#caspering

Day 3 of no contact. You’ve checked your phone 47 times, drafted a dozen texts you didn’t send, and found yourself genuinely wondering if your ex is still alive because surely they would have contacted you by now if they were okay. Sound familiar? If you’re asking “why does no contact feel so hard,” you’re experiencing one of the most universally challenging aspects of breakup recovery. The…

One minute you felt loved, desired, and complete. The next, you’re questioning everything about yourself. “Am I not good enough? What’s wrong with me? Will anyone ever love me again?” If you’re wondering “why do I feel so worthless after the breakup,” you’re experiencing one of the most universal yet misunderstood aspects of relationship loss. You’re Not Broken—Your Brain Is Just Doing Its…

How it feels to be “Caspered,” aka a victim of friendly ghosting

How it feels to be “Caspered,” aka a victim of friendly ghosting

“So I Caspered her,” Matt* said flatly as he took a sip of his second Pilsner. “Like the mattress?” “Ha, no. Caspered. You know, like the Friendly Ghost,” he smirked. He should’ve added, “I’ll show you in an about a week.” After my ex of almost two years and I broke up, Matt was the first guy I’d hung out with that I could see…

Have you been "caspered" lately? Plenty of people have been "ghosted" before, and caspering is a new spin on the ghosting trend that may actually be kinder than other forms of rejection.

Before we get into the dynamics of ghosting vs. caspering, here are two quick definitions:

Ghosting: To "ghost" someone, you abruptly end contact with a person you've been dating — without any form of explanation. Eventually, the other person gets the message that you're no longer interested.

Caspering: Before ending contact with the other person, you politely let them know that you don’t want to pursue the relationship. You may also offer an explanation or give constructive feedback on your experience. Then, you stop contact.

The beginning of a relationship can involve a lot of different responses — both good and bad. They’ve evolved thanks to the internet and the way we now interact with potential beaus online, but in comparison to other modern dating trends, there’s a reason caspering is the “friendly” way to end a relationship.