the sight of his mates tangled together. Y/N half sprawled over Cassian, hair fanned across his chest. Cassian’s hand resting possessively on your hip, holding you to him even as you rested in a state between sleep and awake. He doesn’t know how long he stands there taking them in. Gods they look like they were made for eachother. Like they were poured from the Cauldron in the same moment and have only now found their way back to each other. Both so beautiful, strong and filled with light.

He catches one of his shadows sliding along the bed to you both and his heart freezes. In your combined blooms of light his shadow is the thorny vine. The weed that is pruned as to not cause destruction and decay to the beauty.

Azriel stumbles back towards the hall. How did he not see it? For so long he thought the Cauldron had made a mistake in giving him Cassian. And of course he never deserved a second mate, especially not one as brilliant as Y/N. And now here was the proof.

Perhaps he was a placeholder until you and Cassian could meet? Perhaps he was a mistake altogether? Whatever the reason, he saw it clearly now. He didn’t belong between you, he was a burden to be shouldered and you both deserved so much more. You deserved each other. He slipped from the room completely.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s the suffocating warmth that has you rolling away from Cassian. You’re sure he runs ten degrees hotter than any normal being. You slide your fingers along the sheets searching for the cool touch of your shadowsinger, only to come up empty. You sit up scanning the dark room but don’t find a single shadow out of place.

Azriel never returned with the waters he promised and there are no glasses on the bedside table to suggest he returned at all. Cassian mumbles into the pillow beside you as you pull his discarded shirt over your head for the second time tonight. You swing your legs off the bed and pad down the hall.

You approach the dim light of the kitchen to find a note pinned beneath a blade on the kitchen counter. Panic begins to set in, your heart pounding in your chest. You hear a commotion down the hall and pray to the Cauldron that it’s Azriel who will appear to quiet the noise pulsing in your head.

But it’s Cassian who stumbles into the kitchen next to you. Sensing your distress he’d obviously lept from the bed only pausing long enough to collect his underwear and a blade.

“What’s wrong?” He pants eyes darting around the room, assessing for a threat. You nod towards the note on the counter not trusting your voice.

He approaches it cautiously, as if it could jump from the surface and attack at any moment. He pushes the blade aside, picks up the note and reads it in the time it takes for you to figure out how to breathe again.

You watch as Cassian’s wings fall. The tips dragging on the ground. He reads the note again as if that will change anything about its contents.

His hand falls and he steps towards you, handing you the note.

“He’s gone.” His low voice rumbles.

My love,

Forgive me. I hope this letter remains in one piece long enough for you to read but I can understand if you do not grant me such a privilege. I never thought I would need to say goodbye to you, as you are my home. But I can not jeopardise your safety, Y/N’s safety, any longer.After centuries my darkness still remains unpredictable and for so long you have been its balm. Somehow you have kept the shadows inside me at bay. 

But now my darkness threatens your new light. Y/N is everything you have always deserved. She is warmth, calm, serenity and whilst I wish beyond anything to bask in that light along with you I cannot take that risk.

I know I do not have the right to ask anything of you now but I beg of you to take care of her. Be her protector where I cannot, be the strength she needs and the mate I cannot be. Until my last breath I will be yours.

Always. Azriel.

“He’s gone.” You manage to choke out.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------

Azriel scratches another line into the rough rock wall. Three months. It’s been three months since he left and he’s not sure how he’s still breathing.

Originally he planned to flee the Night Court entirely, settle far away perhaps on the continent. But he couldn’t bring himself to even cross the border.

He could stay close, he told himself. He could embody the shadows that are loyal to him, become a part of the darkness. From this small cave in the mountainside he could watch over Velaris, monitor for danger. Maybe one day he’d even have the strength to return to the city, moving between the shadows only to catch a glimpse of his mates on an errand. 

He could see it now, Cassian trailing after Y/N complaining about carrying all of the gifts you’d buy for Starfall. You’d give some witty reply and then stand on tiptoes to place a kiss on his cheek.

Starfall. It was tonight. Azriel’s eyes traced the sky as if he’d already catch a glimpse of those dazzling lights in the waning evening light. He’d never been apart from Cassian on this night, he’d never even had the chance to properly spend it with Y/N. But you had each other and you would be safe from him. 

He rubs at his chest. His heart straining behind his ribs, as if it feels betrayed by him, as if it will leave him here in this cave and return to his mates alone. Azriel takes a steadying breath and steps back into the darkness of the cave. He wouldn’t go back. They were better without him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

You stood on the balcony of the eerily quiet House of Wind. On Starfall your home was usually a buzz of activity but this year Rhysand had moved the festivities to his river house to give you some peace and quiet.

But the quiet was suffocating as you stood alone. One mate was missing and the other…

Cassian had become a shadow of himself. After Azriel left he trained less, took on less missions from Rhys and eventually stopped leaving his room.

Every morning you bought him food, every evening you curled up with him and told him of your day but you could feel him slipping from you.

His once dark black wings had begun to fade to an ashy grey. On the days he dressed his sirens remained dull and lifeless. You were lost on what more you could do. You were losing him.

Tears roll down your cheeks and reflect the first tumbling lights of Starfall. An all encompassing sadness washes over you, your lungs becoming tight and it slowly becomes harder to breathe. It was as if your emotions were too much for one person to hold.

Your breath catches in your throat. It couldn’t be?

Azriel? You reach out.

After months of Azriel having the bond shutdown you didn’t realise when he’d crept back in. You try to reach for more but you feel his presence sliding away.

No. He had to stay. You couldn’t keep going on like this. You throw down the bond the one thing that might get him to stay.

I think Cassian is dying. You let out a sob. Azriel he’s fading and I don’t know what to do.

One moment you're watching the stars fall from the sky, the next they’re blacked out by a pair of wings high above you. The Illyrian drops sharply from the sky and lands heavily next to you, vibrations sent rumbling through the stone.

“Az?” You whisper.

Azriel straightens from his landing. He looks disheveled, hair askew, dark circles permanently embedded under even darker eyes.

“I know I don’t deserve-“ he doesn’t look at you as he speaks. “What’s wrong with him? Was he poisoned? Injured?” He stares out over the balcony and you can see his jaw clench.

“You left.” You growl out.

“That’s not important right no-“ He snarls

“No! You. Left. Azriel. That’s what’s wrong with him.” You throw the images down the bond. Cassian slumped in his chair. Of his fading complexion. Wings barely lifted from the floor.

Azriel flinches at the sight. Then he finally looks at you. Tears welling in his eyes.

“I had to Y/N.” He swallows thickly. “My nature is literally the depths of darkness. I skate a thin line of control and I can’t afford to fall from that ledge now that there is you.”

“Az-“ You move to step toward him.

“No.” Azriel shakes his head and side steps further from you. “You don’t understand. Cassian is whole and good and light. He is the moon. And you. You are his stars. You are two of the same. Meant for each other.” He grips the balcony's ledge so tightly the scars of his hands bloom white. Your emotions are at war inside you. You are furious that he left, joyful that he has returned and heart broken that he doesn’t see himself the way you do.

“If Cassian is the moon and I am the stars then Azriel you are our night sky.” You move to him now, resting your hands lightly on his forearm. The note he left that night beginning to make sense. “Your darkness doesn’t dim our light, it’s the reason for our brightness. Your darkness is the blanket in which we rest, the sanctuary in which we relied upon.” You take a steadying breath.

You begin to step back, to give him some space “But if your heart does not beat for us the way-“

Azriel’s hand snaps to your wrist and suddenly you find yourself wrapped in his arms, your face burrowed in his chest. His lips brush against the top of your head.

“Do not. For a second. Insinuate that I don’t think of you both in every second of every day.” You hold him infinitely closer at his words.

Time stretches on between you as you stand in each other's arms. Eventually you pull back.

“I need to tell Cassian that you’re here.” Azriel releases you from his arms and immediately you want to go back to him.

“You will stay?” You ask wary that as soon as you turn he will disappear again.

He nods. “I’ll wait to see him.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The door clicks closed on Cassian’s room as you step back into the hall. You find Azriel there waiting for you.

“He said” you pause.

“He doesn’t want to see me.” Azriel finishes unsurprised.

“Yes.” You admit quietly.

“It’s okay Y/N. He’s always been a stubborn ass.” His lips lift in a soft smirk. “I deserve much worse.” His wings fall and he turns to walk back down the hall. You quickly follow not wanting to let him out of your sight.

He pulls a chair out from the dining table and slumps into it. Instead of taking a seat of your own, you move to stand between his legs. He welcomes you into his space, hands finding your hips as your fingers brush across a stubbled jaw.

“I want to stay.” He whispers, dark eyes meeting yours.

“Then stay Azriel.” You whisper back. Letting your fingers trail across his face, committing every line and freckle to memory.

“How will you forgive me?” He turns to brush his lips along your palm. “How will he?”

“Just give it some time Azriel. He needs to know that you are staying for good. That you are committed to this.” You can’t bring yourself to say that you need it too, but you can see in Azriel’s eyes that he understands.

You stand in peace for a moment. Azriel was far from forgiven but he was here, back in your arms, back where he belonged.

“I’ll take the dedication.” Azriel nods after a moment, as if all is decided.

“The dedication?” You take a half step back trying to read his face.

“It’s an old Illyrian custom, the greatest act of commitment of one Illyrian to another.” He stands from the chair and takes your hands in his.

“It’s a sacrifice I will make for him and for you. I don’t expect either of you to forgive me right away but it’s a start.” His eyes are determined as they flick between yours.

He brings your hands to his lips and kisses each of them gently.

“I have to go to Windhaven. But I’ll be back soon.” He releases your hands and goes to move away.

“Wait.” You put a hand to his chest. “If this dedication is so important why haven’t you or Cassian taken it before?”

“Cassian wouldn-” He pauses. “It’s an outdated tradition. It’s rarely completed anymore. But I promise Y/N.” He steps forward and places a light kiss to your cheek “I’ll be back.”

He disappears over the closest balcony and a sinking feeling won’t leave your gut. Azriel is desperate to fix things between the three of you. What if this dedication is dangerous? What if he doesn’t return because he no longer can?

Azriel had said it was an old tradition no a sacrifice, but of what? He said that Cassian wouldn’t… No. This is bad. Whatever this dedication was Cassian didn’t want it from Azriel, which meant it was definitely dangerous. And Cassian was in no state to stop him. You did the only thing you could think to do.

Rhysand!

—-------------------------------------------------------------------

Rhys arrived at the house only moments later, his deep velvet suit twinkling with the lights of Starfall. Within the Night Court you could usually always reach him, but given recent events he had been extra vigilant of you and Cassian.

“I’m sorry to pull you from your family tonight.” You apologise.

“You are all part of my family. Is he okay?” Rhys tilts his head in consideration.

“Cass is fine. What’s the dedication?” You rush out.

“What? How do you know about dedication?” He looks at you with wide eyes and gods that cannot be good.

“Azriel’s back. Cassian wouldn’t see him and he’s gone to Windhaven to take the dedication. What is it? Is it another Rite?” The more you talk the whiter Rhys’ face becomes. And then he’s furious.

“That fucking fool.” Rhysand’s wings burst forth and he pivots heading back the way he came, to the stairs to the rooftop.

“Rhys?” You rush after him, taking the stairs two at a time.

“The dedication is an ancient Illyrian tradition. Usually performed by females.” His low growls echo through the stone stairwell. “It’s the ultimate act of submission of one Illyrian to another.”

Your stomach rolls at the implications. If the Illyrians no longer performed this dedication then it had to be truly barbaric.

“What act?” You pant out as Rhys reaches the door to the roof.

He turns to you briefly, “He’s going to remove his wings.”

You freeze. Your body literally locks into place at the top of stairs as Rhysand bursts onto the roof and takes flight, disappearing into the night sky.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------

You don’t know how long you stand there, frozen in place. Azriel was going to remove his wings? Maybe they were already gone?

No. You couldn’t think like that. But why did he think you’d want that? Cassian wouldn’t want that, would he?

A thousand more questions run through your mind before your trance is broken by the appearance of two bodies in the sky above you.

Suddenly one body shoves away from the other and two pairs of Illyrian wings are silhouetted by the lights of Starfall.

Thank the Cauldron. Rhysand had reached him in time. You can hear their shouts of arguing far above you, but you can’t make out what’s being said.

You take the moment to reach out to Cassian.

Cass. You feel his warmth wrap around your mind. It always felt like being rugged up near a crackling fire when he reached for you. Azriel took off to Windhaven to take the dedication. He’s okay. Rhysand brought him back. All the warmth leached from your mind and you felt his side of the bond go cold. You let out a breath. You’d deal with that issue later, you could only handle one problem at a time right now.

Rhysand and Azriel were finally gliding back to the roof, both looking furious. As Azriel’s feet touch down you’re almost sent tumbling by a black blur flying past you. Cassian collides heavily with Azriel, sending his back slamming into the wall of the house.

Cassian, now dressed in full Illyrian leather's red sirens flaring brighter than you had seen in weeks, has Azriel pinned with a forearm to his chest.

“What the fuck are you thinking.” He snarls.

Azriel doesn’t even attempt to fight back, he allows himself to be held against the wall, wings flared on either side.

Rhysand takes quick stock of the situation like he’s seen this scenario play out a hundred times before and maybe he had. His eyes find yours and you give him a small nod, giving your thanks and letting him know that you’ll be okay. Rhys takes to the sky once again, returning to his family at the River House.

“You don’t get to reappear after three months and then take off to Windhaven for the dedication!” You’d never seen the fury in Cassian directed at Azriel before.

“What were you going to do huh?” He doesn’t wait for Azriel to respond. His voice raises as he becomes more desperate “Go through all that pain, retrain for weeks to adjust to the change in balance, just to rejoin a battle and leave yourself vulnerable? You enter a ward and you don’t winnow out! Did you think about that? That you wouldn’t be able to leave the ground anymore? That you wouldn’t be able to get out? That you wouldn’t be able to get her out?” Cassian tosses his head back in your direction. Azriel's eyes flick from Cassian to you and you can tell he hadn’t thought about it. That type of combat was Cassian’s forte. Those are the things that Cassian would always think about first.

“For what Azriel?” He lifts his forearm and slams it back into his chest.

“For you!” Azriel finally shouts back. “For you and for her. I would gladly deliver my wings to you on a silver platter if it meant you would even look in my direction again.”

“What?” Cassian steps back stunned.

“I left because I thought you’d both be better off without me.” Azriel pushes from the wall.

An image of you and Cassian tangled in bed together floods your vision and you realise it’s from the night Azriel left. You watch as his attention is drawn to one of his shadows crawling towards your resting figures and you know that's the moment he decided to leave.

You immediately answer with a memory of your own. With the conversation that directly preceded Azriel’s perspective.

He looked as if death came to walk the earth and I got fucking hard. Casian laughs at himself. Az scented it and jumped me, Rhys couldn’t winnow away fast enough. I guess you could say the darkness called to me.

I think I know the feeling. You giggled to yourself. Cassian raised a hand to your chin, pulling your eyes to his, dazzling grin still wide.

And that is why we are made for each other my love. He pulls you in for another lingering kiss.

You let the memory fade and you’re all brought back to the roof.

“You said we were the moon and the stars,” Cassian cocks his head in consideration as you step forward. And you already know you’ll have to fill him in on that conversation later. “But left to our own devices we burn each other out. You are the diffuser. You are the solace that cradles the light, that controls the burn.” You take his hand in yours, letting all the love and concern you have for him slide down the bond.

“If you thought she was made for me and I for her you were wrong.” Cassian’s voice is hoarse from the yelling. “We were made for you.”

Azriel’s eyes well with tears.

“And you walked away.” Cassian turns back to the house, all the fight now depleted from him.

Azriel bows his head in defeat.

“Cassian.” Azriel begs.

Cassian stills halfway to the door.

“I want to come home.” Azriel’s voice breaks.

“Then come home.” Cassian tosses over his shoulder before striding back into the house.

---------------------------------------------------------------------- a/n: So I think I'm incapable of writing a happy endings at this point, but Part 3 maybe?

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