#bpdblog

SUPPORT 👏🏻 PEOPLE 👏🏻 WITH 👏🏻 BORDERLINE 👏🏻 PERSONALITY 👏🏻 DISORDER.

I feel like while knowledge on mental health is getting better, some mental health disorders are still being massively stigmatised and being left behind. 

When I was diagnosed with BPD, I had NEVER heard of it, however most people who are diagnosed with depression/anxiety know what that is. I believe the term “Borderline Personality Disorder” has quite a negative connotation to it that comes with a lot of negative stigma. The new term “Emotional Dysregulation Disorder” is much more fitting, but the term is only just being used in the medical field, hopefully it’ll be used by all practitioners at some point in the future. Obviously because I’ve been diagnosed with BPD and live with it on a daily basis, I feel really strongly about this and I hope one day BPD will be as well known as depression and anxiety. 

Although BPD isn’t heavily talked about, I know those with this diagnosis are just as worthy and deserving of having their diagnosis spoken about! Having a range of mental health disorders in the public eye will help those being diagnosed feel less scared and isolated, it is so so important to get all types of mental health problems and disorders on the same level as publicity as depression and anxiety.🧠💗

I know I'm not relationship material. Cuz Bpd messes up everything in my life. But.

I sometimes wonder... if I really want it.

If I really wish to be with someone.

Will they stick around?

Will they see past the anger, the rage, turmoil and love me, for me.

So, Im gonna use this from today on to actually journal about my demons and all things that cross my mind as I cant trust to journal in an actual diary etc cuz I dont want anyone finding out and giving me shit for it.

I have BPD, it's actually such a cruel mental illness. But you know what's worse? That I do have a great, amazing support system at home, wondderful parents and my big brother who is such an amazing human being always there for me whenever i need him.

My parents are elders and you know what that means,.. lots of fights, they've became extremely stubborn and I currently work from home. Just the environment alone drives me nuts 5 out of 7 days of the week. I've been trying to learn about letting go, emotion regulation etc, online, for years now, as I dont have social security or the funds to see an actual therapist, etc.

I don't really know how to handle things, we just had a massive argument, Im left with sadness, disappointment, like every damn time I try my best to fulfill something throughout the day, something bad happens. I know life is not always great and happy, etc. But man, I don't know what the fuck to do. I have the URGE to disappear for a while and fucking let them be without me and see what they'll do if Im not around anymore, but then I guilt trip and its like a loop am always in...I feel so hopeless.

Specially cuz the strongest person in my home, my brother is starting to also show symptoms of anxiety and probly depression, no one talks about us caregivers and how fucking hard our lifes are. I'm tired. Im so so so tired.

I hope tomorrow's a better day, perhaps.

Wish me luck.