#bridgens

AAHH my first ever fanfiction!! This one is for @theterrorwhumpathon​ bingo, “period-typical surgery”.

i wanted to compile together a list of my very favorite Terror fics! peruse the list for some enjoyable reading and consider leaving a comment <3 all of these links will take you to ao3

Winter Winds by rowenablade

Goodcollins/Rated E/ 7k words

Canon divergence. Goodsir and Collins survive the expedition, get an apartment together in London, and fall in love. Sad, beautiful, and good aftercare for when you've just finished a rewatch.

Sculpin by ThisWasInevitable

Goodcollins/Rated E/15k words

This is part one of this author's Beechey Island, OR AU which I'm completely in love with! Collins is struggling with depression and trying to keep his job working on a boat off the coast when he develops a crush on local tide pool tour guide Harry Goodsir. Sweet and hot.

Guillemot by ThisWasInevitable

Bridglar/Rated E/10k words

This is part two of the Beechey Island, OR AU. Peglar gets a job working on a boat off the coast (same boat as Collins). Falls in love with Bridgens, the local video rental store manager. Sexy, sweet, and super cute.

strange overtones by poorly_animated

Hodgson/Little/Tozer | Rated E | 15k words

Tozer drags Ned out to the club and they meet a strange but kind and generous girl (Hodgson). I clicked for Hodgson gender but stayed because I love thinking about Neddie so happy and he deserves to be with Tozer and Hodgson at the same time. Also. Wow. This one is just smoking hot.

A Treatise on Wondrous Phenomena. by notkingyet

Goodgore/ Rated E/ 1.3k words

Dr. Goodsir does petplay with Lieutenant Gore. The "pet" is a mollusk. Hot, sweet, and real.

Come to Papa by poorly_animated

Little/Blanky/Jopson | Rated E | 9k words

Edward and Blanky have an arrangement, Edward sucks him off and calls him Papa and Blanky gives him positive attention. Blanky does not believe in keeping secrets from Crozier or his steward.

This may be one of the hottest things I've ever read. poorly_animated has an incredible handle on writing pathetic Edward Little and particularly good at writing oral sex.

set my teeth in the silver of the moon by Spirk_kock

Joplittle/Rated E/15k+ words (and counting!)

Thomas Jopson becomes more and more intrigued by his neighbor, Edward Little. His obsession becomes so intense that he begins stalking Edward.

swooning and twirling my hair and humble bragging that this fic was gifted to meeeee <3 <3 <3 Elliot is my best friend and I get to see all of the fic developments behind the scenes. This is hands-down one of my favorite fics ever and I'm so excited to see where it goes.

boyfriend's boyfriend by Spirk_kock

Jopson/Tozer/Little | Rated E | 9k words

Thomas wakes up to find that his boyfriend (Edward) is gone but his boyfriend's boyfriend (Tozer) is still in bed with him.

Just plain hot. My two favorite guys to ship with Edward are Jopson and Tozer so this is just so satisfying. It's just so hot!

Always Should Be Someone You Really Love by gairfowl

Crozier/Fitzjames/James Clark Ross/Ann Coulman Ross | Rated E | 4k words

Ann Coulman Ross and Crozier both dress up as gentlemen and show their ladies, James Clark Ross and Fitzjames, a lovely evening.

As hot as it is refreshing and new. I love gairfowl's highlighting that the clothing they are wearing (even though Crozier is NOT crossdressing) is a part of their play. I love clothes-on sex so this spoke to me. And when I think about 1840s lingerie I have to sit down.

all the riches one man can claim by potato_leader

Fitzconte/ Rated T/ 1.6 k words

1960s AU. Jamie is a beautiful housewife and Le Vesconte is a cunning linguist (he eats her pussy). I love that there's such an intriguing backstory in this one.

won't you lean on me when I'm around by potato_leader

Joplittle/ Rated M/ 2.9 k words

(fun fact: the morning after this fic was revealed, i woke up to my city having a lovely covering of snow. that felt pretty magical, i won't lie.)

a hundred thousand thanks to the terror advent calendar admins for running this, to the prompt requesters that generate amazing ideas, and to the amazing creatives participating in the event (formally or informally)! thrilled that my cozy bridglar fic is a part of something so cool and lovely. hope y'all enjoy it. xo

fair snow, fair youth summary:

the first proper snowfall of the year arrives for the Peglar-Bridgenses, so their cozy traditions must follow.   ⋆⁺₊❅ • ❅*̩‧͙ ❅ ‧͙* ❆ ͙͛⁺₊₊⋆   happy winter/yuletide/holiday season, sailors! title of this lil guy is a reference to shakespeare. listen to the second volume of "songs for christmas" by sufjan stevens while reading for maximum vibe curation. darling anon (zipegs on ao3!!!) that requested this prompt: i hope you enjoy!

annnnnnd have some vibe curation for the fic:

Inspired by @schofielded, @fragglez and @falling-through-a-trapdoor's posts and my belief that there's a Mal Blum song for every occasion.

1. Silna- Did You Get What You Wanted?: Did they ask what you did?/ Did you want to respond/ Do you ever get the feeling lately that maybe you've been getting it all wrong? ; God I hope I get a gift bag, a little of my faith back ; Did you get what you wanted / or at least, did you want what you got? / Don't tell me you did not / Don't tell me you did not like you never had a choice

2. Crozier- Xmas Eve: last night was holy/ whole lotta whisky/ nobody celebrates the birth of christ like me ; everyone knows I've got a sweet spot for you/ that I cannot bear to let out/ so I cover it in clothes, pour myself into a hole/ where I wait til I am out ; I don't use your name, you don't use mine/ you write me letters that I'm not supposed to find/ I took the bus there, we were going nowhere/ it didn't feel like we were going nowhere at the time

Alcoholism, a complicated relationship with the church, and complicated relationships, this song has it all. The whole "we were going nowhere" bit does remind me of the however many failed proposals but a lot of the anonymity of it all could lend itself to a reading of a secret (queer) relationship.

Maybe I'll Wait: Maybe I'll wait/ Maybe I'll stay another year or two ; I am as useless as they come/ and are you used to all this talk yet / you say I don't like myself but I've been trying to reverse it ; But I'll keep looking for you / another year and nothing different or new

There's a little bit of self-hatred/ imposter syndrome here which works quite well with Crozier but mostly I connect this with his decision to stay in the Arctic even after JCR comes looking for him. Some of this could be read from JCR's perspective as well.

3a) James Fitzjames- Candy Bars & Men: go out for nourishment, find candy bars and men/ ain't it nice, ain't it nice, to rest your head/ ain't it nice, ain't it nice, to pretend ; and just this once, boy, I don't mind being your secret/ never liked sugar much but now and then I need it

3b) Jamie Fitzjamie: Everybody Loves You- everybody loves you/ everyone adores you/ everybody's sure of you ; I know it too/ how to dress up my blues, parade them around/ But everybody loves you

These are my alternate universe JFJs, one where she continues to hide everything (gender identity, birthplace, etc.) and ends up permenantly isolated, only able to make temporary, surface-level connections. Then there's the alternative, which isn't perfect, where she still has a lot of insecurities and has to fight the desire to hide them, but her friends love her for who she is and she can be her complete true self.

4a. Hickey (undiagnosed)- Cool Party: how can I give you what you ask me for/ if I don't wanna take care of myself no more? ; I don't believe in nothing/ least of all my own intentions

How can you be what you need to be/what people want you to be when you are/you feel you are fundamentally incapable of doing so?

4b. Hickey (w/ treatment)- Better Than I Was: has my face gotten older?/ has my voice gotten lower?/ I feel the same/ but the world keeps getting slower/ something inside of me says/ I'm better than I was; being left by someone/ who don't get you isn't wrong/ it's a favour

It's hard to imagine exactly how a specific character would respond to treatment so this is as much my own ruminations on what getting treatment does. There's a sense of uncertainty and wariness of change, but overall I think he'd be happy to be doing better and to have healthy relationships and be able to respond healthily to any challenges in these.

5. Goodsir- My Name Is Earthworm: I don't mind I'll be your earthworm/ I will wait here in the dirt/ for you to come and find me and determine what I'm worth/ and cut me into two halves/ half one and half two/ I'll be the person wiping up your tears this afternoon ; I had a dream that we all woke up and realised it didn't matter ; I could be your wingman while you check out the ladies

The last one is just my Goodsir/Silna QPR agenda.

6. Little- Weary: Because believe me I get sad sometimes/ I get so shaky I could lose my mind/ And I will wait with you in the meantime/ If you find you're weary/ If you find you're weak/ If you find yourself without the comfort that you've come to seek/ you can count on me ; And you, you are the leader of the pack, it's true/ Without you we would not know what to do ; Because maybe I'm the one that's weary/ maybe I'm the one that's weak/ and now I find myself without the words I really want to speak/ but you can count on me

Sad tired bitch 4 sad tired bitch codependent relationship Little/Crozier.

7. Jopson- Nobody Waits: you only want me when I'm well/ you only want me when I'm okay/ and today I am unwell/ I take it you don't find it charming ; are you still bothered by the ghosts?/ do they ever mention me? ; It's okay, if nobody waits for me

A sad one, but I see this as Jopson's internal monologue as he's left behind to die. He knows that what's happening isn't fair, but he can't find it in himself to be openly angry at Crozier for (he thinks) leaving him. Meanwhile, Crozier is definitely haunted by his ghost.

8. Blanky- Better Go: Better go, better go, better go without me/ 'cause I don't, I don't, I don't know the thing to say/ it's all demand 'til they need where your body stands/ guess I ain't using my body anyway ; one by fire and one by plague/ don't think that I'll see you again/ but I don't mind it as I once did

To me, this feels like Blanky's acceptance of his own death. He can't use his own body anymore so he might as well use it to save his friends. Also, I didn't realise this when I picked the song, but "one by fire and one by plague" could not get more Terror if it tried.

9. Irving- San Cristóbal: I found religion in a dirty bathroom stall/ In the back of a liquor store, in that mini mall and/ You found religion when you realised you could fall

I think modern Irving would still be somewhat religious but would have a much more complicated relationship to it, which this song gets. There are implications of cruising (or drugs) and honestly I think Irving would have the occasional hookup in moments of what he sees as weakness, and the times he has sex with men are the times he feels closest to what he believes god to be, but he doesn't know how to process that. I'd also recommend "Watercolors" (also by Mal Blum), because, well, obviously.

10. Tozer- Split, Splitting: but you wept/ you said I tasted like pain to you/ I think that it's just a mood ; used to feel dangerous, now it's just sad ; stories you tell to them/ memories of fallen men ; I raised red flags and charm and all/ I bet you taste like my manias/ bet I don't want to find out ; I bet you taste like my lowest lows/ bet I don't ever want to know

11. Bridgens- The Road: the places I have loved the most/ they keep me on the road; your hair blowing in the wind/ on the off-ramp and on again/ to everywhere I've ever been/ it keeps me on the road ; but there's never been no other way for me/ than keeping on the road/ you keep me on the road

I'm fairly sure that Bridgens is the oldest man on the expedition, and there's got to be a reason for that. To me, his two main reasons are a love of travelling and going to new places, and his love for Peglar.

12. Hodgson- Side I'm On: there's nothing you can say now/ I've found you out ; killer care I have for you ; I'm not gonna leave so we better make amends ; still, it's not a fair side I'm on now/ but I know it's not a fair side you're on now

The whole complicated situation of not knowing who to ally himself with. He has his reasons for joining the mutineers, leaving the remaining officers he'd been working with up until this point, but he doesn't ever seem to be able to fully ally himself with Hickey. None of the sides are for him.

13. Collins- Robert Frost: On a polar high/ that I found one night/ it was cold outside ; I go back to where/ I'm meant to be/ [...]/ I want to know when it stopped/ the eye of the storm/ everything is not what it was ; I wish that I'd replied/ I wish he hadn't died/ I wish a lot of things ; the frozen air/ and the frozen ice/ and the biggest hurts/ and the boldest lies are gonna disappear/ like the melting point/ like my melting rules/ like my melting life/ I go back to where I'm meant to be

This is my depression/things are getting worse and I don't care anymore song (I'm fine I promise). It's got the cyclical nature of mental illness, losing control, a touch of being haunted by the past, and some ice metaphors.

14. Hartnell- Anybody Else: by the afternoon you'd made your move/ took every little piece of you/ took your space and your love and you left ; maybe you've finally found your way

This doesn't align completely with the song as I think it's meant to be interpreted, but a lot of the lines can be read as trying to process the loss of someone close to you and figuring out who you are without them.

15. Gibson- Splinter: splinter off in my neck/ but it's better than the rest/ you were sweet, I undressed/ said you didn't mind the mess/ back when I needed no one so/ it's me that changed my mind/ and who could hold you at fault?/ you even warned me at the time

16. Le Vesconte- You Should Be Here: and I am not family/ but I sat at the table/ and I tried to answer/ what I was not able/ like, where did you go, dear?/ why'd you go there?/ are you out playing your twelve string/ with no strings and no one to hear?// and who do you know now?/ has it been a year?/ these are the things I would ask you if only you could be here/ you should be here

I struggled finding somehting for Dundy so I had to get sad with it. To me, this is an outcome he's imagined where they get rescued after Fitzjames has died and, as his closest friend pre-expedition, he has to explain what happened. Even in the short time we get in the show, I imagine him really struggling without one of his closest and oldest friends.

17. Clark Ross- Overseas Now: are you overseas now?/ with the drugs/ and all the men/ or are you dead/ or hiding in your loft/ behind your papers and your pens/ just how we met/ I never did believe the words they said/ the bluest blues/ the reddest reds/ I never did believe a word they said/ they made it up/ even the end

18.1. Stanley- Stockpiled Guns and TV Dinners: you want to know if you can up and count on me/ honey, I wish I knew how to leave ; but I try not to judge between canned goods and water jugs/ security's a comodity that we're all buying up ; the desert is a nice escape

This is going with the sadder, more show-accurate interpretation of Stanley, but this song really reminds me of loneliness and a desperate desire to make connections and to be someone that people can go to for support but not knowing how to do any of that.

18.2. Tuunbaq- The Bodies, The Zombies!: and I saw it/ in an exhibit, baby/ in the promised land/ in your big blue eyes/ and your artist's hands/ were with your small intestine/ and your crooked grin/ on the table ; you never compromised/ no, you couldn't empathise/ and now that you're so dead and all/ it all just feels so literal/ so you can really have my brain/ you can really have my heart: it's yours/ if you want it ; even the dead don't sleep alone/ show me the tissue of your bones ; I've been trying to live

20. Gore- Counting My Breaths: winter is over/ I think I got closure/ I mean I got closer/ than I was before ; everything I know/ I owe to perspective ; but every lesson I had to learn over/ I learned in the end ; and dear/ since I'm not home/ I won't mind if you leave ; one, two, three/ I didn't mean/ who said you could count on me/ counting my breaths/ counting my breaths ; winter was hard/ we drove fast, we went far

21. The Bird Jopson Sees When Peglar Is Dying Right Behind Him- Fine!: you gotta nip those tragic feelings in the bud ; and I think I'm gonna be fine/ I'm gonna be good now/ I'm gonna be everything I always wished I could now ; excuse me, I think that I might fly/ but it's alright/ it's just 'cause I realised I'm gonna be fine/ I'm gonna be fine/ you're gonna be fine/ we're gonna be fine

I can't believe it's been a year since the Bridgens Davechella playlist came out. It's so nice to be able to listen to the Bridgens playlists I have found, as I'm very fond of them and each one brought such an interesting new look at Bridgens. I gotta say, with both the Davechella one and quite a few of the fanchellas, these playlists I like to put on when I'm trying to unwind or sitting inside being cozy on a rainy day. I mean obviously there are variations, but going through Bridgens' playlists was such an interesting one. My raw data can be found here, with each playlist attributed to each creator.

The Bridgens Davechella playlist got 542 saves on Spotify.

Listen to The Secret Marriage by Hanns Eisler, Sting, Daniel Hope, Royal Stockholm Philharmonic Orchestra, Alexander Shelley

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