#borderline tag

okay im tired of it i dont wanna have borderline anymore this shit fucking sucks. im tired of people taking advantage of my love and running for the hills when it gets to be too much, or claiming im an abuser, or whatever the fuck. im tired of not being able to handle rejection. im tired of the abandonment issues, perceived or not. i dont deserve this. nobody does.

I am waiting for the day when I am happy that I did not die when I wanted to. I wait for the moment when all the pain makes sense and all the scars have been worth it

i miss the illusion of being loved by my friends.

just started re-writing My Novel that i haven't touched in almost 5 years and which i first started almost 10 years ago. i've drastically changed several things about the story, but i've written a couple of lines that are so these characters that my chest physically hurt. i've missed them like friends.

god forbid the person going to a mental health hospital tries to get help from their peers in a mental health hospital and the peers in the mental health hospital are like yes we're also in a mental health hospital and we can help you we like you and the peers turn their back and lie and say ur too mentally ill for this mental health hospital ur going to the scary portion of the mental health hospital that genuinely is traumatic because we're so selfish we dont wanna help you in this mental health hospital

our father, who art in heaven, baja be thy blast